*****

Tea moved away from the doorway. She stood off to the side. She could still hear, but they couldn't see her. Terry noticed her but said nothing. She knew it was all right for Tea to be there and she realized Tea didn't want to upset Todd more by making her presence known. She didn't know what Tea had overheard. She had no way of knowing the pain that was in Tea's heart. Susannah was about to order a sedative, when she heard Timmy's voice.

"Mommy! Daddy! It hurts. Daddy! Mommy!" Sam and Viki rushed to Timmy. He tried to reach for them and panicked when he couldn't move his arms. He tried to raise his head to look down at his hands.

"Hi Timmy. Sweetie, you need to stay calm," Susannah said soothingly. She stroked Timmy's head.

"It hurrrrts!" Timmy cried.

"I know it does. I just gave you some medicine to help it not hurt so much." Susannah continued to stroke his head.

"I don't want a shot!" Timmy cried out.

"No shot. You already got the medicine. You won't get stuck sweetie. I promise."

"My other daddy's coming here to punish me!"

"Noooo, Timmy. Shhhhh. No one is going to punish you," Sam promised. He tenderly rubbed Timmy's soft cheek with the back of his finger.

"Yes he is. He tied me down so he could punish me," Timmy cried.

"Timmy, do you promise not to move around too much if I take the restraints off?" Susannah asked.

"No! Don't! Daddy will punish you too if you try to help me. He'll hit you and push you and jump up and down on top of you and make you cry and then he'll hurt me anyway."

They realized he was describing what happened when his mother tried to help him. "Timmy, listen to me. Your daddy didn't put the restraints on you. I did. You're not being held down so that you can be punished. They are on so that you don't move around too much and hurt yourself," Susannah explained. Cautiously, Susannah told him "sweetie, you've got a big boo-boo and had to have some stitches. That's why your chest and hand hurt." Susannah hoped he understood her explanation.

Timmy's chin and lower lip started to quiver. "I got stitches?"

"Yes, but it's okay. It's all done and in a few days it won't hurt so much. You just have to be careful," Susannah stated gently.

Timmy started to calm down as the painkiller took effect. "Okay, Timmy. I'm going to take the restraint off your left wrist," Susannah told him. He didn't move around when his arm was free. Susannah motioned for Terry and Gwen to release his other wrist and his ankles. Due to his wounds those were the only restraints on him. "Sweetie, if you need or want to move around, you have to let us know and we will help you. Okay?"

Timmy nodded and then asked, "Are you sure daddy didn't tie me down?"

"Yes, pal. We're sure," Sam answered.

They were so touched that Timmy would rather stay tied down and wait for his punishment than risk Peter hurting Susannah.

"Timmy, I promise. I put the restraints on you. It's all right for me to take them off," Susannah repeated, soothingly.

"Okay. I'm scared to be tied up," Timmy whimpered. Timmy looked at his right hand. "Will I be able to draw and paint?"

"Not for a couple of weeks with that hand, pal. We'll help you learn to use your other hand," Sam offered.

"Can I sit up more?" Timmy asked meekly.

"Sure you can. Let us help you so you don't press on your hand," Susannah instructed. Susannah and Sam lifted him up a little. Susannah then raised the bed a little higher.

Timmy looked around the room. "Where's Mr. Rabbit and Moose and Mr. Panda?" He noticed Blair standing off to the side. "You're Starr's mommy. I remember you. You brought us the bird book."

Blair walked up to the bed. "That's right cutie pie. Do you remember my name?"

"Blair?" Timmy guessed.

"That's right. And I remember that you drew some very fine pictures." Blair looked at him lovingly.

Timmy smiled. He held his right hand up. "I have a big boo-boo with stitches and I can't draw with this hand."

"I know. But you know what?" Blair posed. Timmy shook his head. "I heard that you are going to be fine and dandy in just a couple of weeks and then you will be able to draw all you want."

"Will you read me the bird book?"

Blair melted at the sight of Timmy's large innocent eyes. "Well, sure I will cutie pie."

Viki went get the book. She handed it to Blair. Blair sat down on the bed next to Timmy. She put her arm around him and started to read all about the different birds. Timmy put his head on her shoulder. He liked to run his fingers over the pictures of the birds. "Can you feel the feathers?" Blair kidded him, making him giggle.

Tea heard him and peeked in. Blair seemed so relaxed and easy with Timmy. It was as if she belonged there. Tea was about to leave when Viki looked up and saw her. Tea put her finger to her lips, to let Viki know not to say anything. Viki motioned for Tea to wait. "Sweetheart, I'm going to the pantry. If I bring you some chocolate pudding will you eat it?" Viki coaxed.

"Will it make my stitches feel better?" Timmy asked seriously.

"Chocolate pudding makes everything feel better," Blair remarked. She hugged Timmy tenderly.

"Will you feed me?" Timmy asked Blair shyly.

"You just bet I will," Blair agreed. "And I might steal a spoonful when you're not looking," she teased as she playfully touching her finger to the tip if Timmy's nose.

Timmy giggled again. "Mommy, can I have it in the bird dish?"

"Sure you can, baby," Viki replied. She went to get his pudding and to talk to Tea.

Viki had called Tea last night to let her know what had happened to Todd. Tea casually mentioned that she had just had dinner with Kevin. She was wondering if Viki would have a negative reaction to that. The only mention Viki made of it was to ask how Kevin seemed. "A little down," Tea had answered, honestly. Tea did not let Viki hear how upset she was by hearing Todd had hurt himself. She figured Viki had enough on her mind.

Viki didn't know that Tea cried herself to sleep. She didn't know that Tea dreamt that she and Todd were sitting on the penthouse floor playing Money Hungry. Tea felt love for Todd well up within her as she watched him reach for the substitute emergency card. Tea reached out and took his hand. She could feel it, warm, in her own. This time, in her dream, Todd pulled her close to him. She looked deep into those vulnerable hazel eyes. She felt his warm breath on her face. She closed her eyes and felt his lips on hers. She could feel their fullness. Their tongues explored each other's mouths. She felt the warmth from his lips spread throughout her entire body. She started to pull him closer to her. Tea could feel Todd's heart beating in time with hers as their chests pressed against each other. She could smell the sent of his shampoo in his hair. "Querido," Tea whispered in his ear. Suddenly her arms became empty. She looked around and she was back in the basement apartment in New York City that she had grown up in. The tiny apartment was empty. Tea ran from room to room. There was no sign of her father or her brothers. She was hoping the one person she wanted most to see was home. "Mami! Mami! she called out. Tea ran into her parent's room again. She tore open the closet and the draws. All her mother's things were gone. "MAMI! NOOOO!" Tea cried out. Tea then looked at the bed. Lying on it was the necklace her mother left her and the substitute emergency card. Tea's heart started to pound wildly as she realized that this was all she had left of everyone in the world she cared about. Tea picked up the necklace and tears poured down her face as she held it. She then picked up the card and screamed, "TOOOOOD!"

