*****

Timmy was still sleeping fitfully when Kevin and Tea arrived at the hospital. Sam, Susannah and Viki were talking quietly outside of Timmy's room when they saw Tea and Kevin waiting to be buzzed onto the unit. They all felt immense relief at the sight of Kevin. Viki could see by his wrinkled appearance that all was not well with her son. However, she was very grateful that Tea had figured out how to locate him. Kevin rushed over to where everyone stood. "How is he?"

"Right now he's sleeping. Dave is with him," Viki replied.

Kevin looked his mother in the eye. "Mom, I'm sorry. I promised him I would always be there when he needed me and I broke that promise."

Viki knew the reason Kevin had not been coming around was because he had been wrestling with his own demons. Still, she found herself feeling anger toward him for putting his own needs before Timmy's. Viki looked into her son's eyes. She could see the pain that kept him away. "You're here now. He needed you and you came. That's what counts," Viki pointed out and hugged Kevin.

Susannah took Tea aside. "Thank you. I am very relieved that you were able to find Kevin. I was becoming very concerned with Timmy's condition."

They all headed in to see Timmy.

"He's been crying and whimpering in his sleep," Dave informed them.

Kevin looked down at Timmy. He was lying curled up on his right side. He looked at Timmy's soft, young face. Even in sleep, it was tearstained. Kevin knelt down so he was eye level with Timmy. He gently stroked Timmy's head. Timmy's eyes fluttered open. "Hey buddy. I heard my bestest friend in the whole world wasn't feeling so good." Timmy stared at Kevin. It was as if he couldn't believe Kevin was actually there or he thought he was dreaming. "I missed you buddy," Kevin said softly.

"Kevin? Are you really here?" Timmy whimpered.

"Oh yes!" Kevin lifted Timmy to him. "I'm really here. I'm sorry I haven't been in to see you. I wasn't feeling right," Kevin explained. Tea had told him what they had been telling Timmy and also because it was true.

"Daddy told me you were on the weather," Timmy whispered.

Kevin smiled and hugged Timmy a little tighter. "Yeah Timmy. I was, but no more. I'm here for as long as you want me to be."

Timmy put his arms around Kevin's neck and rested his head on Kevin's shoulder. "Do you still like me?"

Kevin gently pulled back from the hug so he could look Timmy in the eye. "I love you Timmy. I love you more than anything."

"This much?" Timmy held his arms as wide apart as he could.

"Even more than that," Kevin answered.

"Am I still your bestest friend?" Timmy's chin quivered as he asked that.

"The very bestest in the whole world," Kevin assured him.

"I thought you went away forever," Timmy admitted.

"Never!" Kevin promised. He stroked Timmy's hair out of his face.

"Pinkie promise?" Timmy held out his little finger.

Kevin intertwined his pinkie around Timmy's. "Pinkie promise," Kevin said. He hugged Timmy to him again. He heard Timmy moan slightly. He pulled back. "I'm sorry, buddy. They told me you had stitches."

"I like your hug more than the stitches hurt," Timmy informed Kevin and continued holding on to him. After a while Kevin felt Timmy's body relax in his arms. He moved to rest Timmy against the pillows. Timmy clung to him tightly. "No! Don't go away Kevin!" Timmy was panicking.

"I'm not going anywhere, buddy. I thought you'd be more comfortable leaning back in your bed."

Timmy began to cry. "You promise you won't go away?"

Kevin realized it would take more than a pinkie promise to give Timmy a feeling of security. He knew that it would be his actions and not his words that Timmy would learn to trust. His actions had already betrayed his words and now he would have to prove himself to Timmy all over again. "I'm sorry I stayed away so long Timmy. I know it frightened you and you thought I wasn't coming back. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I want you to know it's safe for you to believe that I will never go away forever. I will always love you and you will always be my bestest friend in the whole world. Always."

Timmy finally relaxed his hold on Kevin and leaned back against the pillow. He looked up at Sam and Viki who were standing by the bed, opposite from where Kevin knelt. Timmy smiled a huge smile. "Daddy. Mommy. Kevin still loves me. He's still my bestest friend."

"Yes he is, baby," Viki confirmed. She stroked Timmy's cheek.

Timmy had so much to tell Kevin. He told him all about his stitches. He showed him how he could count in Spanish. He told him the Moose story Tea told him and that Blair and Auntie Dorian visited him. Kevin was a little taken back by the latter.

Susannah checked Timmy. He seemed to have just bloomed. "Sweetie, will you drink some juice so we can take off the IV and just leave the hep lock?" Susannah asked him.

