"Honey, I would really like it if you tell me why you're so angry this morning," Susannah pushed. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

Thomas pulled away from her touch as he had from Sam's.

"Do you think you're being punished? Is that why you're sitting in the corner?" Susannah persisted.

Thomas folded his arms around each other and hunched over slightly. The wall he was looking at blurred before his eyes. Susannah's voice faded away from his consciousness. He lowered his head.

"He's mad because he had to stay with us last night; because papa was taking care of Todd," This new voice said.

"Do I know you?" Susannah asked.

"No, ma'am, you don't."

"You don't know me either," another voice said.

"Can you tell me your names?" Susannah asked.

"My name is Lisa."

"And I'm Sarah."

"Both" girls stood up and faced Susannah and Sam.

The other twins, Susannah thought.

"Hello girls. This is Sam, and I'm Susannah Hanen. I'm your doctor."

"We know. We saw you from inside," Lisa stated.

"It sure looks a lot bigger," Sarah commented as she looked around.

"What does, Sarah?" Susannah inquired.

"The room. It looked itty bitty from inside."

"Is this the first time you girls have been out?" Susannah continued her questions.

"We used to come out, but we haven't for a long time now," Lisa replied.

"Do you both know Todd?"

"Yes we do, ma'am." Lisa replied.

"Do you know Miss Perkins?"

"No ma'am, we don't," Lisa again answered for both of them.

"You mentioned papa. Is that Goodone?" Susannah inquired

"He's our daddy," Sarah volunteered.

"Do you have a mother?" Susannah asked.

"Her name is Carol. She loves us because we're girls. She loves us a lot." Lisa emphasized the words "a lot."

"Mama doesn't know we came out. She's taking care of Thomas. He's real mad because Papa has to take care of Todd. So we snuck out," Sarah explained and smiled. Her hands were clasped behind her back and her body swung playfully to the right and left.

"Will Carol be angry with you for sneaking out?" Susannah was concerned.

Lisa started to twirl a strand of Todd's hair around her finger as she answered Susannah's question. "Carol never gets mad at us. She's a good mama. She won't ever go away. She loves us."

"How old are you both?" Sam asked.

"We're both ten, but I'm an older ten. I got born first. Sarah came right after me," Lisa explained.

"Do you remember what Todd was doing on the day you both were born?" Susannah pressed.

"Todd was saying goodbye to his mama and he had to go on a plane all by himself. Todd had to go back to his daddy. He woke up and got scared because he was at the airport and he didn't remember his mama taking him there."

"That's because she took Braver and Scared there," Sarah interrupted.

"I was telling the story, Sarah!" Lisa scolded.

"Sorry," Sarah apologized.

"Todd's mama," Lisa continued, "hugged him real tight and kissed him and said, 'You be my brave boy and you go show daddy what a big boy you really are. You can ride on a plane all by yourself. Tom, I know how much you hate living with Daddy, but you are a brave boy. You just do whatever Daddy tells you. Don't say no and don't try to stop him. When you're all grown up you can leave and do what you want.'"

Lisa took hold of Sarah's hand. "We could hear everything Todd and his mama said from inside. Remember Sarah?"

"We could hear everything!" Sarah confirmed.

Lisa let go of Sarah's hand and continued to talk. "Todd said, 'Please Mama, I won't be grown up for so long. Please don't send me back. If you let me stay with you I'll be so good. I'll do real good in school. I'll be real, real quiet. You don't even have to buy me any toys or books or clothes and I won't eat much. Please Mama! Daddy hates me.' Then his mama said, 'I know how hard it is for you. Darling, I do know. It won't be, as long as you think until you're old enough to leave. Think you're somewhere else when you're with Daddy. Tom, if you pretend hard enough you can feel like you're somewhere else.' Todd started to cry and said, 'But where I want to be is with you, mama.' Todd's mama hugged him real hard and said, 'I know you do, Tom. Oh, I know you do. It breaks my heart not to keep you, but darling I can't.' Todd said, 'Because Charles don't like me either.' Todd's mama said, 'Daddy will try to hurt me if I keep you. You wouldn't want that would you?' Todd shook his head and started to cry harder. His mama said, 'Tom, try not to cry in front of Daddy. It will make him hurt you more. You know how angry Daddy gets if he thinks you're crying like a little girl.' Then Todd's mama heard a voice in the air and she said, 'You have to get on the plane now.' She took Todd to the plane. It . . ."

"It was real big!" Sarah spoke up, holding her arms away from each other as far as they could go. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand and said, "I'm sorry, Lisa. You were telling the story."

"It was real big," Lisa repeated, giving Sarah and annoyed look.

