"TÈA'S COMING TO VISIT! I LOVE TÈA!" Tom shouted with glee.

*****

"When's Téa coming? Will she be here soon?" Tom asked excitedly. He suddenly stopped talking and looked sad.

"What's wrong Boomer?" Sam asked.

"Is Téa coming to see me or does she just wanna see Timmy?"

"Téa loves both of you very much. Téa will be very happy to see that you're out," Susannah explained. She knew something was bothering him. He still looked troubled and sad. "Honey, what is it? Can you tell us what's bothering you about Téa coming?"

Tom looked down at the blanket and shrugged.

Sam sat down next to him and put his arm around him. "Come on Boomer. Tell Coach what the problem is?"

"Timmy said Téa's not mad at me, but maybe she still is?" he wondered dejectedly.

"Noooo, Boomer. Téa was never mad at you. What makes you think that she is?"

"Cause last time she visited me Pete pulled me back in and he was mean to her. I tried to get back out, but Pete wouldn't let me. He's a big bully! And I don't care if he hears me," Tom said defiantly . . . almost angrily. This was the first emotion even close to anger that Tom had ever displayed. He told Susannah long ago that he never gets mad.

"Yes, sometimes Pete can be a bully," Susannah acknowledged. "Honey, Téa knows that it wasn't your fault that Pete came out and she knows you would have come back if you could have."

"Really! Téa don't blame me?"

"Really, Boomer. You know Téa just mentioned the other day that she missed seeing you and hoped you'd be around sometime when she came to visit."

"She did!" Tom practically shouted. A huge smile appeared on his face.

"Yes, baby. She did. I heard her say it," Viki added.

"I didn't get to do a lot of stuff with Téa that I wanted to do. Can she come now?"

They all knew that Todd's body had already had a very trying day. He needed rest and sleep. However, they realized a visit from Téa would do him a world of good.

"Tom, it's late and . . ."

"Hhhha! My watch! Where's my watch?" Tom cut Susannah off. The mention of time made him look at his wrist. He panicked when he saw he wasn't wearing his watch.

"It's right here, Boomer." Sam reached in the draw and retrieved the watch and put it on Tom's left wrist.

Tom noticed his right hand was bandaged. "Am I hurt again?"

"You have a cut on your hand and some stitches," Susannah answered. She stroked his cheek reassuringly.

Tom's lower lip started to quiver. "I'm not gonna cry." Tom was trying to be brave.

"Honey, you can cry if you want to. Even the bravest people cry," Susannah informed him.

"They do?" he sounded disbelieving.

"Sure they do, Boomer. Policemen and firemen cry. Soldiers cry."

"What about Luke Skywalker?" Tom asked seriously.

Sam smiled. "Yep. Even Luke Skywalker cries."

"Tom, your hand is healing. It doesn't hurt you does it?" Susannah inquired.

"Nope." Tom replied.

"Good, just take it easy with it and soon you'll be able to use it again," Susannah informed him.

Tom thought for a minute and then realized his hand's limitations. "How will I draw and do my puzzles? How will I play with my video games?" He was beginning to panic a little.

"Honey, it may be difficult for a little while. You will have to try to use your left hand to draw and do puzzles with," Susannah answered gently.

"I can help hold your video games. We'll be a team, how about that?" Sam suggested.

"Like when you used to let us help drive your car?" Tom remembered.

"Yeah, just like that," Sam answered and stroked Tom's head. Sam's eyes welled up with tears at the memory of it.

"Maybe Téa can play too. Is she coming?" They saw his mind was back on Téa's visit.

"I can't promise Téa will come this evening. She may have to work. If she can come, will you be willing to have her visit you here in your room, so you can rest while she's here?" Susannah bargained.

Tom was tired. He didn't understand why because he had just gotten there. He didn't realize that Todd's body was exhausted.

"Okay. Téa can visit me here. Maybe tomorrow we can go back to the art room or the playroom. Or we can walk in the hall. Can I get those cool skates? I forget what they're called. They're different from the kind of skates Todd had when we lived with our mom and dad. Sometimes I would come out when Todd was outside or in the park and I would see people skating on them."

"They're called inline skates or Rollerblades," Susannah responded. She then, seriously, thought about it for a minute. "Tom, not right now, because it would be too strenuous for you and for Todd's body, but maybe a little ways down the road. You would have to let someone hold on to you, on both sides, the whole time you were on them."

"Cool! Coach! Viki! Did you hear? Doctor Hanen says I can get Rollerblades." Tom's face was lit up like a neon sign.

Sam and Viki looked at Susannah as if she had lost her mind. She would explain to them later that it would be a fun way for Todd's body to get exercise and with the two people holding Tom up on either side, making sure he didn't hurt himself or anyone else, there would be very little danger in him just skating up and down the hallway. She wanted to try to give him some small glimpse of a normal life.

"Honey, Viki will call Téa and see if she can come visit you. In the meantime, it's time for dinner. Are you hungry?" Susannah asked.

Tom shrugged. At least he didn't say no. "Can Téa have dinner with me?"

"Well, if she can come and she hasn't eaten yet, perhaps she can," Viki answered. She stroked Tom's cheek and suggested, "Why don't I go outside and call Téa and see if she can come over?"

"Okay, Tom agreed hopefully. He then shyly asked, "Can she bring pizza?"

"If she can come, I think she can bring pizza, but if not I'll go get you some. Okay, Boomer?"

Tom nodded. They could tell he was hoping Téa would come with it. They all hoped Téa could come.

*****

Téa was still in the process of reorganizing her schedule. She contacted some attorneys she knew and in a manner somewhere between persuasive and aggressive, she talked them into putting in some hours at her pro bono practice. She personally called some of her clients and explained that her husband was ill and that she would have to spend a lot of time with him. She assured them that the attorneys that were taking over their cases were handpicked by her and would give their cases the same care and consideration that she did. With her caseload clear for the night, Téa was going to call Viki to find out if Rodd was still out. If he was and he wasn't asleep for the night yet, maybe she could pop in to say goodnight to him? She had been thinking about him ever since she left the hospital. She wondered how many times she had been with Rodd and not known it. She smiled when she thought about his charm and humor. She remembered all the times she thought, 'Who are you Todd Manning?' She still wasn't sure. What she was sure of was that she loved all the parts of him. "Well, except for Pete and that Saber they told me about," she thought out loud.

Téa was just about to pick up the phone when Kevin walked into her office. She was surprised to see him there again. Her surprise turned to fear when she realized he might be there because there was a problem. "Is something wrong with Todd or Rodd or . . ."

"Hey, slow down. He's fine, as far as I know. I was just wondering if you wanted to have some dinner?"

Téa was just about to tell him that she wanted to go back to the hospital if Rodd were still awake when the phone rang. "Hi . . . I was just about to call you . . . no, nothing. I was just wondering if Rodd was still out . . .Todd . . . what happened? Is he all right?"

Kevin tapped Téa's hand to get her attention. He mouthed, "Is Todd all right?"

