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Susannah had never experienced the flood of emotions she was now feeling. She had seen other people experience grief so profound that it devastated them to the core of their souls. She had empathized and sympathized with them. Until now she could never have imagined what it truly felt like. Susannah realized she had crossed a line. Todd was no longer just a patient to her. She realized that what she was feeling was a parent's grief. She loved Todd as if he were her child. She could not accept that all the suffering Todd had been through his entire life, all the suffering that she had put him through in her efforts to help him would end like this. Perhaps, it was being able to acknowledge her feelings to herself or the inner strength that had always allowed Susannah to face any challenge that came her way, but suddenly she composed herself. She realized that she had responsibilities, not only to Todd, but also to Viki and Sam as well. Susannah washed her face and headed off to speak with them.

As she approached the waiting area outside the ICU, Susannah could hear Viki shouting. "HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT! MY BROTHER IS ONLY TWENTY-EIGHT! HE HASN'T EVEN STARTED LIVING YET!" Sam was trying to quiet her down. Susannah rushed to them.

"What's going on? Viki?"

"This!" Viki answered and held a piece of paper up for Susannah to see.

Susannah saw that a resident had approached Viki about the DNR order. "They want me to sign a release for them not to resuscitate him if . . . if . . . Susannah! I will not let them give up on Todd. I will not allow them to let him die!" Viki cried out angrily.

"All right Viki, shhhh, calm down. It's all right. No one is forcing you to sign anything." Susannah turned around to the young doctor. "Can you please leave us alone for now? I will speak with the family."

After the doctor walked away, Susannah suggested, "Let's sit down."

"Susannah, just get that away from me!" Viki ordered.

Susannah put the form down on a table across the room and came back to where Viki sat.

Sam looked at her helplessly and asked, "It's really bad, isn't it?"

Susannah nodded and said, "Todd is in extremely critical condition. He's in a coma."

Susannah chose not to mention anything about possible brain damage at this point. She didn't think either Viki or Sam could handle that right now. She also knew that even with that knowledge, Viki would still want everything humanly possible done for Todd. Susannah put her arm around Viki. She gently asked, "Viki, do you want to see Todd now? It would be all right."

Viki looked at Susannah. The look in her eyes turned from one of fear to one of strength and she asked, "Should I call Téa and Blair and ask them if they want to see Todd?"

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea," Susannah answered.

Sam and Viki stood beside Todd's bed. If possible, he looked even more fragile than he had before. His skin was almost translucent. He looked small and emaciated in the tangle of all the tubes that were attached to him. They could not believe he had gotten to this stage so quickly. There were no words left to say to him. Sam and Viki knew that somewhere in there, Todd was struggling, as usual. They only hoped he was still able to try as hard as he could.

Téa had been in the middle of checking out some web sites that locate missing people when Viki called. She felt as if her heart had stopped when Viki told her about Todd's condition. She said she would be there as quickly as she could drive. Sam had called Blair. He could hear Blair start to cry over the phone when he told her that if she wanted to see Todd she should get to the hospital as soon as possible. Blair was on her way. Sam and Viki both knew that Todd would not want either Téa or Blair to see him this way. They also knew that to allow them the opportunity to see Todd, if they chose, was the only decent thing to do and prayed they that Todd would forgive them.

Blair was the first to arrive. Viki had been in contact with her all along, but had not gone into the specific details of Todd's therapy. Blair had no idea it had come to this. Now, Blair stood over the man she considered to be the great love of her life.

Blair had seen Todd close to death before. She remembered the night she found him, nearly stabbed to death, by Powell. Even that could not prepare her for this.

Todd barely resembled the man she knew. He looked so pale and thin and helpless, as he lay perfectly still among the machines that were keeping him alive. She had spoken with Susannah for a few moments before she went in. "Do you think I should bring Starr to see him?" she asked.

"No, I don't think it would be in Starr's best interest to see her father like that and I know Todd would not want Starr to see him this way," Susannah replied.