Tea woke up in a cold sweat. Her heart was pounding and her face wet with tears. She looked at the clock. It was three forty-five in the morning. She wanted to go to the hospital right then, but knew she had to wait few hours more. Tea curled up into a ball. She hugged her pillow to her. The fingers on her right hand were feeling the wedding band on her left ring finger. She cried herself back to sleep.

"Tea, please wait," Viki called.

"Blair seems to have everything under control. I'm not needed in there," Tea snapped.

"Honey. Please don't feel that way. Timmy is a child. He likes it when someone pays attention to him. He would be reacting the same way to you, if you were in there."

"Somehow, I don't think so. Blair is comfortable with him. She is not afraid of upsetting him. He senses that."

"Tea, Timmy loves to have you visit him. Please stay and say hello to him," Viki pleaded.

"Maybe Timmy would be happy to see me, but I know one thing. Todd does not scream and cry for me to stay with him. He does not say he needs me. It's Blair. It's always Blair!"

"Tea, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were standing there long enough to hear that. Since you were, you must have also heard Todd starting to go into a psychotic episode. You must have realized that the reason he needs and wants Blair is because he is terrified for Starr. He wants Blair to protect Starr. He wants to make sure Blair does the right thing for Starr. He doesn't want her there for himself."

"Why is Blair here so often now anyway?" Viki heard the annoyance in Tea's voice.

"Ever since Blair saw him during on of his psychotic episodes she has been extremely worried about his treatment. I think seeing her mother in similar circumstances has a lot to do with it."

"Viki, you do know that Blair believes he should be out to the hospital?" Tea pointed out.

"Yes. Blair has made that clear to everyone," Viki confirmed.

"Viki," Tea began. She looked down for a moment. She then looked directly into Viki's eyes. "Blair also believes that Kevin and I are having and affair."

"I know that too. Tea, I hope you don't think I believe that?"

"No . . . it's . . . it's just that Blair really believes it and . . ."

"Honey." Viki cut her off and tried to spare Tea any further embarrassment. "I know you and I know my son. You both love Todd and wouldn't do that to him. I also know that both you and Kevin are in a bad way now. If spending time with each other can bring either of you comfort, I have no problem with it. Now, why don't you come in to say hello to Timmy?"

Tea thought for a moment. "I'll be in to see him in a little bit. I want to go to the gift shop and get him something."

Viki shook her head. "Tea, Timmy does not need any more toys, games or books. He needs you. Todd does too. And you know something . . . he probably realizes that when his thinking is rational. He is just afraid and embarrassed to be around you. Honey, he is always remembering how he hurt you and he is so afraid he will do it again. Just yesterday, before Rocky came out, Todd was talking about how he hurt you. He thinks you hate him and that you have every right to. He is racked with guilt over the things he's done to you and the things he hasn't been able to do," Viki said frankly.

"Oh my God! Viki, doesn't he know by now that I forgive him? What must he think of me if he thinks I would hold the things he's done because of his illness against him? He still doesn't trust me. He doesn't trust my love. That's really what it comes down to. Maybe it's because of all the times I have hurt him. We hurt each other Viki. We hurt each other a lot. He just doesn't trust me. He never did."

"Honey." Viki took Tea's hand. "Todd doesn't trust anyone's love. He has no experience in trusting love. Love has always hurt him. It has left him."

"So he pushes it away or leaves it first," Tea acknowledged. The sadness in her voice matched the sadness in her eyes.

"Tea, please. Don't let Blair's presence intimidate you. You are Todd's wife, not Blair. I know you are afraid of Todd's reaction should he come out. Please don't let that keep you away from Timmy, Tom and the others. They want to see you. Do you think it's fair to them to stay away because Todd doesn't want to see you?"

"What would Todd do if he didn't have you to always plead his case for him?" Tea asked. She smiled and squeezed Viki's hand.

"Well, he does have me, and I hope he has you too," Viki declared. She looked Tea's eyes.

"Yes. He has me. Now, let's go let Blair know that she is not the only Mrs. Manning around here." Viki went to get Timmy's pudding and Tea headed for Todd's room.

Sam was sitting in a chair in a corner of Todd's room, reading the Sun. Timmy was happily snuggling in Blair's arms. His head rested on Blair's shoulder. Timmy was holding his stuffed animals in his left arm. "Show us the one who looks like Moose again," Timmy requested. He held up his stuffed parrot so it could see the page Blair was turning to. "See! He looks like you," Timmy said to the parrot. They all turned their heads up when Tea walked into the room. "TEE!" Timmy shouted happily. He pronounced it more like the way Starr called Tea "Tee" than Tea. "Tee look. I got stitches." Timmy held up his right hand and pointed to his chest.

"I see. I hear you're being a very brave boy about it," Tea said lovingly.

"Uh-huh. I'm staying real quiet and not moving around like Doctor Hanen says. Daddy says I'm not being punished and mommy is gonna bring me chocolate pudding and Blair is reading me the bird book. It's my favorite. Blair is Starr's mommy. Starr and I used to play together when we lived in Todd's house. Do you like the bird book?"

"Yes, I do. I like birds very much," Tea confirmed. She looked in Blair's direction.

"Hello Tea!" Blair practically spat out Tea's name.

"Hello Blair," Tea answered sweetly. She would not give Blair the satisfaction of seeing her upset.

"Tee, look. Mr. Jackson gave me a bird that looks just like Moose. Did you know Moose?"

"Yes, honey. I did. Would you like me to tell you a story about how Moose snuck into my room one night and stole my watch?"

Timmy nodded eagerly.

Tea sat opposite from Blair, on Timmy's other side. She started to tell him the story. Before long, Timmy was snuggling up against Tea. He looked up at her as she told him how a jealous Moose stole her watch, leaving one of his feathers behind as evidence.

Timmy's eyes were as big as saucers as he listened. He would occasionally giggle at Moose's antics. Viki stood in the doorway with the bowl of pudding in her hand. She didn't want to interrupt. She enjoyed seeing Timmy so close to Tea. When the story was over Viki came in and said, "Here's your pudding, sweetheart. I see you are having a good time."

"I love Tea and Blair," Timmy announced to Viki. Tea and Blair looked at each other. Both felt uncomfortable.

"And I love you too, cutie pie," Blair said. She hugged Timmy.

Tea had wanted to say the same thing to him, but she had held back. Now she was sorry she did. Sam took the bowl and explained to them that if Timmy finished all the pudding the birds would sing. He then set the timer.

"Here Sam, I'll take that." Blair took the bowl of pudding from Sam.

Tea watched as Blair fed Timmy. She gently wiped his mouth after every spoonful. When Timmy was halfway through he held his lips closed tightly and shook his head when Blair held up the next spoonful. "Are you full already?" Blair asked. She put down the spoon and stroked Timmy's hair back. Timmy nodded. Blair looked toward Viki.

