Tom was terrified. He could not grasp what they were saying to him. He suddenly felt Peter's finger and knuckle pressing against his throat, cutting off his air and his voice. He felt the pain of Peter's cigarettes and they burned his chest. He could not understand why they were letting Peter hurt him. As the sedative hit he tried to call and reach out one more time.

***********************************************************************************************************

Todd had been taken off the ventilator. The wrist restraints had been removed. For the time being he was not given any additional sedation. He needed to be assessed. His vitals were normal, for him. However he was extremely weak. Todd had managed to survive yet another crisis. Viki, Sam and Susannah were by his bed when he started to show signs of waking up. He was moaning softly in his sleep.

"His chest and throat hurt like hell right now," Susannah informed them. "Todd! Todd! It's Doctor Hanen. Can you hear me?"

His moaning got a little louder. It did not sound like Todd moaning. It sounded like one of the children. His eyes started to open. Then they closed. Then they shot open as the full extent of the pain registered. "It hurrrrrts," Timmy moaned softly. He tried to reach out but felt too weak to lift his arms.

"Timmy. I know it hurts. Todd was very sick and we had to put a tube in his throat and a press on his chest to make him better. That's why his body hurts now.

"I can't breath good," Timmy whimpered.

"Sweetie, do you mean because it hurts to take a breath?" Susannah asked.

He just barely nodded. He was so weak, he could hardly move his head or cry. He just lay there, limply.

"Mommy," Timmy whimpered. It was almost inaudible. He was hardly able to make a sound.

Doctor Anderson, the neurologist who had seen Todd when he first became blind, had been called as soon as Todd showed signs of waking up. He now entered the ICU unit and walked over to Todd's bed.

Sam and Viki said their hello's.

"This is Timmy. Timmy is four years old," Susannah spoke up. She wanted to make sure Doctor Anderson was aware of the situation.

"Hello Timmy. My name is Doctor Anderson."

Timmy stared up at him. Clearly terrified, but not able to move away.

"Sweetie, Doctor Anderson won't hurt you. I promise. He won't give you any shots or do anything at all that hurts," Susannah assured him as she stroked his cheek. "He's in a lot of pain," Susannah informed Doctor Anderson.

"Okay Timmy, we'll make this quick," Doctor Anderson said and took a penlight out of his pocket. "I'm just going to shine this in your eyes. It won't hurt."

He held onto Timmy's forehead as he shined the light in his eyes. Timmy closed his eyes tightly and moaned.

"Does the light hurt your eyes?" Doctor Anderson asked.

"Mommy," Timmy whimpered.

"Does he seem oriented to you?" Doctor Anderson asked Susannah.

"As much as can be expected," Susannah replied and then said, "John, I'm not sure you can really evaluate him now. He's in so much pain and he is terrified."

"I'll do the best I can. I'll see him again after he's had some time to heal.

Doctor Anderson pointed to Viki. "Timmy can you tell me who this is?" Viki realized Timmy was not strong enough to turn his head so she stepped into his line of vision.

"Mommy," Timmy answered.

"No baby, it's Viki," she corrected him and stroked his head.

"Mrs. Carpenter, I need Timmy to answer," Doctor Anderson gently explained. He motioned for Sam to stand where Timmy could see him. "Timmy do you know who this is?"

"Sam," Timmy answered in a whisper. He mouthed it more than say it out loud.

"That's very good Timmy. Do you know how old you are?"

They looked down at Timmy's right hand as he tried to raise four fingers.

"Very good. Timmy, I want you to follow my finger with your eyes, okay?" Doctor Anderson instructed.

"It hurrrrts," Timmy moaned, as a tear finally made it's way down his cheek.

"John, I think we'd better let this go for now. I don't suspect neurological damage. We brought him back in less than two minutes.

"All right Timmy. I'll let you rest now. You've been a very brave boy," Doctor Anderson praise him and patted his leg.

"Thank you, John. I'll call you in a day or two," Susannah said, patting his arm.

Susannah went to the nurses station and ordered some pain medication and headed back to Timmy's bed.

"Can I lift him?" Viki asked Susannah.

"You can try. He's still very sore, but it may comfort him," Susannah responded.

"Come here sweetheart," Viki said soothingly as she gently lifted Timmy's upper body to her.