Téa held her hand up, letting Kevin know she didn't get the whole story yet. "Really? He remembered that? . . . Oh Viki. That must have been so hard on him . . . Tom?" Téa put her hand over the phone's mouthpiece. "Tom is out," she informed Kevin. "He was willing to discuss the DID and two of the alters . . ." Téa turned her attention back to the phone call. "Who . . . I'm glad Susannah told him about them first . . . Oh Viki, he did! He really said that?" Téa put her hand over the mouthpiece again. "Todd said it's all right for me to visit with Tom and Timmy." Kevin heard the happiness and excitement in Téa's voice. Téa went back to her phone conversation. "No . . . Kevin is here . . . hold on I'll ask him." Téa turned to Kevin. "Tom is out and he wants me to visit and have dinner with him. Would you like to come with me?"

Kevin had never met Tom. He had heard what a great kid Tom was. "Sure. Tell my mom we'll be there in about thirty minutes, if that's all right with you?"

"Viki," Téa said into the phone. "We'll be there in about thirty minutes . . . Oh, don't be silly. It's no trouble at all. I would love to bring it. What kind does he like? Todd used to like plain cheese." Téa smiled and continued. "I guess they share that." Téa covered the phone again. "We have to stop to pick up a pizza for dinner. Tom asked for it."

"No problem. We can get one and at Mario's. It's only a couple of blocks from the hospital and it's on our way. Tell mom about forty five minutes."

"We'll be there in about forty five minutes . . . yes, that's where we're going. Kevin suggested it too . . . okay. Tell him pizza is on its way." Téa hung up. She grabbed her jacket, bag and her briefcase and she and Kevin headed out the door.

Tom was absorbed in the Spiderman cartoon he was watching when Viki came back into the room. She smiled and nodded yes to Sam and Susannah. "Hey, Boomer. It looks like you're going to be getting a visit from Téa and a pizza."

"Téa's coming? She's really coming just to see me?" Tom stared up at Sam with sad questioning eyes. He had still been a little afraid that Téa was angry with him.

"Viki took Tom's chin in her hand and gently squeezed it. "Yes, she is coming just to see you. She was very excited when I told her you were out. Kevin is coming to see you too."

Tom looked up at Viki for a moment and then looked down at the sheets. "Kevin is your son, right?" Tom wanted to be sure.

"That's right. He's my oldest son."

"How come he's coming to see me?"

"Kevin cares very much about you. He wants to see you. Sweetheart, is there a problem about Kevin coming?" Viki pressed.

Tom shrugged and asked if he could watch cartoons until Téa and Kevin got there. They told him he could. Tom's attitude seemed to change when he heard Kevin would be visiting along with Téa. His joy over Téa's visit seemed to diminish. Tom didn't seem as interested in his cartoon as he had been. They noticed he was mostly staring off, lost in thought. They knew something about Kevin coming to visit was bothering him. He didn't seem to want to talk about it and Susannah didn't want to push him. Todd's body had been through enough this day. It seemed like and eternity had passed since Timmy woke up this morning and then Todd came out. Then the switch to Bad Boy and Rodd and finally Todd again had come out again, only to switch to Tom. Susannah had hoped the neuroleptic would have slowed his switching a little more than it seemed to be doing. Perhaps it just needed more time and starting tomorrow his dosage was being increased to fifteen milligrams. She hoped that might help. Todd, himself, did seem to be getting some relief from this latest drug combination. He was more like the "old Todd" than he had been in a very long time. He still had a desire to die and still became weepy very easily, but he was able to communicate and the psychotic episodes were not coming on as frequently. He seemed to have a little more energy. Susannah was feeling hopeful.

*****

"I've got pizza!" Téa announced as she came into Todd's room holding up a pizza box.

"Téa!" Tom squealed with glee. Téa placed the box on the table and walked over to the bed. She gave Tom a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You really came. Are you really not mad at me?"

They realized all the reassurance in the world wasn't enough until he saw Téa standing in front of him and until he heard that she wasn't angry with him from her own lips.

"Tom, I've never been angry with you. What makes you think that I was?" Téa asked gently.

Tom looked down at the bed again. He shamefully admitted, "I wasn't strong enough to keep Pete from coming out the last time you came to see me." A tear slid down Tom's cheek.

"Oh, Tom. I understood." Téa saw he was still upset. Tenderly, she placed her hands on either side of his face and lifted it until they were looking in each other's eyes. "Tom, I don't blame you for Pete coming out. It wasn't your fault. I never expected you to stop him from coming out. Pete wanted to see me that day. We have some unfinished business and he wanted to talk about it. He didn't hurt me."

More tears flowed down Tom's cheeks. "I tried to come back out, but Pete was too strong. You think I'm a big chicken."

"Oh, no." Téa hugged him to her. "I think you are very brave and very special. What upset me was not getting to finish visiting with you."

"Really?" Tom 's question was muffled as he kept his face pressed against Téa's shoulder.

"Really! That was why I was so happy when Viki called and let me know you wanted to see me."

Tom pulled back and wiped his eyes with his left hand. "Do you think I'm a baby?"

"No! Not at all, I think you're a very brave and talented young man."

Tom's tears were replaced with a smile "I'm gonna get Rollerblades. Doctor Hanen said so."

"Wow! Rollerblades!" Téa replied. She looked at Susannah.

"I told Tom when he and Todd's body are both a little stronger we might consider getting him a pair," Susannah confirmed.

"Hey, Tom. That's great. I have a pair at home. Maybe we can take on these hallways together?" Kevin suggested.

"Whatever," Tom mumbled. He did not looking up at Kevin.

Kevin looked at Sam and Viki. He wondered if he had somehow upset Tom without realizing it.

"Ooooh, I think that would really be great. Hmmm? Tom, you and Kevin skating down the hallway." Téa stated. She sat on the bed, next to Tom.

"Téa, do you ever skate? I forgot," Tom asked. He ignored Kevin.

"I used to, but it's been a long time," Téa confessed.

"I'll bet you were the best skater in the whole world. Maybe you can skate with me?" Tom asked timidly.

"I can try, but then I may end up here in the hospital with a broken leg," Téa joked.

"Noooo! Téa, I don't want you to get hurt. No! I'm sorry. You don't have to skate. I don't ever want you to get hurt again. Téa, I'm sorry!" Tom threw his arms around her.

"Tom. Hey, I was just kidding. I was making a joke. I won't get hurt if I skate with you." Tom began to cry again. Téa gently pulled him away from her so she could look him in the eye. She looked into his innocent tear stained face. "Tom, it's all right. I was just joking. I know you don't want me to get hurt."

"I wanted to help you. I saw one time you were all hurt and you couldn't walk good and you were real upset. I wanted to come out and make you feel better, but Todd was there. He made you feel better, so it was okay. Did your dad hurt you?"

Téa realized he was talking about the time she came home covered in bruises and cuts from falling through the window. Téa put her arm around him. "No, my dad didn't hurt me. I fell through a window."