Even though the ventilator made it difficult, Blair bent down and kissed Todd on the lips. "I'm here, baby. Blair is here. Tears poured down Blair's face. She caressed Todd's cheek and spoke to him softly.

"Todd, all these years later and you are still trying to win the most pathetic contest. Okay, I give up. You are the all time champ. Oh, come on, baby, don't do this. You have a little girl who's waiting for her daddy to come home to her. Todd, not a day goes by when Starr doesn't miss you or ask about you. I know what it's like to grow up without a daddy. Don't do that to Starr. As much as I hate to admit it, you are the best daddy any little girl could have. Don't make our daughter miss knowing that. You have to be there to keep all those boys away when she gets into high school. You have to be there for her."

Blair started to weep. "Oh Todd, and for me too. I never stopped loving you. Oh baby, don't you know that? I know I have acted like I don't care or sometimes like I hated you. You have to know I still love you. No one ever gets over what we had. I'm sorry I acted like I thought you killed Georgie. I never really believed that, not in my heart. Did that make you do what you did? Did you think no one would believe you if I didn't? You know I don't love Max. I have never loved anyone but you. I'm keeping the Sun going for you. Just like I did when you were in Ireland."

Blair paused to wipe away her tears and then continued. "I'm sorry for all the times I tried to keep Starr away from you. And for all the times I let Dorian influence the way I treated you. I was never on your side. I always took up for someone else against you. Todd Manning! Don't you dare die on me and leave me with all these feelings. Don't you dare leave your little girl to face this world without you. Todd, don't you dare!" Blair sobbed, unable to go on.

Blair kissed Todd one more time and left his room. She went over to Viki. They hugged each other without saying a word and Blair headed to the elevator. As the door opened, Téa got off the elevator. Blair looked at her and snidely remarked, "Well, you may finally be rid of Todd. At least you still have his money."

Téa looked at Blair and slapped her across the face. Then, without saying a word, Téa just walked towards a stunned Sam and Viki. Blair hesitated for a moment. She looked as if she were about to say something. When the next elevator came she got on it and left.

"Téa, I'm sorry. Blair is very upset," Viki apologized for Blair.

"I didn't come here to discuss Blair," Téa stated. "I want to see Todd."

Téa had made up her mind on the way over she was not going to allow herself to be cut out of Todd's life anymore. Not by her own feelings about seeing him this way and not by Todd himself. He was still her husband and no matter how difficult it became she was going to stand by him. She only prayed she'd be given the chance.

"Has there been any change since I spoke with you?" Téa asked Viki.

"No, Todd is still in a coma and still in extremely critical condition."

"Can I see him now?" Téa's fingernails cut into the palms of her hands as she waited for Viki's reply. Viki nodded.

As bad as Téa had imagined it, this was worse. She could not keep herself from trembling as she looked at Todd. The sounds of the machines only magnified the horror of the situation. She could not believe that the person lying among all those tubes and wires was Todd. She could not believe how frail he had become.

"Todd it's Te . . . it's Delgado. I'm here. I know you don't want me here but you're just going to have to tell me to leave yourself if you want me to go. Todd, can you feel this?" Téa gently lifted his swollen hand so his fingers could feel the ring she was wearing.

"It's my wedding ring. I never took it off, you know. The whole world knows I'm still Mrs. Todd Manning. It's what I still want. It's what I've always wanted. I want to be your wife. I know I didn't always make it easy for you to trust me. I know I asked for more than you could give. I also know that you tried your best. Todd, I know that now. I know you gave me all you could and that's all anyone can ask. Mi corazon, I've never known you to give up on anything. Getting custody of Starr is proof of that. Don't give up now. Sam and Viki love you so much. They think of you as their son. They've grown to love each other. Do you know that? And, do you know this?"

Téa bent down to him and whispered in his ear. "I love you. I've never stopped and I never will. No matter how long it takes; I'll be waiting for that life you promised me. Todd I won't leave you. Querido, I swear! No matter what you say or do, I won't ever leave you! Todd, please!" Téa took his hand.

