Susannah was right and Todd had slept through the day and into the next. Sam and Viki had finally gone home and tried to get some rest. Susannah remained in her office. She showered in the doctor's lounge and changed into scrubs. She got some sleep on her couch. She was far more worried about Todd than she let on. Her instincts told her that something she could not put her finger on was happening to him. She was still concerned over the appearance of the two previously unseen alters. Susannah ordered staff to continue to be within arm's length of Todd at all times. He remained on suicide precautions.

Susannah realized how fortunate it was that money was not a problem for Todd or Viki. She realized it was not only that Viki didn't need to depend on medical insurance to keep Todd in the hospital. It was Viki's contributions to the hospital and her position that allowed Susannah to keep Todd here for as long as she needed to. It also allowed Susannah and the staff that worked with her to be able to treat Todd exclusively. And Todd needed every minute Susannah put into his case. Not knowing the severity of Todd's illness, when she first had him hospitalized, Susannah never dreamed he'd be here for as long as he has been. She did not want him transferred to a long-term facility like St. Ann's. While he would be kept safe there, he would not receive the intensive therapy he needed.

It was lunchtime, but Susannah wasn't hungry. She headed for Todd's room. Sam and Viki had returned and were sitting by his bed. Sam was holding Todd's hand and Viki was stroking his head, speaking softly to him. Susannah was about to check his pulse when his eyes fluttered open.

"Mommy," Timmy called out. He looked directly into Viki's eyes.

"Hi, baby, it's Viki. I'm right here, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere," Viki stroked his head.

Timmy tried to reach out for a hug and realized his wrists were bound to the bed. He quickly realized his ankles were bound to the bed as well. The heart monitor he was on started to go wild as panic set in. "No! Daddy, please! I'll be good. Please don't tie me up. Please don't punish me. I'll be good! Take them off! NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO! NOOOO!"

Susannah turned his face to her. "Timmy, it's Doctor Hanen. Shhhh. Calm down sweetie. It's okay, I'll untie you. Timmy. Look at me, sweetie." Timmy was trembling so hard the bed was shaking. "Timmy, daddy is not here. Just relax."

Finally, Timmy focused on Susannah's face and started to calm down. "I'm scared of being tied down," he cried, as tears poured down his face.

"Okay, sweetie, I'm going to untie you right now. Sam, can you get his ankles?"

In just seconds they released the restraints. As soon as he was able, the still trembling Timmy reached out and held onto Susannah.

"You're safe Timmy. No one will hurt you. Shhhh, you're okay sweetie," Susannah spoke soothingly. She rubbed Timmy's back as she comforted him.

"Was I bad?"

"No, Timmy, you weren't bad, not at all," Susannah answered. She continued to rub his back.

"How come daddy came in and tied me up?"

"Timmy, daddy didn't come in here. Remember that I told you, daddy can never come near you again. What you had on are called restraints. If someone gets very upset they might move around too much and hurt themselves. Todd could have hurt himself, so we had to help him to hold still. That's why Todd's body still had the restraints on when you woke up. Sweetie, do you understand? You were not bad. I was just trying to keep Todd safe." Timmy just looked puzzled and shrugged his shoulders.

Timmy was also afraid of the IV, and as she had with Tom, Susannah calmed his fears about it. Susannah did a brief exam. Physically he was still very weak. All he had been through in the past few days had caused his system to deteriorate even further. Susannah knew that if Todd and the others didn't start eating more soon she would have to order a feeding tube.

As if she could read Susannah's mind, Viki went to the pantry to get Timmy some chocolate pudding.

"Hey buddy, would you like me to bring some of your toys to you, or some paper and crayons?" Sam asked.

"Mr. Rabbit," Timmy answered. Timmy immediately hugged the stuffed animal to himself as soon as Sam handed Mr. Rabbit to him.

Viki returned carrying a bowel of chocolate pudding. "Timmy, I have your favorite sweetheart, chocolate pudding. Will you let me feed you some? I promise I won't let any spill."

To Viki's relief, he nodded and answered "Okay."

Halfway through, Timmy looked at Sam and said, "I'm glad we're not in that other place any more. It was so cold there and that big moose was real scary." They realized that Timmy remembered his time at the lodge.

"Timmy," Susannah asked, "Do you remember anything else about being at the lodge?"

"Terry and Frank and Jeff was there," Timmy remembered.

"Do you remember anything about Todd?" He shook his head. "Timmy, do you know another boy who calls himself Todd and lives in a secret hiding place?" Again, he shook his head. "Do you ever hear someone inside, crying?"

This time he nodded and confirmed, "We all hear him sometimes, but nobody can find him. Miss Perkins says not to listen."