"I'm sorry you were hurt, but I'm glad your dad didn't hurt you. Todd was so sad when you were hurt. He was real scared too. He was afraid you were gonna die and go away forever. I heard him praying and Todd don't pray a lot. My mom says we should always say our prayers, but Todd forgets all the time. Todd started to promise God he'd be good and he would . . .” Tom tried to think of the word Todd had used. "Oh, yeah. He would cherish you." Tom smiled at his ability to remember.

"Todd said that?" Téa inquired. She felt she was somehow invading Todd's privacy by doing so.

"Todd was all scared inside and he didn't know what to do. He held on real hard, so he shouldn't go away. Like he did when Starr was sick. He wanted to be real strong for you. He was in the hospital waiting and he wanted to make you better. 'Cept he stopped talking to God cause he knew he couldn't be good. He got real mad at himself. He didn't know he loved you before that and he wanted to be able to tell you. Then when you got better he chickened out."

Téa had always had shadowy memories of Todd standing by her bed and talking to her while she was in and out of consciousness. She did remember the relieved look on is face when she woke up. 'He wanted to be able to tell me he loved me', Téa thought.

"I'm not chicken. I love you a whole bunch, Téa." Tom looked her straight in the eyes as he said that.

Téa hugged him tightly and told him, "I love you a whole bunch too."

"Can we have the pizza now? I'm hungry," Tom asked shyly.

Téa smiled at this sweet child. He was totally incapable of guile. "Sure, I'm hungry too," Téa informed him. She was as happy as everyone else that he was hungry.

"I heard you like chocolate milk. How about I go to the pantry and get you some?" Kevin offered.

Tom shrugged and answered, "Okay."

"Kevin, bring some paper plates and napkins back too," Téa called.

"Yes, ma'am," Kevin kidded and patted Téa on the shoulder. They didn't notice Tom staring up at them.

Kevin handed the plates to Téa. She started handing out pizza to everyone. Kevin adjusted the table over Tom's bed and placed the cup of chocolate milk and a napkin on it. Téa handed Kevin a slice of pizza for himself and one for Tom. "Hey, buddy. Can you manage with just your left hand or would you like me to help you with the pizza?" Kevin asked.

"I can do it. I'm not a baby!" Tom's tone told them he was upset.

"I know you're not a baby. I'm sorry. It just one time both my hands were hurt really, really bad and I remember how hard it was to eat."

"I'm sorry your hands got hurt," Tom mumbled.

"Thanks. It was a long time ago and they're all better."

"Doctor Hanen says my hand will be better soon and Coach is gonna help me play my video games."

"That's great! I can help you too if you want?" Kevin offered.

"No, Coach will."

Kevin could not seem to make headway with Tom.

Tom had some trouble using only his left hand. Finally Viki suggested cutting the pizza into small bite size pieces for him. Téa noticed Tom looked forlorn and embarrassed at that suggestion. "Viki," Téa called. She held out her plate. "That sounds like a really fun way to eat pizza. Will you please cut up mine the same way?" As Viki took Téa's plate from her, she smiled at Téa and gave her a small wink. Viki understood Téa did that for Tom's benefit, so he should not feel odd or embarrassed.

Téa and Kevin were not as used to being around Tom as Sam, Viki, Susannah and the staff were. They noticed that Tom was very methodical about eating. Téa remembered how Tom was with the art supplies. This was much the same. Tom seemed to have a system . . . a small bite of pizza, a sip of milk and he would then wipe his fingers on the napkin. He never varied the order and always made sure to place everything back in the exact spot he lifted it from. They noticed he kept looking down at his shirt to make sure nothing had spilled on it. His hand shook slightly when he lifted the milk. He looked nervous as he drank it. No one said anything to him. They let him eat in peace.

Now that Todd's body no longer required an IV, the hep lock was removed from his arm. Most of his meds were administered through the feeding tube. Since he was eating now, his feeding would be postponed for a while. Todd's stomach could not hold much at one time anymore.

"Would you like another slice or some more milk, sweetheart?" Viki asked. Tom shook his head. He had finished all the milk and most of the pizza.

"I saw some pretty good cookies in the pantry. Would you like some Oreos or chocolate chip cookies?" Kevin tried to tempt him.

"Téa likes Oreos. Right Téa?" Tom remembered.

"That's right. I remember you gave me some for a present last time." Tom grinned. He realized that Téa also remembered.

"Okay, then. I shall return with Oreos." Kevin headed for the pantry again.

"No! I wanna go and get them for Téa!"

"Honey, I want you to stay in bed. Todd's body is very tired. Kevin can bring the cookies," Susannah reminded him.

"Please! I'll come right back. It's my present and I want to bring them to Téa, not Kevin!"

Susannah realized it was important to Tom that he be the one to get the cookies. Since walking to the pantry wouldn't really be harmful she relented. "All right, but Dave will walk with you. Then right back here. After you and Téa have your cookies you can get up and brush your teeth and wash up for bed."

"Téa, Doctor Hanen said I can bring you cookies," Tom exclaimed excitedly. Tom pulled the blanket from around his legs and quickly pushed them over the side of the bed.

"Slowly! Tom, remember what I told you about not getting out of bed too quickly?" Susannah reminded him.

He looked at Susannah quizzically. Then it came to him. "Oh, yeah. Okay." He slowed down and waited about thirty seconds. "Can I go now?"

"Do you feel dizzy?" Susannah inquired.

"Nope."

"Okay, honey, let's go." Susannah held her hand out to him. He took it. She walked him to the door. Dave was sitting in a chair right outside the room. "Dave, will you please walk Tom to the pantry so he can bring back some cookies."

"Sure." Dave agreed and smiled. "How’re you doing, Tom? I haven't seen you for a while."

Tom filled Dave in on all his "news" on the way to and from the pantry. He seemed talkative to everyone, except Kevin.

*****

"Did I do something to upset him?" Kevin asked as soon as Tom was out of earshot.

"No, honey. I don't think so," Viki responded.

"Is it me or does he seem upset with me?" Kevin pressed.

"Kevin is right. Tom is not acting himself around him," Téa agreed.

"Kevin, I don't think it's anything that you did here tonight. Tom was acting funny ever since he heard you were coming here with Téa," Sam told him honestly.

"Susannah, did I hurt his feelings in some way? Could he be upset because of the way I abandoned Timmy?"

"It's possible. Tom and Timmy are close. I don't think that's it though."

"He'll come around, honey. He's just not used to being around you," Viki assured him.

"I hope so," Kevin stated. He realized he really meant it. For some reason it was important to him that Tom like him. He let it go for now. He walked over to Téa. "Téa Delgado on Rollerblades. That I would like to see. Are you really going to skate with him?" Kevin joked.

"I'll have you know I'm quite athletic, Buchanan. I was an only girl with lots of brothers. I learned to be pretty tough."

"Whoa! I can see it now. In this corner the lightweight champion of the world, Téa Delgado!" Kevin cracked.

