PREVIOUSLY

Sam: (Strokes Todd's head.) I've got you, Todd. You're ok.

Todd: (Melts, exhaling, fists opening against Sam's back, seems about to cry despite great effort to suppress it. His nostrils flaring, tears escape down his cheeks.)

Sam: (Holds Todd and strokes the back of his head gently, eyes closed.)

Todd: (Now more obviously cries on Sam's shoulder.)

[Scene ends.]

**************************************************************************************************

[Scene: Tea's office at the Police Station, a few hours later.]

Todd: (Stands in her doorway and takes in the sight of Tea for a moment. Knocks on her open door, looks in at her.) Umm.... hi.

Tea: (Looks up, sees him, smiles at him.) Hi, stranger.

Todd: (Scowls:) I'm not that strange.

Tea: (Laughs.) Is it lunchtime already?

Todd: If you're hungry. Diner OK?

Tea: Sure. (Writes last notes in a file by hand, one finger of her left hand raised to tell Todd to hold on a second. Closes file, puts away pen.) Ok. Ready. (Grabs pocketbook, joins him in the doorway.) Oh, one more thing.

Todd: (Looks in her eyes.)

Tea: Can I kiss you?

Todd: (Looks behind him into the hallway.) As long as no one sees us.

Tea: (Leans up, cradling his face in her hands, and kisses him lovingly.)

Todd: (Puts his hands on Tea's waist and closes his eyes while she kisses him, enjoying kissing her back.)

Hank: (Appears, clears his throat discretely.)

Todd: (Embarrassed, scowls at Tea.) Tea. (Looks over at Hank, trying not to squirm.)

Tea: It's ok, Todd. (Presses her hands against his face gently and takes his hand, looking in his eyes.)

Hank: Married people do that all the time, even around here. I won't tell. (Smiles at Todd, who looks even less comfortable.)

Todd: (Still looking at Tea.) You gotta reason to be here, Gannon? (Tears his gaze away from Tea, to Hank.)

Hank: Uh, yes, actually. Tea, you wanted my notes on that case. Here. (Hands her a folder.) Carry on. (Leaves, smiling to himself.)

Todd: (Mocking when Hank is out of view:) Carry on.

Tea: (Slightly scolding:) Todd..... Hank's right, you know.

Todd: Whaaat?

Tea: (Going back into her office to put the file on her desk:) Married people kiss in public all the time, you know. (Crossing back to the doorway and Todd as he answers her.)

Todd: This isn't everybody else's marriage. I don't do that hearts and flowers girly stuff.

Tea: Oh, yes you do. And you do it well when you put your heart into it.

Todd: (Seems distracted and anxious.) Whatever. Let's go before I lose my appetite completely.

Tea: You're nervous about something.

Todd: (Nods solemnly at her. Quietly:) Yeah.

Tea: (Quietly:) I see. Lunch is really to talk, isn't it?

Todd: (Quietly:) If I can.

Tea: Let's go, before you lose your nerve. (She takes his hand again.)

[Exit Tea's office.]

[Scene: Sam's house, the couch is strewn with paperwork, but Sam is standing, dialing a portable phone, pacing as it rings and he holds it to his ear.]

Sam: Viki? Hi, Sam. He talked to me today. Look, I'm really busy, but I just wanted to give you a heads-up: he seemed really depressed today, very needy, and that's not like him.... I will.... uh-huh. Yes, do keep me posted if he comes to you.... Hmm? He's probably ok now, but I was just taken aback, since he's really been avoiding me a lot until the big family meeting. Uh-huh, I'll call you. Thanks.... Lunch is fine, sure. Palace in an hour, sure. I can't work, anyway, truthfully. Ok, see you then, Viki.

[Scene ends.]

[Diner. Todd and Tea are sitting at a window booth, Carlotta brings their lunches, Todd has a burger and fries before him, Tea a burrito with lots of trimmings.]

Todd: (Playing with a french fry on his plate.) Look, this is hard for me.

Tea: You don't have to tell me over lunch, you can tell me at home where it's quieter if you want to. Eat.

Todd: (Looks up at her.) I guess I can tell you a little here. (Pauses, fidgeting with his fries again, looking at his plate.) I talked with Sam this morning.

Tea: Is something wrong?

Todd: Yeah. (Looks in her eyes.) I love you.

Tea: (Gently:) There's nothing wrong with that, Todd. I love you, too.

