TRIALS OF THE HEART - PART TWENTY
PREVIOUSLY
A few minutes later, they sat side by side in silence as the limo headed out of Manhattan. Looking at his wife out of the corner of his eye, Todd thought of all the lonely nights he had spent in jail. "Now I know how you felt, Delgado," he thought. "Because this time I'm the one who wants a real marriage instead of a business deal." Tea looked at him and smiled, and Todd began to feel the tiniest glimmer of hope deep within his heart
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Todd hesitated outside the door of the penthouse as Tea unlocked it and went in. She turned around, surprised to see him still standing in the hall looking warily through the door. Walking back to the foyer, she asked, "What's the matter, Todd?"
"Aren't you supposed to carry me over the threshold or something?" he teased, obviously buying some time.
"Todd, c'mon. It's late," she prompted.
Drawing a deep breath he said, "It's just that I'd lay in that cell every night and dream of this moment I guess I'm afraid I might wake up."
Touched in spite of herself, Tea reached out and drew him into the apartment. She watched as he walked hesitantly into the middle of the living room and looked about curiously. "See? Everything is the same. I didn't redecorate in hot pink and chartreuse, as much I know you'd love it." Todd didn't react so she continued, "Of course, the zebra-striped couch is arriving in a few days, and I thought a few framed clown prints on black velvet might liven up the place." Todd suddenly seemed to hear and looked at her like she was a mental case.
"Clown prints? What are you talking about Delgado?" He continued staring with a frown on his face as she broke down in laughter. She plopped down on the sofa and kicked off her pumps, reaching down to massage her tired feet. Todd removed his jacket and tossed it haphazardly at the desk, not caring that it missed and slid to the floor. He rolled up the sleeves of his charcoal gray shirt, and sat down at the opposite end of the couch from his wife. He watched her rubbing her feet in fascination for a moment, then said quietly, "I could help you with that, you know."
Tea looked at him in surprise. "Huh? It's it's OK. My shoes just pinch a little, that's all." Todd looked determined and signaled with his fingers for her to move her feet into his lap. Cautiously, she obeyed and was pleasantly surprised when he started giving her a very thorough foot rub. She leaned back into the couch cushions and let herself relax, enjoying the feeling of his hands manipulating her flesh. Suddenly self-conscious, she opened her eyes to see her husband staring at her with a desire she wasn't used to seeing. Flustered, she pulled away and jumped up. "I .I just remembered something!" she said brightly, hoping she was covering her discomfort adequately. "I'll be right back!" She practically ran into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, she leaned her head against the door, letting the cool air fan her face for a moment. Reaching way in the back, she grabbed a bottle of champagne and put it on the table. "This isn't going to be easy," she thought as she rummaged through a cupboard looking for two champagne flutes. "But I can't let myself be drawn in by him again. I promised I'd stay on a business-only basis for one month, and that's all I'm going to do." She found a wine cooler and put the champagne bottle in it, then placed all the items on a tray.
When she returned carrying the tray, Todd was standing looking through the large window at the view of downtown Llanview. Tea smiled and set the tray on the coffee table, then joined him. "I have to admit, Todd, it's nice to see you back in your favorite spot. I .I missed you." Todd didn't react and Tea noticed that he seemed preoccupied, almost lost in his own world. She tried to follow his gaze. "You're looking at the police station, aren't you?" she said quietly.
Todd's eyes had a hard look to them as he said, "I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find a huge crater where that place used to be." Tea moved a little closer and placed a tentative hand on his back.
"It's OK, Todd," she said gently. "You're free now."
"I don't feel free, Delgado," he said as he turned toward her. "It's like a part of me is still down there in that cage." Tea stared helplessly as he ran his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated. "They take your clothes and make you wear their monkey suits that brand you as some kind of lower life form. They put you in chains like an animal whenever they allow you out. They make you beg like a dog for every paper, picture or reminder of the outside world. You don't get over that easily, Tea, and you never forget it-ever." Noticing the tears in his eyes, she reached out to comfort him, and was taken aback when he crushed her in an embrace. She could feel him trembling against her body.
