PREVIOUSLY

"Yeah, sure I can arrange for you to see Rosen if you want to. I'm sure he'll see you. I hear he's always looking to score Brownie points with the warden. I just don't think he'll know much. Todd was never one to confide his feelings to people," Bo pointed out to Susannah when she asked him to arrange the meeting.

"I don't really expect any major disclosures. Todd did drink a lot when he and Zack were frat boys together. Maybe he let some things slip. Is the therapist Todd saw, a Ray something, still at Statesville?"

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To say Zack Rosen was surprised to be asked to meet with Todd's psychiatrist was an understatement. So I wonder what ol' Todd has done now? Zack thought to himself.

"Hi, my name is Doctor Susannah Hanen. I'm a psychiatrist. I've come to talk with you about Todd Manning. He's my patient."

"So I was told. What's Todd been up to? I heard he got this cushy psych ward gig instead of doing time for taking all those people hostage. Ol' Todd is amazing. He has more ways of getting himself in and out of trouble then anyone I've ever known. I wish he had given me some tips before he vacated the premises."

Despite Zack's try at a lighthearted tone, Susannah could hear the underlying jealousy. "Zack . . . is it all right if I call you Zack?"

"Oh sure. We don't stand on formalities here. If you really want to get chummy you can call me by my number."

Susannah was taking an immediate dislike to this young man. She proceeded with her questions. "How well did you get to know Todd? Were the two of you close? I've heard that he considered you to be his best friend in college and here at Statesville."

"Oh yes, the prison officials thought we complimented each other's personalities so they made us roomies."

Susannah could see that this might not be easy. Zack still carried a lot of resentment towards Todd. "Zack, did Todd ever talk to you about his childhood? About his father or mother?"

"Todd's father was a cold hearted bastard, but then again so was Todd, sometimes."

"Did Todd ever talk to you about him?"

"He didn't have to. I saw the two of them together. Man! You could not believe ol' Todd when he was around his dad. It was embarrassing to see."

"In what way was it embarrassing?" Susannah pressed.

"Well here's Todd, this super jock. Nothing phases him, right! Then his dad walks into the room and he turns into this scared, shaking little kid. Man, he cowered when that guy came in. Called him sir. Todd wouldn't even address the president of the university as sir. I don't know what that man did to him but Todd was scared shit . . . excuse me," Zack apologized sarcastically, ". . . scared out of his mind by his father." Zack was quiet for a second and continued. "But then again he wasn't really his father was he? No, ol' Todd even lucked out there. Some zillionaire was his father. Man, ol' Todd must have been born under a lucky star."

Susannah could understand Zack's bitterness, on a professional level. On a personal level she wanted to reach through the glass and slap him across the face.

"Did Todd talk about his mother much?"

"Hey look, I don't know why you're suddenly so interested in my Todd stories. I mean what's in it for me? I help you to help dear ol' Todd and what do I get? A gold star?"

"The warden is aware of the fact that you are helping me," Susannah assured him.

"Well I guess that's something. Hey, maybe you can teach me how to play crazy as well as Todd does and get out of here?"

Zack looked at Susannah with a smirk on his face.

Susannah said nothing.

"No? Okay, out of my devotion to my old frat brother, what more do you want to know?"

"Did Todd talk about his mother much?" Susannah repeated.

"Mostly when he got drunk, which was a lot. He got all weird when he spoke about her."

"Weird how?" <> "I don't know . . . he . . . would change. His voice would change and his mood. He got all soft and fuzzy. Sometimes he would talk about her coming back like he didn't know she was dead. Sometimes he would cry out for her in his sleep. Man, how Todd hated to sleep. He used to keep me up half the night just pacing in the cell. He once kept cutting himself with a piece of glass he found in the exercise yard just to keep from falling asleep. I could understand it, though. Every time he fell asleep he'd have all these nightmares and would wake up shaking and crying and sometimes screaming. That was only sometimes though. That was the weird part about Todd. You could never tell which Todd was going to be around. The scared kid Todd or the Todd who didn't give a shit . . . excuse me again Doctor . . . who he hurt to get what he wanted, even if it was himself. Most of the time Todd was as tough as they come here and didn't take crap off of anyone. He was always getting into someone's face, always looking for a way out of here. Man, he bashed his head into the wall; he burned his hand under the hot water, he OD'd just to get out of here. It's a shame he didn't know all he had to do was be nice to two little kids. He could have saved a lot of wear and tear on the old bod," Zack joked bitterly.