"Ay dios mio!" Téa's eyes became wide with shock. She felt Todd squeeze her hand. Thinking it might just be her imagination she tried again. "Todd, if you can hear me squeeze my hand!" She felt him do it again. Téa called the nurse over to Todd's bed and then called Viki and Sam to come into the room. She once again asked Todd to squeeze her hand and he did.

Todd's temperature started to drop. The powerful diuretics, that previously had no effect, started to remove some of the fluid in his body. Gradually, over the next three days his kidneys started to function on their own. He still needed the help of a ventilator; however, he was starting to come out of the coma.

Viki, Sam, Téa, Susannah and Blair all took turns talking to him. They would hold his hand or stroke his hair, always letting him know that someone was there with him. When Viki and Sam were with him, talking to him, he would sometimes squeeze their hands, but had still not opened his eyes.

"Todd. Come on pal. I know you can hear me. You've been asleep long enough. Come on it's time to wake up. Come on Boomer. Open your eyes," Sam would coax, over and over again.

"Sweetheart, please wake up. It's Viki. Baby, please talk to me. It's safe to come back. Everyone is waiting for you to wake up and talk to us. Sweetheart, we miss you. Please Todd, open your eyes!"

Blair would kiss Todd on the lips and tell him all the things Starr was up to. Téa would hold his hand and stroke his hair. She would whisper in his ear and tell him how much she loved him.

They played music for him. They tried to talk to each of the alters and try to get one of them to wake up. Todd eyes still stayed closed. Susannah feared possible brain damage.

On the fifth day after he first squeezed Téa's hand, Todd was taken off the ventilator. Finally, on day six, Todd's eyes fluttered. Viki and Sam were with him. "CALL DOCTOR HANEN!" Sam shouted, to one of the nurses. "I think he's waking up." Sam added, quietly.

"Todd. Todd. That's it, Boomer. Open your eyes. Come on. It's Coach. I'm telling you to open your eyes."

Susannah rushed into Todd's room. "Todd. It's Doctor Hanen," Susannah checked Todd's pupils with a penlight. "Todd! I want you to open your eyes. I know it's hard but I want you to use all your strength now and open up those eyes."

"Todd's hiding," they heard Timmy's voice whisper, slowly. Sam grabbed him in his arms and held him as tightly as Todd's fragile body and the equipment still attached to it would allow. Viki held onto Todd's hand.

Timmy's eyes opened, "My throat hurts," Timmy cried. Sam, carefully and gently, laid him back down so Susannah could look at him.

"Hi, sweetie. " Tears formed in Susannah's eyes, as she leaned over the bed and stroked his cheek.

"My throat hurts a lot," Timmy whispered hoarsely, as tears trickled down his cheeks.

"I know it does sweetie. I'm sorry. It hurts because there was a tube in your throat, but it's gone now and it will get better. I promise."

Timmy looked around. They could see he was becoming frightened. "This isn't my room and this isn't my house." When he saw the equipment and the various IV's that were still attached to him he started to cry for his mother.

Viki gently lifted him to her and clutched him to her chest. She hugged him and rocked him in her arms and whispered to him. "Timmy, Timmy, it's going to be all right. Darling, you're going to be okay now. Shhh, it's all right baby, shhhh."

Timmy slowly calmed down and with the comforting sound of Viki's heartbeat in his ear he fell asleep in her arms. Sam put his arm around Viki. She continued to hold Timmy as he slept. She felt like she never wanted to let go. Susannah smiled at the scene before her. Never a religious person, Susannah said a silent prayer of thanks.

"Whoa! Tom slow down. You almost ran me over," Terry gently chastised and smiled as Tom ran past her in his rush to get to the playroom. "Sorry Terry. Alan came to see me and he said they got some new remote cars in today and I could play with them. Doctor Hanen said it was okay for me to go to the playroom."