"Timmy, try to eat a little more. Don't you want to hear the birds sing, sweetheart?" Viki coaxed.

Timmy shook his head again.

"Timmy, do I get my turn?" They all looked at Tea as she asked this. Timmy looked at her quizzically. "Do I get a turn at feeding you the pudding?"

"That's right pal. Tea didn't have her turn yet," Sam jumped on Tea's idea.

"Okay," Timmy agreed.

Tea held her hand out. Blair handed her the bowl and spoon, begrudgingly. For each spoonful Timmy took, Tea taught him how to say its number in Spanish. She smiled as Timmy tried to pronounce what she taught him. Before long, the pudding bowl was nearly empty and the timer went off.

"Wow! That is some special bowl," Tea admired it and made a big deal of it for Timmy's sake.

"Kevin bought it for me. Kevin is my bestest friend in the whole world," Timmy announced proudly. Timmy yawned and rubbed his eyes with his left hand.

"I think he needs a nap," Sam recognized when Timmy had enough. "Hey pal. You wanna lie down for a while and get some sleep?"

"I really have to be going anyway," Blair announced. "I do have to keep Todd's newspaper going," she added smugly. >

"I am really glad you're doing such a good job with the Sun, Blair," Tea praised Blair sweetly. "That is one less thing on my mind as I take care of every other aspect of Todd's affairs."

Sam and Viki looked at each other and smiled. They were glad to see that Tea was not allowing herself to be intimidated.

Blair kissed Timmy good-bye and left. Tea stayed behind to talk to Sam and Viki.

Timmy forgot and rolled over on his left side. He cried out in pain. Sam grabbed him and held him. "Okay, Timmy. Oooookay, buddy. Shhhh. I know that hurt."

"Daddy," Timmy cried. He held onto Sam. Viki rubbed his back. The pain eased in a few minutes. Sam carefully laid Timmy down. Viki pulled the covers up over him. Timmy held onto his stuffed animals. He turned on his right side. "Tee?" Timmy called out.

"I'm here Timmy," Tea walked over to the bed.

"Tell me the Moose story again, please," Timmy requested.

Sam pulled a chair up next to the bed for Tea. She wasn't even half way through the story before Timmy was sound asleep. Frank came in to sit with him. Viki, Sam walked Tea out. They filled her in on what Susannah had explained to them yesterday.

"Do you think Doctor Hanen might have a few minutes to speak with me?" Tea asked.

"I think so. I have a session with her in about an hour. Maybe she can see you now?" Viki suggested.

Tea seemed a little surprised that Viki was having sessions with Susannah. "Tea, getting over that kind of devastating abuse is not easy. There are still issues I have left to deal with . . . and no . . . I'm not dissociating again." Tea looked away, embarrassed, because that was what she was wondering. "It's all right, honey. It's only natural to wonder. Once Todd is integrated, he will most likely stay integrated. My therapy was interrupted because Susannah had to leave town. Quite frankly, I was relieved that I never had to talk about some issues. I realize now I did myself no favor. They stayed in me, like an untreated infection."

"What made you decide to go back into therapy at this point? Oh Viki. I'm sorry. That's really none of my business, I . . . "

"Tea. Tea, please. We're family. It's all right. Actually, it was Todd . . . well . . . Andy specifically. When he was talking about some of the sexual abuse he suffered and the way he felt about it, it uncovered some of the feelings I had buried very deep within me. These were feelings that had no memories connected to them until I started talking to Susannah about them. Tea, I am more like Todd than you know. When a child is sexually abused it twists their perceptions about sex . . . about their body . . . about their sexuality . . . about everything. It makes them feel that what nature meant for their body to do is wrong, that it is bad. They confuse the act committed against them, which was bad, with their body's normal response to it."

"Are you saying that Todd is not only afraid of intimacy because he was abused, but also because he responded sexually to that abuse and that he feels he is doing something wrong if he feels his body responding to me?"

"Yes. Todd is not the only one of Father's children to feel that way. Luckily for Todd and me, we fell in love with patient people." Viki smiled sadly.

Tea took Viki's hand. "Viki, I'm sorry."

Viki could see the sadness in Tea's eyes. She squeezed Tea's hand and said, "The good news is that both brother and sister are getting the help they need. Tea, Todd has a very long and painful road ahead of him, but he has been taking some steps. They may seem like baby steps to us . . . oh honey . . . believe me . . . to Todd they are the hardest giant steps you can imagine. I believe with all my heart that Todd will come back all the way and that the two of you will someday have the life you both deserve. As long as you keep loving Todd, I know that it can happen." Viki noticed something in Tea's eyes she hadn't seen for a very long time . . . hope. Viki patted Tea's arm. "Why don't you have them ring Susannah's office and see if she can see you now?"

*****

Susannah was more than happy to have Tea come to speak with her.

"I know you're busy and I'm sorry to intrude," Tea apologized, as soon as she sat in front of Susannah's desk.

"Tea, why do you see this as an intrusion?" Tea shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I know you have your hands full. You don't need to have to take the time for everyone who comes to visit Todd."

"Is that how you see yourself, as just some visitor?"

"No . . . uh . . . th-that's not exactly what I meant." Tea smiled nervously.

"Then how do you see your place in Todd's life?" Susannah pressed.

"I'm his wife. I love him."

"Do you feel like his wife, right now?" Susannah knew this was going to be hard for Tea.

"Right now . . . after just spending time with Timmy . . . No." Tea shook her head. "I felt more like the way I do with Starr . . . more like his mother. But that's nothing new."

"What do you mean?" Susannah probed.

"Whew! No wonder Todd is afraid of therapy." Tea tried to make a joke out of what she really felt.

"Tea, I'm not about to force you to talk about anything you don't want to discuss. I appreciate that you are doing this to help you understand Todd better. Please, let me know if I've asked you something you would rather not talk about. I just think that it might be helpful to Todd if you had more understanding of your relationship with him. I certainly think it would be helpful to you. Your feelings in this count you know? It isn't just about Todd," Susannah explained. She hoped to make Tea more comfortable.

Tea thought for a minute and then spoke. "It seems like I have been taking care of Todd and Todd's needs ever since we met. At first it was getting him custody of Starr. Then it was helping him cope with Blair, then with sharing Starr, then coping with his wild mood swings and jealousy, then with Georgie and finally his breakdown. I knew something was very wrong with Todd for months before he finally broke down completely. He never really pulled out of finding Georgie. Now I understand why. Yet I always feel that I could have somehow prevented things from getting so bad. I saw it happening. In the days before he took everyone hostage he was really losing it. He took Starr and tried to run away to Canada. I went with them. Then I pretended to be sick and called Sam and we tried to get him to come back to Llanview. He ran off with Starr. Finally he did come back to Llanview. He dropped her at her mother's and headed for Viki's. Then he took Viki and everyone hostage and this whole thing began. I wonder if that phone call to Sam was a huge mistake. If I hadn't done that one thing, he would never had taken everyone hostage. He wouldn't have kidnapped me and punched me. I would not have hit him. He would not have gone to the cabana and Sam would not have confronted him there. Maybe none of this would have happened? Maybe he would not have become this ill?"