Timmy moaned as she lifted him. "Mommy," he whispered when he felt himself in Viki's arms. He was too weak to put his arms around her. They just hung limply at his sides.

Sam held on to Timmy's right hand. Viki held him close to her. A nurse added some pain med to his IV.

"Make it stop hurting," Timmy begged as some more tears trickled down his cheek.

"Timmy it'll start to feel better soon," Susannah promised.

"It hurts a lot. It hurts a lot! I can't breath good. Make it stoooop," Timmy cried.

"Timmy, sweetie I want you to go to Miss Perkins. Can you do that? If you go back to Miss Perkins, it will stop hurting. Miss Perkins, if you can hear me I want you to help Timmy go back inside. Todd's body is in a lot of pain. Miss Perkins, Goodone, Carol, you need to keep all the children and Todd inside with you. Can you each please hold onto your children and Todd so none of them need to suffer?" Susannah addressed Timmy again. "Timmy, I know you're in a lot of pain. Sweetie, I want you to try to relax your body as best you can and look for Miss Perkins. Do you see her?"

"Noooo," Timmy moaned.

"Viki lay him down," Susannah instructed.

Viki slowly and gently laid him back down. "Ohhhh," Timmy moaned as Viki moved him.

Susannah stroked his head and said, "Close your eyes sweetie and try to relax your body."

She knew Timmy was in so much pain, that it might not be possible. "It hurrrrrts," he whimpered again.

"I know Timmy, I know. Miss Perkins, talk to Timmy. Let him follow your voice."

The pain medication was helping a little and Timmy relaxed slightly. He appeared to be listening to something.

"Do you hear Miss Perkins?" Susannah asked.

"Uh huh," Timmy whispered. He tried to turn on his side, but the pain and his weakened condition prevented it.

"Listen to Miss Perkins' voice sweetie. Go towards her voice," Susannah encouraged.

Timmy's eyes became blank. He found his way. He was no longer in pain.

"Thank you, Miss Perkins," Susannah said quietly.

Inside, Miss Perkins was holding her arms out for Timmy. He ran to them and buried his face against her thigh.

"It's all right now Timmy. Let Miss Perkins take care of you. There is no need for you to feel all that pain. Come," Miss Perkins said, holding out her hand, "Tom is here. You can play with him. Try not to wake Jimmy and Pete. They have been asleep for a while now."

Todd's body remained as Timmy had left it, expressionless, eyes blank. They would close when Todd's body slept, but during a waking stage they just stared, not seeing anyone or anything.

Sam, Viki and Susannah were relieved he stayed that way. His condition remained stable. If all went well he would be going back to his own room day after tomorrow. Susannah went back to her apartment, for the first time in over forty-eight hours. She showered and washed her hair. She put on a warm fuzzy blue bathrobe. She fixed herself some tea and put a frozen French bread pizza in the oven. She was surprised by the sound of her doorbell. When she peeked through the interviewer, she was even more surprised to see Bill standing outside her door. Susannah quickly opened the door part way.

"I know I can trust you to tell me, honestly, if you are not up for company. I can just leave this and go." Bill smiled and held up the pizza carton he was carrying.

Looking down at the fuzzy robe she was wearing and fingering her wet hair Susannah hesitated for a moment. She then realized that for some reason she did not feel uncomfortable. She opened the door wide.

"I guess great minds think alike. I just put a frozen pizza in the oven," Susannah joked.

"This, Doctor Hanen, is genuine Chicago style, deep dish. Or so the sign outside the restaurant promised," Bill stated lightly.

"I guess we'll just have to see about that," Susannah stated. Her smile grew larger. "How did you know I was home?" Susannah inquired.

"I went by the hospital and Sam told me. Sam was with Todd. He told me Viki had gone to the lounge for a while."

"Was Todd asleep when you were there?" Susannah asked.

Bill heard the concern in her voice. "Don't worry, I wasn't about to ask him anything," Bill reassured her.

"No, I wasn't asking for that reason. I mean were his eyes open or closed?"

"Closed, why? Does he sometimes sleep with his eyes open?"

"I helped Todd, well actually Timmy, go into a dissociative state before I left."

"Why would you do that?" Bill was fascinated by this case.