"I can probably flatten you, Buchanan," Tea kidded back. Téa and Kevin were both laughing. They didn't see that Tom was back and standing in the doorway.

Susannah saw him. He had a bag of Oreos nestled in his left arm and he was holding a single white rose in his hand. His head was hung down. "Hi, honey. What have you got there?" Susannah asked.

Tom shrugged. He continued to look toward the floor.

Téa walked over to him. "That's a beautiful rose, where did you get that?"

"Connie," he muttered. Without looking at her.

Dave filled them in. "Today is Connie's anniversary and her husband sent her a dozen roses. She asked Tom about the cookies and he said they were a present for Téa. She noticed he was looking at the flowers. She asked him if he would like to give one to Téa."

"I remembered to say thank you," Tom mumbled.

"I'm sure you did, honey. You are always very polite," Susannah pointed out.

Tom had not lifted his head or looked at anyone. "Here." He handed the flower to Téa, without lifting his head. He just stole a quick glance at her.

Téa smelled the rose. She moved closer to Tom. She lifted his face to her. "Tom, the flower is beautiful. I love it. Thank you so much. It is the best flower I have ever gotten."

"You don't have to say that," Tom declared. His eyes filled with tears.

"I'm not. I love it and I love that you brought me my favorite cookies. Can I have some?" Tom handed Téa the bag. "Come. Let's go have some," Téa suggested.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Tom muttered despondently. He turned to Susannah, "Can I brush my teeth and wash up and go to bed now?"

"Sure honey," Susannah agreed. She walked up to him and put her arm around his shoulder. "Dave will help you, okay?"

"Whatever," Tom answered, sadly.

*****

After Dave had taken Tom into the bathroom a horrifying thought came to Téa. "Do you think he thought we were laughing at him?" she whispered to Kevin.

"Oh damn! I hope not. He was upset enough with me to begin with," Kevin whispered back.

"Well, it definitely seemed as if his feelings were hurt," Téa added. She walked over to Susannah and told her what she was thinking. "Do you think I should bring it up when he comes out?" Téa asked Susannah.

"No, not unless he does. Todd's body has been through a lot today. That may be why Tom is upset tonight. He's exhausted and his threshold for frustration is very low right now, as is his ability to tolerate stress. He may also be feeling a little confused. I do think he has some kind of problem with Kevin. Unless he brings it up, I want to let it go for tonight. I'm going have Connie come in and administer his sleep meds through the NG tube. I want him to get some rest."

Tom came out of the bathroom in his pajamas. He looked as dejected as he did when he went in. Téa walked over to him. "Would you like me to tuck you in?" Tom really wanted her to, but he just shrugged. He didn't want her to do it if she really didn't want to. Sensing his feelings, Téa put her arm around his shoulders. "I would really like to, if it's all right with you?" Tom nodded.

"Why don't I go down and bring the car to the front of the hospital?" Kevin suggested. He felt totally useless there.

"Okay. I'll be down in a little while," Téa called out to him. Téa felt Tom's shoulders stiffen. She tucked him in. After she had pulled the covers up around him, she asked him if he wanted a story.

"No. That's okay. Kevin's waiting for you."

"Kevin isn't in a rush. He can wait while I tell you a story. Would you like me to tell or read you a story?" Téa offered again. Tom shook his head. Téa took a different direction. "Would you like me to come see you tomorrow? I can bring you something special for breakfast if you like?"

"Do you really want to come see me tomorrow?" Tom looked as if he were about to start crying.

"Oh, Tom. Of course I do. I love visiting you. Maybe we can go to the art room? You draw so well. I would like it if you showed me how to draw better."

"You really think I draw good?" Tom had tears in his eyes.

"Yes I do. You are very talented. I love looking at your drawings," Téa admitted honestly.

"I teach Timmy how to draw better. I'm a good teacher. I never get mad and yell if he don't do it good and I'll show him a whole bunch of times if he can't do it and I don't call him names."

"It sounds like you're a very good teacher. I am really looking forward to tomorrow." Téa smiled and stroked his head.

Tom's mood seemed to be improving a little. He looked at his watch. "How long before tomorrow?"

"Well, let's see. What time is it now?" Téa inquired.

Tom pressed the button on his watch. They heard the voice say, "seven fifty-three PM."

"It's at night cause my watch says PM." Tom held up his wrist up and pressed the button again to make sure Téa heard it too. The voice saying "AM" or "PM" seemed to be the only way Tom really understood the difference between day and night.

"Then it's about twelve hours until I come back tomorrow," Téa answered.

"TWELVE HOURS! That's forever!" Tom cried out.

"No Boomer. It's not that long," Sam interrupted when he saw Tom was getting upset. "You'll be asleep for most of it. Before you know it, Téa will be back."

Tom looked confused. "If I sleep real fast will Téa come back quicker?"

They all tried not to laugh because Tom was so serious. "No, honey. It doesn't work that way," Susannah stated gently. "You'll see. Tomorrow will get here very quickly," Susannah assured him.

"I'm gonna go to sleep right now," Tom announced. He wanted to get a head start on things.

Téa kissed him goodnight. She then said goodnight to Sam, Viki and Susannah. Carl was sitting at the door as she walked out. She said her goodnights to him as well. She stopped at the nurses station to thank Connie for the flower and wish her a happy anniversary.

"You are very welcome Téa. You should have seen how excited Tom was when he realized he could have one to give to you," Connie filled Téa in.

Téa smiled to herself. Then her smile faded. She was sorry that Tom walked in while she and Kevin were laughing together. She knew that had spoiled Tom’s surprise. Téa wanted to make sure to thank Tom for the flower again tomorrow and tell him how much she loved him.

Tom was still tossing and turning when Connie came in with his evening meds and his feeding. He was trying, too hard, to fall asleep and his weary body wouldn't cooperate. He became anxious when Connie came to flush his feeding tube before she administered the supplement and the medications. Sam was staying with Tom tonight. Susannah insisted, since all was relatively calm, that Viki go home and get a good night's sleep since she had a session the next morning.

"It's all right, Boomer. You know this doesn't hurt." Sam comforted him. He sat on the bed, next to Tom. He pulled Tom over until he was resting against him. Then Sam put his arms around him.

"Tom, you're just going to feel a small vibration in your throat when I do this. It feels more like a tickle. You've had this before, hon. It didn't hurt," Connie assured him. She spoke soothingly to him while she worked. "Okay, Tom. I'm going to start the feeding now."

On Susannah's orders she mentioned nothing to him about the medication she was administering. Most of the child alters still became terrified at being given meds. Even when they were administered via the feeding tube and there was no shot involved or anything that tasted bad. It was not as important for them to be aware of their medications, as it eventually would be for Todd. For now, Todd was not able to be responsible for taking his medication. He was still not at the point where their importance could be discussed with him. Susannah knew the time to have medication sessions with him had to come well in advance of his discharge. When the day came that he was stable enough to become an outpatient, he would have to be willing to take his medications on his own. He would most likely still be on an antidepressant, the neuroleptic and the Procrit. If he did not agree to take it willingly, on his own, that would be a problem.