"So, you feel that everything that Todd is going through now is because of that one phone call you made to Sam to get him to help Todd?" Susannah restated. She recognized the guilt Tea was carrying around.

"Sometimes I believe that. I know that's not rational. I know that Todd was already very damaged and disturbed by the time we met. I just keep remembering the look in his eyes when he realized I had betrayed him by calling Sam. When he thought I was sick he was so good and comforting to me. It reminded me of the way he was after Blair pushed me through the window."

"Blair pushed you through a window?" Susannah hadn't been aware of this.

"Well, I was trying to push her buttons at a party. I wanted her to lose it in front of everyone to help Todd's chances of custody. She lost it a little more than I had anticipated and became hysterical and accidentally pushed me through a second story window. I was hurt pretty badly, but I left the hospital the next day and showed up in court and won Todd custody of Starr."

"You left the hospital a day after you were pushed out of a second story window and went to court?" Susannah was shocked.

"I couldn't let Blair take Starr away from Todd. It would kill him if he lost that little girl. It was just he and she."

"What about you? You were married to Todd at the time weren't you?"

Tea looked down at her lap. "Yes. We were married," Tea responded softly.

"So why did you leave yourself out of the equation?"

"I was only there to give the appearance of a real family, as Todd never failed to remind me. Todd really didn't want a wife. He wanted to keep his little girl."

"Do you think he still feels that way?" Susannah pushed.

"No. I . . . he did ask me to marry him for real . . . I . . . I . . . Doctor Hanen I don't know what he feels now. He doesn't want to see me. That much I know!" Tea's eyes became teary as she said that.

"No, Tea. It's not that Todd does not want to see you. He doesn't want you to see him. There is a difference."

"I know. I have heard it over and over again. He doesn't want to see me because he loves me and he is ashamed in front of me. He remembers we hurt each other and he is afraid it will happen again."

"Tea, you say that as if you don't really believe it. Do you think Todd has another reason for not wanting to see you?"

Tea really hated this. She felt even more compassion then ever for Todd having to talk about things that were a million times more painful to him than this conversation was to her. "I sometimes wonder if Todd was just afraid of being left alone? He kept pushing me away. Then when I took him up on it he wanted me back. I wonder if this is just more pushing me away, only this time maybe he doesn't want me back?"

"Why do you think that is?" Susannah asked this troubled young woman.

"Maybe it's not me he needs or wants in his life now?" Tea stated. She looked Susannah in the eye.

"Viki and Sam aside, whom do you think it is that Todd wants in his life?" Susannah posed.

"Blair," Tea admitted. She once again looked down at her lap.

"Why do you think that?"

"Doctor Hanen, you know that Todd has been clinging to Blair. He calls for her. He gets hysterical if she is asked to leave the room. You were there. Blair just takes over when she is with him. He feels safe with her. He isn't afraid she will hurt him. God knows why that is, because she has hurt him very badly over and over and over again. Yet somehow he always forgives her."

"Tea, do you honestly believe that Todd calling out for Blair that way means he wants to get back together with her?" Tea didn't answer. "Tea, I can tell you one thing. Todd has never called for or cried for Blair when he wasn't experiencing a psychotic episode. I am not saying that Todd has no feelings for Blair. I really don't know because we haven't discussed that yet. I do know that Todd, when he was himself, did not want Blair here. Blair is a little more aggressive when it comes to visits. I'm not saying that is bad. I would like to see Todd get to a point where he can interact calmly with all of you. Todd needs love and affection from all concerned. However, the reason Blair is here more often than you is Blair herself, not Todd. He has not been asking for her. It wasn't until he felt Starr was being threatened that he called for Blair. Tea, do you understand what I am telling you?"

For once Tea really did start to believe that it was part of Todd's illness that made him cry out for his ex-wife and not her.

"Now I would like to get back to something else you mentioned. You said you sometimes felt maternal toward Todd. Does that bother you?"

Tea hesitated a few seconds as she collected her thoughts. "Sometimes . . . yes. Todd has always thought I would be able to wave a wand and make all his bad feelings disappear. I think he thought marrying me would do that. I guess he knows by now that I failed him."

"I can believe Todd did think that. He has been looking for a woman to save him and make his pain go away all his life. You did not fail him. No woman Todd has ever met can live up to his expectations of a savior. No one can take away someone else's pain, Tea. Todd is going to have to do it the hard way. He is going to have to face what is causing his pain. There is no magic wand out there for him."

"I know," Tea admitted. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "You don't understand."

"Help me understand," Susannah tried to get Tea to explore her feelings.

"I didn't just not save him. I hurt him. I betrayed him. I even hit him on the head with a shovel. Who knows if that didn't somehow trigger this?"

Susannah smiled. "Tea, I know that you know that someone can't get DID from being hit on the head."

"Y-Yes. I-I know," Tea stammered. "Oh Doctor Hanen. It was right after that when he lost it completely. Perhaps it did something to him?"

"It was also right after that when Sam confronted him in the cabana and brought up the night Michelle died. Do you believe that Sam caused this? Do you think he deserves to feel as guilty as he does?"

"No. I always tell him that. He is being much too hard on himself. Todd is like this because of what his parents did to him, not Sam. Sam was trying to help."

"Don't you think you deserve the same deal you just cut for Sam?"

Tea once again looked down at her lap. This time a tear slid down her cheek.

Susannah's eyes were filled with compassion for this young woman. "Tea, even if Todd had never met you or Viki or if Sam had not come back into his life, he was still headed for this. Todd has had DID almost his entire life. Sooner or later this would have happened. No one can endure the traumas that Todd endured and go on to live a perfectly happy well adjusted life, not without help. Now, as far as you feeling maternal toward Todd that is a very easy thing to do. I feel that way myself and have questioned the ethics of it," Susannah confessed in her usual honest fashion.

Susannah gave Tea a few moments to process what she told her and then continued. "It is very difficult not to feel that way about someone we care about when we see they are suffering. Todd, and I am talking about Todd not just some of the alters, is also very childlike in many ways. He has never completely grown up. He never had the needs satisfied that would support growing up. He is still waiting for those needs to be met. It is all right to feel that way and even to act in a comforting way to him and it is certainly appropriate with many of the alters. They can use all the mothering available. If Todd gets to a point where you can visit with him, I do think the healthier way to go for both of you is for you to relate to him as his wife. He has Viki to mother him. He may try to put you in the position of being his mother. It is very important that he learn not to expect you to save him."