No one could believe that just two weeks ago Todd was precariously close to death. Since then Todd's body had rebounded better than anyone had ever expected. He was still not completely well. His heart and renal function were not one hundred percent, and he still had to take diuretics to help them along. But in time, hopefully, he would heal completely.

Since Tom was out most of the time the feeding tube was removed. Tom didn't eat enough to put back too much of the weight Todd lost, but slowly a little was coming back, and at least he ate. Although, even more anemic now then he had been, Todd's face was starting to look a little less pale. "He certainly seems to have gotten most of his energy back," Terry commented happily to Carl as Tom disappeared into the playroom.

Viki, Sam, Susannah, Tea were ecstatic over Todd's recuperation. Unfortunately, Todd's legal problems always preyed on their minds. Sam and Tea had put off going to the police, once again. They knew it was wrong and unethical, but they waited until Todd was out of the woods. Now he was and they knew what had to be done.

Susannah was also concerned because Tom and sometimes Timmy were the only ones who ever came out. Todd had not made an appearance. At times, Susannah thought this best, but she realized that eventually Todd would have to resume his life and the longer he stayed away the harder it would be when he came back. Although, Todd had been moved back to his room on Susannah's floor, he had not had any actual therapy sessions. Susannah did not want to put any stress on his already stressed system. She wanted to give him time to heal.

Tom and Timmy spent their days playing, drawing, watching TV, reading, being read to and being doted on by everyone. They were both still plagued by nightmares, but that was really the only time anything was mentioned about their past.

Blair, who had never formally met Tom, came to visit one day. At first she was put off by this child who spoke about Starr like she was one of his playground playmates. Blair had been shocked to discover that Starr had sometimes been with the alters over the years. However she quickly came to realize that no matter who Todd was, he loved Starr and would never hurt her.

Tom had explained to her that now he didn't have to pretend to be Todd any more. "I'm sorry I lied to you, Blair. Are you mad at me?" He asked innocently.

Smiling at him, and caressing his cheek, Blair assured him, "No hon, I'm not mad at you, not at all."

Tom took her to the art room and proudly showed her a painting of himself, standing with Sam and Viki. He made sure to show her all "his stuff", and pointing out the things that were Timmy's, he said, "Timmy likes baby stuff."

Blair related to him as easily as she did to Starr and this surprised the hell out of her. She was able to separate this sweet, funny child from her ex-husband much more easily than she had ever imagined.

Téa reacted in a similar fashion. Susannah, Viki and Sam all knew that Todd did not want Téa to see him in the hospital. Téa would not allow herself to be kept away from him again. She had been insistent and since Todd wasn't around they relented.

Téa happened to visit on one of the days Timmy was out. Timmy was sitting on his bed, snuggled in Sam's arms as Sam told him a story, when Tea walked in the room. Timmy recognized her as "Tee," that nice lady who stayed with us sometimes. Timmy used to love to listen when Téa read or told Starr stories. He often wanted to come out and cuddle in her arms the way Starr did, but he was afraid to. Todd never realized why he would sometimes want to feel Téa's arms around him when he would watch her with Starr.

Timmy knew he wasn't supposed to let Téa know who he was. Timmy would hear Todd and Téa fight sometimes and he would hold on to Miss Perkins, tightly. She would cover his ears and try to block out the sound. He was afraid Téa would be mad at him if he came out and Timmy desperately wanted her to like him. Tom had once confided in Timmy that he loved Téa and wanted Todd to be really nice to her so she'd never leave them forever.

Téa realized Timmy was the child she saw when Todd was in jail.

"Timmy, this is Téa, do you remember her?" Sam asked. Timmy looked at Téa and buried his head in Sam's shoulder, shyly peeking out at Téa every few seconds.

Téa sat on the bed next to Timmy. "Timmy, I've heard a lot about you," Téa smiled warmly as she said this to him.

"You did?" Timmy finally looked at Téa and asked. His innocent eyes were wide and questioning.