"Shhhhh, Todd. You're home now," she comforted. "They can't hurt you anymore." She rubbed his back and stroked his hair. Gradually, she felt him relax. Pulling back, she was unnerved by the look in his eyes. He glanced at her mouth and started to move his head toward hers. Tea pulled away abruptly, and walked to the coffee table. "Look, Todd. I bought this bottle of champagne the day the trial started, and put it in the refrigerator for a victory celebration." He stared at her from the window as she removed the foil from the top of the bottle. "I knew then that we'd win. I'll admit I had a few bad moments once in a while," she prattled, trying not to look at him, "but I'd see the bottle every night and it would raise my spirits." Carrying the champagne in one hand and the two glasses in the other, she walked over to him. "Here, you do the honors," she said. He looked at the bottle, then shrugged and turned away.
"It's really nice, Delgado," he said in a strained voice, "but I'm kind of tired tonight. Save it for some other time, OK?" She stood there at a loss as he continued, "I think I'll go to bed. Good Night." He slowly climbed the spiral staircase, leaving her standing with the wine in her outstretched hand. Sighing deeply, she put everything back on the coffee table and followed him to the second floor.
For a minute, she couldn't find him in the darkness, then she spotted his form silhouetted against the light from Starr's room. He was leaning on the doorframe with his hands in his pockets, staring at his daughter's toys and belongings. Tea joined him. "She'll be back," she said quietly, "I'll get started on a new custody case right away."
"Blair wants joint custody," he said in a lackluster tone.
"Really?" said Tea, surprised. "Well that certainly would be best for Starr. What do you think?"
Todd shrugged. "Shorty needs both of us, I guess. I don't want to pull her away from her mother, and besides, I owe Blair-big time. I'd be on my way to Statesville if she hadn't come up with that information."
"True," said Tea. "When push came to shove, Blair helped you a lot, Todd, and Starr really doesn't deserve to be caught in the middle." Todd switched off the light in the room, then turned on the hall light.
"I don't want to think about it any more tonight," he announced, heading down the hallway.
"I .uh .I've been using the master bedroom," said Tea self-consciously, "but I can easily grab a few things and move to another room if you want." Todd hesitated in the doorway as she walked into the room.
"Nah," he said, "you keep it. I never moved back in after you left the last time."
"Most of your clothes are still in the room across the hall," she informed him. He made her nervous as he leaned against the doorway and stared at the bed. "I I bet you're looking forward to sleeping on a nice, soft mattress," she babbled, "instead of those awful bunks."
His gaze left the bed and moved to her face. "I've been looking forward to bed, all right," he said quietly. Tea stared at him, completely disconcerted.
"Uh .so you're picking up Starr tomorrow?" she said, trying to change the subject quickly.
"Yeah. Why don't you come along?" he asked.
"No. She's missed you so much; she wants her Daddy all to herself. I'll see her next week."
"What about that celebration dinner that Viki's having tomorrow? You'll come to that, right?"
Tea sighed. "Todd, I don't think that would be a good idea. You know I just agreed to come back as your lawyer for a short while to help you get your life back on track. If your family sees us together at that party, they're bound to jump to the wrong conclusion and think we're there as husband and wife."
"And we wouldn't want them to think that, now would we Tea?" he asked bitterly, turning away and walking across the hallway to the other room. Tea followed as far as the doorway to her room.
"Good night, Todd," she said, looking at his back. She waited a few moments, but when there was no response, she slowly closed the door.
Todd remained immobile, but the sound of the lock clicking on Tea's door was like a knife in his heart. He sat down slowly on the bed, staring across the hallway to the glass panels on the other door. Although the glass was opaque, he could detect changes in the light as she moved about the room. One after another, his shoes hit the floor with a dull thud as he removed them. This certainly wasn't the scenario he had dreamed about all those months in jail. He thought back to the time he had been released from Statesville, and Rebecca, the girl he had loved, had rejected him. Then there was his famous homecoming from Ireland, when he had found Blair having sex on the floor with Patrick Thornheart. With a snort he thought, "My homecomings are worse than any stretch in prison or the hospital." He pulled his hair away from his face with his hands. "Well, I've got thirty days to win her back," he thought. "I did it before and I'll do it this time." Becoming aware of a pleasant fragrance, he realized that Tea had lit scented candles in her room. Shuddering, he admitted to himself that he wanted her with every fiber of his being. He didn't want to scare her or hurt her, but he was fighting off the urge to break down her door. She always wanted him to be honest about his feelings. Well, maybe it was time to let her know exactly how he felt about being locked out. Looking determined, he rose to his feet.