"He was in a great deal of pain and very frightened. I was trying to avoid having to heavily medicate him again. Timmy is extremely suggestible. I helped him to go back inside and find Miss Perkins and let her take care of him."

"So, even though the pain is real and physical, once he's inside he can't feel it?" Bill was intrigued

"No, I'm sure he's at peace and pain free. I was afraid one of the others would come out, but thank goodness no one did. Todd's body is very, very sore," Susannah informed Bill.

"Is that kind of like people who are hypnotized before surgery and are able to go through it without anesthesia?" Bill was curious.

"Something like that. I don't mean to cut you off, but the smell of that pizza is driving me crazy. Can we eat?" Susannah asked and headed for the kitchen, not waiting for an answer.

"Is the coffee table all right?" She asked when she came back into the living room carrying some plates and napkins.

"That'll be fine," Bill agreed. He set the pizza box down on the far end of the coffee table.

"Would you like some wine?" Susannah offered.

"That would be great," Bill replied. He sat down on the couch.

Susannah came back carrying a bottle of red wine and two wineglasses. Bill liked the fact that Susannah didn't wait for him to open the wine. She got a corkscrew, opened it and poured. They each put a slice of pizza on their plate, and took a bite.

"Not bad," they both said at the exact same time, and burst into laughter.

They ate their pizza and talked about the Cubs and about Bill's children. He explained that he and his ex-wife were on friendly terms. They had gotten married right out of high school. She helped put him through school and then he helped her realize her dream of becoming a high school math teacher. Their marriage kind of lost steam. There was no one else in the picture. They just grew apart. They both wanted joint custody of the children and all involved seemed reasonably happy.

"My kids seem to feel equally at home at my apartment or at the house with their mom," Bill said, as he helped himself to another slice.

Susannah refilled the wine glasses.

"Are you planning on going back to the hospital tonight?" Bill asked.

"No, I am going to recharge my circuits," Susannah stated with a smile and added, "Viki and Sam will not leave, whether I am there or not. They'll beep me if there is a problem. I'm hoping Todd will stay in this state for a couple of days, just until his body has had a chance to heal a little." Susannah stretched her legs out in front of her. "So when are you going back to Chicago?" Susannah asked in her usual straightforward manner.

"You know, I kind of thought I'd stick around Llanview for a few days. As far as Michelle goes, we've kind of hit a dead end for the time being. I could have every wooded area that is approximately twenty miles in every direction from the house Todd lived in dug up. I don't think the taxpayers would appreciate that. So for now I'll just wait. Sooner or later we have to hear something about the family or perhaps Todd or one of the alters will be well enough for you to broach the subject with them."

"Well, I doubt if that could happen in a few days," Susannah responded and drained her glass of the deep red liquid in it. "I have some chocolate chip cookies and I may have some Cherry Garcia, would you care to indulge?" Susannah tempted Bill.

They had their ice cream and cookies. As much as Susannah was enjoying Bill's company, the last few days and the wine were catching up with her. She could hardly keep her eyes open.

Bill noticed and commented, "I think one of us needs to get some sleep."

"Bill I'm sorry. I guess I'm more tired than I thought. God, I must be getting old. I remember back in medical school I could pull two all nighters in a row and still be fresh for class the next morning."

"Gee, two days with hardly any sleep, going through the emotional wringer for almost all of those two days, almost losing someone you love and then personally willing them back to life and spending the night guarding them from death . . . I just can't imagine why you would be tired. And here I thought only Kryptonite could take you down, Doctor Hanen?" Bill put things in perspective.

"It has been know to," Susannah joked and grinned. "Are you going to let me keep the rest of the pizza for breakfast tomorrow or do you want to take it with you?" Susannah's tone clearly let Bill know she planned on keeping it.

"I think the chef at the Palace would be highly insulted if I didn't place my breakfast order. Goodnight Doctor Hanen," Bill said, standing up and putting his coat on.

"Thanks for the pizza, not bad for the Pennsylvania edition," Susannah remarked as she walked him to the door.

"Not bad at all," Bill looked into Susannah's eyes as he said that and then he left.

Before she went to bed, Susannah called Viki. Viki said Todd still seemed to be in a dissociative state when he was awake. He would open his eyes, but they remained glassy and blank. He wasn't moving or moaning. Viki also told Susannah that both she and Sam would be with him through the night. They would take turns sleeping and that they were both fine. She told Susannah to get a good night's sleep and she would see her in the morning.