Timmy already tugged at Téa's heart. "Yes, I heard you were a very smart and very good boy. I heard you like to draw and that you like stuffed animals." Timmy just continued to stare at her while he still held on to Sam. "I like stuffed animals too," Téa continued, "When I was your age I had lots of them."

"Did your daddy get mad if you played with them?" Timmy asked.

"No, as a matter of fact, he bought them for me."

"That's cause you're a girl. Daddy says boys shouldn't play with dolls but Viki and Sam and Doctor Hanen say it's okay."

"Well, of course it's okay. Dolls and stuffed animals are nice to play with and cuddle with for boys and girls."

Timmy continued to stare at Téa. "You're pretty. I never got to see you for real before,"

"What do you mean for real?" Téa asked.

"You know. Before, I just got to see you from inside. Stuff looks different from inside. Do you want to see a picture of my mommy?"

Téa reached out and stroked his cheek. "Sure, I would love to," Téa responded. Sam saw the love in Téa's eyes as well as the smile on her lips when she looked at Timmy.

Timmy let go of Sam. He got off the bed and took Téa by the hand and walked her over to a bulletin board that was in his room. He pointed out one of the pictures that was taped to it under his name. "That's my mommy. She's real far away and can't come to see me," Timmy admitted sadly. Téa reached out and stroked his head.

"Timmy, I'm sure your mommy misses you very much. I know if you were my little boy I'd be missing you."

"You would?"

"Very much," Téa answered. Timmy smiled. Timmy didn't understand Tea's relationship to Todd and Starr. He didn't realize she was Starr's stepmother.

Timmy looked at Téa. "Do you have any little kids?"

Téa got a very sad look in her eyes as she answered, "I have a little girl, but right now she lives with her real mommy." Timmy looked a little confused but then he looked as if he figured it out. "I live here sometimes and when I live here, Viki and Doctor Hanen are my mommies. So when your little girl lives with you then you're her mommy."

Tears welled up in Téa's eyes. She hugged Timmy. "Timmy, do you know you are a very smart little boy?" Timmy's big smile made Tea's heart fill up with love for this child.

Timmy showed Téa some of his toys. He was starting to rub his eyes. Sam knew that meant he was getting tired and needed a nap.

"Hey buddy, I think it's time you lay down for a while and got a little shuteye."

"Can you stay with me until I go to sleep?" Timmy asked Téa.

"You bet I can," Téa answered, touched that he would ask.

After Timmy fell asleep Sam walked Téa outside. "That wasn't at all what I had expected it to be like," Téa admitted to Sam.

"What do you mean?" Sam didn't understand. "I have been so afraid of seeing Todd as that child I saw when he was in jail. I think I was more afraid of that then if he had turned into Pete."

"Why?" Sam was confused by her feelings.

"I don't know. I guess I was afraid I couldn't handle him being that way. I thought I'd say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. He was so terrified that day at the jail. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stand it if he didn't recognize me."

"Téa, he was terrified that day. He was in a panic. He didn't recognize anyone. He just wanted his mommy. He still gets that way sometimes, but it happens less frequently. Do you feel better about being around him now?"

"Oh, Sam, he is so sweet and lovable. It's like being with Starr. I can't believe how the feelings I just had in there for Timmy don't interfere with the feelings I have for Todd. I can't believe how easy it is to think of them as separate people. Not just Todd acting like a child."

"That's because that isn't Todd acting like a child. Timmy is a child. I think you sensed that."

"Sam, I'm so sorry I stayed away from Todd as long as I did. I mean, I know Todd wanted me to and probably still does . . . I could have tried harder, Sam. I wasted so much precious time."

Sam hugged Téa and said, "You're here now."

Susannah came to the dayroom just as Tom was finishing the last of the pizza and chocolate shake Sam and Viki had brought him for lunch. "Well, I see you had you're favorite lunch," Susannah commented, seeing the pizza sauce all over Tom's face.