After she closed the door to her room, Tea moved to the dresser and stared at her reflection in the mirror for a long time. Absent-mindedly, she pulled out some matches and lit a few aromatherapy candles she kept around to help her relax. She wandered listlessly around the room, stopping in front of the large window to take a look at the night sky. Thinking about all the hopes and dreams she had harbored during the months of Todd's incarceration, she now found herself almost crushed by a sense of disappointment and failure. As she angrily stripped off her suit jacket, the double "T" necklace spilled out of a pocket and landed on the carpet. She picked it up and watched the light play off of it as it spun around and around in the candlelight. Sighing deeply, she set it gently down on the bedside table. Todd had taken her in again with his neediness, she thought bitterly. Once again, he had manipulated her with his pain. He was a damaged man who probably would never be able to give her the love she wanted and needed. So why was she aching to clasp him to her heart and show him every deep feeling she had in her soul? She wondered what was worse-to live her life knowing there was a part of her husband that she could never have, or the emptiness she felt not having him at all? Tea brushed away a tear, and admitted to herself she already knew the answer to that question. She marched purposefully to the door.
As she flung open the door, Tea was shocked to find Todd standing just on the other side, his hand poised to knock. The two of them stared at each other in surprise for a moment. Dropping his hand to his side, and looking more vulnerable than she had ever seen him, Todd said quietly, "I'm tired of being alone, Tea."
Locking her gaze on her husband's face, Tea whispered, "You aren't alone, Todd. You have me." Each taking half a step forward, their bodies crashed together with a frenzy born of longing and need. Hands roaming over the other frantically, their lips locked in a passionate kiss that spread fire through every cell. Todd scooped up his wife and carried her to the bed, never releasing her mouth from his own. He set her down and they both knelt on the mattress, planting urgent kisses all over each other's faces, while running their fingers through their partner's hair. He reached out to finger the top button of her blouse, then stopped abruptly and pulled away.
Shuddering, he struggled to gain control of himself. "No," he said, "no, we can't do this. Not while you still have doubts about me."
Tea couldn't stand the emptiness she felt without him in her arms. She reached out and clutched him around the shoulders, hanging on tight as he tried to shrug her off. "Todd, I'll always have doubts about you. After what we've been through, I guess I have as hard a time trusting as you always have. But I know what it's like to live without you. I've had three months of it while you were languishing in that jail. The nights here alone thinking that you might be sent to prison-that I might never get to touch you again, were the worst torture I've ever endured. Now that I've got you back well, I've got a feeling in my heart that tells me to just make a leap of faith and go for it. I don't want to live without you, Todd." She kissed him tenderly on the cheek, causing him to shiver.
He looked intently into her eyes. "All I know is that the thought of this of a normal life with you and Starr, was the only thing that kept me going, Tea. The only thing." He trembled in her arms. "I've been in prison for a long, long time," he said through clenched teeth, "and I'm not talking about cement walls and bars and chains here. I'm talking about something worse." Staring into her eyes he said, "I've told you before that you make it better, Tea, that you help me to untwist. You were the one, Delgado, the only one who figured it all out and got me released from jail just when things looked hopeless. Now I know that you can do the same thing for my life. You can set me free."
Feeling him relax a little, Tea pressed her upper body against his, resting her head against his shoulder. She wiped away a tear. "Todd, I will help you all I can, but you are the only one with the key to that prison, and you have it right here." She ran her hand lightly over his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her as she turned her face up to his. "I'm going to help you find it, Todd. I promise." He bent down and covered her lips with his own and she could feel his passion rising. He pulled away slightly.
"Then say it, Tea. You know I need to hear you say it."
"I love you, Todd. I want you to make love to me." Placing his hand behind her neck, he let it caress her jaw and then slip down her chest toward her cleavage. Reverently, he slowly let his hands drop down as he undid each button on her blouse. Tea shuddered with desire as he lightly brushed her breasts as the garment slid from her shoulders. Growing more urgent, he quickly undid the three buttons at the waist of her wrap-style skirt and pulled it away. He sat back for a minute and drank in the sight of his wife in her lacy white bra and panties. Reaching out his index finger, he hooked it over the front of the bra and slid it slowly across the tops of her breasts, causing her to gasp.