"What should he expect from me?" Tea was a little confused.

"Love, affection, in a mature way, when he gets to where he can tolerate it, loyalty, patience, being there for him and staying strong when he needs it and not letting him get away with inappropriate behavior. He has a right to expect that from you, and you have the right to expect the same from him. Tea, neither of you can be in this independently. Right now Todd's needs are tremendous. You have needs too and those have to be addressed. Your pain counts. You can't dismiss it. Now, do you want to be more active in Todd's therapy?"

Tea desperately wanted to say yes. "How can I be when Todd thinks my presence is a nightmare that he doesn't want to have again? I love to be with the alters . . . wh-what if Todd comes back while I'm there? I don't want to be responsible for him going into a psychotic episode or having to be restrained."

"Tea, I need to speak with Todd and let him know that some of his alters want you to visit."

"No! Todd freaks out if you talk about the DID to him." Tea was horrified at Todd being upset like that on her account.

"I have been able to discuss the DID with Todd. In fact just yesterday he was able to hear about his diagnosis."

Tea was surprised. "Did he stay Todd?"

"Yes. It was later on that he switched. Todd is starting to get stronger. I would never push Todd or ask him something that would be harmful to him just to please someone else. If I speak with Todd about the alters visiting you, it will be because I think it is the best thing for Todd. In the meantime I see no harm with you visiting. Timmy was very happy to see you and I had never seen Tom so excited as he was the day he knew you were coming for a visit."

Tea smiled at what Susannah just said. "Tom is so sweet. I really enjoyed spending time with him. I loved being with Timmy too. You should have heard him trying to learn to count in Spanish."

Susannah smiled back at Tea. "You are good with them and you are good for them. I think for now it is therapeutic for you to visit. Later on it will be an important part of Todd getting back to the life he wants. I just hope that you will still want it too."

"Don't worry, Doctor Hanen. I will." Tea thanked Susannah and headed back to see if Timmy or one of the other alters or Todd had woken up. If it were Todd she would just leave without him seeing her, no harm done. Susannah prepared for Viki's session.

*****

Sam was alone with Timmy when Tea got back to Todd's room. Timmy was still asleep. He had begun to move around a little. "I think he's starting to wake up," Sam stated. He placed his arm around Tea's shoulders and walked her away from the bed. "Viki went to get a cup of coffee and gather her thoughts together before her session with Susannah. How did things go with you? Are you okay?" Tea heard the genuine concern in Sam's voice.

"Doctor Hanen is great. She and I got to discuss a lot of things that were bothering me. I think I have a little better understanding of the situation now. Todd is lucky to have her for a doctor."

"I think so too," Sam agreed. They heard Timmy call out.

"Daddy. Mommy."

Sam went to him. "Hi pal. Did you have a nice nap?"

"My boo-boos hurt!" Timmy wailed.

Sam was about to tell Frank to get someone when Frank stuck his head in the door and said, "I'll get Terry." Frank heard Timmy's anguished cry from his post outside the door.

Sam sat on the bed and held Timmy. Timmy immediately cuddled up to Sam. Timmy noticed Tea standing across the room. He called to her. Tea walked to the bed. She stroked Timmy's head. "I got stitches and they hurt," Timmy whimpered. A tear slid down his cheek.

"I know," Tea confirmed sympathetically. "Terry is coming in and she'll make it feel better."

"Do you still play tea party with Starr?" Timmy asked.

Timmy surprised Tea with that question. "Timmy, how do you know about the tea parties?"

"Starr told me. She loves you a whole lot. Can you bring Starr to see me?"

Tea looked at Sam.

"Hey pal. Remember I once explained to you that little children aren't allowed in the hospital unless they're sick."

"I don't want Starr to be sick. I'll wait until I'm all better to play with her," Timmy replied.

Terry came in with a painkiller. Timmy pulled up closer to Sam. Timmy held onto him tightly. "Daddy! I don't want a shot!"

"No, honey. You have an IV. The medicine will go into that. You won't get stuck," Terry promised.

Timmy calmed down and held his left arm up and showed Tea. "See! I have an IV so it gets stuck and I don't have to."

"Hey, that's a pretty good system," Tea observed.

"I still don't like medicine," Timmy whimpered.

Terry also gave Timmy his first dose of Procrit.

"Tee, will you tell me how Moose stole your watch again?"

While Tea was keeping Timmy enthralled with the story about Moose, Terry motioned for Sam to come to where she stood, away from Timmy's bed.

"Tea, why don't you sit here while I talk to Terry for a moment. Okay pal?" Sam asked. He looked down at Timmy.

"I love Tee," Timmy answered.

Tea sat next to him. He immediately cuddled up next to her. Tea felt a tug in her heart. She put her arm around him. Timmy rested his head on her shoulder and looked up at her. His eyes were huge and round as he eagerly waited to hear more of the "Moose Story" over again. Tea continued it.

"I have to clean and redress his wounds," Terry began explaining. "I want to give the pain med a little longer to kick in. Frank, Dan, Jeff and Gwen will come in with me to help hold him still. Susannah doesn't want restraints put on Timmy, if it can be helped. He will probably need to be held down because" . . . Terry sighed. "It's gonna hurt."

Sam shook his head. "Just what he needs . . . more pain. Do what you have to do. I'll help hold him. It may help to comfort him a little."

"Tea may want to wait outside. If you can, let her know I plan to come back in about ten minutes." Terry knew that seeing this may be hard on Tea and her reactions could upset Timmy.

Tea finished the story. Timmy stayed snuggled in her arms. The pain med was starting to make him a little drowsy.

"Do you wanna know a secret?" Timmy whispered to Tea.

"If you want to tell me," Tea answered. She brushed his hair out of his face.

"Todd would cry sometimes when he'd think about you."

Tea tried not to show her anguish. "Why would Todd cry when he thought about me?"

"Because he loves you a whole lot," Timmy filled her in.

Tea's heart started to beat faster. "Why would loving me make him cry?"

"He got real sad because he thought he was bad and you would go away. He wanted you to stay with us forever. Me too. If you stay with us maybe I can play with you and Starr. I like tea parties too."

Tea hugged him to her gently. She kissed the top of his head. "Timmy, do you know you just made me very happy?"

"I did?" Timmy wide innocent eyes stared into Tea's warm brown ones.

"Yes, angelito. You did," Tea confirmed. She kissed his head once more.

"What does that mean?" Timmy asked.

"It means my little angel," Tea informed him as she hugged him to her.

Timmy's smiled and asked, "Can you call me that special? Just me . . . maybe Andy too because he's real sad now and he don't want to come out."

Sam heard Timmy say that and felt concern. He made a mental note to tell Susannah what Timmy said about Andy.

"That will be my special name for you and Andy, if he comes out," Tea promised.

"I'm real glad you came to see me Tee. I thought you didn't like us no more."

