"Our mother looked like she was going to fall but she got down on her knees and said, 'Peter please, I'm begging you! Just one minute. Let me wait here for him. You can stay in the room. I don't have to see him alone. Please! Just one minute before I die. You can't hate me that much.' Todd's dad didn't say anything and then he grabbed our mother up by her coat and pushed her out the door."

Jimmy was now crying so hard that his breath was coming in short gasps, but he continued. "He pushed her so hard she fell down. I saw her fall down just as the door closed. I wanted to go to her but everything hurt so much I couldn't move. He hurt her! She was so sick and he hurt her and I didn't help her and Todd didn't help her and she went away and she died. She died because we didn't help her."

*************************************************************************************************************

Viki and Sam sat in Susannah's office listening to the tape Susannah made of Todd's last sessions. Sam sat very still, his face pale and his fists clenched, the knuckles white. Viki also sat quietly, as tears fell on her cheeks.

"Was there no limit to the evilness in that man?" Viki asked, and then said, "How could my father have given an innocent baby to that man? How could he have just handed him over without finding out what kind of monster he was? My God! Was he that desperate to get rid of Todd that he never bothered to find out what Peter was?"

Then a horrible thought occurred to Viki. "What if my father did know what kind of man Peter was? Victor Lord was not a careless man. He wasn't one not to know what he was getting into. What if he knew what Peter was and turned Todd over to him anyway?"

"Viki, there is no point in speculating. I don't think we will ever know the answer to that," Susannah reasoned and then turned to Sam and asked, "Did you have any idea that Todd's mother came to see him before she died?"

"No, he never said a word. I mean he was already acting so strange and different from the way he had been before his birthday. I don't know if I would have noticed Jimmy coming out except . . . oh God!" Sam apparently remembered something.

"What is it Sam? Do you remember something?" Susannah asked.

"I used to let Todd play in my car. He liked to pretend he was driving it. I kept it parked in the community center garage. One day I went down to my car to get him and the motor had been left on and he was unconscious. I got him out into the fresh air in time and he was okay. He told me he didn't remember what had happened. He said he probably turned the motor on and left it on too long. God! I was so stupid!" Sam exclaimed, hitting his forehead with his right palm.

Sam continued, "That kid was screaming out for help in every way he could and I never heard him."

Viki patted Sam's hand and tried to comfort him. "Sam, you did the best you could. You had a wife and two small children and a career. No one is blaming you for not being able to devote your life to Todd."

"I'm blaming me!" Sam's blue eyes blazed with anger and regret.

Susannah spoke up, "I didn't play this tape in order to make either of you feel guilty. I wanted you to know what had happened to Todd and I wanted to ask you both if you have any information about a few things that Todd said. Do you know what Peter meant when he said 'So you can take it all away from me,' what was he talking about?"

Viki took a deep breath to calm herself before she spoke. "My father handled Todd's adoption the same way he handled everything else. He paid someone to take a problem off his hands. Peter Manning was very well paid for taking Todd. In addition to that, after Todd turned eighteen, he stole nearly a quarter of a million dollars a year from Todd's inheritance. I imagine that was the reason Peter stopped at torture and never killed Todd," Viki's voice as cold as ice.

Susannah then filled Sam and Viki in on some of the things she learned on her trip to Chicago. They were both left speechless by everything Susannah told them. "I know everything you're finding out today is a lot to take in and I'm sorry to hit you with all of this at once, but if we are to put Todd together we have to start putting the pieces together first," Susannah explained.

"Dear Lord, could my father have known that Peter and Barbara had a child taken away from them because she was being abused and still handed Todd over to them?" Viki wondered out loud, her voice shaking.

"I never even heard of Doctor Evans. I don't think Peter ever took him to a doctor. He was probably afraid that they would spot the abuse, and his teachers. If only I had compared notes with them maybe I would have figured something out," Sam added. They could see the tears in his eyes.

