After Sam and Viki left, Téa took out a picture of Todd and Starr that she kept in her wallet, and stared at it. "Oh God, Todd how did it come to this?" She thought out loud. Then Téa remembered back to when she first met Todd. She remembered the confidence he'd had in her when he hired her to defend Alex. She thought back to the custody trial. Todd had trusted her to save the most precious thing in his life, Starr.

Téa missed Starr. She loved that little girl as if she were her own. Now, like Todd, Starr was no longer a part of her life, but she was and always would be a part of her heart.

Téa smiled, as she remembered the one, almost normal, time she and Todd had had together. It was the day they discovered the name of Todd's parrot was Moose. She remembered that day. She had been in so much pain after Blair had pushed her through that window. She never thought she'd laugh again. Then she and Todd had one of the best times of their marriage laughing over that bird. Oh Moose, she thought to herself, Is that why you flew away as suddenly as you appeared? Did you know how things would turn out for Todd? Maybe you didn't want to be around to see it either.

Téa then thought back to the time she and Todd went to the Bayberry Inn. Todd had tried so hard. Téa smiled, as she thought about Todd wearing that Santa hat. She realized now how she must have made him feel about himself. She remembered how many times he tried to tell her he just couldn't give her what she needed. The tears streaked down Téa's face as she remembered the night she thought she had lost Todd forever as he swam in murky waters of the river to retrieve the necklace her mother had given her after she accidentally dropped it in the water. Todd had been so proud as he held it up for her and so gentle when he it placed it back around her neck.

All Téa had to do was think of these moments and all the feelings that she had managed to squelch these past couple of months came rushing back so furiously that it almost took her breath away.

Téa was not blind to the dark, violent side of Todd. She did not forget the bad moments and knew she would never allow herself to be treated like that again. She also remembered the good and sweet parts of him. The kindness he tried to hide the sparks of humanity in him that caused him embarrassment. Todd hated to even think of himself as a human being. Téa knew that she loved and needed Todd. He was a part of her and would be forever. Todd was welded to her heart, mind and soul. Nothing could permanently separate them, not time, not his illness, maybe not even death. If there was a god, Téa believed he meant for Todd to become a part of her life and for her to become a part of his. She believed they were both left lost and floundering in this world so that they could find each other.

How had it come to this? Téa wondered. How could Todd have been so ill and still function? How could I have missed it?

Téa thought about everything that Sam and Viki had told her about Michelle. Téa remembered how Todd had thrown her out of the cabana that June night this whole thing had started.

June! Téa thought. Five months ago! Todd was still Todd that night. Now?

"Oh my God, Todd!" Téa said, out loud as she thought about what Sam had said. "An infant? Blind? Maybe we should have just let you be. Oh Todd, what have we done to you?"

Viki and Sam returned to the hospital to visit with the Baby. Viki was the first to notice that he didn't seem as happy or as playful as usual. He was listless, cranky and quiet. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Is something bothering you?" Viki said to the Baby. She bent down and kissed his forehead. Viki noticed he felt warm.

Viki asked Dave to call in Marcia. "Did the Baby have a fever this morning?"

"No, his temp was normal this morning, why?" Marcia asked Viki in a concerned manner.

"He feels warm now," Viki replied. She felt his head again.

Marcia felt his head and went to get the thermometer. "A hundred and one point four," Marcia confirmed, with a worried expression on her face. "I'll get Susannah," she added.

Viki watched Susannah's face as she examined the Baby. She noticed Susannah's expression turn to one of concern when she listened to his lungs. "Susannah, what is it? What's wrong?" Viki asked fearfully. She took Sam's hand and clasped it tightly.

"His lungs are not clear. I hear rales in both lungs."

"Rales?" Sam asked.

"Yes, it's a crackling sound that can be indicative of pneumonia."

"Pneumonia! My God, how did he get that?" Sam was shocked.

"Todd probably has what is called we call anaerobic pneomonitis or what is more commonly called hypostatic pneumonia. It sometimes occurs when a patient is immobile for long periods of time. The lower areas of the lungs are poorly aerated and collapse due to lack of deep breathing and pressure from nearby tissues and organs and gravity contributes to fluid congestion and capillary pooling. This congestion contributes to infection by promoting the development of bacterial or viral pneumonia."

"I don't understand. He moves around on his own and the physical therapist moves him around. You sit him up. You keep the angle of the bed adjusted to try to prevent this," Viki declared.