Susannah called the nurses station and was told that Todd's vitals were good and since he didn't seem to be in pain he had not been given any additional pain meds. He was getting his scheduled feedings and his latest blood work showed his electrolytes to be within a normal range. His renal functions were normal and he had no arrhythmias.

Susannah was relieved to hear it. 'Goodone, Miss Perkins, Carol, take care of them, she thought to herself.

Susannah slept in her own bed for the first time in nearly three days. She awoke feeling rested and refreshed. She quickly showered, got dressed and headed for the hospital. She grabbed a cold piece of last night's pizza to eat on the way.

Sam was with Todd. Viki had gone to shower and change. Todd's body was as Susannah had left it. He was awake, but still in a dissociative state.

"I guess it's best he stay this way for now," Sam observed.

"Yes, he will still be in a lot of pain if he comes back," Susannah agreed.

Doctor Williams, Todd's cardiologist, came in and checked him out. Susannah explained to him about the state Todd was in. He informed her that he had scheduled him for an echocardiogram for ten o'clock.

Viki came back into the room. Seeing Todd's eyes were opened, she kissed his head and said, "Good morning, sweetheart."

Susannah told them that after the echo Todd would be taken to the step down unit.

"Are you sure he's well enough for that?" Viki asked anxiously.

"Absolutely, he's been stable for over twenty-four hours. I'm hoping to have him back in his room by late tomorrow or the next day. Then he needs to start getting out of bed and moving around. How are you doing?" Susannah asked Viki.

"I'm fine. I'll be a lot better if no one fusses over me," Viki's tone told Susannah she was clearly annoyed by the attention.

Viki looked at Susannah and apologized. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just think you and Sam have enough to worry about with Todd. You don't have to concern yourselves with my state of mind. I'm fine! And I will be even better once I find out this didn't cause any permanent damage to Todd's heart."

"Viki, I'm reasonably sure there isn't. We should get the results of the echo within an hour after it's completed." Susannah patted Viki's arm.

Susannah was still worried about her. Viki did not want to talk about what had happened with Todd the other day. She was acting like nothing had happened. Susannah was hoping that once this crisis had completely passed and Todd was back in his own room Viki might open up.

As Susannah had hoped, the echo showed this latest crisis had left no permanent damage to Todd's heart. Doctor Williams, who was also the head of cardiology, went over Todd's test results personally, at Susannah's request. He did however recommend that for the next week or so Todd should not be stressed too much, physically or emotionally and that he would still be pretty weak for a while. Easier said then done, Susannah thought to herself.

Todd had been settled in the step down unit. Viki and Sam were with him. They were ecstatic over the news. They had been so afraid for Todd.

Susannah looked into Todd's blank eyes. She knew somewhere in that amazing mind Todd and the children were being comforted by their "parents."

Sam had gone to Tea's office for a while. He wanted to fill her in on Todd's condition and he also helped her with Todd's paperwork. Business didn't stop because Todd was sick. They wanted to make sure Todd still had a life to come back to.

"Sam, have you and Viki ever thought about just taking Todd home for a while? I'm sorry, I know Susannah is doing her best and I know that sooner or later Todd will have to complete therapy in order to function, but I'm afraid that hospital is going to kill him."

Sam had thought about it, but he understood the danger of doing that. "Tea, we wouldn't be helping him. For one thing, right now, because of his physical condition he's better off in a hospital. The main reason is that Todd has absolutely no control over the alters. He also has no control over the flashbacks he and the others have. Many times, he has to be restrained and sedated for his own good. I hate his being there as much as you do, but I'm afraid that is where he needs to be now," Sam said sadly. As he always did he forced himself to stay strong for Todd.

Tea nodded her head in acceptance of what Sam said. She wished she could wrap her arms around Todd and stop his suffering. Tea and Sam went over Todd's papers. They were constantly amazed at how many charities he gave to. And the fact that Todd was such wonderful business man. He had parlayed that twenty-seven point eight million dollars he inherited into well over sixty million. More than doubling it in the few years he had access to it.

"I don't imagine there is anything Boomer can't do once he puts his mind to it," Sam commented. He was in awe of Todd's many gifts.

As Sam got up to leave Tea took his arm and said, "Sam, give him a kiss for me, okay?"