"There's something else Doctor Evans said. Viki this may be hard for you to hear and I'm sorry for that. Doctor Evans said he saw signs of sexual abuse. Evans never treated Todd after Barbara left, so apparently the abuse started long before Todd was nine years old," Susannah informed them.

Sam, shaking his head back and forth, covered his eyes with his right hand and sat silently.

Viki, her face etched with sorrow for her brother, said, "We have all suspected Todd was sexually abused. Are you saying that this man, a doctor, knew it and did nothing to stop it? He saw my brother's broken and violated body and he chose to protect Barbara?"

"You promised this son of a . . . this 'doctor' that you would keep quiet about what he did?" Sam's voice was filled with rage at a doctor who could see what they did to Todd and turn his back on it.

"I had to. It was the only way I could get him to talk to me," Susannah explained.

"Well, I didn't make any such promise. I will take care of Doctor Evans," Sam swore. Susannah did not argue the point with Sam.

"Do you both remember all the things Todd said about Georgie Phillips?" Susannah asked. Both Sam and Viki said yes. "Do either of you have any idea why Todd would think it was cold out the night Georgie died or what the sound he heard might have been?"

Neither Sam nor Viki could remember anything about a loud or cracking sound. "Are there any rooms painted or wallpapered red at Asa's lodge?" Susannah inquired. Viki shook her head.

"Well, you said Todd mentioned all those things when he was coming out of a nightmare. Maybe he got it confused with something else. You know how dreams are," Sam pointed out.

Viki added, "Todd really started to fall apart and become very confused after Georgie die. His memories may be tangled up with all kinds of things."

Susannah nodded and confirmed, "Of course that is a possibility."

The one thing Susannah did not mention about her trip to Chicago was her encounter with Michael Connor or with Michelle's neighbor. Susannah wanted to get more information on that and get it straight in her own head before she approached Sam and Viki with her suspicions.

"Why don't we go visit Todd now. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you both," Susannah suggested.

When they got to Todd's room he was sitting on the floor drawing a picture. Sam, Viki and Susannah instantly knew this was Timmy. Connie, the nurse on duty confirmed it.

Sam knelt down and stroked Timmy's head and asked, "Hi buddy, do you remember me?"

Timmy looked up at him and nodded. "Whatcha drawing there? Can I see it?" Sam asked.

Timmy obediently held the picture up and said, "It's a picture of my mommy. Do you think she'll like it?"

"I think she'll like it very much. You draw very well," Sam complimented.

"Is my mommy still too far away to come see me?"

Sam was touched by the fact that Timmy would remember what he told him. It amazed him that each alter had their own memories of their own life experiences.

"I'm afraid so Timmy," Sam said tenderly, putting his arm around the boy's shoulders.

Viki knelt down and said, "You know Timmy, I had two little boys and now they're grown. I miss having a little boy around. I know I'm not your mommy but I would really like it if you wanted to be my little boy whenever you came out. Would you like that?"

Timmy nodded and asked, "Did your little boys have to get punished all the time because they were bad?"

"No, little children shouldn't be punished all the time, no matter what they do. Mommies and daddies should love their children and never hurt them."

Timmy thought about what Viki said, and then he stated, "But I'm real bad that's why I get punished."

"Sweetie, what did you do that was so bad?" Susannah asked gently.

"I got borned. Daddy says I never should've been," Timmy answered sadly.

Viki put her arms around Timmy and hugged him tightly. "Timmy, I'm very happy that you got 'borned', I love you very much."

"We all do pal," Sam added.

Susannah went back to her office and Viki and Sam sat with Timmy for a while. He drew each of them a picture of themselves. Viki was pleased that she was able to get him to eat some chocolate pudding. She noticed he was eating it awkwardly, trying very hard to hold the spoon over the bowl.

"Sweetheart, is your hand hurting you? Is it hard for you to hold the spoon?" Viki asked.

"No, I don't wanna spill it. Daddy will get real mad."