Once he realized that it really wasn't hurting, Tom relaxed against Sam. After a while the meds kicked in and Tom started to get sleepy. Sam carefully lowered him to the pillow. "Coach?" Tom's sleepy voice called out to Sam.

"What Boomer?" Sam stroked Tom's head.

"Is Kevin Téa's boyfriend?"

"Téa's boy . . . no. Boomer, what makes you think that? Téa is married to Todd."

"I know. I thought maybe she's mad at Todd so Kevin's her boyfriend now." Tom's speech was starting to slur.

"No, Boomer. Kevin is not Téa's boyfriend. He came here with her tonight to see you. Don't you worry about that. Téa loves you very much."

"Okay." Tom was too sleepy to really comprehend what Sam was saying. "I love you, Coach," Tom whispered and closed his eyes.

"I love you too, Boomer." Sam kissed Tom's forehead. 'So was that it? Was he upset because he thought Kevin was Téa's boyfriend?' Sam thought to himself.

*****

Bill was waiting for Susannah in her office when she returned. "You look refreshed," she commented. Susannah suddenly became aware of the toll this long day had taken on her outfit and probably on her face.

"And you look beautiful." Susannah could see from the light in Bill's eyes, as he looked into hers, that he meant it. "Are you hungry? Do you still want to go to Mario's?" Bill asked.

"Funny, but I'm starving. I really shouldn't be because I've already had a jump start on Mario's." Susannah told him about Tom coming out and Téa bringing a pizza from Mario's for him. She also told him about Rodd and then the memory that Todd had before he switched to Tom. Bill could see that Susannah was feeling good about the day’s events. He smiled when he heard about Rodd. He was happy that there was a part of Todd, other than The Baby, who was at peace. He was glad that Rodd could enjoy life in a mature way.

Bill and Susannah sat in a booth in the back room at Mario's. Bill noticed how the candle on the red-checkered tablecloth made Susannah's face even lovelier than usual. They shared a bottle of wine and sampled each other's dinners. Susannah felt the tension drain from her body. She had not realized how tight her muscles had been. "Have you spoken to Sam and Viki about Michelle's parents yet?" Bill inquired.

"No. There was no real opportunity to. I want to make sure to do it when there is plenty of time to explain things properly. They also had a lot to handle today. I hope to get the chance tomorrow. I have a session with Viki and maybe after that I can get her and Sam alone for a while."

Bill reached for Susannah's hands. He turned them palm up. "You certainly keep them full. Do your patients and their families have any idea how lucky they are to have you on the case?"

Susannah smiled. "I make sure to let them know when they get my bill," she joked. Then in a more serious tone, Susannah said. "So far, Todd and his family haven't had much to feel encouraged about. I do think things may be looking up a little."

Bill was happy to hear that. "So, you're hoping that it will be all progress with Todd from now on?"

"Unfortunately, I know better than to hope for that. In most cases of severe abuse there is a pattern of pace and regression. There are always setbacks. Todd will remember something and seem to be improving and then take twenty steps backward. It is usually the way it is in most cases." Susannah sighed deeply. "Like most other things about Todd's case, it seems to happen in extremes."

"Wouldn't getting through the memory he had today be encouraging and show him that he is strong enough to get through others?" Bill posed.

"No, not in the way you mean. In the long run it will be encouraging. Right afterward he is usually totally overwhelmed by the feelings the memories cause. He needs to dissociate in some way, either by switching or by putting himself into a trance state."

"It has to be so frustrating for his family. They must get their hopes up and then have them dashed when he has setbacks."

"They understand that it will probably happen and they understand why it happens. Sadly, they can't help but hope it will be different. They hope that this time he will only take steps forward and none backward."

"I have a feeling they are not the only ones who hope that," Bill surmised.

Susannah could never get over how well he knew her. "Yes," she confessed. "I should know better. Nevertheless, I also hope that this time the pattern will be broken and there will be no setbacks at least not major ones."

They spent the rest of the evening talking about the kind of place Bill was hoping to find. Susannah was surprised to find out that he loved to cook. "That is great, because cooking is definitely not one of my talents. My grandmother was a great cook, but my mom can't cook a good meal to save her life. Perhaps being a good cook skips a couple of generations," Susannah theorized."

Bill laughed. "Well with me around you won't starve."

"So I take it you need a place with a large, well equipped kitchen?" Susannah guessed.

"Oh yes. That is a definite must. It would be nice if it had plenty of room and a big yard for my kids and their dog. I know if they are away from Chicago for any length of time they'll want to bring Patches. That reminds me. I read an article on the plane. It was about a program that brought pets into hospitals and nursing homes. They mentioned mental health patients. I was wondering if a visit from a cat or dog or even a bird might be helpful to Todd or the alters?"

Susannah was touched that Bill often thought about Todd and the children. "I do know about such programs and I have thought about it. It might be helpful. The only problem I can foresee is memories of the dog that Peter killed being brought forth by holding a pet again. There also might be a problem of attachment, for Todd and for the animal. The pet could only come and visit. I think Larry Wolek would give me permission for that, but it couldn't stay there full time. I am glad you brought it up again. I haven't thought about it for a while. Maybe it's time to give it some more thought?"

Bill and Susannah made plans to look at houses for rent on Saturday, if she were able. He understood that Todd was not just a Monday through Friday job. Susannah called the unit nurses station and was told that all was well and Tom had been medicated and fed and was sound asleep. Susannah was relieved she didn't have to go back to the hospital tonight. She looked at her watch. It was ten thirty. "The Blockbuster near my apartment is open until midnight. Would you like to come over? We could rent a movie and get some popcorn," Susannah suggested

"Now that's an idea," Bill responded with a smile. They headed for the video store. They rented "You've Got Mail," as neither of them had seen it. Susannah also rented the original Star Wars movie for Tom, should he be out tomorrow. They headed for Susannah's apartment.

Susannah got some sodas while Bill made the popcorn. When it was done they both headed for the couch and kicked their shoes off. Susannah liked that Bill was starting to feel at home in her apartment. Before Susannah realized she was doing it, she had snuggled in Bill's arms as they watched Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks converse on their computers. Bill asked Susannah if she wanted any more popcorn. When she didn't answer he looked down and saw that she had fallen asleep. Bill knew how exhausted Susannah was. He was happy that there had been no crisis with Todd tonight. She needed to rest. He reached for the Afghan she kept over the back of the couch and carefully covered her with it. He looked down at Susannah's sleeping face. He smiled as he acknowledged the feelings he had for her. Bill gently brushed her hair to the side and kissed her forehead. He leaned back against the back of the couch, careful not to disturb Susannah. He continued to watch the movie. Soon, he too fell asleep.