Sam realized how hard this was on Tea, maybe harder than on anyone because she could not even be with him. At least he and Viki could see him and touch him. They could watch him breath at night and know that he's alive. What must it be like for Tea? Terror every time the phone rings. Terror that this will be the phone call that tells her husband is dead.

Sam could only imagine how Tea's heart must pound if a wrong number dialed her phone at three in the morning. He wondered how she felt when she saw couples together, holding hands, doing family things or when she saw a little girl with her mother. He wondered how her heart must ache every time someone asks her how Todd is. Are you happy Peter? Sam thought, Aare you happy, you son of a bitch? Is this enough suffering for you?

"I will give Todd a kiss and a hug and if one of the children are out I will tell them it came from you," Sam promised. He squeezed Tea's hand.

Tea nodded. The tears in her eyes spilled down her cheeks.

Susannah was in her office catching up on her notes when Bill knocked on the door.

"Come in," Susannah called out.

"Now why am I not surprised to see you up to the elbows in work as usual?" Bill commented.

Susannah looked up and saw the warm and caring smile on Bill's face and smiled back. She was happy that he decided to pay her a visit.

In a more serious tone, Bill asked, "How is he?"

"I have good new for a change. He had an echocardiogram and it showed there was no damage done this time. His heart is a little weak but nothing that should effect him in the long run. We just have to be careful with him. He's been moved to the step down unit and he should be back in his own room tomorrow," Susannah replied cheerfully.

"Is he still in . . . what was that? A dissociative state?"

"Yes, that's okay though. I want him to stay that way for a while. As long as they stay inside we can cut back on the pain meds and the sedatives," Susannah explained.

"Let me ask you something? Someday, when Todd is integrated, will he remember this? I don't just mean going into cardiac arrest. I mean everything that he has blocked out his whole life, everything each alter has gone through. Will that all come back to him?"

"Yeah, probably most of it will," Susannah confirmed.

"How will he be able to stand that? How could anyone stand that? How can you expect him to remember so much pain and suffering and so much horror? Wouldn't the memories just drive him insane?" Bill could not imagine having to go through that.

"It will be excruciatingly painful for Todd, more than you can possibly imagine. Of course the memories won't all come flooding back to him at once. In fact even within each memory, he may only remember fragments of it at one time. I would give anything, anything, to spare him that. If I could give him some magic pill or treatment to heal him without his having to remember I would do it in a minute, but there is no magic for Todd. The worst part of it now is the flashbacks. Todd and many of the alters cannot have a memory of an incident without reliving it. For them, at that moment it is happening again."

"You're telling me they actually feel the pain of everything as much now as they did then?" Bill was horrified at the thought.

Susannah nodded and stared off into space as she continued to list the horrors Todd and most of the alters went through. Bill was the only one she could let go with.

"They are back in Chicago, Bill, and every bit of pain and fear they felt then is felt again. They feel the buckle of Peter's belt cutting into their flesh. They feel Peter's cigarette, as it burns holes in them. They feel the heat of his lighter as the flames reach their palms. They feel him lash out at them and break their bones. They hear his words telling them they are bad, stupid, worthless, losers and clumsy little bastards. They hear the warnings of what will happen if they tell their secrets. They see their mother being abused and they feel her leaving them over and over again. Todd still feels the note she left him in his hand. Some of them feel the weight of Peter's body pressing down on them, stealing the breath from their little bodies, as he sodomized them. Or they feel him squeezing their genitals until they scream in pain and then they feel the punishment for crying out. They feel the panic of knowing that if they cried they would be punished even more and if they didn't cry the punishment would continue until they did. They all remember the lesson Peter taught them well, no matter what you do, you lose."

Bill noticed the haunted look in Susannah's eyes as she continued.

"Todd and then the teen Todd know what it's like to be happy one moment because a friend you care very much about has thought enough about you to bring you a birthday cake and in the next minute to be humiliated, beaten, burned and raped in front of her. The fourteen year old Todd knows what it feels like to watch that friend be raped and murdered in front of his eyes and then to stand in the cold woods on a January night and be forced to bury her body. They feel all of this and more and relive it over and over and over again. If someday Todd can remember and digest the trauma and then acknowledge the feelings and allow himself to feel them and then let go of them, he will no longer need the alters, not in the active sense. They will always be a part of him. Just not a separate part, like they are now."