"It's not enough and Todd is in a generalized weakened condition. He just doesn't have the resistance to fight off things like this," Susannah responded sadly.

The Baby woke up coughing and started to cry. Viki rushed to him. She felt his forehead. It was already much warmer than it was before. Another temp was done on him. One hundred and two point two. The Baby was quickly becoming a lot sicker.

The Baby was moved to a medical floor. A chest x-ray was ordered and he was started on massive doses of antibiotics. A pulmonary specialist was called in. It was apparent that he was having trouble breathing.

The Baby no longer laughed or reached for objects and did not have the strength to roll over on his own. Sam and Viki had taken turns sitting by his bedside the entire night. Once again Susannah stayed in her office and checked on him throughout the night. Susannah couldn't help but wonder if any of these latest crises would have happened if she had not taken Todd to the lodge.

By morning the Baby's temperature had risen to one hundred and four point eight. His breathing was becoming very labored. Susannah knew he would probably have to be put on a ventilator. Sam and Susannah were sitting in the Baby's room. Sam was filling Susannah in on the meeting he and Viki had with Tea. Viki was standing by the bed, applying a cool cloth to the Baby's head when they heard her scream.

"Susannah!"

The Baby was having a febrile seizure. Susannah quickly turned him on his side and buzzed for assistance. The seizure lasted a little over two minutes, but to Viki and Sam it seemed to go on forever. Todd's face turned red and contorted in a tight grimace, his entire body jerked, as his muscles contracted and relaxed uncontrollably. His temperature had risen to one hundred and five point two.

The medication, cool sponge baths and compresses were not reducing his fever. An anesthesiologist, a respiratory specialist, a cardiologist and a nephrologist were all called in to consult. Todd's heart was weakening and he was going into renal failure.

The few months of not eating and sleeping from the time Todd discovered Georgie's body added to the trauma of the last few months in the hospital and everything Todd had been through had taken it's toll. Todd's young, strong body had deteriorated to the point where the pneumonia was difficult to fight off. It ravaged it's way through him. One by one his organ systems were breaking down. There was no choice. He had to be put on a ventilator. Todd was moved to ICU.

Normally, visiting hours in the ICU were much more restrictive then they were in the regular rooms. However, Larry Wolek arranged for Viki and Sam to have as much access to Todd as they wanted. Larry had never been a big fan of Todd's, but he was greatly distressed to see the condition this young man was in. He understood how grave Todd's condition was and told Susannah that she should prepare Viki in case the worst happened. Susannah knew that he was right, but to hear him say it out loud was more than she could bear. Susannah had not taken Todd this far and put him through this much to lose him.

Viki and Sam stood by Todd's bed and looked down at him. They looked at each other. Each thought the same thing. [You can hardly find Todd under all the equipment that's keeping him alive.

Todd was unconscious. The constant beeps of the heart monitor and the whooshing sound of the ventilator were the only sounds in the room. Todd's hands, feet and legs were swollen with the fluid his failing heart and kidneys could no longer rid his body of. Tubes and IV's seemed to be inserted into every part of his body. His chest rose and fell as machines kept him alive.

"Come on Boomer! You can lick this! You've gotten through worse. Don't quit on us now. Don't quit on yourself! I know I wasn't much of a father to you when you needed me. I swear to you Boomer, if you give me the chance now I'll never let you down again. I'll never let anyone hurt you. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you. You don't have to be afraid. Todd, don't give up! So many people love you. We're waiting for you, for all of you. Boomer don't give up! Don't . . ." Sam's voice trailed off as tears slowly slid down his face.

Viki took Sam in her arms and comforted him. "Sam, Todd is a fighter and so am I. Maybe it's something we both inherited from Father. I will not let Todd give up. I will not lose my brother to Peter Manning."

Viki persuaded Sam to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. She promised she would do the same after he returned. Now, alone with Todd, Viki looked at him. She was determined to keep the promise she had just made to Sam and to herself. She would not let her brother die.

"Todd," Viki called to him softly. She took his puffy hand, carefully, into hers, as not to disturb the IV that was running into it. "They tell me that you can't hear me, but I think you can. I think there is a part of you that knows I'm here and can feel me holding your hand."