Tea was horrified that he would think that. "Did all of you think that?"

"Uh-huh. I think so. Tom thinks you're real mad at him."

Tea was devastated. Here she was thinking she was doing the right thing. "Timmy, I am not mad at Tom, not at all. If you see him will you tell him that?"

Timmy nodded.

Tea looked at Sam. They both realized, again, that there were probably so many things the alters kept to themselves. Who knew what else was going on in their minds that were causing them pain?

"Hey, pal. Will you do me a real big favor?"

Timmy looked up at Sam and nodded.

"If something is bothering you or if you know of something that is bothering anyone or making anyone feel bad, will you tell me right away?"

Once more, Timmy nodded. He thought for a moment. "Mommy's knees hurt when she bends too much. I heard her tell Connie."

Tea and Sam laughed. "That's very good Timmy. You just keep telling me if there is something wrong. Okay?" Sam praised him. He stroked Timmy's cheek as he felt his heart well up with love for this four year old.

Timmy yawned. He was getting very sleepy from the medication. Terry, Dan, Gwen, Jeff and Frank came in. Timmy greeted them with a smile until Terry explained to him that she had to take the bandages off his wounds and clean them. "Daddy! No! I don't wanna!" Timmy cried out. He reached out for Sam.

"Okay, pal. It's all right. Daddy's right here. Shhhh."

"This may be difficult. You might want to wait outside?" Sam whispered to Tea.

Tea started to leave, but then she stopped. She was through running from Todd's pain. "No. I'll stay. Maybe it will help?"

Timmy was clinging to Sam. "Okay, buddy. Let's lay you down so Terry can make sure your stitches stay clean and don't become infected," Frank said gently as he started to take Timmy from Sam's arms.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Timmy cried in panic.

"Daddy's staying right here with you. Come on. Let me help you lie down," Sam comforted as he helped Frank get Timmy on his back.

"No! No! I don't wanna! I don't wanna! It's gonna hurt. Noooo!"

Tea looked at Timmy. Tears were pouring down his cheeks. Frank and Jeff held his legs still while Gwen held his injured arm and Sam held his uninjured one. Dan stood by in case another pair of hands was needed.

"Hon, you need to stay still. It will only hurt for a few minutes," Terry spoke gently, but firmly.

Timmy's cries got louder. He kept trying to lift his head to see what Terry was doing to his chest wound. Tea saw Dan about to hold Timmy's head still. She placed her hand on Dan's arm to stop him. "Let me. Maybe he'll stay calmer if I'm close by?" Dan nodded in agreement. Tea held Timmy's head down with one hand while stroking it with the other. "Shhhh, angelito. I'm sorry it hurts you. It will be over quickly."

When Terry removed the bandage Sam and Tea almost gasped at the sight of Timmy's wound and stitches. It looked worse than either of them had imagined. Sam could not believe Rocky had done so much damage. The angry, red, stitched wound extended halfway across Timmy's pale chest.

As Terry started to clean it Timmy shrieked in pain. "Daddy! Daddy! Make them stop hurting me! Daddy!" Timmy was sobbing so hard he was choking on his words.

Tea was thankful that Timmy was not begging her to make it stop hurting. She didn't know how Sam could take it. Tea knew his wounds needed to be cleaned. Nevertheless she desperately wanted to tell them to stop.

Terry worked quickly and expertly. In just a few minutes she had his chest wound cleaned and redressed. Now she had to go through the same procedure with his right hand. The screaming was exhausting Timmy. His shrieks were turning to whimpers. Sam and Tea were both whispering comforting word to him. Tea continued to stroke his head as she held it. Finally, his hand was done too.

"There we go Timmy. It's all over, hon," Terry announced.

"Timmy, you were very brave," Jeff praised him.

They cautiously let go of Timmy's arms and legs, one by one. He immediately crawled into Sam's arms.

"Daddy, they hurt me," Timmy whimpered.

"I know pal. I'm sorry. Daddy doesn't want you to get an infection. That would hurt a lot more than what Terry just did. That's why your boo-boos have to be kept clean."

Timmy rested his head against Sam's chest and put his first two fingers in his mouth. Sam knew he only did that when he was very upset or frightened. He hugged him close.

"Timmy, do you know that I once fell down and I had a lot of boo-boos all over my body?" Tea asked. She sat down on the bed, sandwiching Timmy in between her and Sam so she could make eye contact with Timmy.

"Uh-uh." His fingers garbled Timmy’s reply.

"One time I fell out of a window and I fell on some glass. I had a whole bunch of boo-boos and they hurt a lot. Do you know who helped them to feel better?" Timmy shook his head. "Moose," Tea informed him.

"Moose?" Timmy's eyes were wide. Tea had his attention.

"That's right. Todd and I didn't know Moose's name yet and we were talking and he told me I needed to be loose so it wouldn't hurt so much. And Moose said, 'loose as a moose.'" Timmy's faint smile and giggle were like music to Tea. She continued. "Moose heard us say it again and he kept saying 'Moose . . . Moose.'" Tea did her best to imitate Moose's voice. "We finally realized that it was his name. That is how we learned Moose, was named Moose." Tea didn't add that just as she and Todd were having that first happy and seemingly normal moment of their marriage Blair came in raging and ruined it.

"That's a good story, Tee" Timmy declared. His smile got a little bigger.

Tea went to the bathroom and got a cool washcloth. She wiped his tearstained face.

"Todd felt real bad," Timmy stated.

"About what, pal?" Sam pressed.

"About Moose leaving. He loved him a lot. When Moose flew away Todd used to go into the bathroom and cry. I used to see him, sometimes. He hided so you didn't see him, Tee. A lot of us felt real bad too. We loved Moose too."

Tea felt so sad. When they realized Moose had flown away, Todd brushed it off and made some kind of joke about Moose finding better digs and homemade clam sauce somewhere else. He never allowed Tea to see the pain he felt over losing a beloved pet.

Timmy giggled.

"What is it, bud?" Sam asked.

"Miss Perkins was afraid of Moose. She once came out while I was holding and petting Moose and he made his feathers real big and she got real scared and Moose said, 'cement overshoes.'" Timmy's giggling increased as he continued the story. "Miss Perkins made a face and said, 'naughty bird.'" Timmy continued to giggle. He pulled away from Sam and snuggled against Tea.

Tea put her arms around him and held him. She could feel his heart beating. She had a flash of the dream she had last night. For a moment her mind went to Todd. She realized that she could totally separate this child she held in her arms from the man she wanted to hold . . . in a different way.

"I'm glad Moose made your boo-boos feel better," Timmy said.

"And I'm glad that hearing about him made yours feel better," Tea responded.