Bill shuddered. It seemed inhuman to expect that boy to remember all of that. He didn't believe he could and still survive.

Reading his thoughts, Susannah nodded in acknowledgment of what Bill was thinking and declared, "I know, but somewhere in that fragile body and mind is the spirit that that managed to survive all of those things. Somewhere inside Todd is the strength he used to break the cycle of abuse with his own child. Somewhere in there is the part of Todd that will survive against all odds. That's the part I need to reach. That is the part that can begin to remember. That is the part that will save him."

"Are you sure that part is still alive and well?" Bill sounded worried.

"Oh yes! That's the part that kept Todd alive the other night. That is also the part that is telling Todd and the alters to stay inside now. I believe with all my heart that Todd can be helped. I believe he can be made whole and go back to his life and family." Tears welled up in Susannah's eyes and she quietly added. "I believe he will be able to watch is daughter grow up and dance at her wedding. I would not put him through this if I didn't. If you were to ask Todd he would say to leave him alone and let him go home, but I know there is a part of him that does not want to be given up on. It's a part that wants us to keep fighting for him no matter how much he begs us not to. Todd is lucky in that respect. He has people to fight for him." Susannah and Bill had lunch in the cafeteria then Bill headed for Philadelphia. Sam had arranged for him to meet with Joe Alexander, the PI who was looking for Michelle's family. Bill wanted to speak with this man in person and to go over every word of his reports.

Susannah stayed at the table and had another cup of coffee. She realized that just being able to say everything she had said about Todd, out loud to someone, made a tremendous difference. She could never say those things to Sam or Viki. She had not realized how much anger and sadness she was keeping pent up inside her. Physician heal thyself, she thought.

Susannah headed back to the unit Todd was on. She saw Sam coming off the elevator. "Hi, how's Tea doing," Susannah asked.

"Not so good. She is so alone. As hard as it is to watch Todd suffer I think having to stay away from him is even harder."

"I think I'll give Tea a call in a few days and see if she would like to come see me, just to talk and to let her know that she is still an important part of Todd's treatment team and his life."

"Susannah, that's a great idea. I'm sure Tea will appreciate it," Sam praised.

They headed to the room Todd was in.

"I was just going to call you," Viki stated excitedly, "I think he's coming back."

Susannah looked at Todd. His fingers were moving and his blinking had increased.

"Do you think the pain has eased a little?" Sam asked.

"It should more bearable today," Susannah confirmed and then added, "If not, we'll give him some pain med."

Susannah took Todd's right hand in hers and asked, "Todd, do you want to come back now? It's all right to come back if you want to. We're here with you."

"Where's Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda?" Timmy whispered weakly.

"Hi sweetie! They're right here." Sam had gone to get them yesterday, just in case Timmy wanted them.

"How do you feel?" Susannah asked gently.

"It hurts here and here," Timmy whispered hoarsely and pointed to his throat and chest, before his arm fell back down to his side. They knew that the pain was not as bad as it had been. Although Timmy was starting to cry, he was not as terrified as he had been yesterday. Susannah knew that now the pain med would be enough to make him reasonably comfortable.

"We'll try to make it feel better, okay sweetie?"

Timmy nodded. Susannah ordered the medication. Timmy was trying to hold onto his stuffed animals but they could see he was still too weak to keep his arm in that position. Sam positioned the toy rabbit and panda against Timmy and gently lifted his arm up and put it around the toys. He held it there for him.

"Is that better?" Sam asked tenderly.

Timmy nodded.

"Mrs. Carpenter, your son is in the waiting area. He asked me to tell you he was here," a tech told Viki.

"Thank you. I'll be right out," Viki replied

"Hi Mom. How's he doing and how are you and Sam doing?" "We're fine. Honey, I'm so glad you came now. Timmy is awake. I just know seeing you would make him so happy."

Kevin didn't say anything to Viki, but he had been hoping Timmy would be out and alert enough to see him. "Sure Mom," Kevin responded and asked, "Is he still in much pain?"

"Some. Susannah just gave him some medication for it. He's very, very weak, Kevin. He can't even lift his arm long enough to hold onto the toy you gave him. Sam is holding his arm around it for him."

