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"OOOOH! IT HURTS. DON'T TOUCH ME!" Jimmy shrieked. He backed away from Kevin.

Kevin realized this was no longer Timmy's voice. "Okay, take it easy. I won't come near you," Kevin promised and backed away.

Frank, Terry and Jeff rushed into the room when they heard Jimmy scream.

"NOOOOO! DON'T TOUCH ME! PLEASE! IT HURTS! DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"Jimmy," Susannah spoke calmly and slowly. "You need to calm down and stay safe. No one is going to touch you if you stay safe and don't hurt yourself. No one here wants to hurt you and I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"IT HURTS SO MUCH. IT NEVER STOPS. I WANT TO MAKE IT STOOOOP!" Jimmy continued to shriek. He backed himself away from where everyone stood.

"Jimmy, I know it hurts. We can make it stop. You don't have to hurt yourself to show us how much pain you're in. You don't have to hurt yourself to make it stop hurting. We can help you. I want you to try to calm down. Tell me what's hurting you." Susannah tried to get him to articulate his pain and not act out.

"Mama fell down. Mama fell down and died. I killed Mama. I KILLED MAMA! I want to be with her. I want to tell her not to be mad at me. I WANT TO BE WITH MAMA!" Jimmy screamed and headed for the window in back of him. He threw the force of his whole body against the unbreakable glass. He managed to pound his head into it twice before Kevin and the staff grabbed him.

Kevin was surprised at how difficult it was to pull Todd's weakened body away from the window. Jimmy's grief and desire to get out the window pumped his body full of adrenaline and gave him the strength Todd's body lacked.

Sam, Téa, Viki and Bo heard the commotion and came running to Todd's room. They had managed to pull Jimmy away from the window by the time they all got there.

Jimmy was screaming and wailing in pain. "NO DON'T! OOOOH IT HURTS. NOOOO! DON'T TOUCH ME IT HURTS! PLEASE! OOOOH! PLEASE JUST LET ME DIE! I DON'T WANT TO BE ALIVE ANYMORE. PLEASE! LET ME BE WITH MAMA. I WANT HER TO FORGIVE ME! I WANT TO BE WITH MAMAAAA."

"Jimmy, we will let you go if you calm down. I promise no one will hurt you. We are giving you a one more chance to calm down. If you can't, we will have to hold you and give you some medication to help you calm down." Susannah gave him this opportunity to de-escalate.

"LET GO! I HAVE TO DIE! IT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN SEE MY MAMA! I KILLED MY MAMA! I HAVE TO TELL HER I'M SORRY! SHE FELL DOWN! I DIDN'T HELP HER! LET GO! MAMA! MAMA!" Jimmy was still fighting with all his might. He was beyond hearing them and beyond being able to calm on his own.

They continued their hold on Jimmy. Susannah asked everyone to stay out of the room for now. Terry had gotten a sedative Susannah ordered. She quickly injected it into the hep lock still in Todd's arm.

The effect was instantaneous. Jimmy started to calm down. They moved him to the bed. His body was completely limp.

Jimmy was moaning softly. "Do you want him restrained?" Terry asked.

Susannah checked him. "No, he's almost out. I don't want to traumatize him further."

Jimmy's breathing slowed and he was quietly calling out to his mother. "Jimmy, I'm sorry we had to touch you. We needed to keep you safe. No one will touch you now. I want you to try and sleep," Susannah spoke soothingly to him.

"I killed Mama," he whispered weakly, as tears trickled down his cheeks.

"No Jimmy, you didn't kill Mama. Mama died because her liver was sick. You didn't kill her. Shhhh, it's time to sleep. Close your eyes now and try to sleep." Susannah's voice was soft and comforting.

Finally, Jimmy's eyes closed. Susannah waited to make sure he was asleep. She then had Terry take his vital signs while she checked his hands. They were bruised from his banging them against the window. His forehead was also slightly bruised.

"Do you want me to call x-ray?" Terry asked.

"No, there's no swelling. Nothing seems to be broken. There's no nausea and his pupils are equal and reactive. Let's just let him sleep. I don't want to have to give him any additional medication if I don't have to."

Kevin had gone into the lounge with the rest of them when Susannah asked them to leave the room. Kevin was pacing nervously.