Todd: I feel so responsible for you, it scares me. You spend all this time taking care of me, and I know you need me, too. I don't know how to take care of you the way you need me to, the way you take care of me.

Tea: You do take care of me, sometimes in ways you just can't see are things I consider as your way of taking care of me.

Todd: I try to protect you.

Tea: You haven't in a while. You've started being very upfront with me.

Todd: You're so good to me, and I'm so rotten to you. It isn't the money.....

Tea: It's nothing to do with the money. Todd, I know you love me to distraction and you'd do anything for me. You share a lot more of yourself with me than I ever realized you did before or that you could. You used to be so closed to me. What you share with me now and even before now has been gifts from yourself. Generous ones. You've worked very hard to open up to me, to trust me, for a long time now; and I feel responsible not to hurt you, too.

Todd: Wow. Sometimes you know just the right words to tell me you understand what I've just been trying to say to you and couldn't get the words together to tell you. I haven't been trying as hard to protect you in that way, no. How do you do that?

Tea: (Shrugs.) I don't know. I'm good with words.

Todd: You should be running The Sun.

Tea: No, you do fine, and you know it. I guess I'm just listening to you.

Todd: Now.

Tea: Now.

Todd: (Pauses, looking at her. Hesitant:) I-I wanted... Sam... to be my Dad.

Tea: I know that.

Todd: (Pauses.) Really my Dad. He... wanted to take me in.

Tea: I know that.

Todd: He says he loves me.

Tea: I know he does. He's been at such a loss as to how to reach you. He loves you so much, do you know that?

Todd: (Struggling:) He....

Tea: (Looks up from her lunch.) What?

Todd: (Quietly, emotional:) He held me today, Tea.... A long time.

Tea: That's good!

Todd: (Emotional:) That's hard.

Tea: I can see. You don't have to tell me all of it over lunch, ok? You've hardly touched your lunch. Eat. Want a taste?

Todd: (Thinks about it, looking hungrily at her plate. Looks in her eyes.) Ok. Feed me?

Tea: Sure. I promise to be neater than at the wedding. (Grins at him, and proffers a forkful of burrito and garnishes.)

Todd: (Accepts, still smiling at her, letting her feed him.) Mmmm..... (Talks with his mouth full:) Not too hot, yet.

Tea: It may start to burn soon, drink some water.

Todd: Actually, it's not too hot. (Drinks some water to oblige her.) If you make this at home I might get to like this salsa food.

Tea: (Seductive:) Careful, I'll show you what real salsa food is like.

Todd: (Shrugs slightly.) Pain is good. Don't set my hair on fire, ok?

Tea: (Laughs.)

Todd: (Smiles a little at her.)

Tea: (Nodding her chin towards Todd's plate:) Eat.

Todd: (Regards his plate, moves some food around on it, takes a bite or two.)

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Penthouse Livingroom. Evening.]

Tea: (Arrives home, kicks off shoes, drops briefcase next to Todd's desk, drapes jacket over Todd's chair back, looking around for Todd.) Todd?

Todd: (Pokes head out at top of spiral stairs.)

Tea: (Sees him.) There you are. We can talk now, I think. Do you still want to?

Todd: (Looking anxious.) Not really. (Comes downstairs towards her, his hands behind his back as if he's hiding something.) Starr's with Viki and Jessica tonight. Girls' Night Out, or something. Actually, I kind of miss her.

Tea: (Noticing his hands behind him, smiling a little at him, more as he approaches her.) What have you got, Manning?

Todd: (Shrugs his shoulders.) Nothing. (A slight smile.)

Tea: (With a glint in her eyes of mischief:) Do you want me to take it from you? Do you want me to guess which hand?

Todd: Dare ya! (Breaks into a grin.)

Tea: (Lunges for him.)

Todd: (Dodges deftly away, turning so she can't see what's in his hands.)

Tea: (Peers around him as he dodges again, gasps.) For me? Todd? Peach roses for me?

Todd: (Teases:) No, they're for Judith. (Shows the bunch of a dozen peach roses to her in the florist's paper with some baby's breath mixed in, and just beams at her. Shyly:) Really, they're for you.

Tea: (Melting:) Ohhh.....Querido, mi corazon. Te amo, Todd. This is so sweet.....

Todd: (Serious:) Now, don't get all teary and stuff, Delgado. I don't think I could take that today.

