SECRETS - PART FIVE
Todd was trapped. He had no escape and he knew it. When Todd suddenly felt a sharp pain, unlike any he had ever felt before, he found his means of escape. He found a way that would serve him well for many years to come. It was on this night that Todd discovered how to "go away", to "go someplace inside his head."
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Téa Delgado had been standing outside Todd's cell, her brain barely able to take in what she had just witnessed. Her husband, the man she loved with all her heart, was sitting on the floor of his jail cell talking to his sister and Sam as if they were strangers to him. The man in the cell was not acting like the man she married, for that matter not like a man at all, but a frightened child. A part of Tea wanted to rush in and hold her husband, to tell him it would be okay. Another part wanted to run as far and as fast as she could. She couldn't bear to see Todd this way, to see the tremendous amount of pain he was in. She was also afraid, like the others, he would not recognize her and she knew she could not handle that. Téa stepped back, away from Todd's cell, and leaned against the wall and could not stop herself from crying.
Timmy was considerably calmer now, but still very confused by his surroundings.
"Timmy, I'll be right back. I'm just going over there to talk to Sam," Viki said. She could see that Timmy looked puzzled, and realized he didn't know who Sam was. "That nice man over there," she said pointing to Sam.
"Okay," the childlike voice answered. Sam had the look of someone who had just had a great shock. His face was pale and his voice was shaking.
"Viki, my God! What's going on here? What's wrong with him? He doesn't seem to know me. Why does he look and sound that way? Why is he acting as if Peter and Barbara are still alive? Why . . . ."
Viki cut him off before he could ask any more questions. "Sam listen to me. I will answer all your questions, but right now you need to know that we have to get Todd out of here. We have to get him to a doctor. Neither of us have the training to handle this, we . . ."
Before Viki could finish her sentence, she and Sam heard a familiar voice. They turned and saw Todd standing up. He looked frightened and confused but definitely looked like Todd.
"What's going on, what's hap . . ." Todd stopped himself. He did not want to give away the fact that he had no idea what had just happened and why he found himself on the floor or that he had no memory of his sister coming into his jail cell. As was always the case when Todd "came back", he felt anxious and confused, but was well practiced in covering up the fact that he had no idea what was going on.
He tried to be nonchalant as he looked down to see what he was wearing and felt relief to see he still had on the same clothes as he last remembered having on. He then, as casually as he could, went to look at his watch, but realized that they must have taken it from him when he was booked. He was pretty sure it was still the same day. He didn't know if just a few minutes had passed or if it had been hours. He knew he had to watch what he said until he assessed the situation. He had no idea that the secret he had guarded for so many years had been witnessed by not only Viki, Sam and Téa, but by Bo Buchanan as well.
"Boomer, are you okay?" Sam asked. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I mean except for the being in jail part," Todd answered, trying to sound casual.
"Boomer, just a few seconds ago you were si . . ."
Viki cut Sam off before he could continue, she knew that to confront Todd with what they had seen would not be a good thing. Not here and now, while he was still in jail.
"Todd," Viki began, "You look tired, I know you haven't slept or eaten for some time now. Why don't you try to get some rest and I'll see about getting you some food."
"Okay, thanks Sis," Todd said, flooded with relief that she didn't expect him to answer anymore questions. Todd laid down on the bunk and closed his eyes. Viki motioned for Sam to leave the cell with her.
"We'll be back a little later, okay pal?" Sam asked, lightly touching Todd's shoulder. Todd nodded and turned on his side, facing the wall.
Téa composed herself. She realized she would be of no use to Todd or to herself if she lost it. She was about to head back towards the cell when she saw Viki and Sam coming out of it. "Viki, my God! What is happening to Todd? What's wrong with him? He didn't seem to know you or Sam? Why was he acting like a child? Why are you and Sam leaving?" Poor Tea, Viki thought, How am I going to tell you what I suspect? How am I going to tell you what's wrong with your husband? "Tea, I know this is all very upsetting and frightening. I will explain what I think is wrong with Todd." Viki could see that Sam was as anxious as Tea to hear her explanation.
As the threesome came back upstairs Bo confronted them. "Is Todd all right? What's going on here?"