"What does Daddy do if you spill something?" Viki was almost afraid to ask that.

"I have to lick it up and then . . . I'm gonna get in trouble. Daddy gets mad if I tell."

Timmy stopped talking and put the bowl down. He crawled over where his stuffed toys sat in a corner of the room. He picked up a large stuffed dog and hugged it to him, burying his face in the dog's soft fur. Viki knelt down. She placed her hand under Timmy's chin and lifted his face towards hers.

"Timmy, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. It's okay. Now why don't you come back and finish your pudding." Timmy shook his head. "How about I feed it to you, then you don't have to worry about spilling it," Viki suggested.

Timmy thought for a moment. He looked up at Viki; his eyes were huge and innocent. He nodded and said, "okay."

Susannah came back just as Viki was getting Timmy to eat the last spoonful of pudding. Wiping off Timmy's mouth, Viki smiled and at him as she told Susannah, "Timmy's been a very good boy. He drew pictures for us and he finished a whole bowl of chocolate pudding."

"That is very good," Susannah praised, coming over to Timmy and stroking his cheek. She knew Viki was worried because Todd and most of the alters weren't eating very much.

Susannah held out her hand to Timmy. "It's just about time for our session, Timmy? Would you like to come to my office? I have some toys there that I got just for you. Would you like to see them?"

Timmy looked up at her and nodded. He took her hand and stood up. Timmy walked with Susannah, then just as they got to the door he ran back into the room and hid behind one of the chairs.

"Timmy? What's the matter sweetie? What are you afraid of? Is there something out there you're afraid of?" Susannah asked. Timmy didn't answer.

"It's all right, Timmy. Tell Doctor Hanen what you're afraid of or if you want you can tell Viki or Sam. Timmy didn't respond. He was still cowering behind one of the club chairs.

"Timmy, will you come out from behind the chair and tell us what you're afraid of? I promise nothing will hurt you. You have all three of us here to protect you," Susannah continued to try to coax him out.

"My daddy is stronger than anyone. No one can stop my daddy," Timmy finally expressed his fear. He crawled out from behind the chair.

"We can Timmy. I swear to you we can stop your daddy and make sure he doesn't hurt you ever again," Sam promised.

"He's out there. If you open the door he'll get in," Timmy's face scrunched up, as tears fell.

"How about if I go out first and check the hall and make sure your daddy's not out there," Sam volunteered. "He'll hurt you if he's out there," Timmy insisted.

"Well," Sam assured him, "I might not look it, but I'm very strong."

"You are?" Timmy looked up at Sam with such surprised disbelief as he asked that, the three adults started to laugh. Timmy continued to look up at Sam, wondering what was funny.

Sam hugged Timmy to him tightly. "Yes Timmy, I am stronger than your daddy and I will never let him hurt you. None of us will ever let him hurt you again." Sam stepped outside and went through the pretense of looking up and down the hallway. "I checked and your daddy is nowhere near here. He's not even allowed in the whole building," Sam said when he came back into the room.

"Timmy, are you ready to go to my office now?" Susannah asked, smoothing his hair away from his face and placing it behind his ears.

"Can they come too?" Timmy pointed to Sam and Viki.

"Sure they can sweetie," Susannah answered and they left the room for her office.

Susannah asked Viki and Sam to have a seat in two of the club chairs by the coffee table. She asked Timmy to sit on the floor in front of the coffee table. Susannah brought some dolls and some miniature versions of some common items to the table and put them in front of Timmy.

"I'm not supposed to play with dolls, that's for girls," Timmy announced. "Boys can play with dolls too. It's all right," Susannah informed him gently.

Timmy shook his head. "No, Daddy will be mad. He took away Mr. Fuzzy."

"Who's Mr. Fuzzy?" Susannah asked.

"He was my bear," Timmy answered sadly. Viki remembered how afraid Timmy was of taking the first stuffed animal she and Sam had bought him. It was only after they promised his daddy wouldn't find out about it that he took it and hugged it to him.