Viki stepped in front of him. "Honey stop! Why don't you come sit down with the rest of us?"

"Mom! I did something to Timmy. I hurt him in some way. I don't know what I did. I don't know what happened. One minute Timmy was showing me a picture he drew and the next thing I know this other alter came out, Jimmy, Susannah called him and he was screaming in terror for me not to touch him. He was screaming that his mama died because of him and that it hurt to be touched. I don't know what I did! I don't know what set him off?" They could see that Kevin was distraught. He blamed himself. He thought he had somehow hurt Timmy.

Viki was about to comfort her son when Sam stepped over to Kevin. He put his arm around Kevin's shoulder and said, "Kevin, you didn't do anything wrong. This just happens sometimes. Something triggers a memory or an emotion and Todd switches. It has happened when he was with me and with your mother and even with Susannah. It isn't anything you did."

Viki knew that coming from Sam, this assurance would mean more than coming from her. Kevin knew that Sam would be the first to tell him if he had done something to hurt Todd.

Susannah came out or Todd's room and headed for them. "Jeff is with him. Jimmy's asleep. He didn't injure himself too badly. He just has a few bruises on his hands and forehead. Todd's body is too weak for him to have used as much force as he used to. It wore him out. Between that and the medication he should be asleep for the night."

Susannah turned to Kevin and asked, "Are you all right?"

"Kevin is blaming himself," Viki spoke up, knowing Kevin wouldn't say anything.

Susannah told him almost exactly what Sam told him. She then explained to him, "It was probably seeing the picture fall. Todd's mother tried to see him the day before she died. Todd's father refused. He was verbally abusive to her and then threw her out of the house and caused her to fall. Jimmy came out and saw this. He has blamed himself ever since."

Kevin, who knew nothing about this, was left with a shocked look on his face. "Todd once said the last time he saw his mother was when he was ten but didn't she die when he was fourteen?" Kevin stated with a puzzled look on his face.

"Todd doesn't remember any of it. He went inside and Jimmy came out," Susannah informed him.

Bo shook his head and said nothing. He could not imagine how a child could have lived through the kind of life Todd had.

Téa's head was throbbing. Even though she knew about Jimmy and about Todd's mother, she was still horrified by what she had seen tonight. It seemed there was no end to Todd's suffering.

"Bo," Téa asked. "Would you mind taking me home? My head is throbbing and I don't think I should be driving."

Téa turned to Viki and requested, "Give him a kiss for me, okay?"

Viki kissed Téa on the cheek and nodded.

"Kevin do you need a lift?" Bo offered.

"No, thanks. I have my car and I want to stick around for a few minutes."

Bo and Téa headed for the doors and waited to be let out. Kevin turned to Susannah and asked, "Are you still planning to put the tube in at ten tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'm not sure if Timmy will be out," Susannah replied.

Kevin gave Susannah his cell phone number. Before he left he checked with Susannah once more. "If Timmy is out you call me, okay?"

"I will. Thank you Kevin."

"Yeah," Kevin said sadly. He turned to Viki. "Mom, I never realized how hard this has to be for you. I mean to see him like that." Kevin kissed Viki on the cheek. He patted Sam's shoulder and said, "Take care of her."

"You got it," Sam replied.

Kevin left. Susannah went back in to Todd's room. She checked Jimmy again. He was in a deep sleep. She headed back to Viki and Sam. "Most likely he'll be out for the night. Why don't you and Sam go get some rest and then some dinner? I'll be here for a few more hours and Jeff will be sitting with him until the evening shift comes in."

Sam and Viki exchanged looks. Viki nodded in agreement. "All right, but no further than the cafeteria and I want to stay with him tonight," Viki said firmly. Sam and Susannah knew better than to argue with her.

Susannah's prediction was correct. Todd's body stayed asleep for the night. Both Sam and Viki ended up staying the night. Not only because Jimmy had come out but because Timmy was going to have the endoscopy and the feeding tube was going to put back in.

It was Timmy who woke up a little before seven. He was still a little groggy so Sam, who was sitting with him while Viki had run home to shower and change, told him he had to stay in bed a little longer.

"Where's Kevin?" Timmy asked in a confused tone.

"Well I guess Kevin is home now, pal," Sam answered.

"He was just here. Where's Mr. Panda?"