"Can Kevin have some too?"

"I would love some juice," Kevin agreed.

"I'll go get it," Tea volunteered.

"No!" Timmy cried out.

"What is it, angelito? Didn't you say you wanted juice?"

"I don't want you to go away again," Timmy whined. It wasn't like him to do that.

"That's all right. I'll go get it," Viki offered.

"No! Mommy, not you either. I don't want nobody to go away." Timmy commanded firmly. This too was not a tone he had used before.

Susannah was afraid this was going to be a problem. Timmy was becoming overly anxious about anyone being out of his sight. "Sweetie," Susannah began. She sat next to him on the bed. "It's okay for people to go away for a little while. It doesn't mean they won't come back. You see that Kevin didn't really go away forever. He just went away for a little while and then he came back. So did Tea and daddy and mommy. Now, let Tea or mommy go get you your juice."

"NO!" Timmy shouted. They were shocked. No one had ever heard him raise his voice to anyone before. Susannah didn't want to press the issue right now. Timmy was just coming out of a major depressive episode. Susannah called Connie in and asked her to bring in two pineapple juices.

In his usual sweet tempered tone Timmy looked at Susannah and asked, "Can I get out of bed and go to the playroom?"

"Sure sweetie," Susannah immediately responded. She wanted Timmy up and around. Susannah had him dangle his legs over the side of the bed for a few minutes. He showed no signs of dizziness. Susannah and Kevin helped him stand up. They put his heavy robe on him.

When Timmy realized that Viki, Sam and Tea were going to stay behind in his room while he, Kevin and Susannah went to the playroom he balked. "I want you to come too!" Timmy's tone was more demanding than asking.

"Timmy. Mommy, daddy and Tea will be waiting here for you. Kevin and I will go to the playroom with you," Susannah said firmly.

"NO! I want them to come too."

Kevin looked at Susannah. He put his arm around Timmy's shoulder. "Hey, buddy. It will be too crowded to play if everyone goes to the playroom. Besides, I want you all to myself. I haven't had a chance for me and my bestest friend to play together for a while."

Timmy looked confused. He burst into tears. "They'll go way. Tee went away for a long time and then you did. No one will be here when I come back," Timmy sobbed.

Kevin never saw Timmy act like this before. He realized the damage he had done.

"I promise, pal. We will all be here when you get back from the playroom," Sam assured him.

Viki walked over to him and took him in her arms. She wiped his tears away. "I promise you, sweetheart. We will wait right here for you."

"Tee too?" Timmy whispered.

"I will too. I'll be here," Tea promised. She was concerned about this sudden development.

They could see that Timmy was not one hundred percent convinced. Nevertheless, he and left for the playroom with Kevin and Susannah. Susannah noticed that Timmy took Kevin's hand and didn't let go until they got to the playroom. Then he would either lean against Kevin or snuggle up to him or take his hand the entire time. He would point out the new cars and stuffed animals that he wanted to play with and would take Kevin's hand so they could walk over to them together. Timmy seemed happy and excited to have Kevin there to play with, but he would not stop clinging to him. Susannah also noticed Timmy was having difficulty with his coordination. It was most noticeable when he and Kevin played with the toy cars. Susannah was hoping he was just becoming a little frustrated by not being able to use his right hand. That and the fact that he had to be in some kind of physical contact with Kevin made playing with the new toy dump truck difficult. She hoped Timmy's fine motor skills weren't becoming impaired.

Timmy was getting cranky. Susannah looked at her watch. It was almost dinnertime anyway. "Timmy. How would you like to have dinner with Kevin tonight?" Susannah inquired.

"Can we have alphabet spaghetti?" Timmy remembered the game.

"I think we can arrange that," Susannah answered. She was happy that Timmy was willing to eat.

"You and Tee and mommy and daddy too!" Timmy ordered.

"Sweetie, I'm not sure if everyone will want that and Tea might not be able to stay for dinner."

"You promised me Tee would be in my room when I get back." Timmy started to cry again.

"Hey, buddy. She will be. She just might not be able to stay for dinner," Kevin explained. He put his arm around Timmy.

"Then I don't wanna eat!" Timmy exclaimed sharply.

This was so unlike Timmy. Kevin was beginning to wonder if Timmy had switched and someone else who sounded and answered to Timmy had come out. "We'll see if Tea can stay?" Kevin tried reasoning with him.