Susannah and Sam exchanged glances and smiles.

"Then what happened?" Susannah asked.

"Todd started to go up on the plane. He looked back at his mama and he went away and I got born. Then Sarah got born."

"I'm thirsty. Can I have a drink of water?" Sarah requested.

"Sarah, It's not polite to ask for something. Wait until it's offered," Lisa admonished her sister and then turned to Susannah. "Sorry, ma'am. I'm trying to teach her to be polite."

Sarah hung her head and blushed. "I'm sorry. I was thirsty," Sarah apologized.

Susannah put her arm around them and explained. "Girls, I know it is important to have good manners and to be polite, but around here I would like it if both of you ask for whatever you want and say whatever is on your mind. If either of you think of something or if something just pops into you mind you can just say it out loud."

"I don't think Carol would like us to do that, ma'am," Lisa insisted.

"We even have to be nice when Todd's daddy . . ."

"SARAH!" Lisa shouted, cutting her sister off. She gave Sarah a look that let her know she said the wrong thing.

Sarah looked away nervously and asked, "Can we look at the toys?" She then added for her sister's benefit, "The lady said it was okay to ask."

"Sure you can play with the toys," Susannah answered and then told them, "Girls, a very nice nurse named Terry is going to stay with you while Sam and I go outside for just a few minutes." Susannah wanted to speak with Sam and wait to speak with Viki before she walked in on them.

"We'll behave ourselves, ma'am." Lisa politely assured Susannah.

"I know you will, but I would like Terry to stay with you, okay?"

"Okay," Sarah responded more casually.

Susannah asked Terry to please get them some water and to sit with them.

Just as Sam and Susannah stepped outside they saw Viki being buzzed on to the unit.

"How is he? Did Todd wake up?" Viki asked the second she saw them.

"No, Thomas woke up this morning. He seemed angry from the moment he woke up. He gave Frank a pretty hard time. He was very angry with me too. Then the other twins came out, the girls," Sam filled Viki in.

"Oh dear Lord," Viki exclaimed. "What are they like?"

"Their names are Lisa and Sarah. Lisa seems a little formal and a little bossy towards Sarah," Susannah informed Viki. She smiled at the thought of the girls and continued. "Being polite and well mannered is extremely important to Lisa. She seems to think that something bad will happen if the wrong thing is said or if they ask for anything. She scolded Sarah for asking for a drink of water. Sarah is more easy-going. She started to open up a little and Lisa stopped her. It seems Carol takes them care of, mostly. They said Thomas was angry because Goodone was with Todd. I guess Thomas wanted his attention and his nurturing and became jealous and angry when Todd got most of it. According to Lisa, they first came out at the airport when Todd's mother put him on the plane to send him back to Peter."

"Barbara kept telling Todd what a brave boy he was. She encouraged him pretend to be somewhere else. She told him to do whatever Peter wanted and not to say no. She told him not to cry, 'like a little girl' in front of Peter," Sam added bitterly.

Viki shook her head in disgust. She could not believe a mother could act that way. "Are the girls out now?" Viki asked.

"At least as of a few minutes ago," Susannah replied and added, "The way Todd has been switching of late you never know."

They all went back into Todd's room. Lisa and Sarah were playing with some of the stuffed animals. Viki heard two different voices doing two different animal voices.

"Well, I'm glad to see you girls found something you like to play with." Susannah kneeled down to where they sat near the toy box and said.

"You don't have too many good toys for us here," Sarah complained.

"SARAH! That was rude! You're going to get us sent away!" Lisa chastised Sarah.

Sarah put her head down as tears slowly trickled from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just like dolls better than stuffed animals. Don't be mad at me," Sarah begged Susannah.

"Oh sweetheart, that's okay. You and Lisa can say whatever you feel like saying. I don't want you to watch what you say. I want you both to say whatever thoughts pop into your mind," Susannah assured them both.

"Are you going to send us away?" Sarah asked. She was still crying.

"No. Absolutely not! You girls can stay for as long as you like," Susannah promised, soothingly.

Sarah wiped her nose and felt the tube. "Is there something stuck to my face?" She was horrified and panicking.

Susannah took her hands down from her face and explained, "Sarah, Lisa, Todd's body has a feeding tube in it because no one is eating enough." Then Susannah asked them, "I want you girls to promise me that you won't touch the tube or try to pull it out. Will you both promise me that?"

"Yes, ma'am, I promise," Lisa said.

"Sarah, what about you?" Susannah prompted.

"Does it make me ugly, like Todd?" Sarah asked.

"Sarah, Todd's not ugly. Todd is very nice looking," Susannah stated.