Viki thought about all of them. Sweet, frightened little Timmy, who responded to Viki's touch like a purring kitten. Timmy . . . who liked to draw and eat chocolate pudding that mommy made especially for him. Timmy, who could once again find comfort in a stuffed animal and not be afraid he would be punished for holding it. The little four-year-old who was constantly looking for his mommy and confusing Viki, Susannah and female staff members with her because of his desperate need to be with her. Tom . . . funny, playful, sad and confused. Tom, with one foot in today and the other back in the house of horrors he grew up in, in Chicago. Tom, who liked pizza and chocolate milk and comic books and his beloved video games. Tom, who wanted nothing more, than for "Coach" to really be his father.

Viki's thoughts then went to Miss Perkins. Miss Perkins . . . stern but kind, never giving a thought to her own needs. She lived her life to try to keep "her boys" safe. She tried to keep everyone together in what she knew to be an impossible situation.

Viki never really got to know Rodd that well. What she did know of him she liked. Rodd . . . gentle, sensitive, generous to a fault. Rodd, who cherished and appreciated what little time he had to himself.

Then she thought of little Andy. Viki had only met him that one time, but he left quite an impression. Andy . . . his funny, mischievous smile, his ability to experience joy, despite the torture he'd been through. I remember my promise to you Andy, Viki thought, when you're well, you can live with me forever! Did Andy run away because Peter had tried to kill him?

Her thoughts next turned to Jimmy. Poor tragic Jimmy . . . who believed he was responsible for his mother's death. Jimmy, who lived in constant pain. Jimmy, who never knew the comfort of human touch. The boy so tortured that he believed the only way out of his pain or to be reunited with his beloved mother was to die.

Pete came to Viki's mind. Pete . . . angry, violent, consumed with rage. Pete, who hated the very person he is patterning his life after. Pete, who was afraid to feel anything but hate and rage. The fourteen-year-old who lashed out at the world and only ended up hurting himself the most. Pete, who claims nothing can hurt him and who doesn't feel pain. The boy who could stand up to Peter Manning.

Then there was the other Todd . . . the boy who endured the hellish night Michelle was killed. The child who hid for almost fifteen years before he was forced out of his safe hiding place.

The Baby . . . happy and joyful. He was innocent to the horrors that life would have in store for him. Was he the child Todd would have been if their father had not forced Irene to give him to the Mannings?

Viki wondered how many others were living in her brother's frail body? Tears spilled down Viki's cheeks as she thought of Todd himself. Todd . . . brilliant and gifted. Good and kind, yet believing he was stupid and bad. Todd, who was strong and determined to survive. Yet the terror and panic he constantly felt convinced him he was weak. It convinced him he was as much of a loser as Peter always told him he was. Todd, who had never known a happy day or a moment's peace, kept the world away from him so he couldn't be hurt by it. A young man who could not believe or trust in anyone because he had his trust and belief stolen from him when he was still a baby.

Todd would test those who claimed to love him over and over again. He would lash out at everyone before they had a chance to lash out at him. Todd was the boy who grew up to push everyone away from him before they had a chance to reject and abandon him. Todd, who loved so strongly and yet could not feel love when it was returned to him. Who, in fact, tried not to feel at all. But despite Todd's best efforts he felt everything and he felt it intensely. Viki's heart filled with love for her baby brother who had used his brilliance to create this safe haven for himself.

Viki thought about all of them. Then, still holding Todd's hand, she declared firmly, "Todd, you won't leave me! We are more a part of each other than if I had given birth to you. You are my heart. We lost so many years together. I will not give up any more! Todd, I know you can hear me. I know all of you can hear me. I know you can feel my touch and know how much I love you. You will get through this, Todd! You will not leave me to live in a world you are no longer in. I know you love me and I know you love Sam and Starr and Tea. You won't leave us! You have fought to survive your entire life. No one has had to fight harder to just exist. You won't stop fighting now. I won't let you! I know how much pain you're in and how easy it would be to just let go. Maybe it's selfish of me? Maybe the kinder thing would be to let you go. I can't! I need you. I need your love and your humor and your sarcasm. Sometimes I need to be able to see the world through your eyes.

Viki took a deep breath. She looked to see if there was any response from him. There wasn't. "Todd, do you know about Sam and me? Do you realize how close we've become? We want to be the family for you that you've never had. You do realize that we think of you as our child? Do you know how much Sam wants to be a father to you, how proud he is of you? Sam has never forgiven himself for not helping you get away from your father. Todd, you have to give him a chance to make it up to you.