Susannah did not want to encourage Timmy to use mealtime as a bargaining chip. She realized that he was terrified of being left and felt powerless to stop it. She understood he was using whatever means were available to him to try to prevent it from happening. Still, she did not want to reinforce this behavior. "Timmy, Kevin will eat with you whether or not Tea can. Now why don't we go back to your room and you can wash up for dinner. I'm sure that mommy and daddy will eat with you and Kevin."

"I want Tee and you to eat with me too. Kevin, will you show Doctor Hanen and Tee how to play the alphabet spaghetti game?"

Kevin looked at Susannah. Susannah nodded. She would allow Timmy to have this security for tonight. "Sure I will, if Tea can stay," Kevin promised. He held up Timmy's left hand and looked at it. It was grimy from playing on the floor. "Now let's get back to your room and get this hand washed. You need very clean hands to play alphabet spaghetti." Timmy smiled lovingly at Kevin and allowed him to help him up.

Timmy was apprehensive as he walked back to his room. He immediately took inventory and looked relieved that all his loved ones were present. "We're gonna play alphabet spaghetti for dinner," Timmy announced.

"Timmy would like it if all of you could stay and have dinner with him," Kevin informed them.

Sam and Viki both told him how much they would love that. Tea wanted to. Unfortunately, she had to meet a client in a little while. "Angelito, I would love to have dinner with you, but I have to go to work. Someone is waiting for me."

Tears formed in Timmy's eyes. "Nooo! Tee. Don't go 'way." Timmy walked over to Tea and put his head on her shoulder. Tea hugged him to her. She was thinking that perhaps she could still catch Mr. Rodriguez before he left to meet her.

"Timmy, Tea will come back again. She's left and come back several times in the past few days," Viki reminded him. She saw that Timmy had put Tea on the spot.

"Noooo! I don't want Tee to goooo," Timmy whined.

"Timmy, I thought it could just be the two of us tonight, kind of like a buddy's night," Kevin tried.

Timmy continued to hold on to Tea. "Maybe I can . . ."

Susannah cut Tea off. She had an idea what she was going to say. "Timmy. Tea has to go to work. Viki, Sam, Kevin and I will all have dinner with you. It's all right for Tea to leave. She will come back."

"I promise I will. I'll come to see you first thing tomorrow morning," Tea assured him.

Timmy let go of Tea. He went to the bed and picked up Mr. Rabbit and walked to the corner of the room with him. Timmy sat cross-legged on the floor. He rested his cheek against Mr. Rabbit's soft fur and started to suck his thumb. They all exchanged looks. This was so unlike Timmy. Susannah sat on the floor next to him. She gently took his thumb out of his mouth. "Can you tell me your name?"

Timmy was surprised by her question. "Timmy," he answered and then asked, "don't you know my name no more?"

"Sure I do sweetie. I just wanted to make sure it was you," Susannah responded honestly. Timmy put his thumb back in his mouth. "Timmy, do you remember mommy telling you Tea has come and gone a lot over the past few days?" Timmy nodded. "Do you also remember that Tea always comes back?"

"Uh-uh." Timmy shook his head. "Tee wants to go away forever. Kevin too. Everybody is mad at me." Tears started rolling down his cheeks again. Timmy raised his knees to his chest and buried his face in Mr. Rabbit.

Tea motioned Susannah over to where she stood. "I can try to cancel out with my client tonight," Tea whispered.

"No." Susannah instructed firmly. "I don't want you to do that. This situation Timmy is getting himself into is not healthy. I think it's best you say goodnight to him and leave."

Tea was surprised that Susannah did not want her to give in to Timmy considering all he had just been through. She really wanted to try to get out of her meeting and make Timmy happy. However she reasoned that Susannah knew best. Tea crouched down to where Timmy sat. He had Mr. Rabbit resting against his knees and his cheek was wresting on Mr. Rabbit's chubby tummy. Timmy was once again sucking his thumb and staring off into space. "Angelito, I'm going to leave for work now." Timmy didn't respond. Tea kissed his head and then stroked it. "I promise I will be back tomorrow morning. I will have breakfast with you if you like." Timmy still gave no response. Tea stood up. She felt horrible. She really wanted to stay. Viki and Sam walked her to the door.

"He'll be all right. Susannah seems to think it's best not to give in to his mood." Viki comforted Tea.

Tea patted both Sam and Viki on the arm and nodded good-bye to Kevin and Susannah. She tried one more time. "Goodnight angelito." Timmy continued to stare into space. Tea left.

As soon as he heard the door shut behind Tea, Timmy started screaming and crying for her. Tea turned to go back in. Dave who had been posted outside the door stopped her. "Tea, did Susannah want you to stay or did she think your leaving was best?"