"Did Todd ever mention Charles Heath, his stepfather?" Susannah inquired. <> Zach thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, one time at the frat house he was really wasted and he got that funny voice and started talking about his mom. He started crying and said, 'I heard him tell her. He told her he didn't want me there either. I tried to be good. I tried. I wanted him to like me. He liked mama. He wasn't mean to her, but he didn't like me either. No one likes me cause I'm bad. Mama didn't want me there. She didn't tell him she wanted me there. She said, she'd take care of this.' Then he kind of curled into this ball and really started to cry and acted like he was seeing his mother. He begged her to let him stay. He kept crying that he was scared. Then he just stopped. "

Zack shrugged and continued. "I guess he passed out. I'll tell you, I really hated it when he got like that. I liked the mean, drunk Todd a whole lot better then the pathetic one."

"Did he ever mention a summerhouse?" Susannah asked.

"You mean the one he kidnapped Rebecca Lewis to?"

"Yes," Susannah replied.

"Yeah, he spoke about it. Only I didn't know he was talking about that house until after they caught him there. He used to talk about the best six days in his life. He said he once got to spend six days with his mother. They did all kinds of things together and the one thing he spoke about the most was going to an amusement park with her. I remember one other weird thing he said about that. I once asked him if it was fun and he said, 'It was safe.' I thought that was a really odd thing to say about a summer vacation."

"Did Todd ever mention someone named Michelle to you?" Susannah continued her questions.

"No, but I think he once called out that name in a dream. I remember thinking she was some chick ol' Todd never told his good buddy Zack about. I meant to ask him about her but I forgot."

"Did he ever mention anything about being in the woods or about being cold or a loud noise or a red room or a bat?" Susannah could see a surprised look on Zack's face.

"Jesus! I forgot all about that. How'd you know? Oh, that's right. You're a shrink. You get paid to know. Yeah, Todd once had like the worst nightmare of his life. I mean even the house mother came running up to his room he was screaming so bad and those are some of the things he was screaming about. When she tried to wake him up he just kept screaming about being cold and about it being too loud and not wanting to be in the red room. He kept screaming that it hurt. He was screaming something like, 'Not here! Mama took me for a picnic here. Not here! I can't tell him mama took me for a picnic.' Alice, the housemother, was going to call a doctor when Todd just snapped out of it. Man, was he embarrassed when he saw all the faces staring at him from outside the door. He had no idea what had just happened and he was really freaked. Funny, but I forgot all about that until you just mentioned it. Well, Doc, did I do well? Do I get a glowing report from you telling the warden how helpful I was?"

"Thank you Zack. Yes, you have been helpful. I'm going to leave my card with the guard outside. If you think of anything else that you may have forgotten please call me. My service can always get a hold of me." Susannah stood up.

"Hey! Don't forget to tell ol' Todd his good buddy Zack says hello. Tell him how well I'm doing rotting away here while he lives the good life."

"Thanks again," Susannah said coldly. She handed her card to the guard to give Zack and she left." A Picnic, she thought, If I can get Todd or one of the alters to remember where his mother used to take him for a picnic, maybe we would know also find out where Michelle is buried?

Tom was out and in the day room with Sam when Susannah got back. The girls had apparently gone back to their mother as Todd's body slept. Sam had brought Tom some pizza. Susannah notice only a couple of bites had been eaten before it was pushed away. Sam and Tom were sitting on the floor putting together a 3D Camelot puzzle.

"Wow! That's really something," Susannah praised as she looked at the puzzle.

"You came back!" Tom exclaimed. He jumped up and hugged Susannah.

"Of course I came back. Honey, didn't you know I would?"

Tom shrugged his shoulders and confessed, "I thought you went far away and I wouldn't be able to find you."

"Noooo. Tom, I promise, I will always come back. When you and Sam finish your puzzle, would you like to come to my office and talk to me some more?"

"I was there a long time ago . . ." Tom was confused with time again. Then he remembered his watch. He pressed the button and a voice gave the date and time. "It was only this morning that I was there?" He seemed surprised.

Susannah was glad that the watch she bought him was helping him establish his time frames a little better. "That's right honey. It was just this morning. It seems like a long time ago to me too," Susannah admitted.

Tom thought for a moment and then, smiling at his ability to remember it, he said, "I brought my truck, right?"

"That's right. If you like you can bring it back with you again," Susannah suggested.

Tom and Sam finished the puzzle and he got his truck and went to Susannah's office with her. Sam and Viki took the opportunity to go to the cafeteria.

Tom was looking at a new plant Susannah had in her office. It came while she was out. Larry Wolek had sent it over.

"Is it going to grow up to be real big?" Tom asked.

"I hope so," Susannah replied.

"Me too."

"You too what, honey?"

"I'm going to grow up to be real big and real strong. If you're real big too then big people can't hurt you."

"I'll bet it's really scary to be little and to have someone real big hurt you," Susannah stated and then asked, "Tom do you think your dad was once a little boy and someone big hurt him?"

"No, my dad was always big," Tom responded.

"It probably seemed that way, but once your dad was a little boy too. Do you remember your grandpa?"

"Grandpa Ed?"

"That's right. Do you remember when he used to come visit you and your mom and dad?"