"Todd's daddy always told him he was ugly and funny looking. He says he hated the sight of him," Sarah confessed.

"Sarah, Todd's daddy was wrong," Susannah said firmly.

"Am I pretty?" Sarah asked.

"Very pretty," Susannah answered and said, "In fact I would like it very much if you girls would draw a picture of yourselves for me. Do you both like to draw?"

They both nodded.

"I like to paint with water colors," Lisa stated.

"I like markers and crayons and pencils," Sarah piped up.

"We have an art room here with all kinds of paints. There are no pencils, but there are plenty of crayons and markers. Would you girls like to go there and draw some pictures of yourselves?"

"How come there's no pencils?" Sarah asked,

"Sweetheart, pencils are sharp and someone could hurt themselves with them. So we don't keep pencils around, but I know there are lots and lots of markers and every color crayon you could think of. So would you girls like to go to the art room?"

They looked at each other and Lisa spoke for both of them. "Yes, ma'am, we would."

"Lisa, honey, you don't have to call me ma'am."

" Mama Carol says we have to be polite. Todd's mama said that too," Lisa explained.

"Todd's mama said you should never look in a lady's purse because it's private," Sarah said.

"And you should never yell at people or ask for things before they offer them to you," Lisa added.

"Well you know what? You have special permission here to yell if you feel like it and to ask for whatever you want," Susannah informed them.

Lisa and Sarah exchanged looks again. They were not sure if the things Susannah were telling them was okay to do really were.

"Girls, would you like to meet Todd's sister?" Susannah offered.

They both nodded.

"Lisa, Sarah, this is Viki."

Sarah whispered something to Lisa.

"It's not nice to whisper in front of someone," Lisa scolded.

Once again Sarah put her head down.

"Lisa . . . honey I know you mean well, but it's okay, for Sarah to ask you something privately if she wants to," Susannah explained.

"She wanted to know if Viki was our sister too," Lisa said.

"How come you're old and not a little girl?" Sarah asked for herself. "So, are you our sister?" Sarah asked.

"Sarah," Lisa explained patiently, "Todd's daddy is not our daddy and Todd's mama is not our mama so Viki can't be our sister."

"You girls don't consider Todd's parents to be yours?" Susannah needed clarification.

"NO!" Sarah said, getting slightly agitated. "Goodone and Carol are our daddy and mama."

"That's right ma'am," Lisa confirmed, "They love us a whole bunch and they never yell or hurt us. Mama teaches us stuff and papa touches us nice."

"Is he Todd's daddy now?" Sarah pointed to Sam.

"I wish I were Todd's daddy and I feel like I am. I love him very, very much, but no, I am not actually Todd's daddy," Sam admitted.

"Todd thought his mama's new husband would want to be his daddy, but he didn't," Lisa stated casually.

"Did that make Todd feel bad?" Susannah asked.

"When he heard him say it," Sarah said.

"Todd's stepfather told Todd that he didn't like him?" Susannah needed clarity.

"No, he said it to Todd's mama and Todd heard. He told her he didn't want Todd to stay with them. He said he didn't want all the trouble Todd's being there would cause. Todd's mama said maybe they could try it for just a little while but he said no. Todd's mama said she'd take care of it," Lisa spoke without emotion.

"Todd hid an arrowhead he found outside behind the bricks in the front room so it would always be like he was really there. He thought if he left it there he cold find his way back someday," Sarah explained, then asked, "Can we go draw now?" Sarah twirled Todd's pajama top around her finger.

"Sure," Susannah agreed and walked them to the art room.

Susannah, Viki and Sam went to the lounge while the girls stayed in the art room with Laura.

"They are pretty amazing," Sam declared.

"Absolutely," Susannah agreed and said, "I can't believe how much valuable information I learned from them. They are both articulate and emotionally detached enough from some of Todd's memories to be able to speak about them calmly."

"Lisa seems to be a little afraid of saying the wrong thing," Viki observed.

"Yes, apparently Todd must have felt if he had only been better behaved or more polite then maybe his mother would have kept him," Susannah speculated.

"From what they said Barbara tried to drum good manners into their head. Can you believe with all that child was going through she thought that was important!" Viki noted the irony of it. "It's funny, because in most ways Todd is not what you would call well mannered," Viki continued. "In fact he can be quiet ill mannered, but I have seen that part of him, the little boy wanting to be polite to please the adults part."

"Todd must have been devastated when he heard Barbara and Charles Heath talking about him that way. It must have been bad enough for him to realize that this man didn't like or want him but the fact that Barbara hardly defended him . . . that she said, 'she'd take care of it,'" Sam said remarked in disgust.