"She thought it best I go to work as planned. Oh God! Listen to him!" Tea heard Timmy's shrieks.

"TEE! TEEEEE! DON'T BE MAD AT ME, TEE! DON'T GO AWAY. TEEEEE!"

Dave blocked Tea's way back into the room. "Susannah knows what she's doing. I know how painful it is for you to walk away from that, but if you go back in it may make the situation worse," Dave explained gently.

"I don't know why he's acting like this. He's suddenly terrified that we are all going to leave him."

"Most likely it has to do with his fear of abandonment because of the way his mother left him. Don't worry. We'll find out for sure. Tea, don't torture yourself like this. Just leave. He'll be all right. We'll take care of him." Dave felt compassion for her. He knew that Timmy's screams and cries were like a knife in her heart.

Reluctantly, Tea headed for the doors. She could hear Timmy's screams and cries all the way down the hall. She hesitated for a few moments. "Am I hurting you, angelito?" Tea said to herself. She then took the final steps to the doors and waited to be buzzed out. Once on the other side of the doors she could no longer physically hear Timmy screaming. She could still hear him in her head. Tears poured down her cheeks as she waited for the elevator. She was grateful it was empty when it came. Tea headed for her office. She was still not sure she was doing the right thing.

Timmy had gotten up and tried to get out the door to go after Tea. Kevin stopped him and held him tightly. He did not want to Timmy to have to be restrained. Timmy tried to get away and get to the door at first. Finally, he snuggled into Kevin's arms. Kevin slowly eased himself and Timmy down to the floor. Timmy continued to sob. He stayed snuggled in Kevin's arms. Slowly, his sobs turned to whimpers. His right cheek rested against Kevin's arm as he sat with his back to him. Timmy once again started to suck his thumb. He was regressing to the behavior of a child even younger than himself.

Susannah knew he was depressed and that may be causing some of this behavior. She was still very concerned. Viki and Sam looked to Susannah for some direction. Susannah started a conversation with them about a new CICU that was being funded by Asa Buchanan. She didn't want Timmy to feel all eyes were on him. After a while Susannah looked to where Kevin and Timmy sat. Timmy's tears and whimpers had stopped. He still sat in Kevin's arms with his cheek resting against Kevin's arm and he was still sucking his thumb. Now, he was rocking himself in a self-soothing fashion. Susannah knelt down to where they sat. "Timmy, are you ready to have your dinner?" He didn't respond. Susannah stroked his head. "Sweetie, look at me." Timmy stared off into space.

Kevin put his face close to Timmy's and whispered in his ear. "I think Doctor Hanen was really looking forward to learning how to play the alphabet spaghetti game."

Timmy looked up at Kevin. "Is Tee really coming back?"

"Timmy, I promise you she will. Tea wouldn't lie to you and neither would I."

"What if she gets mad at Todd or Tom? Then she won't come to see me again."

"That won't happen Timmy. I promise. Tea loves you very much. Did you know Tea is the one . . ." Kevin wasn't sure how to put it. "Tea is the one who helped me to feel well enough to come see you?"

"Tea made you feel better?" Timmy asked.

"She did. And you know what that means?" Kevin turned Timmy around so that they were facing each other. Timmy shook his head. "It means that Tea loves you more than anything."

Timmy smiled. He put his arms around Kevin's neck and hugged him. Kevin patted him on the back and announced, "I have a great idea. How about we get some alphabet spaghetti and we'll have teams. It'll be you and I, buddy, against Sam, Viki and Doctor Hanen. We'll see who can spell the most words and eat the most letters.

Timmy nodded eagerly. The dinner went smoothly. They all made sure that Timmy spelled the most words and they were happy that he ate nearly the entire bowl of pasta. They did notice that Timmy was having trouble spelling words he had previously learned. Kevin helped him and they found all the letters they needed for the words. While Viki was cleaning the sauce off Timmy's face and hand, Kevin made him a paper crown befitting a spelling champ. Timmy loved it and kept it on his head. Kevin explained that as the champ he gets a big dish of ice cream. Susannah did not want Timmy becoming upset by one of them leaving again. She asked Dave to ask someone to fill Timmy's bird dish with chocolate ice cream and bring it to Timmy. Since Timmy ate a full meal his evening feeding was held off. He would receive his dose of Zyprexa with his late night feeding. Susannah had changed his dosage and he was now receiving 5mg twice daily. Since Todd and possibly some of the alters were still experiencing psychotic episodes and since most of the alters were not experiencing severe side effects, Susannah was planning or changing the dosage to 7.5mg twice daily. She knew she might also have to change the Paxil. Todd and now Timmy, and from what Timmy said Andy, were still suffering greatly from depression. Susannah wondered if she would ever hit on the right combination of drugs. Between Todd and the alters finding the right meds for them was extremely difficult.