"Coach and Viki brought me the same thing for breakfast," Tom announced happily.

"Well, one of these days you're going to turn into a big ol' pizza yourself," Susannah kidded making Tom giggle.

"Tom, Alan just told me that he got some new video games in this morning and . . ."

Before Susannah had a chance to finish Tom jumped up and was asked, "Can I go there now?! I'm all finished."

"Sure you can, honey. I was just in there and Alan is expect . . ." Tom was running out the door before she got the words out.

Sam, Viki and Susannah all had big smiles on their faces. Timmy and especially Tom seemed to be thriving. Todd's body had gained four pounds. It wasn't much but it was a start.

"I have some good news. I just got Todd's latest labs back and his BUN and creatinine are nearly back to normal. The echo we did on his heart also looks good. We're taking him off the diuretics. He's still anemic, but his hemoglobin and his hematocrit have also risen. All in all, I and the rest of Todd's doctors are very pleased with his physical condition."

Viki hugged Susannah and exclaimed, "Susannah, that's wonderful news! I thought he seemed a lot better but I was afraid it was wishful thinking."

"No, he's doing great. That brings me to something else I came here to speak with you both about and that's why I wanted Tom to go to the playroom. I guess you realize that Friday is Christmas. Are either of you planning anything at home?"

"Well," Viki began, "You know Sam's kids are in school in Chicago and I'm not sure if Jessie will be coming in from Arizona. She loves it out there and will probably want to stay with Clint for the holidays. Joey would probably come to Christmas dinner if I had one. Kevin is another story. His feelings for Todd have not changed and they probably never will. He and I are not on the best of terms. Sam and I were planning on spending Christmas here, with Todd."

"Viki, Sam, what if you could take Todd home for a few days. Do you think you would like that?" Sam and Viki were left speechless for a minute.

"Susannah, do you mean it? Todd can come home! You feel he's well enough for that?" Viki asked, hopefully.

"Physically yes, and since I'm not actually putting him through therapy right now. I think it may be possible. The alters well, Tom and Timmy anyway, have been fairly stable since Todd came out of the coma. In some ways that's not so good because I think a lot of what they revealed has been pushed back down again. But, as long as they are not being prodded to look at their past they seem to be able to function without any episodes. You know that very soon we are going to have to get back to full time therapy and, oh God . . ."

Susannah shook her head and continued. "We still have the whole Michelle matter facing us and them. I wanted Todd, or at least Timmy and Tom, to experience some happiness before things get complicated again. I also wanted to see how being in the home environment would effect them. It would only be for three or four days. We would have to make that very clear to them. They have to understand that they will be coming back here."

Viki and Sam were ecstatic. "Susannah I think that's a wonderful idea. You know, Todd never had a happy Christmas growing up. I guess that's no surprise. He never had a happy anything," Viki stated sadly.

"I was thinking that perhaps you could take Todd home day after tomorrow. That would allow him to be home for Christmas Eve. We could get him back to the hospital on Monday. That would give him several days to be with you. Do you think that would work out?"

Viki's smile was huge. "Yes! Absolutely! Susannah, thank you," Viki hugged Susannah tightly.

Susannah smiled and said, "Now, I need to discuss their medication with you. You know how difficult it is to get any of them to take oral medication. You will have to put their meds in juice and make sure they drink it all. We don't want them to miss any doses of the antidepressant and if they become too anxious or agitated they will need to be given an anxiolytic prn. I will also prescribe a slightly higher dose of their sleep med. It will help with the nightmares and allow them to have a deeper sleep."

Susannah sighed. "The supplements are more of a problem. They have a stronger taste and they don't like anything you put them in. You really have to do some coaxing to get those down. Also, you have to weigh him daily, before breakfast. You have to keep a record of everything he eats and drinks and how much urine he puts out and how many bowel movements he has in a day. We have to make sure he's taking in enough calories and fluids and that he's not having any adverse reactions to the medications or starting to retain water. I would also suggest you take some of their toys and things home so they will have some familiar things around."