Tom nodded.

"Did you like it when he came to visit?"

"He brought me a book about Florida and a tea shirt with a dolphin on it. I wanted to take the book to school for show and tell."

"Did you?" Susannah inquired.

Tom looked down and shook his head.

"How come you didn't?" Susannah pressed.

Tom didn't answer her.

"Tom, you can tell me. It's okay. Why didn't you take the book to school?" Susannah persisted.

"My hand hurts," Tom started crying. He was holding his right hand limply and waving it back and forth.

"Tom, tell me what happened to your hand. How did it get hurt?"

"It got held in the fire. It hurts! It hurt's!" He sobbed in anguish.

Susannah reached for his hand but he pulled it back. "Noooo! Don't touch it. It's burned. It'll hurt if you touch it."

"Honey shhhhh. Your hand isn't burned. That happened a long time ago," Susannah tried to orient him.

"It hurts," Tom insisted.

"I know it feels like it just got burned. Tom, look around. There's no fire here."

Tom pointed to one of the walls in Susannah's office. "There's the fireplace. It's over there."

"Tom, describe the room to me," Susannah asked.

Tom's description matched a picture he had once drawn of the living room of the Chicago house he grew up in. Susannah knew he was caught between the present and a flashback of how his hand got burned.

"Tom, you are in my office. Honey you are not back in the house you grew up in. There is no fireplace here and no one is burning your hand."

"Yes they are. They're holding my hand in the fire. They made me burn the presents Grandpa brought and now they're holding my hand in the fire," Tom cried in between yelps of pain.

Tom's hand was out straight in front of him, as if it were being held in that position.

"Who's 'they' Tom? Who's holding your hand in the fire?"

"The bad hands are," Tom answered. His face scrunched up in pain.

"No, honey, listen to me," Susannah put her arm around him and gently stroking his head. "You are in my office. Only you and I are in here. The bad hands aren't here. There is no fireplace. That was in the house in Chicago. Tom who am I?"

He looked at her for a minute. He looked confused. Susannah could tell he was having trouble figuring out who she was. He was getting caught more and more in the flashback and the reality of her office was slipping away.

Susannah took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. "Tom, it's Doctor Hanen. I want you to look at me and tell me who I am."

"Doctor Hanen is far away," Tom wept.

"No honey, it just seems that way because a part of you is back in your old house." Susannah took his "uninjured" left hand and put it on her right cheek. "Tom do you feel my face?"

He hesitated for a minute and then nodded.

"I'm right here Tom. You can feel my face. Try to pull yourself to me. Pull away from the room with the fireplace."

It took another couple of minutes. Susannah could see Tom struggling to leave the Chicago house for the safety of her office. Finally he relaxed a little. He still held his hand in an awkward position. Tom cautiously held his hand out for Susannah to see. She gently took it in both of hers.

"It's burned," Tom wept. He winced in pain.

"Tom I'm going to rub my hand over yours and when I do it will be all healed and it will stop hurting," Susannah suggested.

Susannah held his hand in her left one and gently rubbed her right hand over it.

Tom looked surprised. "It stopped hurting. You fixed it!" Tom put his head on Susannah's shoulder and added, "I wish you were my mom."

"Tom I would be very proud to be your mom. Do you know you're very special?"

"I am?" Tom couldn't believe that.

"Yes honey you are. You're very, very smart and you're talented. You draw very well. You are the best video game player in the whole world . . ."

"I am?" Tom asked, with a giant smile on his face.

"You certainly are. Everyone is very proud of you," Susannah assured him.

"Do you think Coach is proud of me?"

"Oh Tom, Sam is very proud of you and he loves you very, very much. He says so all the time."

"He does?" Tom asked, with amazement in his voice.

"He does, honey. So does Viki. Everyone loves you. You are a very good boy."

Tom became sad. "How come my dad hates me? I love him. I wish I knew how to be good enough for him to love me?"

Tom suddenly pulled away from Susannah. The laugh Susannah heard chilled her to the bone.

"Very good Doctor. Very good," he said, applauding. "You really got that stupid child to believe you. I hope Todd's sister is paying you enough."

Susannah would know that face and voice anywhere. "He should believe me. Sam and Viki do wish they were Tom's parents. They love all the children and Todd very much. They are very proud of them."

"Oh, and they do have so much to be proud of, " he stated sarcastically. "Let's see if I can count the ways? Are they proud of the fact that he is locked in a loony bin? Or perhaps it's his illustrious prison record? Or maybe his successful marriages?"

"Are you the one who came out the other day? The day Todd was having a session with Ryan?" Susannah asked.

"What do you think!" He sneered.

"I think you are," Susannah confirmed.

"Well you must have graduated at the head of your class," he snapped sarcastically. He once again, checked his pockets.

"There are no cigarettes," Susannah informed him.