Tea: (Walks up to him and takes his face in her hands, her fingers in his hair, and kisses him.) You're impossible, and I love you very much.

Todd: (Plays with her hair with his free hand, looking in her eyes.)

Tea: (Takes flowers, sets them aside.) You're being very quiet.

Todd: I'm a quiet guy.

Tea: No, you're not. You're one of the most active, noisy people I know.

Todd: I am?

Tea: Yes. It's one of your more attractive qualities.

Todd: (Perplexed.) Oh. Ok.

Tea: What did you and Sam talk about?

Todd: (Crosses from middle of room, sits on the couch.) Shrink's gone for a week, too.

Tea: Tell me what you can handle, ok? I know this is hard for you.

Todd: (A little distant:) We talked about my fathers, all of them.

Tea: Sam, too?

Todd: (Looks up at her briefly.) Yeah. How he did want to take me home and be a good Dad for me. How all he felt he could offer me was football. Believe me, that was a lot. When Peter sent me to football camp, I went to please him and get away from him. I practiced everything Sam ever taught me, all summer long those summers. Peter kept me home the rest of that summer and it was just one long, hot nightmare. There are parts of it I don't even remember, it was so monotonous. Some days he wouldn't let me eat. Many days he'd beat me for the usual no-reason-at-all. I still don't know why. I'll never know now.

Tea: I know. I remember you told me that a long time ago, and I'm sorry he did that. It's not your fault, it's his. And, no, it doesn't make sense.

Todd: (Sighs heavily:) He'd leave me alone when he went to work, and at one point I started setting little fires out back in the grass. I'd get scared and douse them immediately, though. Kid down the street had some firecrackers, we blew some things up in his yard a few times. Nobody was watching him, either. I'd be good in front of the cleaning lady, though, in case she'd report back to Peter. She never asked me why I was on my own that summer.

Tea: I wondered what happened that summer.

Todd: I was kinda going nuts. Managing to find out where my Mom was wasn't easy. I had to save up some money during school in case I could make a break for it. I raked leaves and cut grass and things. Remember I took that long bus trip from camp?

Tea: Yes.

Todd: Well, after it was all over, and she sent me back, it was another long bus trip alone. Peter met me at the bus stop and took me home. He had the camp send all my stuff back. I had to beg him the next spring to send me back to football camp. He strung me along until the last moment. Then he told me to start packing, he was sending me after all. I thought I'd died.

Tea: Did he do anything to you when you got back from the cabin?

Todd: Not until we got home. He didn't say a word to me the whole ride home, not even a hello at the bus depot.

Tea: That was unusual for him. What did he do when he got you home?

Todd: (Starts out evenly and quietly:) He beat the living crap out of me over four hours and then sent me to bed, where I lay awake all night in terror. He'd chased me all over that house, calling me names while he beat me, burned my palms with his lighter, tortured me, and chased me all around. I tried so hard not to be a baby and scream for help when I was running away from him, but I couldn't stop begging at open windows for someone, anyone to hear me and come help me. He said to stop trying to run away from him, stop sniveling. (Takes a breath.) He -- he said he'd find me anywhere I went and running from him would only make him madder and he'd be harsher, so I had to stop running away from him and-and... stand there... and take what he dished out; back straight, eyes forward. And then he shut me up by telling me that no one could hear me screaming anyway. He got right in my face and sneered that they were all away on vacation or at summer camp where I should be. He made me wish then that I had never gone to look for my Mom. He threatened to kill me at least once that day. I'm not sure I'd ever felt so alone in all my life, up to then.

Tea: I understand, though.

Todd: (Quietly:) I guess you would. He's still following me. (Hesitant:) Something else came up....

Tea: With Sam?

Todd: (Reticent, quietly:) Therapy.

Tea: (Gently:) Can you tell me about it?

Todd: (Becoming upset. Hesitating again.) It was about my father, about Peter and me. About a night away from home with him..... Aw, man! (Closes eyes, looks away.)

Tea: (Gently:) Take it slowly, Todd. If you're going to tell me, take your time, ok?

Todd: (Squirming:) I don't know how to tell you about this, Tea. I don't. Talking about the other stuff suddenly seems so easy compared to this.

Tea: Would it help if I held your hand while you told me? You wouldn't have to look in my eyes if that got to be too hard, but you could squeeze my hand. Ok?