"My God, what must have gone through that child's mind?" Viki asked, sadly.

"It certainly must have reinforced the idea that he wasn't worth loving or caring about. Here was another father rejecting him," Susannah theorized.

"Todd was so desperate for a father's love that he wanted it from someone who was, basically a total stranger and that bastard just threw it back in his face," Sam pointed out angrily.

"I remember one time Rebecca said something to Powell about Todd looking for that arrowhead the minute he came into the summer house. He did find his way back there," Viki remembered. Her eyes welled up with tears.

"What is interesting is the pattern Barbara had of encouraging Todd to dissociate. I'm sure she didn't realize that's what she was doing. It seems from the time he was a baby she told him to pretend to be elsewhere," Susannah commented.

"It was almost as if she were teaching him how to go away in his head," Sam realized.

"In a way she was. I wonder if Barbara didn't have a dissociative disorder. Yes, she used alcohol to escape, I know. I have a feeling her need to escape may have needed more help than the alcohol could provide. She may have had posttraumatic stress disorder as well," Susannah theorized.

"Even if she did, how could she have put that boy on a plane, by himself, and sent him back to the torture she knew awaited him? Susannah, none of them have told you what happened to Todd after he came home. He defied Peter. He chose his mother and her second husband against him. I can't bear to think about what Peter must have done to him once he got him home," Viki said, shuddering.

"Are you planning on asking them that question. Do you think the girls are the ones who walked back into that house with Peter?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. I may try to lead into that and see the kind of reaction I get. Sarah is a little easier to read. Lisa seems to be covering up her feelings."

"Why do you think it is that Todd split into girls at that point? Do you think it was some kind of sexual identity crisis?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so. Not in the way you mean. One of the girls said Carol liked them because they were girls. Maybe Todd got the idea that if he were a girl his mother would love him more or want to keep him. It is really too soon to know for sure but that would be my educated guess," Susannah replied and looked at her watch.

"It's almost time for him to have another feeding. Let's go see how the girls are doing, Susannah suggested.

When they walked into the art room. They saw that the girls had put "their" head down on "their" arms, which were resting on the table. They had fallen asleep.

"They just fell asleep a few minutes ago. I figured you'd be back soon and I didn't want to disturb them," Laura informed Susannah.

"Did they draw pictures of themselves?" Susannah asked.

"Sure did," Laura said. She handed Susannah two pieces of paper.

The quality of their work amazed Susannah, Sam and Viki. Some of the other alters drew very well. These pictures were artist quality. Especially the watercolor Lisa had done. The picture that Lisa signed showed a thin, plain-looking girl with long blond hair and sad brown eyes. She was dressed in a brown jumper and wore brown socks and brown shoes. Everything was very plain and nondescript.

The picture Sarah signed showed a short, very pretty, slightly chubby girl with curly brown hair and lively blue eyes. She had on jeans and a sweater. Her hand was reaching up and holding on to an adult hand. All you could see was the hand and part of the arm. You could not tell who the adult was.

"Did you know Todd was such a talented artist?" Laura asked Sam and Viki?"

"No, we didn't," Viki admitted. She was in awe of her brother's gift.

Susannah looked at her watch again. "I'd better wake them," She announced.

Susannah kneeled down to where they sat and gently stroked their head. "Girls, it's time to wake up. Sarah, Lisa, you need to wake up now." Susannah knew Todd's body was probably worn out from the day's disclosures. "Lisa, Sarah, come on girls. Open your eyes," Susannah called to them as she gently shook them.

Finally they stirred and looked at her. "Sarah doesn't feel so well," Lisa informed Susannah.

"Sarah, can you tell me what's wrong?" Susannah prodded.

"I feel sleepy all over and my head hurts," Sarah complained.

"Honey, what do you mean by sleepy all over?"

"It's hard to get up and move around," Sarah tried to explain.

"She's real tired ma'am," Lisa added, sounding very tired herself.

"Would you two like to go back to Todd's room now and take a nap?" Susannah proposed.

"Yes ma'am. I think we would like that. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, sweetheart," Susannah responded and stroked her hair.

Susannah helped them back to Todd's room. Viki and Sam waited in the lounge.

"They fell asleep as soon as their head hit the pillow. Terry is in there now. She started the noon feeding and they didn't even stir. I think they'll will probably sleep for at least a few hours," Susannah informed Sam and Viki.

"Todd's body is still very weak, isn't it?" Viki asked. Susannah looked at her watch again and said. "I'm going out for a few hours. I think this may be my lucky day for uncovering events from Todd's past."

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"To pay a visit to Zack Rosen."

TO BE CONTINUED

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