"Oh yes, we wouldn't want Todd to develop any habits that might ruin his health," he remarked sarcastically and laughed to himself.

"Do you have a name?" Susannah inquired.

"Doesn't everyone?" He feigned innocence.

"Are you Saber?" Susannah guessed.

He looked at her coldly. "You don't want to know too much about me, Doctor, for your own sake."

"I think I'll take my chances," Susannah responded.

"Well! She has an attitude." he commented with a cold smile.

"Are you Saber?" Susannah repeated.

"Why do you encourage that stupid child to believe things that aren't true? Is that your idea of being kind?" Saber asked.

"Tom is loved by everyone and Viki and Sam do wish they were his parents," Susannah insisted.

"They wouldn't if they knew him."

"I think they know him quite well," Susannah stated firmly.

"Do they know that he and the others have been a curse to the world since the day they were born?" Saber asked coldly.

"Why do you hate Tom and Todd and the others so much? What have they done to you?"

"They still exist. They breathe. They walk the earth. That is reason enough," Saber replied.

"No, that is not a reason to hate someone. What specifically did Todd and the others do to you?" Susannah pressed.

"Todd's going to end up going back to prison you know. Pretty clever of me, wouldn't you say?"

Susannah looked at him closely. There really was no anger in his eyes, just hatred. "No, Saber, if that's your name. I don't think it was clever of you. If Todd goes to jail, so do you. If Todd or any of the others die, so do you."

"I always have my means of escape," he bragged.

"You may believe that, but you are in Todd's body. Whatever happens to Todd's body, happens to you."

"Are you sure you don't happen to have a cigarette hidden around here somewhere?" Saber looked around the room.

"Yes I'm sure," Susannah replied.

"Perhaps I can get Sam to bring me some? He will do anything for his son," Saber placed a sarcastic emphasis on the word son.

"He won't do that," Susannah stated calmly and firmly.

"And why is that Doctor?" Saber's tone was that of being amused, rather than angry.

"Because I don't want Todd to smoke. He has too many other medical conditions to be harming his body that way."

"Oh, I see. So you are in charge of Todd's body. You think your will can keep him alive." Saber looked directly into Susannah's eyes.

"I think I can certainly try," Susannah responded.

Saber smiled coldly. "That's fine. There is only one problem with that, Doctor Hanen. I have a will too and if we put them up against each other, I think you will lose."

"Oh that horrible man. Doctor Hanen, you must protect Todd and the children from him."

"Miss Perkins?" The sudden switch shocked Susannah.

"Yes. I am sorry to come unannounced but I had to warn you. Saber is very dangerous. Please keep him away from Todd and my children."

"Miss Perkins, I'm happy that you came out. I have been wanting to speak with you. Would you like to sit down?"

"I'm afraid I really don't have the time now. I just came to warn you."

"Please Miss Perkins. I just have a few questions I need to ask you."

"All right dear, but just a few. The children are alone."

"I'll make it brief. Miss Perkins, since the last time I spoke with you many other people," Susannah remembered Miss Perkins was offended by the term alters, "who live with Todd have come forward. You didn't seem to be aware of many of them."

"I have certain responsibilities. I care very much for the children I take care of." Miss Perkins' feelings were hurt. She felt Susannah doubted her ability to care for her children.

Susannah realized this. "Yes, I know you do and you have done a wonderful job of keeping them safe. I'm just a little confused and I thought you might be able to help me get some things straight in my mind," Susannah explained.

"I'll do my best to help you, dear," Miss Perkins offered.

"Miss Perkins, do you know Goodone and Carol?"

"No, dear, I don't."

"What about Scared and Braver or Lisa and Sarah?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know them either. I really must me going now." Miss Perkins was clearly in a rush to leave.

"Wait, just one more minute, please, Miss Perkins."

"All right dear, one minute, but then I must get back."

"Thank you," Susannah replied and quickly continued. "When Todd goes away do you know where he is?"

"He hides. I'm sure I told you that long ago. My memory may not be what it used to be. However I do remember telling you that."

"Yes, Miss Perkins, you did. I was just wondering if you had any idea where Todd goes when he hides?"

"No dear, I'm sorry I don't. Occasionally, if he is not hiding too far away, I can get him to show himself, but that is rare."

"Do you know Thomas?" Susannah asked.

"Thomas is not one of my children. I do know him," Miss Perkins admitted and then confessed, "I do not like my children to associate with him."

"Why is that?" Susannah pressed.

"My children get hurt enough. I don't want them to get hurt any more than they have to."

"What does Thomas do that would cause your children to be hurt more than they have been?" Susannah inquired.

"Thomas is very angry. He is a bad influence on my children. I prefer not to discuss him."

"All right, just one more question. Do you know Andy?" Susannah studied Miss Perkins closely for her reaction.

TO BE CONTINUED

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