Sam realized that Timmy had gone away so suddenly yesterday that he didn't realize what had happened. He thought it was the same moment.

"Timmy that was yesterday. Kevin came to see you and then he went home." Sam could see that Timmy was confused and disappointed.

"I can get Mr. Panda for you," Sam offered.

"Can you get Mr. Rabbit to? They're bestest friends."

Sam gave Timmy his toys. He asked Frank to please bring the TV into Todd's room. Sam put one of Timmy's favorite Pooh videotapes on for him. Nancy came in near eight. She explained to Sam that Timmy needed to put on a hospital gown for the procedure so they wouldn't be getting him dressed this morning. They would just be helping him wash.

Timmy was feeling more alert by the time Frank came in so Frank helped him to the bathroom to get cleaned up and into the gown. Timmy asked why he didn't get to wear his regular clothes. Frank knew Susannah wouldn't want him to discuss the procedure with Timmy at this point, so he said, "I thought you'd be comfortable in this."

Timmy seemed to accept that and shrugged, "Okay."

Timmy was n.p.o. so he wasn't allowed anything by mouth. No breakfast was brought to him and Sam and Viki had been told not to give him anything to drink.

Viki came in while Timmy was getting washed. She was relived that it was Timmy and not Jimmy who woke up.

Susannah came in at eight-thirty. She examined Timmy, playing the stethoscope game with him and his two stuffed friends. She then went to the nurses station and called Kevin. She told him, that as of now, Timmy was out and that the procedure was still scheduled for ten. Kevin said he would be there soon. Susannah told Viki and Sam that Kevin was on his was on his way.

Timmy was playing Chutes and Ladders with Sam when Kevin arrived. "KEVIN!" Timmy shouted with delight and reached up for a hug.

Kevin hugged Timmy. He then patted him on the back and asked, "How's my bestest buddy today?"

"Okay, do you want to play with us?"

Kevin played Chutes and Ladders with Timmy and Sam until Timmy became bored with it. Timmy took Kevin's hand and brought him over to the bed where Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda where. He told Kevin that they were now the bestest friends too.

"I have a new puzzle that Téa got me." Timmy took Kevin by the hand again and took him to the shelf where the puzzle was. He got the puzzle and then, still holding onto Kevin's hand, he walked him over to the spot oh the floor he wanted to sit down to do the puzzle on. Kevin and Timmy both sat down and began the puzzle.

"Do you know Téa?" Timmy asked Kevin.

"I sure do know Téa," Kevin answered.

"She's nice and she's pretty. She has toys that live with her grandma and she's gonna give me one. Do you have a grandma?" Timmy inquired.

"I don't have an actual grandma but a very nice woman named Renee is like my grandma. Do you know Renee?" Kevin asked.

Timmy shook his head and patiently explained, "I don't have a grandma. I have two grandpas. Grandpa Tom is my mommy's daddy and Grandpa Ed is my daddy's daddy. Then Timmy whispered. "I think daddy is 'fraid of Grandpa Ed. I never seen daddy 'fraid of no one before."

Sam, Viki and Susannah looked at each other. This was the first mention of any grandparents.

Kevin didn't know if he should continue to encourage Timmy to talk about this. He didn't want a repeat of what happened yesterday. He looked toward Susannah. She motioned for him to continue.

Timmy started to tremble. Kevin put his arm around Timmy's shoulder. "What is it, buddy? What's the matter?"

"Daddy gets real mad after Grandpa Ed leaves. I don't like it when Grandpa Ed comes."

"Does Grandpa Ed come to your house a lot?" Kevin pressed.

Timmy shook his head, and replied, "Grandpa Ed lives far away. I forgot where but it's real warm and they have dolphins that jump in the air. Daddy has to call grandpa Sir. I get to call him grandpa. Mommy calls him Ed. I don't like to play with grandpa. Mommy don't like him either. Daddy's meaner to her before grandpa comes and after he goes home."

Suddenly Timmy put his head on Kevin's shoulder and held on to him. "I'm scared when Daddy gets extra mean," Timmy whispered.

"Timmy," Kevin began. He rubbed Timmy's back. "I told you I would never let anyone hurt my bestest friend in the whole world and that includes your daddy. Hey buddy, you have all of us here to protect you."