Damn you, Peter," Viki thought, You couldn't even allow him the comfort of a stuffed animal.

"These dolls are special. They're made for both boys and girls. These dolls look just like real people. See!" Susannah pointed out. She took the clothes off one of the anatomically correct dolls.

Timmy looked at the doll apprehensively. "It's okay, you can pick it up and look at it," Susannah directed.

Timmy took the doll and looked at it and then looked up at Susannah.

"Timmy, I would like you to make up a story for me. There are enough dolls here to make up a whole family. Why don't you pick out some of them and make up a story about them," Susannah suggested.

Timmy slowly started looking at the various dolls and picked out a female doll and said, "This one is the mommy. She's the prettiest one." He then picked up one of the male child dolls and said, "This one is the little boy."

Timmy stopped at that and Susannah asked. "What about a daddy doll? Is there a daddy doll?" Timmy's shoulders hunched up as he picked up one of the larger, older looking male dolls and sat it down, away from the mommy and little boy doll.

"Well, the daddy doll is pretty far away. Don't the mommy and the little boy doll want him to be with them?" Susannah prodded him.

Timmy shook his head.

"Why is that?" Susannah questioned him, gently.

"The little boy is going to go away with his mommy and never come back. He doesn't want his daddy to see where he's going to."

"Why does the little boy want to go away from his daddy?" Susannah asked.

"He doesn't want to play the game anymore."

"What kind of game, what's the game like?"

Timmy looked down, clutching the little boy doll in his hand. "It's a secret. The little boy will get punished real bad if he tells and the mommy doll will get punished too." Fear crept into Timmy's eyes.

"Timmy," Susannah began, "You wouldn't be telling. You could let the dolls show us what the game was and you wouldn't be telling the secret at all."

Timmy's large frightened eyes looked up at Susannah as he thought about what she said. He put the little boy in the mommy doll's arms and reached for the daddy doll. He had the daddy doll inch closer and closer to the little boy and mommy doll. Then he had the little boy doll whisper in the mommy dolls ear, "Mommy wake up. He's coming. Mommy, please wake up!" Timmy was whispering as he had the boy shake the mommy doll. It was a little awkward with his bandaged hand but with it, he had the daddy doll come up and rip the little boy away from the mommy and carry him off.

Timmy remained eerily silent while he did this. "Doesn't the little boy doll cry or say anything?" Susannah pressed.

"It'll make it hurt worse if he does," Timmy whispered. Susannah could see Timmy's hands were starting to shake. He then had the daddy undress the little boy doll and in the daddy's voice said, "You know what you've done." Then Timmy had the boy try to pull away from the daddy and the daddy doll grabbed the boy doll by the hair and pulled him back to him. The daddy doll then pulled the boy doll up by the arm and said, "You're going to be very sorry you did that." Finally the little boy doll said, "I don't want a bath. I don't want to play the game. Please daddy, don't make me."

Timmy stopped playing and sat very still. "Timmy, it's okay sweetie, finish the story. Show us what the game was. Show us what the daddy doll does to the little boy doll," Susannah prompted. Viki and Sam sat there as if they were frozen to the spot. Timmy was now trembling all over and Susannah knew if he didn't act out his secret now she would soon have to stop the play therapy, as he was getting too agitated.

Suddenly, Timmy had the daddy doll push the little boy doll face down onto the table and Timmy used one of the miniature belts to tie the boy doll's hands together. Timmy picked up one of the toy cigarettes and put it in the daddy doll's hand and made the daddy doll hold the orange end of it to the little boy doll's back and buttocks.

Timmy still remained silent, but his respiration had become extremely rapid. He had the daddy doll say, "You're making me do this. You and that drunken slut downstairs. It's your fault. SAY IT! SAY IT!" The daddy doll yelled, shaking the little boy, hitting his face into the table. "It's my fault," Timmy had the boy doll whisper. "I can't hear you. Say it louder," Timmy had the daddy say, while he shook the boy doll even harder. "It's my fault, I make you do it. You do it because I'm bad." Timmy had the boy doll say in a louder voice. Then he had the daddy doll open his belt and his pants and pressed him down on top of the little boy doll. The daddy doll's hands reaching under the boy doll. "He hurts the little boy's boy parts and then he squishes him."