"Very demure, Delgado," he murmured. "Not at all what I expected from you."
"What did you expect, Todd?" she asked, trembling under his touch.
"Red. Definitely red for you. And maybe some of those jungle cat prints you know, leopard and tiger."
"Well guess what Todd? I happen to have some red underwear and tiger print, too," she said in a husky voice.
"I know. I went through your drawers once when you weren't home." As she opened her mouth in outrage, he quickly covered her lips in a passionate kiss, choking off any half-hearted protest over her violated privacy. As she felt him begin to push at her bra straps, she pulled away.
"Not so fast, mister," she teased. "Before things go any further we're going to even the playing field a bit." She reached out and began to undo the buttons on his shirt. He sat docilely with his hands at his sides, staring intently into her face as she stripped away his outer garment, revealing a plain white T-shirt. Kneeling up, he let her slowly unbuckle his belt and unhook his pants. She slid them over his hips, then pushed him back as she pulled his trousers completely off his body. He wore simple white cotton boxers. "Well, talk about the unexpected," she said in surprise. "I never figured you for the Fruit of the Loom type." She giggled.
Todd rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Delgado. This is what they give you in jail, and believe it or not, the Bureau of Prisons doesn't go in for designer underwear. This isn't what I usually wear."
"I know," she said seductively, pressing her body against his. Moving her lips to his she murmured, "I went through your drawers when you were in jail." He crushed her to him passionately, exploring her mouth with his tongue and running his hands over her exposed flesh. She tugged at the hem of his T-shirt and lifted it over his head. After taking a moment to examine his bare torso, she began to explore his many scars with her lips and tongue. Suddenly, he threw himself down full-length on the bed, pulling her on top of him. As they continued planting light kisses all over their partner's face and neck, Todd slid his hands down her back and caressed her buttocks through the light fabric of the panties. Gingerly, his fingers slipped inside the waistband and kneaded her warm flesh. The kisses became deep and intense as he moved up to her bra and unsnapped the hook at the back. She pulled her upper body slightly away from him, allowing him to reach up and brush the bra straps from her shoulders. The garment fell away and Todd drew in his breath sharply as her perfectly formed breasts were revealed to him.
Pushing her down to the bed, he ran his fingertips lightly over her nipples, watching in fascination as they grew hard with desire. Sucking at each breast in turn, he flicked the little hard nubs with his tongue, hanging on tight as Tea arched her back and moaned. She was driven to a frenzy of desire by the silky feeling of his long hair sliding over her sensitive flesh and the prickling of his mustache and goatee as his mouth encircled each areola. His hand slid down her belly and into her panties and she bucked and twisted as he brought her close to climax. She could feel his desire for her pressing through the thin cotton fabric of his boxers. Finally, he leaned down and whispered in a choked voice, "I can't hold on much longer."
Her hands encircled his neck as she stared at his face, her own breath ragged. "I don't want you to." He quickly stripped away her panties, then stood to the side of the bed as he slid his underwear to his feet. Tea gasped as she got her first glimpse of his naked body. He crawled up between her legs and gently slid himself inside her. They began to move together, slowly at first, then with more urgency. As he continued to caress her neck and breasts with his hands and tongue, Tea felt a heat spreading throughout her body that she could no longer contain. She hooked her heels behind his back and held on tightly as she heard Todd cry out her name, arching her body upward. Losing herself as she gave into the waves of sensation coursing through her, she felt him shudder with a similar passion. Tears stung her eyes as his head dropped to her shoulder in exhaustion.
"At last," she thought. "Now we are truly husband and wife." She slowly stroked his hair, wondering if it was possible to love her husband any more than she did in that moment.