After Timmy finished his ice cream he and Kevin did some coloring and then put together a puzzle. They could all tell that Timmy was getting sleepy. "Time for you to wash up and brush your teeth and get to bed sweetie," Susannah called to him.

"Can Kevin help me tonight?"

"Sure I can buddy. Let's give Sam the night off," Kevin agreed. He placed his arm around Timmy's slight shoulders.

"Can I keep my spelling crown on?"

"Until you lie down. It will get crushed while you're sleeping, sweetheart," Viki explained.

Kevin helped Timmy in the bathroom. He then tucked him into bed.

"You'll be here while I'm sleeping? Promise?" Timmy pleaded. Kevin looked at his mother and Sam.

"Kevin can't stay here all night pal. Mommy and I will be here with you and you can see Kevin and Doctor Hanen tomorrow."

"Noooo!" Timmy was starting to whine again. "Kevin, don't go way."

"Baby. There's no place for Kevin to sleep. I promise you he will come back and see you tomorrow," Viki tried.

"Kevin can sleep next to me." Timmy moved all the way over to the side of the bed. "I'll squish myself real small so there'll be room," Timmy reasoned.

Kevin didn't know what to do. He would stay with Timmy, but he didn't know if that's what Susannah wanted. Sensing his dilemma, Susannah sat on the bed and said, "Timmy. You already have mommy and daddy staying here with you. Kevin needs to go home. He promised you he would come back tomorrow. I know it's hard to trust, but Kevin is telling the truth. You'll see sweetie. Kevin will be back in the morning."

"I don't wanna go to sleep. If I stay up Kevin won't go home." Timmy was adamant.

Sam tried. "Okay. Here's the deal pal. Kevin will stay until you fall asleep and then come back in the morning."

"No he won't! He'll go far away again. He won't come back and Tee won't come back." Timmy started to get out of bed. Kevin stopped him. "Kevin. I wanna stay up with you so you don't go way." Timmy held onto Kevin and started to cry again.

"Timmy. I know it seemed like I was far away, but I wasn't. I was at mommy's house and I thought about you every day. I had some problems and I couldn't come here to the hospital. I realize now that I handled those problems all wrong and I made a mistake. I promise you that will never happen again. I will be here tomorrow. I'll tell you what . . . why don't we plan right now what we'll have for breakfast and what we'll do after breakfast. I'll write it down so it's official."

"What's offisal?" Timmy asked as he wiped his eyes.

"That means you can never go back on it. We can write what we'll do tomorrow and I can officially promise that I will never leave you and always come when you need me. Hey, I know. Sam's a lawyer. He can give it a special seal. Then it's a promise that can't be broken, no matter what."

"Never! No matter what?" Timmy's eyes were wide. He even had a small smile on his face. Timmy turned to Sam. "Daddy, will you help us make an offisal promise?"

"You bet I will pal. Mommy and Doctor Hanen can be the witnesses."

"What's wipmasis?"

"That means they watch us make the official promise so it's extra protection that it can't be broken," Sam explained. Sam went to his briefcase and took out a yellow pad. "See Timmy. This is a legal pad. That makes it extra official."

Sam and Kevin made a big project out of writing out the promise. "Okay, pal. What would you like for your official breakfast tomorrow?" Sam inquired.

"Chicken fingers!" Timmy called out with glee.

They knew that Timmy was more interested in having Kevin tell him jokes than in the food.

"I know," Kevin suggested. "How about french toast sticks? I know some jokes about chickens who ate french toast sticks and I love french toast sticks."

"I love french toast sticks too," Timmy copied. He looked adoringly at Kevin. They all knew that Timmy would want to like anything that Kevin said he liked.

"All right then! We agree. I will put down french toast sticks as the official breakfast," Sam declared. He started to write.

They decided on coloring pictures in the Pooh coloring book, playing Candyland and playing with the cars in the playroom as their official after breakfast games. When everything was all written out, Kevin brought it to Timmy for him to sign. "Okay, buddy. You write your name right here." Kevin pointed to a blank line.