Sam's cell phone rang. It was the attorney he had handed most of his cases off to. He needed some information and advice from Sam about one particular case. "Oh yeah . . . the Webster case." Sam nodded his head as he listened. Sam needed to go to his office for the information he had on that case. He knew that Viki was going to go to Susannah's office right from the cafeteria and would not be back for a while. He hesitated. "Can you hold on for a minute?" Sam said into the phone. "Tea, I need to go to the office. I'll be gone about an hour, with traffic and all. Viki's going to have that session with Susannah and . . ."

"I would love to stay with Timmy. If it's all right with you angelito?"

"Daddy. Are you going away forever?" Timmy's lower lip began to quiver.

"No way, pal. Daddy has to go to work, just for a little while. Tea would love to spend some time with you."

"I love to be with Tee," Timmy declared. He looked lovingly at Tea. She felt her heart melting. "Do you promise you'll come back?" Timmy still didn't trust that anyone he loved would come back if they were out of his sight.

Sam took Timmy from Tea. "I promise, pal. I will never leave you. Never! Now you be a good boy and do what Tea tells you. Okay?" Timmy nodded. Sam went back to his phone call. "I'll get back to you within the hour," he said into the phone. Sam called Tea over to speak with her. "If it would make you feel more comfortable Frank or one of the other techs can sit in here with you and Timmy?"

Tea didn't even need to think about it. "No. We'll be fine. I'm enjoying spending time with him."

Sam was so happy to hear that. He smiled and said, "If you need anything or something happens that you are not sure how to handle, please don't hesitate to call Frank in. He'll be posted right outside the door. I’ll let the staff know you'll be watching Timmy while I'm gone."

Tea read Timmy two stories. He then wanted to hear the "Moose Story" again. Tea had almost forgotten how children loved to hear the same stories over and over again. Suddenly Tea remembered that she had to be in court for one of her Angel Square clients. She looked at her watch and realized Sam would not be back for a while. Viki was about to go to her session with Susannah. Tea did not want to leave Timmy without any family there. She hoped her client would understand. Tea could see that Timmy was starting to get very sleepy again. He was yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Lie down angelito," Tea coaxed. She rubbed his back. Timmy was too tired to protest. He lay on his right side as Tea continued to rub his back. She watched his eyelids grow heavy with sleep. Just as he was going down, Terry stuck her head in the door. Tea put her finger to her lips to let Terry know that Timmy was drifting off.

"Mrs. Hayes is here to see Viki. When I told her Viki wasn't here she asked if Todd or an alter were out. I told her it was Timmy. She asked if she could come into see him. I told her you were with Timmy. She then asked if she could come in to say hello to you." What Terry didn't know was that Dorian wanted access to Todd's room. "Would you like her to wait?" Terry whispered.

'Dorian! Great! That's all we need!' Tea thought. Tea did not want to meet with Dorian outside the room and chance Timmy waking up and finding her gone. "Please send her in," Tea told Terry.

"Well, hel . . ." Dorian came in greeting Tea with flourish; despite Terry telling her to keep things quiet because Timmy had just gone down for a nap.

"Shhhh," Tea whispered, cutting Dorian off. "He just fell asleep." Tea pointed to the sleeping Timmy.

"Of course," Dorian responded quietly and sweetly. "How is he doing?"

"He's better. Dorian, Viki won't be back for a while and Sam had to go out. Maybe it would be best if you came back later?" Tea suggested. She hoped Dorian would take her up on it.

Before she had a chance to reply, out of the corner of her eye, Dorian noticed Viki's purse on the dresser. "Oh, that's all right dear. I'll just visit with you and sweet little Timmy until Viki gets back. Timmy and I get along very well. I know he'll be thrilled to see me when he wakes up."

Somehow Tea doubted that. Tea and Dorian sat for a few minutes. You could cut the silence with a knife. Tea looked at her watch. "He might be out for a while. They gave him some pain medication. Perhaps you'd like to get something in the cafeteria?" Tea tried again to get Dorian to leave.

"No. I'm fine dear. You go right ahead if you want something. Timmy will be fine with me. I told you, we’re pals."

Tea looked at her watch again. "Dorian will you excuse me for a few minutes. I need to make a phone call and I don't want to wake Timmy. I'll ask Frank to come stay with him."

"That won't be necessary. I can watch him. I told you. Timmy is very fond of me. Just ask Viki," Dorian insisted.

Tea knew she was only going to be gone for a few minutes. "All right. If he wakes up or there is any problem, please call in someone from the staff immediately and have them get me."

"My, don't you sound like the concerned mommy. I guess taking care of Blair's child was good practice for you," Dorian said with a sweet smile. It belied the sarcasm in her statement.

Tea chose not to get into it with her. Tea looked over at Timmy. He was sound asleep. "I'll be right back." Tea's tone was more of a warning than a statement. She went to make her phone call.

Dorian wasted no time. As soon as the door closed partially behind Tea, Dorian checked to see if Frank was watching. He was. Frank looked up every once in a while to make sure everything was all right with his patient. When Frank went back to his book, Dorian headed for Viki's purse. 'Oh Viki. You are so predictable,' Dorian thought when she realized she was right about Viki keeping the papers and the picture Dorian had brought her with her, here at the hospital.

Dorian quickly took one of the canceled checks and put it in her pocket. She held the still sealed letter from Victor to Todd in her hand. She knew Viki would notice if that was missing. If only she could get it opened, make a copy and reseal it. She knew she probably could do it at home, but not here. 'Perhaps I can think of some way to get Viki over to the house for a while?' Dorian wondered. She was checking the seal on the envelope when, in his sleep, Timmy rolled over on his left side. The pain woke him up.

"Daddy! Mommy!" he cried out. His voice was still groggy with sleep.

Dorian quickly put the letter back into Viki purse, closed it and put it back on the dresser, where she found it. "Timmy. Hello sweetheart. Do you remember me?" Timmy looked confused. Frank heard Timmy cry out and immediately stepped inside. "Everything is fine. Timmy rolled over on his wounded side. His Auntie Dorian will comfort him. Isn't that right sweetheart?"

"Timmy, do you want me to come in and sit with you?" Frank asked.

"I think Timmy would like to have a nice visit with his Auntie Dorian. Wouldn't you? Would you like to hear all about how Starr is doing?" Dorian chose a topic she knew would tempt him.

"Starr?" Timmy asked eagerly. "I love Starr."

"There you go. I think Timmy and I will be all right for a few minutes," Dorian declared.

Frank hesitated for a moment. "Hey, buddy. I'll be right outside if you need anything. Just call out to me," Frank informed Timmy. He went back to his post. He also went back to his book. However, he was keeping his ears open.

Timmy vaguely remembered Dorian. "Where're mommy and daddy and Tee? I want them. Tea was watching me. Daddy's not gone forever. Daddy's not gone forever!" Timmy was starting to panic.

Dorian didn't want Frank to come back in. "Timmy, it's all right honey. Tea went to make a phone call. She'll be right back."

"Where's daddy? Has it been a long time?"