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Tea entered the bedroom carrying a tray with a bottle of beer and a turkey sandwich. She had put on a petal-soft pale peach kimono, and her hair was clipped up away from her face. Todd was still in bed, propped up against a pile of pillows, with the sheet drawn up to his waist. He grinned at her, his hair a wild mess around his face. "Ah, the dutiful geisha serves her lord and master," he teased. His wife smiled back as she set the tray across his lap and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Who would have guessed you have such an active fantasy life, Todd?" she laughed. He suddenly became serious, quickly sliding his hands inside her robe and slipping it down over her shoulders, exposing her breasts. With the belt still tied, the silky material bunched around her elbows, imprisoning her arms at her sides. Tea sat impassive, smiling slightly, as her husband gazed at her nudity with obvious pleasure. She enjoyed it when he stared at her this way. Bit by bit, his clearly evident lust was driving away the specter of the awful night during the blizzard when she had first exposed herself to him, and he had refused to look at her. Slowly, Todd reached across the tray and ran his thumb lightly over one nipple. Tea arched her back and drew in her breath sharply. Rapidly, he removed the food and set it on the floor. His hand found the sash of the robe and yanked it free. As the kimono fell fully open, he slipped his hands around her torso and pulled her toward him, allowing the garment to fall completely away. His burning lips branded her chest above the cleavage as his hair fell forward and brushed lightly against her breasts, sending shivers through her body. She ran her fingers through his hair as he moved over to suckle one nipple and then the other, while sliding his hands up and down her back, and caressing her bare buttocks. As she settled onto his lap, his lips found hers and they shared a long, incredibly hot kiss. He reached up and unclipped her hair, smoothing it as it settled around her face. Arms around his neck, Tea nuzzled him playfully with her nose. "It seems like you're out to make up for all the times you refused to make love to me in just one night," she said dreamily.
Todd swung her around by the shoulders and pressed her down sideways on the bed, stretching out next to her and looping his leg over hers. His hands covered her breasts for a moment, and he twirled her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers while kissing her deeply, exploring her mouth with his tongue. Tea arched up as he kissed his way down her neck. "Would it bother you if I did?" he asked huskily, a sense of urgency in his voice.
She entwined her arms behind his neck and stretched up her head to kiss him as he hovered over her. "I can't think of a better way to celebrate your freedom, Todd," she murmured. She felt him tense, and looked up to see him with a far away look on his face. He leaned down to nibble on her lips.
Whispering he said, "I'm still a prisoner, and you're the only one who can set me free, Delgado." His hands roamed over her body at a faster, more eager, pace. As their lips locked in a deep kiss, Tea suddenly flipped over and pressed his body flat on the bed. Holding him down with her hands on his chest, she slid a leg over his torso and sat straddling him. She leaned down and teased him with a slow, lingering kiss.
"Then that's bad news for you, Manning," she said seductively, raising both his arms over his head and pinioning his hands to the bed. "Because you just received a life sentence and I'm not letting you go." She dangled her breasts in his face, holding them just out of range as he strained to reach them with his tongue. Her head moved down so she could cover his face in kisses. With her mouth directly against his ear, she whispered. "Oh, I might have to let you out on work release during the day, but every night you will be confined to my bed." She released his hands and slid her own over his chest, toying with his hair. "And that sentence includes hard labor, so be prepared to be worked often .and thoroughly," she purred.
He flipped her backwards, then crawled on top of her body, nursing in turn at each of her breasts. Moving up, his face was inches from hers. "OK, Warden," he said breathlessly. "Don't expect a model prisoner, but I'm prepared to work on repaying my debt." His hands explored every inch of her body, bringing her close to the point of ecstasy. Suddenly, he stopped, leaving her panting with desire. She opened her eyes to see him lying next to her, staring at her face with a look of abject need. "Just don't send me back to solitary," he whispered. "Not now."
Shivering all over, Tea pulled him around and propped him up against the pillows. Again she straddled his lap, leaning forward to kiss him and wipe the sweat from his brow. With affection she said, "You've spent your last day in solitary, Todd." He gasped as she slid him deep into her own body and began moving rhythmically up and down as she rode him. As they both neared climax, she draped her upper body over his chest and whispered, "Because this warden is going to help you tear down the prison walls brick by brick." With a great cry, Todd arched upward, crushing his wife to him as he found release. Tea shuddered and gasped, finally collapsing in total exhaustion across her husband's body.
After several minutes, Tea finally found the strength to slide her body to the side, resting her head on Todd's shoulder and draping one arm across his chest. He roused himself long enough to tug the sheet up over their lower bodies, then wrapped his arms tightly around her as he succumbed to the exhaustion he felt in every limb. "Thank you," he whispered. He knew she was already asleep as he continued, "Thanks for my freedom." Kissing the top of her head he said, "I'm your captive now, Delgado, and my running days are over."
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