Todd: I don't know, Delgado. I'm not into hand holding much. (Groans.) Oh, this hurts so badly, Delgado! (His voice seems to catch a little.)

Tea: (Offers him her hand. He grabs it and holds on tight, lacing his fingers with hers.) Just catch your breath for a while, ok?

Todd: (Trying not to hyperventilate.) I'll try. (Holds their hands to his chest.)

Tea: (Trying to soothe him, coos:) Hey.....

Todd: (Struggling:) What?

Tea: Hmm. Would it help if I asked questions?

Todd: (Trying to breathe evenly.) Ok. Try.

Tea: (Thinks.) You said it was about a night alone with Peter when you were traveling, right?

Todd: (Panting slightly:) Yeah.

Tea: Did he hurt you?

Todd: No. He didn't even touch me. (Voice breaks.)

Tea: Did he yell at you?

Todd: (Having trouble breathing, squeezing her hand tightly. Gasps out, shaking his head:) No.

Tea: Hmmm.....

Todd: He.... hewouldn't.... (Voice breaks)

Tea: Umm.... hewouldn't touch you? Was it that? Youwanted him to touch you?

Todd: (Groans.) I'mpathetic. (Begins to sob a little.)

Tea: (Reassuringly:) No, you're not pathetic. (Lightly strokes his hair.)

Todd: I am. I actually wanted that pervert to touch me like that that night in that bed!

Tea: Hussshhhhh. Todd, was your Mom still around then?

Todd: (Shakes head.)

Tea: So you were all alone with Peter?

Todd: (Nods his head, trying to regain his composure.)

Tea: He was both Mom and Dad then, right?

Todd: (Quietly, with difficulty:) Yes.

Tea: Were you scared?

Todd: (Nods.) I just wanted my Dad to hug me so I could sleep! (Starts to cry.)

Tea: Oh..... Oh, Todd. Sweet, sweet Todd. Sssshhhh....... (Kisses his cheek.)

Todd: (Composes self with much effort.) Look at me, I'm pathetic! No, don't look at me. (He looks down towards his knees.)

Tea: Did you feel like this night was endless?

Todd: Yes.

Tea: Do you feel exposed right now?

Todd: (Agitated:) I want to crawl under a rock right now.

Tea: (Frees her hand from his grip, and turns away reaching for something.)

Todd: (Holds his empty hand on his chest morosely, still working for composure.)

Tea: (Finds the throw blanket on the couch and hands it to him.) Here. No rock, just this blanket.

Todd: (Looks up at her sharply:) What?

Tea: You can hide under here if it will help.

Todd: (Skeptical expression.) That's a stupid idea. You're nuts.

Tea: Tom seemed to like it before the trial, he hid himself under this. Rod seemed to like emerging from it to surprise me that day. (Throws the blanket over his head.) And if it would help, I could also hold you. Would you like that?

Todd: (Pulls the blanket up away from his face.) I'll smother.

Tea: I'll be careful.

Todd: (Grabs a pillow and holds it to his chest. Lets the blanket drop again, head hanging.)

Tea: (Leans over, slipping her arms under the blanket and pillow, and draws him to her. She holds him closely and he slowly leans against her, her hand on his face under the blanket.)

Todd: (His breathing slows to a steady rate. After a long pause, he pulls the blanket up off of his face and puts his head back on her shoulder.)

Tea: Better? Your breathing's much calmer now. (Strokes his hair along his forehead hairline with a finger.)

Todd: (He sits up again.) Yeah. Thanks. Sometimes I just need to hide.

Tea: I know.

Todd: When the anxiety attacks get really bad -- I can't breathe during them -- I sometimes want to crawl under my desk and just fold myself up into this tight ball of fear, only I can't, that would be too obvious.

Tea: So you run away, instead?

Todd: Yeah. Sometimes. You've seen it, I get really wired and I stop being able to think clearly. I get paranoid. I yell a lot.

Tea: Does walking help?

Todd: Most of the time.

Tea: Good.

Todd: Pacing helps some of it. I don't want to walk right now, if that's what you're thinking.

Tea: Ok.

Todd: I just want to go to sleep, with you in my arms. I'm wiped out.

Tea: (Stands and offers her hand to him.) You've been sleeping a lot lately, are you ok?

Todd: Yeah, considering.

Tea: Let's go, then.