This calmed Timmy down. He and Kevin continued playing with the puzzle.

Susannah looked at her watch. She saw that it almost time for Timmy to be taken downstairs. She knew that what Timmy had just told Kevin was very important. Grandpa was probably a link in the chain of abuse. She would have to question them all about him.

"Timmy," Susannah said kneeling down and putting her arm around his shoulders, "Do you remember that when you first woke up, after being sick, you had a tube in your nose and I explained was so that you could get food into your tummy?"

Timmy shrugged, not really remembering.

Susannah knew he had probably been too sick then to remember much about it. "Well sweetie you did, and it didn't hurt at all. You didn't even feel it. Timmy, we're going to have to put the tube back in so that . . ."

"Nooooo!" Timmy cried out. He grabbed on to Kevin.

"Sweetie," Susannah spoke tenderly as she rubbed Timmy's back, "I promise it won't hurt. You won't feel a thing. You'll be fast asleep."

"Nooooo, I don't wanna," Timmy cried. His face was pressed against Kevin's chest.

"Hey buddy," Kevin lifted Timmy's tearstained face up by the chin. "Do you think I would let them hurt my bestest friend. I spoke to Doctor Hanen and she promised me it won't hurt you at all. In fact it will be an adventure."

"What's a venture?" Timmy asked tearfully.

"That means you get to do something you never got to do before. Did you ever get to go downstairs on a gurney?"

"I don't think so," Timmy replied. He was starting to calm down.

"It's like a riiiide!" Kevin explained. He opened his eyes wide trying to make it sound exciting for Timmy. Kevin continued. "And then you get to ride in the elevator and get to see a whole new part of the hospital that you never saw before."

It did sound appealing to Timmy until he thought of something. "Will I be all alone?" Timmy's chin quivered.

"No way buddy! I'll be with you and Sam and Viki and Doctor Hanen will all be with you."

"Can Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda come too?"

Kevin looked up at Susannah. She nodded.

"Sure they can come," Kevin agreed.

"Do I have to?" Timmy whimpered. He put his head back on Kevin's shoulder. He was still afraid.

"Yeah Timmy, you do. You want to get big and strong don't you?"

Timmy nodded.

Well, Todd's body needs lots of food for that to happen and the food will go into tube. So even when your tummy feels too bad to eat the food will still be able to get in," Kevin explained. He stroked Timmy's head while he spoke.

There were all so grateful that Kevin seemed to be such a calming influence on Timmy.

Timmy turned to Susannah and asked, "Am I going to have to get a shot?"

"The medicine will go into the hep lock in your arm. You won't have to get stuck. Timmy, I promise it won't hurt. You'll be asleep sweetie."

"What if I can't fall asleep? Then it'll hurt?"

"We're going to help you go to sleep. Timmy, I promise you'll be asleep. Now I want you to come climb into your bed because Terry is going to come in and connect the hep lock to an IV. That doesn't hurt. You won't get stuck," Susannah assured him.

Timmy looked up at Kevin.

"It's okay, Timmy. Come on." Kevin held out his hand. Timmy took it and Kevin walked him to the bed. "You know what? Kevin began. "I met a chicken on the way over here and he told me some brand new chicken jokes. Do you want to hear them?"

Timmy nodded eagerly.

"You get into bed and we'll get to those chicken jokes," Kevin instructed and made some chicken sounds.

Timmy convulsed into giggles. For the moment he forgot his fears.

Kevin's jokes kept Timmy distracted while Terry set up the IV. When they came to take Timmy down, he became frightened all over again.

"Come on pal," Sam coaxed when Timmy tried to get out of the bed. "I thought you told Kevin you promised to take Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda for a ride on the gurney."

Timmy held on to Sam and whimpered, "I'm scared."

"Well," Kevin teased, "I guess if Timmy doesn't want to go, then I'll just have to go exploring the other parts of the hospital myself."

"No Kevin!" Timmy called and reaching out for Kevin. "I wanna go with you."

"Okay then. Come on. Let's get you up on here and off we go."

Kevin kept Timmy calm and interested in what he was seeing all the way down to the scoping room.

Susannah had explained to the gastroenterologist and the anesthesiologist that, in all likelihood, they would be dealing with a child and that at least one family member would have to accompany him in for the procedure.