"He's asleep. He's okay for now. Bo, is there someplace Sam and Tea and I can go to talk?"
Bo pointed to an unoccupied office, and called after them, "I'm gonna need some answers."
"As you probably know," Viki began, "I was treated for DID several years ago."
"DID?" Sam interrupted.
"Dissociative Identity Disorder, multiple personalities."
Both Téa and Sam had heard about this but neither knew any of the details. Sam interrupted Viki before she could continue.
"Are you saying that's what's wrong with Todd, that he has multiple personalities?"
"Viki, is that what you're saying?" Téa asked.
"I can't really be sure at this point, but I would say yes, Todd is displaying signs of it."
It took Sam and Téa a full minute to absorb what they had just heard.
"So, let me get this straight," Sam said, looking intently at Viki, "That child we just saw Todd turn into in there is another personality? It isn't just Todd reacting to the stress of the situation?"
"Actually, it's both," Viki continued, "It is under stressful situations that alters come out."
"Alters?" Tea asked.
"Alters are what the other personalities are called, most of them represent different stages in the host's life and times when various traumas happened to him or her." "
Core personality?" Sam asked.
"Yes, Todd would be the host personality, the little boy who calls himself Timmy is an alter."
Viki realized that what she was saying was too much for Sam and Tea to be taking in all at once, but she knew she had to impress upon them the urgency of getting Todd medical attention.
"Sam, you have to speak to Bo, you have to get him to release Todd, either to a hospital or to a therapist. I will take full legal responsibility for him if necessary. He can come and live with me."
Sam thought about it for a minute and then nodded his head yes, and went to talk to Bo.
Téa, still trying to comprehend what Viki had just told her about her husband sat silently. As hard as this was to believe it would explain so much about Todd, why he seemed so moody, as Téa had always thought of him. Why just when she thought she had him figured out, he would act or react in a way she would never expect and why he was able to show love so easily to his daughter but not to Téa. Why at times, watching him play with Starr was like watching two small children play together.
Then Téa thought about the violent side of Todd. Could it be possible that all the horrible things Todd had done was not really Todd at all but an alter, as Viki had called them. Could it be possible that the very things that had made Téa want to leave Todd forever were not even done by Todd, but by another personality?
Viki could see that Téa's head was spinning and wanted to comfort her sister-in-law.
"Téa, if I am right about Todd, he is going to need you more than ever. He is going to need all of us. This isn't something that just goes away like the flu. Todd may need to be in therapy for years." Viki honestly informed Tea.
"I know," Téa said, nodding her head. "I know Todd's father was cold and abusive emotionally, and to some extent physically. Are you thinking that is what caused Todd to have this condition or do you think it was the stress of everything that had happened since Georgie died?"
"I'm sure what happened with Georgie contributed to Todd's stress, but it would not have caused DID. If this is indeed what Todd has, it would have begun long ago, when Todd was just a child. The fact that Timmy is only four years old supports my theory. You see, Téa, when a young child is exposed to stresses they can't handle, I mean extreme stress, sometimes they need to escape the situation. In many cases, literally escaping is not a possibility, so they escape in the only way they can. They escape inside themselves. For a certain time period the person, becomes someone else, someone who can handle the situation they are in better than they can. It becomes the only way they can survive." Viki explained.
Téa was feeling very anxious. She was so afraid for Todd.
"Viki, I'm not trying to pry, but is that what happened to you?" Tea inquired quietly.
"Yes, I was abused by my father, not physically, but sexually, from the time I was seven years old." Viki answered in a shaky, but strong voice.
"Oh, God Viki, I'm so sorry," Tea voice trembled, as tears formed in her eyes. Then, after thinking for a minute, a horrible thought occurred to her. "Do you think that's what happened to Todd? Do you think he was sexually abused?"
"I have no way of really knowing, but given what I know about Todd's behavior and given tonight's circumstances, I would suspect that, yes, I would suspect Todd was sexually abused," Viki admitted her suspicions.
Tea remembered back to the night that she came on strong to Todd and he totally freaked out and threw her out of the penthouse, naked, and into the snow. For the first time Tea thought about that night without some residual anger. My poor Todd, was all she thought.
TO BE CONTINUED
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