"Timmy, do you know a little boy named Andy?" Susannah asked.

Timmy's eyes welled up with tears. They made their way down his cheeks.

"Timmy, does thinking about Andy make you sad?" Timmy didn't answer Susannah's question. "Sweetie, it's okay to feel sad about someone. Can you tell us why you feel sad about Andy?"

"Daddy'll be mad."

"No, Timmy, daddy is not here. He can't hear anything you say. I promise," Susannah assured him.

Sam sat next to Timmy. He put his arm around Timmy's slight shoulders and hugged him tightly. He tried to coax Timmy. "Timmy, I'd really like to hear about Andy. Your daddy isn't here and can never come here. It's safe to tell us all about Andy."

Timmy looked up at each of them. They could see great sadness in his innocent eyes. Timmy looked down at the sheets and began to tell them about Andy.

"Andy was my bestest friend. He taught me all kinds of stuff. He showed me his secret tree. Just me. I'm the only one Andy told about it. We played together all the time." Timmy's chin started to quiver and more tears fell.

"Sweetie, did something happen to Andy?" Susannah asked very gently. She wiped away Timmy's tears.

"Daddy killeded him! Daddy killeded him and he never came back again," Timmy sobbed as if his heart were breaking.

"No sweetie, Andy's not dead," Susannah informed him. Timmy looked up at her with pleading, questioning eyes.

"Andy didn't get killeded?" Timmy sounded as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"No pal. We all saw Andy here just the other day. He came out to say hello to us," Sam told Timmy. He continued to hug him.

Timmy's eyes searched out Viki. "Did you see Andy too?"

"Yes sweetheart! Andy was here and he even left some toy dinosaurs for you to play with."

"Andy loves dinosaurs! He knows all about them!" Timmy exclaimed.

They could all see the joy that replaced the sadness on Timmy's face. "Where's Andy? Can he come here and play with me now, or can I go play with him?" Timmy was so excited.

"Timmy, you need to rest a little and eat your pudding. Maybe later or tomorrow we can see if we can get Andy to come out and play with you." Susannah was afraid to try to send Timmy back inside. She was not sure if Andy would be there and she didn't want him to be disappointed.

Timmy seemed a little disappointed anyway, but he accepted that he had to wait a bit to be reunited with his friend.

"Sweetheart, how about I feed you some chocolate pudding now?" Viki pushed. She wanted to make sure Timmy got some food in his stomach.

Timmy willingly opened his mouth for spoonful after spoonful of pudding. Without being asked he suddenly volunteered, "Daddy likes Andy best. I'm glad he don't like me best." Timmy then turned to Viki and opened his mouth for another spoon of pudding.

Like Sam and Susannah, Viki had been surprised by Timmy's last statement. It took her a minute before she noticed Timmy was patiently waiting for more pudding. "Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart," Viki apologized, as she fed Timmy some more. She managed to get three quarters of the pudding into him before he said he couldn't eat any more.

Timmy fell sleep again. Mr. Rabbit was tucked securely in his arms. They didn't want to continue questioning him while he was eating and now he fell asleep before they had a chance to ask him anymore questions about Andy.

Connie's shift started and she sat with Timmy for a while. Sam and Viki went back to Susannah's office with her. Too much had happened in the past few days. Their minds were spinning. They didn't know what to discuss first.

"Do you think Peter really tried to kill little Andy?" Viki asked.

"Do you think there was anything Peter wasn't capable of?" Sam remarked bitterly. Both Viki and Susannah shook their heads to Sam's question.

"Susannah, do you think the alter who told us what happened to Michelle only came out for that one night? He said he loved Michelle," Viki pointed out.

"I believe that is what happened. He might have been around before that night, however, I don't think he ever came back until we were at the lodge. I believe he is the one they hear crying. I also believe Todd hears him crying when he thinks about Georgie. I am sure the association of what happened to Georgie and what happened to Michelle is the reason Todd has been in a crisis since Georgie was killed. When he saw Georgie on the floor and he saw the bloody bat and gloves his subconscious immediately made the connection to Michelle," Susannah explained.

"Do you think he has any conscious memories at all of what happened that night?" Sam asked.

"I think he remembers what happened up until he said no to Peter, maybe a little past that. I believe he remembers being beaten with the belt buckle, or at least the beginning of the beating. I'm certain he doesn't remember the rape or anything after that. The alter who also calls himself Todd came out and stayed out at that point. Pete came out at the end, but I do believe he remembers all or most of it. From what he said, he knows Peter killed Michelle."

"Was that Todd who spoke to us when he was talking about the ride home from the woods and about cleaning up the cake from the hallway?" Viki asked.

