PART TWO
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Wait for me, Benny. Here I come, she thought with a grin.
Finally satisfied that she was all put together, Jessica grabbed her purse off the end table and reached for the doorknob. The phone rang. Shoot, she thought with annoyance. Always when I'm halfway out the door. She sighed and reached for the phone.
“Hello?” Buchanan Residence.” An official-sounding voice asked her if she was Victoria Carpenter. "No, I’m her daughter, Jessica. Hold on a second, I'll get her." Jessica, began to feel nervous for no reason she could fathom. The call could be about anything, but for some reason, she knew it wasn't good news. Her instincts never failed her and she knew the minute she heard that voice that she wouldn't be seeing any movie tonight
She swallowed hard and covered the ear of the phone so the caller wouldn't hear her shout.
"Mom!"
Viki came downstairs a minute later, smiling patiently. “My goodness Jessica, what is it?”
Jessica’s held out the reciever to her. “It’s for you,” she said quietly, “I-- I think it’s bad news.”
Viki looked at her quizzically, frowning slightly and took the phone. "This is Victoria Carpenter. May I help you?"
As Viki listenened, Jessica could see her trembling ever so slightly. Then the phone dropped from her grasp, as if she'd lost all feeling in her hand, and hit the floor with a clatter.
"Mom, what is it? I knew it was bad. It's bad isn't it?"
"Jessie--," Viki's voice was strained. "I dropped the phone, could you hand it to me please?"
Jessica wordlessly picked it up and gave it back to her and Viki thanked the caller for his information, then hung up.
“Mom?” Jessica sounded worried.
“I think I should sit down,” Viki moaned. Jessica helped her to the couch and sat with her, holding her hand.
“Mom, are you okay?”
“Jessica, I don’t think I am. Sweetheart, you're uncle Todd is dead." She went on to repeat the information she was given, that Todd was on a plane bound for Chicago. An engine fire caused it to descend and crash into Lake Michigan. His body wasn't recovered at the scene. There were--
“No survivors,” Viki whispered. Saying the words out loud made her feel faint and she was glad that she was sitting down. She wasn't sure if she would have been too steady on her feet at this point. The world seemed to swim in waves of gray before her eyes and she closed them. Tears started to form behind her eyelids."
Viki shook her head, "No, I can’t be true. It just can’t be true. He can’t be dead. He's too young and vital. He has a daughter that needs him. He can't be dead."
"Oh Mom," Jessica side, tears forming in her own eyes. She had always had a fondness for her uncle and she knew that he felt the same for her. "I'm so sorry, Mom. Im so sorry this happened."
“Oh Jessie, I loved him so much. Just as if he were my own child. I'll gladly forgive him for what he did, for everything, if I could see him right now. Now, I'll never have that chance.” With that, the tears started to fall freely down her cheeks and Jessica held her as she cried. They stayed like that for a long time, then Jessica suggested that they have some relaxing tea. Viki, nodded, and Jessica started to go get it when the doorbell rang. She hurried to it before her mother could move. Jessica thought that Viki was too grief-striken to see anyone, but the truth was, Viki badly wanted to be around people who also loved Todd. She'd called Tina and told her the news, and though Tina had never been close to Todd, she was upset to hear about his death, as were C.J. and Sarah who liked and remembered their uncle. She'd also wanted to talk to Téa and Sam, but that seemed to be all the strength she could muster to repeat the words, "Todd is dead".
Fortunately, Sam had the same idea and as soon as he heard, he made his way to Llanfair. He knew that if anyone could understand how they felt, it was Viki. Except for Starr, she loved Todd best of all.
Ringing the doorbell, he tried to think of what he would say to her. He wanted to offer her some kind of comfort, but he could scarcely offer it to himself. He'd hated what Todd did, the stunt he pulled, how he'd manipulated them all in such a callous and calculated way, but the truth of the matter was, he loved the kid. He felt like Todd was the son he would have had if the fates hadn't played the cruel joke of allowing him to be raised by Peter Manning.
When he'd seen Todd at the airport that last time, when he'd hugged him, he'd hoped that Todd's time away would teach him a few things about the way his life affected those who cared for him. It would give him a chance to regroup himself, and hopefully, get much needed help. All it did was kill him.
"Oh Boomer," he sighed as he rang the bell again. He could feel a tear welling up in his eye and he coughed it away. It wouldn't do for Viki to see him coming apart at the seams.
Jessica opened the door, her pretty face pale and drawn. "Sam, hi."
"Hello Jessica, can I come in?"
Jessica hesitated, wondering if and how she should tell Sam to leave.
"It's okay, Jessie," she heard from behind her, "Please let him in."
Jessica moved to let Sam in the door, smiling apologetically. Sam patted her shoulder to let her know he understood what she was trying to do.
Viki was sitting on the couch in the drawing room. She'd been crying for hours and it showed in her red-rimmed eyes, her pinched and swollen face.
Sam sat next to her and they immediately hugged each other.
"Sam," she murmured into his shoulder.
"I know, I know. I loved him too, just like he was my own kid."
Viki looked at him, nodding enthusiastically at the sentiment.
Jessica excused herself to give them some privacy.
They stayed like that for awhile, sharing their grief other their lost "son".
Finally, Sam pulled away and stood up and walked toward the fireplace, not wanting to meet Viki's gaze as he said the next thing on his mind.
'I feel like this is all my fault."
Viki was silenced for a minute, eyes wide and incredulous. "Why Sam?"
"Because I... I wasn't there for him when he needed me. I let him be abused by that monster Peter Manning. I can't believe I didn't realize what was going on. I could have saved him, Viki. Then he wouldn't have turned out like he did. He wouldn't have done all the terrible things he did. He wouldn't have run away. He wouldn't have died."
"Well then, you might as well blame yourself for not fathering him, also. No, my wonderful loving father had that honor instead of you. He didn't realize the treasure he had in Todd, the beautiful, brilliant son that he had, and he threw him away. And if that weren't enough, he threw him away to a man who was incapable of loving anyone or anything. It's not your fault, Sam. You know that."
He nodded, "I know you're right. I just feel so terrible. Like I failed him, you know?"
"I do." It was so quiet, Sam had to look at her. Her hands were fluttering in her lap like tiny, white birds and she stared sadly down at them.
Sam sat down next to her, taking one of her hands in his. "I'm ashamed to admit this now," he began, his voice taking on a gruff tone, "but there was a time when I thought how much less complicated my life would be without Todd in it. The thought was gone as quickly as it had come, but it was there. How could I think such a thing?"
Viki smiled wanly at her friend, "Todd brings complications with him, Sam. He is complicated. I don't blame you for thinking that at all. It's natural. You loved him, and he loved you. That's what matters."
He nodded. "What are we going to do without him?"
"I don't know. I just don't know."