Susannah was the first to awaken. She saw the sun streaming through the curtains. It took her a minute to get her bearings. She felt Bill's arm around her and looked up at him. She realized she had spent the night in his arms. At first she felt some embarrassment at having fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. Then she took a long look at Bill. He had a small smile on his face as he slept. She knew he was as happy to have spent the night holding her as she was to have been held. She snuggled in his arms for a few more minutes, just to enjoy the feeling. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Susannah could tell from the way the sun was shining that it was very early in the morning. She looked at her watch. Sure enough, it was only five after six. Apparently, she had not been called or beeped so there was no problem with Todd. Susannah debated whether or not to awaken Bill and tell him she was going to shower and change or to let him sleep. She opted for the latter.

As Susannah massaged shampoo into her hair she kept remembering what it felt like to wake up in Bill's arms. It was definitely something she could get used to. She hoped Bill would be able to join her for some breakfast on the way to the hospital. Susannah towel dried her hair and threw her robe on. She headed to wake Bill up. As soon as she stepped out of the bathroom she smelled the wonderful aroma of coffee being brewed and something she didn't recognize that smelled just as good. Susannah saw that the couch was empty and the Afghan had been neatly folded and put back in its place. She followed the aroma into the kitchen.

"Ah! Welcome to the day, Doctor Hanen. We really need to do some serious grocery shopping if I'm going to be visiting more often."

Susannah smiled. She walked over to the kitchen table. Somehow, out of the sparse amount of food Susannah kept, Bill had managed to turn out a home cooked breakfast. Bill pulled out a chair for her. She sat down and stared at her plate in amazement. The omelet that sat on it looked and smelled delicious. "How did you do this? I mean where did it all come from? I had nothing here."

"You had eggs. I improvised the rest," Bill answered and poured coffee into his cup and hers.

Susannah tasted the omelet. It was fantastic. "Mmmm, oh Commissioner Jackson. You are definitely a keeper."

"I was hoping one of my famous omelets would cinch the deal," Bill, only half jokingly, admitted. Susannah laughed. Over breakfast, they made some tentative plans for the weekend, including a long overdue trip to the supermarket. "You'd better be careful here, Susannah, you may start to like coming home at the end of the day."

Susannah paused for a moment. 'My God!' she thought. 'He's right.' Susannah had never thought of any place she lived, since she left home for college, as anything more than a place to wash, change and sleep in. That was the difference. When Bill was there, her small apartment felt like a home. It felt like someplace she wanted to come back to at the end of the day.

They finished breakfast. While Bill took his shower, Susannah dressed and remembered to put the Star Wars video in her bag. They would take her car back to the hospital so Bill could pick up his. She hoped Viki had gotten a good night's sleep. She knew how draining facing her own demons on top of Todd's was for Viki. Susannah wondered about Sam, Téa, Blair and Kevin too. She was thinking of approaching the idea of a family session with all of them, if they were willing. She hoped, eventually, Todd would be able to participate as well. Susannah knew that right now, he could never handle that. Susannah stopped. She didn't want to get to far ahead of herself. Todd was strictly a "take it one day at a time" patient. That was part of the challenge of treating him. The only thing Susannah could usually predict about Todd was his unpredictability. In many ways he did not follow the path her other DID patients followed. His body did not react to medication in a predictable way. Todd was a challenge all right. He was the challenge of her life.

*****

Tom slept through the night. Often, the medication kept the nightmares he was prone to at bay. He was still asleep when Viki came back, at eight. Sam had been thinking about what Tom had asked. Sam hated to think it, however he also noticed more of a closeness between Kevin and Téa. He wondered if it had been his imagination that Kevin seemed a little jealous over Rodd. He was sure there was nothing to it on Téa's end, but he was becoming a little concerned over Kevin. He understood both Kevin and Téa had been through a lot with Todd. They both had feelings of helplessness and guilt to contend with and he knew they each had their own baggage. He could understand them "crying" on each other's shoulders. He also knew that most of the alters, especially Tom, were very perceptive and would sense anything amiss in an instant. He couldn't help shake the feeling that Tom's instincts were telling him something was not quite right. Sam did not want to discuss this with Viki, yet. He knew it would upset her. He would talk to Susannah about it first.

"Did he sleep through the night?" Viki whispered, after kissing Sam good morning.

"Yes. No nightmares. Not a whimper. He had some trouble falling asleep at first, because he was so tense. The sleep medication Connie gave him put him right out. We both had a good night's sleep," Sam whispered back.

"He could use the rest after the day he had yesterday," Viki remarked.

"Viki, he wasn't the only one. Did you get a good night's sleep?"

"I missed you, but I did sleep fairly well. I am well rested for my session with Susannah. Has she been here yet?"

"No, not yet. She may be in her office. I'm not sure," Sam responded. He stretched and said to Viki, "as long as you're here I'm going to go shower and change. Have you had breakfast?"

"No. I thought once Susannah and Téa came in and if Tom is okay, we could go have breakfast in the cafeteria."

"That's a great idea," Sam agreed. "Give me twenty minutes and I'm all yours."

"I may share you with Todd," Viki kidded and hugged him.

Tom was still sleeping when Susannah showed up at eight-twenty. "I hear he had a good night."

"Yes. No nightmares, thank God!" Viki confirmed. She looked at Susannah closely. "You look well rested too. I guess we all had a pretty good night." Susannah causally mentioned that she and Bill were watching a movie and she fell asleep and he stayed the night. Viki took Susannah's hands and smiled. "Are things getting serious for the two of you?"

"That depends on your definition of serious. They are serious enough for me to do grocery shopping this weekend," Susannah confessed. Both women laughed.

In a more serious tone, Viki asked, "Susannah . . . please tell me if I'm out of line here . . . if you and Bill are getting serious, don't you think you should tell Nora. She is your sister and she lives here in Llanview. Would you want her to hear it from someone else?"

Susannah had thought about that. She had pushed it out of her mind. She hadn't spoken to Nora in months. "Bo has probably told her about Bill. If she was really interested she would call me." Susannah's tone was slightly defensive.

"Maybe she is waiting for you to make the first move. Nora can be stubborn sometimes," Viki commented.

"Yeah. It runs in our family," Susannah replied. She did begin to wonder if the ball was in her court when it came to Nora.

"Susannah, I'm sorry if taking Todd on as a patient has caused a rift between you and Nora." Viki knew that Nora had never forgiven her sister for treating Todd.

"Viki, there has been a rift between Nora and me since we were both living at home. If it weren’t Todd, it would be something else. I'm sure if I introduced her to Bill she would find reasons why we aren't right for each other. I think it might be best to just let things be. She knows how to reach me if she should want to talk." They both turned when they heard Tom starting to wake up.

Tom yawned. He started at Viki and Susannah for a few moments. He was tying to orient himself. "Hi. Is it morning?" Tom asked in a confused, sleepy voice. Tom remembered to look at his watch. "I can't the button to push so good," he complained. He rubbed his eyes with his left hand. They could tell he was still groggy and his eyes were not fully focusing yet.

"Yes sweetheart. It's morning. It's eight-thirty," Viki oriented him to time.

"Has it been twelve hours yet?"

Viki and Susannah smiled. They knew he was eagerly awaiting Téa's visit. "Téa should be here any minute," Viki said. She hoped she was right.