Viki looked at Sam and pointed out, "You mean in addition to the toy store that Sam is planning on buying out for their presents."

"Hey, I just want to make sure he gets all the things he missed out on," Sam smiled as he confirmed Viki's statement.

"That's okay, I think they could all do with a little spoiling," Susannah laughed.

"Susannah?" Viki asked, "Do you have any plans for the holiday?"

"Catching up on my sleep," Susannah answered, smiling.

"Would you like to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with us? You are more than welcome to spend the night."

"I think Tom and Timmy would like that," Sam added.

Susannah was taken back by the invitation. "Wouldn't you like it to be just family?" Susannah stated in her straightforward way.

"Susannah, you are family. Tom and Timmy love you and I know you love them," Viki told Susannah and put her arm around her friend.

Tom was out on Wednesday. He was watching The Rugrats on Nick and didn't notice Susannah when she came to his room. Nancy was with him.

"Did he finish his breakfast?" Susannah asked. "He didn't finish but he did fairly well, considering it was cereal and not pizza," Nancy laughed as she informed Susannah.

The show had just finished and Tom turned around. He realized Susannah had come into the room. "Hi!" His voice was enthusiastic as he rushed towards her.

"Wanna see the new video game Sam got me?"

"Sure," Susannah answered. She brushed his hair back from his face.

After they looked at the game Susannah asked, "Tom, did you know that the day after tomorrow is Christmas?"

"It is?" He was surprised. Then he seemed to get very sad.

"What's the matter honey?" Susannah prodded. She put her arm around his shoulder.

"My dad doesn't like Christmas. He gets extra mad at Christmas. Almost as mad as he gets on Todd's birthday."

This was the first time that either of them had mentioned anything about their past or Peter since they'd been sick. Susannah wanted to pursue what Tom had just told her but she didn't want to him getting upset. So she made a mental note to herself to try to get him to talk about this when they went back to having regular sessions.

"Honey, I promise your dad will not be anywhere near you this Christmas. I have a surprise for you. How would you like to go home for a few days, just to spend the holidays with Sam and Viki, then you would come back here, to your room?"

Tom's eyes got huge. "Really? I can go home to my room at Viki's house? I liked it there. She's got this real long banister and I never got to slide down it because I had to pretend to be Todd."

"Well, this time you won't have to pretend."

"Cause everyone knows I'm me. Right?"

"That's right," Susannah confirmed. She smiled and patting his head.

"Will Coach be there?"

"Oh yes, absolutely. Sam will be there."

"What about Tea? Will Téa be there?"

"I think Téa will be there if she knows you want her to be," Susannah answered. She felt sure Téa would not want to miss being with them on Christmas.

"Can you come too?" Tom asked. He put his head on Susannah's shoulder.

Susannah hugged him. "If you want me to be there, I will."

"Cool! Now everyone I love will be there." Susannah's eyes filled with tears, as she hugged him tighter.

Suddenly, Tom said, "Uh oh."

"Honey, what's the matter?"

"Timmy is crying. He thinks were going without him."

Smiling slightly, Susannah said, "Timmy, you're coming too sweetie. We would never go without you."

Tom turned towards the left and put his arm "around Timmy" and said, "See, I told you." This was the first time Susannah had seen one of the alters, have physical contact with one of the others. "Don't worry, I take good care of Timmy," Tom said, trying to sound very grown up.

"I know you do honey," Susannah agreed and hugged him.

Sam and Viki spent the most of the next day, excitedly, getting things ready for "Todd" to come home. They bought a huge tree and as Viki knew he would, Sam just about cleaned out TOYSRUS. Viki also picked up presents for Todd, Miss Perkins, Rodd and the others, just in case. Viki made sure there was plenty of frozen pizza in the freezer and chocolate pudding in the fridge. Susannah made sure all of Todd's medications were accounted for. Some of Tom and Timmy's favorite games and puzzles were packed, and of course, Mr. Rabbit.