"Timmy, what does squishes him mean? Suddenly, Susannah's patient shrieked with terror. Only it wasn't Timmy's voice, it was Todd's.

Todd put his hands up to his ears and looked around, trying to find out where the scream had come from. He saw Viki, Sam and Susannah were sitting in the room with him. He wanted to say something to them, but he felt unreal and totally disconnected from his surroundings. He then realized he had something in his hands and looked down and saw the dolls. This seemed to bring him back to reality. He gasped at the sight of them and brushed them off the table onto the floor. Todd jumped up, the expression on his face going from one of shock, to one of horror.

"What is this!" "What's going on here? What are you doing to me!" The terror in Todd's voice was apparent.

"Todd, it's all right. You were just playing with the dolls. Nothing bad happened," Susannah tried to explain.

"Playing with dolls/! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!" Todd shrieked.

Sam stood up and walked over to Todd and put his hand on his shoulder. Todd pulled away and screamed, "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME! I DONT WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME! I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE! I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" Todd was trembling. He turned to Sam. His speech was lower, but rapid. "Sam, you're my lawyer. Get me out of here. Look, I know I've been a lot of trouble to you, but if you get me out of here, I promise, I won't bother you anymore. I'll go away. I'll do whatever you want. Just get me out of here. Please Sam, I'm begging you. Please!"

Todd's pleas broke Sam's heart. Sam knew he had to stay firm, even if it killed him. "All right, take it easy Boomer. Let's sit down and . . ."

"No!" Todd cried out, cutting Sam off, "I want you to get me out of here. Sam Please! I'm begging you."

"I'm sorry Boomer. I love you. I love you as much as I do my own kids. I want to do what's best for you. You have to stay here a little longer. You need help and you're getting it here."

Viki and Susannah could see how it devastated Sam to have to tell Todd that he was leaving him in the hospital. Todd looked at Viki, his terrified eyes begging for help. She thought how much he seemed like a trapped animal.

"Todd, I swear to you, I swear to you, you are getting better. You won't be here forever. It may be painful now, but it will get better. I know. You know that I truly do. Let us help you," Viki pleaded.

Todd felt as if he were suffocating. He was having trouble hearing and seeing what was going on around him. The room seemed to be closing in on him. He was running to the door, but he felt as if he were moving in slow motion. He got out of Susannah's office before they could stop him and past the stunned receptionist in the outer office. He ran toward the double doors that led to freedom. He didn't even see the techs who were coming after him from the other end of the hallway or hear them call to him to get away from the doors. He tried to open the doors, but they wouldn't budge. He pulled and pushed on them with all his strength and when they wouldn't open he started to pound his head into the doors as hard as he could, "OPEN! OPEN!" He shrieked.

By the time the techs reached him, he had hit his head hard enough to give himself a concussion and a wound that would need suturing. As Dave, one of the techs, slid down the wall with Todd, blood trickled down Todd's face from the scalp wound. Viki, Sam and Susannah all came running up to him at the same time. Todd was no longer struggling. He was still and silent.

Susannah bent down to examine his head. "Todd, Todd, I want you to look at me. TODD!"

Susannah saw he couldn't make eye contact with her. She knew that he had "gone away inside his head." Viki shut her eyes and laid her head on Sam's shoulder and cried, "Oh God, Sam! Oh God!"

Susannah called for a gurney. A nurse brought her some dressing and Susannah held it to Todd's head. "Okay Todd, it's going to be all right," Susannah said soothingly, knowing that Todd probably could not hear her. "You don't realize it, but you are getting better. You'll get out of here. I promise."

TO BE CONTINUED

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