"Where's Coach?"

"He getting showered and changed," Viki informed him.

Tom looked down at his pajamas. "Can I get washed and dressed now so I'll be ready when Téa comes?"

"You sure can. Frank is right outside. I'll get him for you," Susannah offered.

"Hi, buddy," Frank greeted Tom as he came into the room. "I hear you're eager to get going. Let's head for the bathroom. We need to wash your hair today."

"Do we have to? It's already twelve hours," Tom protested. Frank didn't know what he meant.

"Tom is expecting Téa and twelve hours is when she told him she'd be back," Viki explained.

"You want to be nice and clean when Téa gets here, don't you?" Frank pressed.

Tom shrugged. "I guess so."

"Okay, so let's get going and we'll try to make a quick job of it, okay?" Tom nodded and headed off to the bathroom with Frank.

Tom was more fidgety than usual. "Hey, buddy. Hold still. I don't want to get soap in your eyes." Even though they used a "no tears" shampoo for Todd and the alters, their eyes were still sensitive to it.

"Do you hear Téa yet?" This was about the seventh time Tom asked Frank that.

"No, but it's hard to hear with the water running. Let's get you rinsed off, dried and dressed and then we can brush your hair outside. This way if Téa is here or she comes you'll be the first know," Frank suggested to his squirming patient.

"Okay." Tom started to stand up.

"Whoa! Hold it Tom. Not yet. Let me finish rinsing you off." Frank smiled at Tom's excitement. Frank quickly and proficiently rinsed him down with the spray attachment and then instructing him to get up slowly. He helped him out of the tub. He had him dried off and dressed in record time. "There we go, bud, all clean and shining." Frank helped him back out into the room. Sam had come back. He and Viki were going to wait for Téa to come and then head out for that breakfast.

Tom immediately scanned the room for Téa. "Where's my watch!" He panicked when he looked at his bare left wrist.

"Right here, baby." Viki handed it to him from the top of the dresser.

"Honey, remember you took it off before you went into the bath?" Susannah reminded him.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Viki fastened it to his wrist. She noticed it was so big on him. The strap had been fastened to the last hole and yet it hung on his wrist. Todd's body was still skin and bones. Tom looked at it. He pressed the button and activated the voice. "Nine with an 'am' that means it's morning. Téa's not coming." Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Who says I'm not coming?" Téa called out as she walked in the door.

"Téa!" Tom ran up to her and threw his arms around her. She lifted the bag she was carrying in the air so he didn't crush it. "You really came to see me like you said you would."

Téa realized that for Todd, and most of the alters, someone's word didn't mean very much. How many times had their mother told them she loved them and would never leave them only to walk out on them forever? Someone actually being there for them was the only proof of a promise being kept that they believed.

"I'm sorry I was late, Tom. Remember I promised to bring you something special for breakfast? How do chocolate chip pancakes sound?" Téa rattled the bag slightly.

"I love chocolate chip pancakes! Todd would get them sometimes, but he would get them at night, when he couldn't sleep. He would go out and walk and go to this place and get chocolate chip pancakes. Then sometimes he would start to think about stuff and I got to come out and I really liked them."

Téa remembered all the times Todd would leave the house in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep. She was happy that sometimes he chose a better alternative to walking down by the docks or in the park in the middle of the night. Téa noticed Tom kept looking behind her, toward the doorway. "Tom, are you looking for something?"

"Is Kevin coming too?" he asked meekly.

"No. Kevin is probably at work."

They all noticed the relieved look on Tom's face.

"Tom we just have to get your hair brushed and then you can have your breakfast," Frank told him and went to get his brush from the drawer.

"I'm hungry. Can we brush my hair later?"

"'Fraid not, buddy. It'll dry tangled and then it will hurt to brush it out."

"I wanna start doing stuff with Téa. I never get any time to do what I want," Tom complained sullenly.

"What if the first thing we do together is brush your hair? I would like to brush if for you. If that's all right with you?" Téa asked.

Tom smiled a big smile. "Okay! Frank, can Téa brush my hair?"

"Sure she can," he answered and handed Téa the brush.

Tom sat on the bed and Téa gently ran the brush through his silky hair. She remembered how many times she had an urge to that to Todd after he would come out of the shower. He would usually just run his fingers through it a few times and be on his way.

"Téa, can I brush your hair sometime? It's real pretty. It looks like my mom's. Todd thought so too. He liked to look at your hair. He wanted to brush it too, but he was too chicken to say so. I felt bad for him. He always got real mad at himself because he would chicken out of saying what he really wanted to say. Our mom used to let us brush her hair. I always did a real good job."

Téa wondered if it was somehow inappropriate to agree to that. Yes, Todd was her husband. But Tom was just an innocent seven year old. Then she realized innocent was the way it was intended. He just wanted to recreate brushing his mother's hair. "Sure you can brush my hair sometime, if you like. I think that would be very nice." Téa continued to brush out his tangles. She thought about what Tom had just said. She remembered catching Todd staring at her hair sometimes. He used to joke that they had similar hair. Téa wondered how many other things Todd wanted to say to her, but felt too afraid or too embarrassed to mention.

When Téa got all the tangles out she smoothed his hair behind his ears. "There we go. All done. Now why don't we get to those pancakes before they get cold? I do have enough for everyone here. Sam, Viki, Doctor Hanen, would you care to join us?"

"Oh, no thank you, honey. Sam and I are going to the cafeteria for breakfast," Viki said quickly. She knew that Tom would probably like to be the center of Téa's attention.

"Doctor Hanen, would you like some pancakes or perhaps you Frank?" Téa called out to him.

"No, thanks. I'm fine," Frank called back.

"So am I. I've already eaten, but thank you," Susannah answered.

"Looks like you're stuck with just me," Téa kidded Tom.

"I love being with just you, Téa." Tom's openness and honesty touched Téa deeply.

Viki and Sam headed for the cafeteria. Susannah headed for her office to prepare for Viki session.

Téa and Tom headed for the dining area of the dayroom. Frank followed behind. "Let's sit at the table," Téa suggested. She pointed to the round table in the corner of the room.

Milk, chocolate milk and some cups of apple, orange, grape and pineapple juice had been put out on the table. "Téa, would you like some coffee?" Jeff asked.

"Yes, thank you. That would be great," Téa replied. She turned to Tom. "Would you like plain or chocolate milk?"

"Chocolate," Tom answered.

Téa opened a container of chocolate milk and poured it into a cup. She looked at the juice cups. "We have oran . . ."

"I can read them. I read good. Watch!" Tom wanted to show Téa he wasn't a baby or stupid and that he was a good reader. "Orange . . . apple . . . pineapple . . . grape." Tom pointed out each flavor as he read.

"That's great, Tom. You read very well," Téa complimented him.

Tom beamed. "I can read lot's of things. I read books to Timmy and I used to read to Andy. Miss Perkins says I'm a good reader."

"She's right. You certainly are," Téa agreed. "So, what flavor juice did you decide on?" she asked.