Susannah moved close to Timmy. She watched him carefully since he was holding a pen, something not usually allowed. Timmy had a little trouble using his left hand, so Kevin helped him. Timmy made a "T" then started to look sad and confused.

"What's the matter, baby?" Viki asked.

"I forgot how to write the rest of my name," Timmy admitted sadly.

Viki, Sam and Kevin didn't think much of it. Susannah did. This, in addition to his having difficulty spelling the simple words he had previously known how to spell, concerned Susannah. Timmy had always known how to write his name. Susannah wondered if something was starting to affect his cognitive skills.

Once they finished helping Timmy write his name out, Kevin signed the document. Viki and Susannah signed as witnesses. When that was done Sam took a notary seal out of his briefcase and put an official seal on it. "There we go pal . . . all signed sealed and delivered," Sam proclaimed. He handed the paper to Timmy.

Timmy reached for it uncertainly. "I can keep it?"

"You sure can. When you look at it you'll know that our promise to be together tomorrow can never be broken," Kevin explained.

Timmy clutched the paper against his chest. "Daddy, do you think Tee will do an offisal promise with me?"

"I think she will. We'll ask her tomorrow. Okay, pal?" Sam promised.

"I'll promise to be a real good boy if Tee promises not to go away forever," Timmy bargained

"Well, look at this. Timmy is learning the art of the deal. We'd better watch out. Soon he's going to own us lock stock and barrel," Kevin declared as he tickled Timmy's tummy. Timmy burst into giggles.

Sam noticed the love in Viki's eyes as she looked at her two boys. He knew how proud of both of them she was.

"Now, are you ready to be tucked in again?" Kevin asked. Timmy nodded. Kevin told him a story about a favorite cartoon he remembered from when he was little. He told him all about Yogi Bear and his little friend Boo Boo Bear. Timmy was hyper and it took three stories before he drifted off, still clutching his official promise to his chest. Kevin kissed him on the forehead and carefully extracted the paper from Timmy's grasp. He folded it and put it on the nightstand where Timmy could see it when he woke up.

Susannah headed for her office and then she planned on heading home. She told Sam and Viki she needed to talk to them about the latest developments with Timmy. She told them that it could wait until tomorrow.

Viki walked Kevin to the elevator. "I would have stayed overnight with him, but Susannah didn't seem to think that was a good idea," Kevin explained once they were down the hall.

"I know you would have honey. I think Susannah is right. Timmy is just having a hard time right now."

"Because I broke my original promise to him." Viki saw the pain in Kevin's eyes as he admitted that.

"Oh, Kevin. I think that's just part of it. There's a lot going on inside of Todd. He is starting to remember some things and we found out so much more about his feelings and confusion over the sexual abuse. He's on new medication. Please, don't put all the blame on yourself."

"I'm just happy that Tea knew where to find me," Kevin stated.

"So am I honey. So am I." Viki kissed Kevin goodnight.

"I'll be back by eight tomorrow. Now I have to go home and think up some french toast stick eating chicken jokes." Viki squeezed Kevin's arm. She watched as the elevator doors closed and then headed back to spend the night with Timmy.

*****

Tea was sitting in her office trying her best to pay attention to what Mr. Rodriguez was saying about the lease on his new store. Her mind kept drifting back to Timmy. She kept hearing his screams for her. Not wanting to short change her client, Tea forced herself to pay attention to what he was saying. When their business had concluded Tea walked to the outer office. She was surprised to see Kevin waiting for her. "Is Timmy all right?" Tea asked as soon as Mr. Rodriguez was out the door.

"Yes. He was sleeping when I left." Kevin filled Tea in on everything that happened after she left. He told her about the "official promise" and that most likely Timmy would want her to sign one too.

"Very clever Buchanan. So, you found the way to convince him that we won't be gone forever if we leave his sight?"

"So far this seems to calm his fears. And don't thank me. If it weren't for my staying away he would not be freaking out the way he is."

"You can't take all the blame. He and Tom and who knows whom else thought I was staying away because I was angry with them. God Kevin. When I think of all the times I walked out on Todd and all the times I threatened to . . . can you imagine what that must have done to him? I was causing one of his worst nightmares to come true . . . having a woman he loved abandon him."

"He did give you reasons to walk out on him Tea. You didn't realize how sick he was."