Kevin bit his lip to keep from crying. He cleared his throat before he spoke. "I was relieved when you called and said his heart is okay," Kevin stated. Kevin almost let out an audible gasp when he walked into the room. It hadn't been that long since he'd seen Timmy and he was shocked at how bad he looked. Susannah and Sam had gotten used to it and Viki really wasn't allowing herself to see it.

Timmy's ribs protruded sharply through the thin hospital gown. His eyes had huge dark circles under them, emphasizing the paleness of his skin. His body lay limply in a bed that he looked very small in. Kevin knew immediately what he reminded him of. He looked like the pictures Kevin had seen of the Holocaust victims.

Timmy's eyes lit up when he saw Kevin. He even managed a little smile.

"Hey buddy! I heard my bestest friend in the whole world wasn't feeling too good?"

"Kevin!" Timmy whispered and tried to reach out for a hug, but could not lift his arms.

"Can I hug him?" Kevin asked. He wasn't sure because Timmy looked as if he would break with just the slightest pressure.

"Sure, just be gentle," Susannah answered.

Kevin sat on the side of the bed. He reached down and lifted Timmy to him and held him against his chest. "There we go buddy. Oh Timmy, I really needed a hug. How about you?"

Timmy nodded. Even though it hurt a little when Kevin lifted him, Timmy was happy to be in Kevin's arms. "I was bad so now it hurts all over," Timmy whispered.

They realized Timmy was thinking Peter had punished him and that's why he was in so much pain.

"Timmy, your body is sore because Todd was sick, remember sweetie? I told you that we had to push down on Todd's chest and put a tube in his throat?" Susannah reminded him.

Timmy shook his head.

Susannah figured he might not remember what transpired when he first woke up.

"You don't think we'd let anyone punish you while we're around, do you?" Kevin declared. He stroked Timmy's hair back as he continued to hold him. "All of us and your friends here," Kevin took his hand away from Timmy's head and scooped up Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda, "Will never let anyone punish you."

"I have to get punished. I'm always bad," Timmy whispered.

"No Timmy. That's not true. Do you trust me?" Kevin asked.

Timmy nodded.

"Do you think I would lie to my bestest friend?"

Timmy shook his head.

"Okay then. I am telling you that you are the best boy in the whole world and if anyone told you, you were bad, they were wrong!" Then hugging Timmy a little tighter, Kevin admitted, "A lot of us were wrong Timmy. Sometimes we tell people things we shouldn't. We make them feel bad about themselves. We make them feel bad and then they do bad things because we made them feel that way in the first place. Do you understand?"

Timmy shook his head again.

Viki, Susannah and Sam understood. They knew that Kevin was trying to say he was sorry.

The pain medication kicked in and Timmy was falling asleep in Kevin's arms. Kevin gently laid him back down. He could see that Timmy wanted to turn on his side, but didn't have the strength to do it.

"Is it all right if I turn him?" Kevin asked.

Susannah nodded and cautioned, "Slowly and carefully."

Kevin gently turned Timmy on his right side. Timmy moaned slightly and then drew his knees up as much as he had strength for. He seemed to be more comfortable. Kevin lifted up Timmy's arm and put Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda under it.

"I love you, Kevin," Timmy whispered and fell asleep.

This time biting his lip didn't help to stop the flow of tears that trickled down cheeks. He pulled the sheet and blanket up over Timmy's shoulders and kissed his forehead. "Sleep tight buddy, I love you too."

"Is he really going to be all right?" Kevin asked Susannah as she walked him to the elevator.

"Kevin, I won't lie to you. Todd's physical health is precarious. Right now he's not in danger." This was the most honest answer Susannah could give him.

"He can hardly move his head. He can't lift his arms or turn over by himself," Kevin stated.

"He is extremely weak, much more so than he had been. That will pass. He will start to get stronger. Bed rest alone can weaken our bodies. Once he's in his own room and the pain has subsided enough to allow him to move around he should start getting some strength back. I am really happy that you came here today. It meant a lot to Timmy. You make him feel very special when you come to see him. You make him feel like he is worth something."

Kevin smiled sadly.

"What?" Susannah asked, noticing the smile.

"I wonder what Todd would think of my relationship with Timmy? I have a feeling he wouldn't approve," Kevin pointed out the irony of the situation.

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