Tom was out when Sam and Viki came to bring him home. "Come on Tom, I know you're excited, but you have to finish your lunch," Terry was saying to Tom as Sam and Viki walked into the day room. A burger and fries sat in front of him, with just a couple of bites taken.

When Tom saw Viki and Sam come in to his room he rushed to them and said, "Can we go now? I'm all ready."

"I'll say!" Terry said, grinning, she added, "He insisted on getting cleaned up and dressed at seven this morning."

"Okay, Boomer we'll leave as soon as you finish your lunch."

"Do I have to? Can't I have lunch later?"

"Tom, I still have to speak with Doctor Hanen before we leave. You have plenty of time to finish your lunch. I'm going to Doctor Hanen's office now, and if you've cleaned your plate by the time I get back we can leave. Okay?" Viki was firm.

"Okay," Tom mumbled, looking down and sulking.

"Susannah, he's so excited to be coming home," Viki pointed out, with a big smile on her face. She sat in front of Susannah's desk. "I can't believe that just a couple of weeks ago we came so close to losing him."

"His physical recovery is amazing, especially, considering the shape he was in before he got sick." Susannah agreed.

Susannah handed Viki a sheet of paper. "Viki, let's go over his medication schedule one more time." After that was done Susannah leaned back in her chair and said, "I know I don't have to tell you that you have to keep a close eye on him. He can't be left alone."

Viki was touched by the fact that Susannah sounded more like a concerned parent than Todd's doctor. "Susannah have you given any more thought to my invitation?"

"Well, actually, I did promise Tom I would be there to at least visit with him while he was home."

"Susannah, Sam and I would really love it if your would stay over Christmas Eve into Christmas Day. I've invited Larry Wolek over for Christmas dinner. I know he would be very happy to see you there." Viki knew that Larry always spoke of Susannah with great fondness. "I've also invited Téa. Do you think I did the right thing doing that?"

"I don't see any problem with that. Tom expressed his wish to have Téa there. Both Timmy and Todd seem to really care for Téa and want her to care for them."

Viki nodded in agreement and remarked. "It turns out that Téa is very good with them, once she got over her initial fear of seeing Todd that way." Susannah already knew Blair and Starr would not be there, that they would be spending Christmas with Dorian. Susannah felt that, since in all likelihood, Tom or Timmy would be out and since it was Todd's first time home and things were unpredictable it would be best if Starr were not there.

"What about your kids Viki? Will any of them be there?"

"Well, Joey is spending Christmas Eve with Kelly, but they may stop by Christmas Day. Jessie has decided to stay with Clint for the holiday."

"What about Kevin? Does he know Todd will be home for Christmas?"

"Yes, I spoke with him yesterday. Susannah, it's really sad. Kevin and I are like two strangers who work together. We pass in the hall and nod. We discuss business. That's it. If the subject of Todd comes up, we just end up in an argument. Kevin thinks Todd is just using me and this illness to stay out of jail or that he is just doing this for my attention."

Susannah was surprised. "Viki, surely Kevin must realize how ill Todd is by now. I mean if nothing else, he does know how close Todd came to dying? Doesn't he?"

"Yes, he knows."

"He couldn't possibly think Todd was pretending that?"

"Kevin's resentment of Todd goes way back. You know the history there. It just seems like something more now. Ever since Kevin found out Todd was my brother, his resentment of my relationship with Todd has just grown and grown. Kevin was never jealous of any time Clint or I spent with Joey or Jessica, but I know he resents every second I have ever spent with Todd. Frankly, as much as I want him there, a part of me is hoping he'll go to Dorian's with Cassie. So, not to change the subject, but will you be joining us?"

Susannah smiled and answered. "All right, yes."

"Susannah, that's wonderful! I know Tom and Timmy will be thrilled to have you there with them." Susannah knew in her heart that the main reason she accepted was her need to be with them too. She wanted to be there with them, just in case there was a problem. CONTINUED IN PART 39B

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