"I know . . . that doesn't make me feel any better about it. I know he was hard to live with, at times. Sometimes I would just ask myself 'what have I gotten myself into?' There were bad times. Now, when I look back on our time together, I realize what a gift Todd was to my life. No offense Buchanan, but Todd was the first man I ever truly loved or felt I could completely be myself with. He never judged me. No matter what I told him. I told him things about myself I'd never told anyone. Not only didn't he think less of me for it . . . I got the feeling he was actually proud of my actions. He made me feel I was as good as he. I was not that little girl always looking in from the outside . . . never being allowed in. Todd let me in. He kept me out of some parts of his life. He couldn't help that, but in so many important ways he let me in. He made me feel like I was worth something."

"Tea. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry if you felt as if I used you or I didn't think you were good enough. I swear I never saw it that way. I know this isn't an excuse, but you do know how things were with Cassie and me at that point. She was still trying to stay true to Andrew. I was trying to get over her. You just got caught in the middle. I am really sorry."

"Relax, Buchanan. I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. I was a big girl. I knew the score. I'm not saying this to tell you how bad for me you were. I telling you how good for me Todd was. I never appreciated just how good." Tea sighed deeply. "Oh Kevin. I miss him so much. I love Timmy . . . Tom . . . Andy . . . little Adam. I know I will love most of the other children when I meet them, but I miss Todd. I miss his humor and his wit. I miss the way he looks at life. I miss waking up and finding him downstairs, still up from the night before. Even though I sometimes felt afraid around him, I also felt safe. I knew that Todd would always be there for us, no matter what. I knew that if I needed to, I could tell him anything. He would have been on my side. I miss the things we did with Starr. I lost a daughter in this. No one seems to realize that. I wonder if Starr even remembers me?" Tears formed in Tea's eyes.

"I'm sure she does. Do you think there is any chance that Blair will let you see her?" Kevin posed.

"Are you kidding! Blair's hatred of me grows in leaps and bounds. Now that she knows I am going to be around more she is really going to go for the jugular."

"That reminds me . . . what's with Dorian's visits? Since when is she a Todd fan?" Kevin could not hide his contempt for Dorian.

"She claims she was there to lend support to Viki and according to her, she is one of Timmy's favorite people."

Kevin laughed. "Don't you just love 'the world according to Dorian?' I am surprised Timmy even remembered her. I hope my mom is keeping an eye on Auntie Dorian." Kevin looked at his watch. "What I'd really like to do is go back to the hospital and check on Timmy." Kevin thought for a moment. "Nah, I don't think Susannah would feel that was healthy for him or therapeutic, as she would say."

"I know. I would like to do the same thing," Tea confessed. I guess Doctor Hanen is right. We can't encourage Timmy's dependence on us. They would call if there were a problem? Wouldn't they?" Tea was still unsure that they would let her know of any problems.

"Yes. They know how much you love Todd. Tea. I just think Sam and mom and even Susannah didn't want to push you. Now that they know how you feel I'm sure that they will let you know as soon as any problems pop up." Kevin looked at his watch again. "I know you missed out on alphabet spaghetti. Did you have any dinner?"

"Actually, no. I was running late as it was so I came straight here," Tea informed him.

"How would you like to go out for a drink and something to eat?" Kevin proposed.

"The eating part sounds good. I think you've had enough to drink today."

Kevin still had a pain deep inside him that he wanted to numb. However, he realized Tea was right and more importantly, he wanted to make sure to be at the hospital first thing in the morning. He was through letting Timmy down. He and Tea decided to go to Carlotta's diner.

The diner was still fairly crowded given the hour. Tea knew that she hadn't been checking in with Carlotta as often as she used to and she felt guilty. She saw Carlotta behind the counter talking to a young man whose back was to Tea. "I'll be right back. I want to go say hello," Tea told Kevin. Tea sat down next to the young man.

Carlotta kissed Tea on the cheek. "I've missed you Mija. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. We'll have a long talk when you have time," Tea said. She squeezed Carlotta's hand.

"Aren't you going to say hello to me Tea?" the young man asked. Tea took a good look at him. She was shocked. This tall, husky and very healthy looking young man was Eli.

"Eli! My God! I didn't recognize you. Look how you've grown."

Looking at him proudly, Carlotta took his hand and said, "He's not a little boy anymore. My Eli is man."

"Are you on spring break?" Tea asked.

"I'll bet I'm the only student in my dorm who would rather go visit his mother than go to Lauderdale," Eli joked.

"Eli, how are you feeling?" Tea looked into his eyes.

"Great! My viral load is way down. It's undetectable."

A customer called Carlotta over. "Eli, come to our table and talk to Kevin and me. I'd love to hear all about how you are doing."

Kevin was just as surprised at Eli's appearance as Tea had been. "So, Carlotta tells me you want to be a doctor?" Tea stated.