"Grape. I love grape juice."

"I do too. I'll also have grape," Téa announced. This got a huge smile from Tom. Jeff brought Téa a cup of coffee. She realized it had to be in a foam cup, as no hard plastic or glass was allowed. Téa placed a napkin on the table, in front of Tom. She placed a plastic fork on it. She did the same for herself. Now that the preliminaries were done, she took a Styrofoam container out of the bag and took the lid off of a portion of the still hot pancakes. She placed them in front of Tom. She did the same with her portion. Téa took some packets of syrup out of the bag. "Would you like some maple syrup on your pancakes?"

"Yeah! I like lots of syrup," Tom responded. He smiled at Téa.

"Me too." Téa smiled back and started to open several packets of syrup. She reached for another napkin and tucked it into the top of Tom's shirt. She remembered how nervous he was about spilling anything on himself. She tucked one in the top of her blouse as well, so he shouldn't feel like a baby. Tom poured three syrups on his pancakes. Téa noticed the tremor in his left hand seemed a little more pronounced. Tom drank some of his milk and then picked up the fork and tried to break off a bite size portion of the pancakes. Téa wanted to offer to help Tom. She didn't. Once again, she didn't want him to think she thought he was a baby. So she kept quiet, but it hurt her to watch him struggle with the plastic fork.

Tom managed to get some of the pancakes on to the fork and into his mouth. He immediately looked down at the napkin on shirt to make sure nothing had spilled on it. Once he saw that it was clean, he took a sip of juice. "They're real good, Téa. They're gonna be my favorite from now on."

"They are good. I think they'll be my favorite too," Téa told him. She brushed back the hair that fell in his face as he struggled with the fork.

Tom managed to get another forkful in his mouth. His tremor seemed to be getting worse. Téa was wondering if she should get Frank. Tears filled Tom's eyes as eating the food he was enjoying was becoming more difficult. Also, he didn't want Téa to think he wasn't grown up enough to eat by himself. Out of frustration, Tom pushed down, too hard, on the fork. It snapped, startling him and sending the Styrofoam plate with pancakes and syrup splashing all over him. Finally it landed on the floor. Tom froze for a moment. Téa saw a look of terror wash over him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Oh that's okay. We have plenty more pancakes and I'll just get you cleaned up and . . ."

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Tom started screaming. He was no longer able to hear Téa or even know she was in the room with him. Before she or anyone could stop him, Tom got down on all fours and started licking the syrup and pancakes up off the floor.

"Tom! Stop! FRANK!" Téa shouted. Frank, Jeff, Dan, Terry, Nancy, and Gwen were there in a second. Frank sat down in back of Tom and pulled him to him. With Tom held firmly against his chest, Frank made his way across the room until his back was leaning against the nearest wall. Tom's face, hair, hands and clothes were all covered with maple syrup and pancake crumbs. Despite this, the rest of the staff took their positions and held his limbs and head firmly in place. The six of them were enough. Todd's body was still weak and even at his strongest, Tom did not have much strength. Susannah was called.

"Okay, Tom. You need to calm down. You're in the dayroom at the hospital. Come on. You're safe here. Look around and see where you are." Frank spoke gently, yet firmly.

"I'm sorry." Tom was no longer screaming. His words were now coming out between huge sobs that choked Tom and made him gasp for breath between words. "I'm a clumsy bastard. I eat like an animal. So I have to eat on the floor just like an animal," Tom cried out. Tom kept trying to get back to the spilled food. "Noooo! Let go! If I don't lick it all up I'll be punished more. Did the glass break? I'll get cut with it if it broke. Noooo! Let go! Let go!"

Frank held him tightly and spoke soothingly to him. The sticky syrup was now mingled with the tears that were cascading down his cheeks. Tom was not struggling as fiercely. Gwen went to get some wet and dry washcloths. She came back with them and washed off Tom's hands and face as best she could. Then, without waiting for housekeeping to come, she wiped up most of the sticky mess off the floor, so no one would slip. Tom still had syrup and remnants of pancakes all over his clothes and hair.

Téa felt so helpless just standing there. She wanted to help him in some way. "Tom. It's Téa. Please. You are not clumsy. It was an accident. No one is going to punish you." Téa knelt down in front of him.

"Téa, please move away from him," Frank directed, for Téa's own safety. Téa started to get up, when she thought, 'no! I won't stand by and watch him suffer any longer.' Instinctively Téa knew she could calm him. "I'll be all right. Let me try to reach him," Téa told Frank. She looked at Tom as she spoke.

Tom was not struggling as he had been, but he was still struggling. He was not attempting to hurt anyone or himself. He wanted to finish the initial part of his punishment hoping to avoid the beating that inevitably followed.

Téa took his still sticky face in her hands. "Tom, it's Téa. Come on. Look at me. Please let go of him," Téa requested firmly.

"I'm sorry, Téa. That wouldn't be safe, for you or him," Terry explained.

The little strength Tom had was dissipating. His struggling decreased even further. His cries had turned to whimpers.

"He'll be safe! Please let me hold him," Téa insisted.

"It's all right. Let Téa hold him."

Téa looked up and saw Susannah standing in the doorway. Susannah could see that he was calm enough for them to release him. She told Jeff to send someone to the cafeteria for Sam and Viki. The staff slowly and cautiously let go. Tom crumbled to the floor.

Téa pulled him to her. She didn't care that the sticky mess was getting all over her. "Shhhh. It's all right. I won't let anyone hurt you." Téa spoke softly and soothingly to him.

"I was bad. I have to be punished. I was a clumsy bastard. I ate like an animal so now I have to lick it off the floor. It'll hurt more if I don't," Tom cried. Tom held onto Téa tightly.

"Your dad never should have punished you like that. Little children spill things all the time. Parents should never punish them that way," Téa stated tenderly.

"But I'm a clumsy bastard," he cried as fresh tears fell.

"No. No you're not. I promise you. You're not clumsy at all."

"I'm not?" he looked at Téa with desperate eyes that were filled with pain.

"No. Not at all. You should never have been punished for that."

"My dad was trying to discipline me. He loved me."

"Tom that's not how you show love to a little child." Téa tried to get him to understand.

"My dad loved me," he cried.

"Tom, you know Starr, right?" Téa posed.

He nodded and said, "I love Starr. She's my friend."

"I know she is. Starr loves you very much too," Téa confirmed. She rocked him gently and continued. "If Starr spilled something would you want to see her punished this way?"

"NO!" Tom was horrified at the idea of it. "I love Starr. I'd help her the way I help Timmy. I'd be punished instead."

"So, if you don't think Starr should be punished that way, why do you think a little boy like you should be punished that way?" Téa reasoned.

Tom's body started to relax in Téa's arms and then suddenly became tense again.

"No! No! Please! Don't let Starr be punished that way. Don't let him hurt her. Starr! Starr!" He reached out for Starr. They knew it was Todd. He had once again come back to find himself in Téa's arms.

TO BE CONTINUED

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