Viki stroked his head. "Baby, do you have any idea how much Tea still loves you? Tea would sacrifice anything to be able to have a life with you. You can give her that, you know. If you hang in there and continue to fight you can give Tea the one thing she wants more than anything in the world.

Viki's voice broke as she continued. "Oh Todd, what about Starr? What about your little girl? You fought so hard for her. First to be able to keep her, then to save her life. Do you want her to have to grow up without her daddy? Do you want to be nothing more than a memory and a picture to her? Do you want to leave her in this world without you to protect her? Todd, do you know that she never stops asking when her daddy will be coming home? Do you know that she has been saving pictures she draws for you? Blair says she has a whole box full. She calls it her 'Daddy Box.' She is waiting for you Todd, waiting for you to come home and hold her and make her feel special. I know you don't believe you are worth loving, but you're so wrong Todd. You are! You are worth it more than anyone I ever known."

Viki bent over and kissed Todd's burning hot forehead and begged, "Todd please! Give us a chance to help you! Let Sam and I be the parents you need. Let us take care of you. Don't leave us!"

Sam had come back in the room just as Viki said this. He walked over to her and put his left arm around her shoulder, and stroked Todd's hair with his right hand and said, "Todd, listen to her, pal. You've got a shot at a whole family here. A mother and a father who love you. A safe place to come home to. A child and a wife who loves you. Don't give up now Boomer. Feel us here. We're fighting for you. Just grab on to us. We'll fight for you."

Suddenly, as Sam was pleading with Todd to live, Todd started having another seizure and an alarm went off. Within seconds Todd's bed was surrounded with medical personal. "WHAT'S HAPPENING! MY GOD! WHAT'S HAPPENING!" Viki shouted.

"Call a code!" one of the nurses yelled to another.

"You both have to leave now," another nurse said as she pushed Sam and Viki aside.

"NO! I'm not leaving him!" Viki cried.

"Code blue, code blue, ICU three. Code blue, ICU three," Viki heard over the hospital PA.

"Please, you two have to leave, NOW!" One of the doctors ordered.

Viki felt Sam gently pulling her towards the door. "No, Sam! We can't leave him all alone with strangers. You know how frightened he is of strangers," Viki wept, as tears rushed down her cheeks.

As Sam pulled Viki out the door, even more doctors and nurses came rushing towards Todd's bed with even more equipment and machines. Hearing a code called for Todd, Susannah came running to his room. As she approached the ICU, she saw Viki and Sam in each other's arms, both were crying. They didn't even see her as she rushed into Todd's room.

Todd was in cardiac arrest. The team worked feverishly over him, trying to shock his heart with a defibrillator. Even more tubes and catheters were being inserted into him. Susannah stood against the wall, to be out of the way. All the training in the world had not prepared her for the emotions that were running through her as she watched Todd dying before her eyes.

Finally, after the fourth attempt with the defibrillator, Susannah heard someone say, "I got a pulse." Todd was still alive, but just barely. Everyone in the room, including Susannah, knew he was holding on by a thread.

"Has his family been spoken with about a DNR?" Doctor Williams, the cardiologist, asked Susannah.

"What?" Susannah asked, feeling like she was in the middle of a nightmare.

"Does his family want him resuscitated no matter what?"

"I don't believe they've been spoken with about that," Susannah answered. Her voice sounded detached and dream-like to her ear.

"Doctor Hanen, you do realize that a DNR, at this point, is probably the kindest option. Todd may have already sustained brain damage."

All the years of Susannah's professional training seemed to be falling by the wayside. She had lost her objectivity. She was as devastated as Sam and Viki would be by what she was hearing.

Susannah started to walk over to the couch Sam and Viki were sitting on in the waiting area outside the ICU. She knew she had to tell them that Todd was not doing well. He was not responding to the antibiotics or to any of the measures being used to save his life. Todd was close to death.

Susannah couldn't do it. Before they had a chance to see her coming toward them, Susannah went into the doctors lounge. It was empty. She stood by the window. Susannah realized the view from this window was the same as the one from her office window. The one Todd had spent so much time staring out at. The tears that trickled down Susannah's face quickly gave way to the huge sobs that escaped her throat and shook her body. Susannah sank down to the floor under the window. Her head met her knees, much like Timmy's little ball position. Susannah wept in a way she had never done before. For the first time, she was trulya ble to understand the grief a parent felt when they were about to lose a child.

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