Looking a little embarrassed, Eli said, "yeah. Can you imagine that? . . . from straight F's to medical school . . . with just a few stops along the way. Seriously, I want to go into research. I want to find a cure for this damn disease. Not every kid is as lucky as I was to meet someone like Todd. There are lots of kids who can't get the protocol I got on because it's too expensive. Todd believed no kid should die because of money of the lack of it. It's a shame not everyone feels that way. Especially many of our politicians."

Eli impressed the hell out of Tea and Kevin. They couldn't believe this was the same boy they had known. They both realized the same thing. The shot at life that Eli has and the good that this young man might do for the world were another of the gifts Todd had given.

"Tea. I heard that Todd is pretty sick. I'm sorry." Eli's voice was filled with compassion and sadness.

"Yes, he is," Tea confirmed. "Eli, he's getting stronger. I know that he would be very proud of you. When he is well enough, I will tell him how great you are doing."

"He's not only paying for my medication, but also for my education as well. He didn't want me to know. He didn't want anyone to know. When I asked, mom told me the truth. Do you know that she always says a prayer for Todd and lights candles for him?" Tea didn't know that and she was very touched. "Why do you think it is that Todd wants to keep his doing such a good and kind thing for me a secret?" Eli asked.

"Oh, Eli. Todd doesn't feel very good about himself. I think he wants everyone to keep this bad image of him in his or her mind. It is what he feels comfortable with. It is too confusing for him when people see him as good," Tea explained as best she could.

"I know that feeling. I used to feel the same way. I think Todd recognized that in me. I think he saw a junior version of himself in me. I used to ask him why he was helping me. He always acted like he was helping me just to make me stay alive because dying was too easy an out for me," Eli chuckled and then asked, "Tea, do you think it would help if I went to visit Todd?"

Tea and Kevin exchanged looks. They both shrugged. "I don't know? I will ask Todd's doctor. Right now Todd is feeling very ashamed and embarrassed for people to see him this way. Including me," Tea admitted. Eli could see the pain in Tea's eyes when she said that. "Eli. Todd has what they call a conversion disorder." Tea tried to think of the best way to explain it. "He is psychologically blind. There is no physical reason for his loss of vision. That is part of the reason he is uncomfortable being seen by people whom he can't see."

"Mom told me that. She told me he has DID. I wasn't familiar with it. I did some research. I know that DID is usually caused by severe trauma and abuse." Eli did not add that he read that in most cases the abuse was sexual as well as physical and emotional.

"Yes, it is," Kevin confirmed.

"Todd knew that my stepfather and some of the guys my mom took up with used to beat me as well as her. I guess he understood me more than I ever knew," Eli sighed. "Well, if Todd's doctor feels it’s all right, I would like to tell him thank you. I would also like to let him know that his plan is paying off and I am in hell having to take organic chemistry and microbiology," Eli said with a smile. Tea and Kevin smiled back at this fine young man sitting in front of them. Eli excused himself. He went back to the counter.

"Do you think it would be helpful to Todd to see Eli?" Tea asked Kevin.

"I don't know. Todd never did like his good deeds being thrown in his face," Kevin joked sadly. "Besides, it is pretty hard to plan when Todd will be there. I do think it's a good idea to ask Susannah about it," Kevin suggested. He and Tea ordered. They kept he dinner conversation light. Both of them wanted a respite from their thoughts and feelings of guilt. Kevin not only felt guilt over Timmy and his anger at Pete, but also over his relationship with Cassie. He knew sooner or later they would have to get together and talk about either saving their marriage or ending it.

When Kevin and Tea finished eating, they went to say their goodnights to Carlotta and Eli. Carlotta stroked Tea's cheek. "Don't be a stranger Mija. We are family."

Tea took Carlotta's hand. "Thank you. I will remember that and thank you for your prayers."

"Todd doesn't deserve all that is happening to him. I know I had my fears about you marrying him, but I also recognize goodness when I see it. He's a good man Mija. I do know that."

Tea kissed Carlotta and Eli goodnight. Kevin shook Eli's hand. Kevin drove Tea back to where her car was parked and walked her to it. "Thank you," Kevin said softly.

"For what?" Tea asked.

"For keeping me from drinking and for being someone who understands what I'm feeling." Kevin gave Tea a grateful hug. What neither of them saw was Jerry Skinner, a photographer from the Sun whom Blair had paid to follow Tea around and take pictures of anything that looked suspicious. Jerry knew he had just earned his salary.

TO BE CONTINUED