"Has it been a long time since when?" Dorian asked gently.

"Since daddy left. He promised he wouldn't go away forever."

The tears that had welled up in Timmy's eyes spilled down his cheeks. Dorian couldn't help but feel compassion for him. "Sweetheart, your daddy will be right back and so will your mommy and Tea."

"I got stitches here . . . and here," Timmy pointed to his hand and chest.

"I know. Honey, I'm sorry you got hurt." Dorian was being genuine. It broke her heart to see this child suffer.

"Terry cleaned them and it hurt a lot. Jeff said I was brave."

"I'm sure you were," Dorian confirmed with a smile.

"I'm thirsty," Timmy announced.

Dorian poured him some water and held the cup to his lips. He took several small sips.

"Better?" Dorian posed. Timmy nodded. "Has Tea been coming to visit you a lot?" Dorian kept her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't want Frank to hear her.

"I don't think so," Timmy shrugged.

"Let's keep our voices low so we don't disturb Frank," Dorian suggested.

Afraid he'd be punished for being loud, Timmy continued the conversation in a whisper.

"I'll bet you really like it best when Blair comes to visit you. Don't you sweetheart?" Dorian tried to encourage a positive response with a big smile on her face and a slight nod of her head.

"I love Blair. She she's Starr's mommy."

"I know. I'll bet you hate being in this nasty old hospital all the time and having them do things that hurt?"

"I don't like to be hurt. Jeff said I'm brave," Timmy repeated. It was obvious Jeff's praise meant a lot to him. "Tom always got hurt real bad. He's real brave." Timmy emphasized the world "brave."

"Tom?" Dorian queried.

"He tects me so daddy don't hurt me. He gets hurt instead."

Dorian realized what he was saying. "Well, how would you like to live someplace where no one would ever hurt you?"

"No shots and no hurting my boo-boos?"

"No. Timmy, wouldn't that be good?" Dorian asked, giving him a false impression.

"I forgot your name," Timmy said shyly. He looked up at Dorian.

"You can call me Auntie Dorian, honey."

"Auntie Dorian, can I have some more water, please?"

Dorian held the cup to his lips again. When he was finished drinking, he looked her in the eyes. "Thank you, Auntie Dorian."

"You are a very well mannered little boy," Dorian complimented.

"I am?" Timmy smiled. He knew his mommy would like that.

"Yes. You certainly are." Dorian was amazed at how different from the ill-mannered Todd this young child was. "So, Timmy. Do you think you would like to leave the hospital?"

Timmy looked very confused. Thinking she was helping to pave the way for Blair, Dorian tried it another way. "Do you know that Blair and Starr are living in Todd's penthouse?" Timmy shook his head. "They are!" Dorian announced cheerfully. "And there is a room there just for you."

"There is?"

"Yes! Timmy, there is. Blair and Starr would love it if you were there."

"I love to be with Starr. We always had fun when we played together," Timmy remembered.

Dorian felt a little discomfort at that thought of Starr being left alone with a mentally ill four year old. However didn't allow that to keep her from her 'mission.' "I'm sure you and Starr had lots of very good times together. Do you want to know something that would make Starr and Blair very happy?"

Timmy nodded eagerly.

"What would make them very happy is, if someone asks you if you want to stay with them or here in this nasty old hospital and you tell them that you want to stay with Blair and Starr. That would make them both very happy."

Timmy was confused. "You mean me and mommy and daddy could live with Starr and Blair? What about Doctor Hanen? Can she live there too?"

"Uh . . . well . . . uh . . . no . . . uh . . . sweetheart. There is only room for you. You would live with Blair and Starr and you would have a nice new doctor there to take care of you. Someone very, very nice."

"No! I want mommy and daddy and Doctor Hanen. I don't want a new nice doctor. No! I want daddy. I want daddy and mommy." Timmy started to cry a little louder.

"Timmy, shhh. It's okay. No one is taking you there. I was just asking. Honey, shhh. Your daddy and mommy are coming right back. You don't have to go anywhere now. Shhhh.”

Frank walked back into the room. "You okay, Timmy?"

"He's fine. He was crying for Sam and Viki. I explained to him that they are coming right back," Dorian announced to Frank.

"She's right Timmy. Your mommy and daddy will be right back. Do you need anything buddy?" Frank offered. Timmy was calmer now. He shook his head. "Okay then bud. I'll be right outside." Frank did not trust Dorian. He returned to his seat outside the door. This time he did not even pick up his book. He kept his ears and his eyes on Timmy.

Dorian noticed this. She moved close to Timmy and whispered, "Timmy can you do me a big favor?" He nodded. "Will you keep what I just told you our little secret?"

"You mean don't even tell mommy and daddy? I'm supposed to tell them and Doctor Hanen everything. I shouldn't tell her too?" Timmy whispered back.

"That's right honey. I want it to be a surprise, just in case Blair has room for them too." She could see Timmy was still hesitant about keeping a secret from Sam, Viki and Susannah. "Timmy, do you know that I'm Starr's aunt too?" Timmy didn't know that and shook his head. "I am. I love Starr very much and I know she would want you to keep what I told you a secret so the surprise doesn't get spoiled."

"Can I tell Andy?" Timmy asked.

"Andy? Is he one of the techs or nurses?" Dorian inquired nervously.

"No," Timmy giggled. "Andy's too little for that. Andy lives inside. He's gonna live with me and mommy and daddy someday and we never have to live with our other daddy again. Andy's real sad now and he's sleeping and he don't wanna play. He don't know Starr because he was away for a long time. Daddy killded him, but he came back."

Dorian was afraid to ask Timmy what he meant by that. "Yes. You can tell Andy, but no one else. Okay, sweetheart?" Timmy nodded.

Tea came back in. She rushed over to Timmy. "Dorian, you were supposed to tell a staff member to get me if he woke up." Tea looked daggers at Dorian. "Are you all right angelito?"

"Uh-huh," Timmy replied with a nod.

"Is anything hurting you?" Tea asked.

"My boo-boos hurt a little, but not so big now. When're daddy and mommy coming back?"

"In a little while. Are you hungry?" Tea pushed.

"Will you teach me how to count chocolate pudding in Spanish again?" Timmy asked hopefully.

"You bet I will," Tea promised.

Timmy turned to Dorian. "Auntie Dorian. I get to eat it in my bird dish and if I finish it all the birds will sing. Do you wanna hear?"

"Well . . . uh . . . actually Timmy . . . I really have to be going."

"I thought you wanted to wait for Viki?" Tea commented.

"I'll catch her some other time." Dorian mumbled. She quickly gathered her things and left.

"Good," Tea muttered under her breath. She then called Frank to come sit with Timmy while she went for the dish and the pudding. Tea loved being with Timmy. She could not believe she stayed away for so long. 'Not anymore,' she thought to herself, 'not anymore.'

TO BE CONTINUED