Viki, Sam and Susannah decided that if it were Timmy who was out it would be best if Kevin went in with him. "Baby, we'll be right out here waiting for you when you wake up," Viki promised him. She kissed his forehead.

"Kevin and Doctor Hanen will go in with you, okay pal?" Sam asked as he stroked Timmy's head.

"Can't you and Viki come too?" Timmy chin was starting to quiver again as he asked them that. He was becoming frightened again.

"Sweetie, it's a small room. There's not enough room for everyone," Susannah explained.

"But Kevin can come for sure?"

"Absolutely sure," Susannah answered.

"I'm real cold" Timmy complained. His teeth were starting to chatter as they placed him on the table.

Susannah knew his body was used to the warm temperature in his room. "You'll warm up soon, sweetie." Susannah promised as she stroked his cheek.

"Hi Timmy. My name is Doctor Lee," the anesthesiologist introduced herself. "I'm going to be putting some medicine into your IV that's going to make you start to feel sleepy, and . . . "

"KEVIN!" Timmy cried out. He sat up and held on to Kevin, "I don't want any medicine! I changed my mind. I want to go back to my room. I don't like it here. I'm scared!"

"I know you are, Timmy." Kevin acknowledged Timmy's fear as he gently laid him back down on the table.

"Noooo! I wanna stay with you," Timmy whimpered and struggled to get back up."

"I'm right here Timmy. I'm staying right here with you."

"No! If I go to sleep you'll to away and then it will hurt."

"Noooo. No, I promise. I'll be here with you the whole time you're sleeping and I'll be here when you wake up."

"You really promise?"

Kevin lifted Timmy's hand and asked, "Do you know what a pinkie promise is?"

Timmy shook his head.

Kevin intertwined his pinkie with Timmy's and tenderly explained to him, "These are special promises and can't be broken. Best friends can never go back on a pinkie promise and I promise to stay with you the whole time you're asleep and to be here when you wake up. I promise not to let anyone hurt you."

Timmy started to relax a little. He handed Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda to Kevin and asked, "Will you hold them so they won't be scared?"

Taking them Kevin promised, "You bet I will." Kevin held one up to each of his ears. "What's that? Oh okay. I'll tell him. Timmy, they want me to tell you that they are very proud of you and they love you very much." Once again Kevin placed them next to his ears again and pretended to listen. "Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Panda said they'll be waiting right here for you with me."

Timmy was able to manage a small smile. He was considerably calmer. They hooked him up to a cardiac monitor and put a blood pressure cuff on him. They explained what they were going to do with each and every step.

"Timmy, I'm going to give you some sleep medicine now. I want you to start taking some deep breaths through your mouth," Doctor Lee instructed.

"I don't like medicine." Timmy started to cry and become frightened again. He rolled onto his side and put his index and middle finger in his mouth.

"Timmy, I need you to lie on your back and take some deep breaths. Come on now, let's get you turned over," Doctor Lee spoke very gently to him. Still Timmy was afraid. He pulled his shoulder away from her touch.

"Hey buddy," Kevin spoke soothingly as he slowly turned Timmy on his back. "I'll bet I can take a deeper breath than you can? Let's find out."

Kevin waited until he saw Doctor Lee inject the medication into Timmy's IV and then he took a deep breath. Timmy copied him. After three breaths Timmy's eyes became glassy and unfocused. After five, they shut and Timmy was asleep. Doctor Lee checked his eyes and checked the monitors. They then rolled him onto his left side and they were about to begin.

When told it was best if he waited outside Kevin refused. "I promised him I would stay here with him and I won't go back on my word."

Susannah told them she would take responsibility for Kevin being there. She did tell Kevin that they would have to wait on the other side of the room, so as to not be in the way.

The procedure went smoothly except for a minute when Timmy's blood pressure started to drop. The problem was quickly corrected, nonetheless, Kevin's heart stood still. He realized his feelings for Timmy were growing. For some strange reason all the paternal feelings he had kept bottled up all these years were being released by this young alter. Kevin knew in his heart that he would do anything to protect and help this child.

"Everything looks normal so far. No obstructions, no lesions, no ulcerations," Doctor Haber, the gastroenterologist, called over to Susannah. Then he said, "Nope nothing. I'm going to remove the scope and put in the NG tube."

CONTINUED INPART B

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