Todd: (Takes her hand and stands up, dropping pillow, looking in her eyes, shaking off blanket.)

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Todd's bedroom a few minutes later, Tea is in pajamas. Todd is still mostly dressed, although he's taken off his suit jacket, vest, dress shirt and wears his pants and a tucked-in short-sleeved t-shirt, and still has his belt on and socks but no shoes.]

Tea: You're sure? I know how much courage it took you to ask for this.

Todd: Yes. I want this.

Tea: You're sure you'll be able to sleep?

Todd: No. But you're here.

Tea: I know that it helps to have me here when you sleep now. I'm glad it no longer keeps you awake with fear.

Todd: It does help now. Nobody's more surprised about that than I am.

Tea: Under the covers ok? I'm a little cold.

Todd: You're not just saying that?

Tea: I'm cold, Todd.

Todd: (He takes a breath as if to steel himself, and climbs under the covers, holding them open for her.) Climb in. (She snuggles up against him under the covers. He holds her close. They close their eyes.)

[Scene: It is now very dark outside and they appear to have been asleep for some time. Todd sits up suddenly, withdrawing hurriedly from Tea, who awakens in a mild panic.]

Tea: Todd? What's wrong? Another nightmare?

Todd: (Upset, breathing a little raggedly:) You could say that.

Tea: (Sleepy:) Can you tell me about it?

Todd: (Agitated, hesitates, then:) Don't do that when I'm asleep!

Tea: (Groggily:) Do what?

Todd: You know what you did.

Tea: No, I was sound sleep until you jumped out of bed.

Todd: You really have no idea what just happened?

Tea: Please tell me what I did, Todd?

Todd: You-you .... touched me.

Tea: Idid? You mean what I think you mean?

Todd: Yeah!

Tea: Oh, Todd. I didn't mean to, I was sound asleep. I didn't mean to grope you, Todd. I'm really sorry.

Todd: You scared me. I thought --

Tea: You don't have to tell me. I know what you thought, and I'm so sorry.

Todd: You didn't mean it? It was an accident?

Tea: Yes, I didn't mean it. I won't say I don't want you, very much in fact, but I had no idea I had done such a thing. Tonight of all nights. Forgive me?

Todd: (Wary:) How do I know you won't try it again?

Tea: Good point. I don't. If it happens again, I apologize in advance. I wasn't "trying" anything, I really was sound asleep. (Lays her head down on pillow. Tiredly:) Can we get back to sleep now? (Yawning widely, eyes closed.)

Todd: I don't know. Maybe you can. (Slowly climbs back into the bed, facing her, reaches for her cautiously, but she is already sound asleep again. He draws her to him very close and tries to settle down again, nuzzling her hair and trying to close his eyes.)

[Scene ends]

[Scene: It is still dark, although a small amount of light has begun to appear at the horizon line outside.]

Tea: (Awaking with a start, and grabbing Todd closer to her. Breathless:) Don't go.

Todd: (Jerking awake suddenly, struggling to breathe. It takes a moment of terror for him to get oriented:) Delgado! What're you doing?! I just finally got back to sleep!

Tea: (Much more alert but still disoriented:) Todd? You're still here? Tell me this is not another dream.

Todd: I thought I was the one who did nightmares, Delgado.

Tea: (Orienting to him:) You don't own the monopoly on nightmares.

Todd: Trade you?

Tea: Huh?

Todd: (Prompts her:) I told you about mine --

Tea: Oh.

Todd: Why did you wake up?

Tea: I was dreaming, and then I was dreaming I was dreaming.

Todd: You're weird.

Tea: You've never had that kind of dream?

Todd: No. Ok, I lied. Yeah.

Tea: Well, I was dreaming that you had left me in the middle of the night. Your side of the bed was empty and cold when I reached out for you in the dream. I was having some sort of nightmare.

Todd: I wasn't there, so?

Tea: Well, so I woke up, or I thought I did.

Todd: You only dreamed you woke up from a nightmare? That'smy game.

Tea: Yes, and in that dream I reached for you again thinking I was awake, and your side of the bed was not only cold, but your pillow was gone, too. Like you'd never been there, like when you were gone all those months and I used to sleep in your shirts in this same bed.

Todd: (Holds her closer and kisses her hair.) I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left you, even if you did tell me to leave. I was a mess, and I wasn't myself most of the time.

[Scene ends.]

TO BE CONTINUED