"I believe so, but I'm not sure. I don't suppose we'll know until he's rational enough to be questioned."

Susannah could see that Sam and Viki were as exhausted as she was. She knew they all needed some rest before they continued to discuss this. She suggested they head for the lounge and get some rest and meet with her later in the day. They took her up on her suggestion.

Sam had fallen asleep on the couch in the lounge and Viki thumbed through some magazines. Her mind too distracted to read or sleep. Susannah had not been able to get any sleep either. She sat at her desk listening to the recording she made at the lodge, subconsciously shaking her head as she listened. Interlocking the fingers of her hands, she raised them together to the top of her head and leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. What if Sam can't get the police to leave Todd alone? What if they insist on questioning him? There's no way in hell Todd can handle that.

The phone interrupted Susannah's thoughts. It was Connie. Todd was awake.

Susannah did not stop to let Sam and Viki know Todd was awake. She felt they had enough for now and just in case Todd was highly agitated she wanted to spare them another scene. To Susannah's relief, Todd was awake and sitting up in bed. He was calm. Connie told Susannah that Todd woke up and looked around but had not been responsive to any questions. Susannah asked Connie to wait outside Todd's room with Carl.

Susannah walked over to Todd and asked him how he felt. She got no response at first. Then Todd muttered, "Thirsty."

Susannah, with one hand supporting the back of his head, held a cup of water to Todd's lips. He drank, thirstily. "Would you like some more?" she asked.

"Please," he answered and made eye contact with Susannah.

"How are you feeling?" Susannah asked.

"Tired, weak," Todd answered, as he drank some more of the water Susannah held to his lips. He surprised Susannah when he announced, "I want to get out of bed. I need to move around. I need to move around. I can't stand this. I'm trapped here. I want to get out of this room."

Susannah didn't understand Todd's sudden anxiety about being in bed or in his room.

"I want to get out of this room! I want to walk outside, in the sun."

"Todd, you know you can't go outside," Susannah gently reminded him.

"Can't we go to your office?"

This request surprised Susannah even more than his need to get out of his room did. Todd had never asked to go to her office before. Something was definitely going on with him.

"Todd, I'm not sure you're strong enough to do that yet. Would you like to try to get out of bed first and sit in the chair?"

He nodded. Susannah had him sit at the edge of the bed and just dangle his feet for a few minutes. She called Connie in and they helped him to the chair.

"Why am I so weak? Have I been sick?" Todd looked at the IV in his arm.

"Todd, you do know you've been in the hospital for quite some time don't you?"

"Yeah, I . . . Hospital," he repeated after Susannah. He looked confused.

"Todd, do you know what month it is?" He thought for a few seconds and then shook his head.

"It's summer! It's summer isn't it? No wait, it's not, it's . . . You're getting me confused." He was starting to become agitated.

"Todd, it's okay, you don't have to think about it now," Susannah answered.

He stood up and said, "I don't like it here. I want to walk outside. I can walk. I want to move. I hate this."

"All right, would you like to try to walk to my office?"

"Yeah," he answered.

Connie and Carl went with them. Susannah wheeled Todd's IV pole as they walked along, while Carl and Connie held on to his arms to steady him. Todd's strength seemed to be coming back a little. Although the walk left him a little short of breath, he made it without stopping.

Once in her office, they got Todd settled in a club chair. "Is this better?" She asked.

"I'd rather be outside, in the sun."

"Todd, do you remember leaving the hospital at all since you've been here?" Susannah asked cautiously. Susannah noticed him looking in Connie and Carl's direction.

Susannah turned to address them. "Please wait right outside." Once she and Todd were alone Susannah repeated her question. "Do you remember leaving the hospital since you've been here?"

"No," Todd answered, then said, "You keep saying I will someday, but I'll never get out."

Susannah heard the hopelessness in his voice. "Todd, you'll get out. You're making progress. I know it's very difficult and painful for you to talk about some things, but honey, once you can talk about how you're feeling and what you think makes you feel the way you do, I can help you to start to understand what some of those thoughts and feelings mean and . . ."

"No, I'll never leave here!" Todd cut her off. This time he sounded more like he was afraid if he did leave the hospital than he was afraid that he never would.

Susannah redirected the conversation to where it had begun. "Do you remember being at Asa's lodge?"

"You know I found Georgie there. You know I took all those people hostage there. Why are you asking me that again?" Todd asked, impatiently.

"Do you remember being there since?" Susannah pressed.

"Yeah, Asa invites me over every night for poker," he answered, sarcastically. Susannah smiled, surprised by Todd's humor.

"Todd, do you remember being there just the other day? Do you remember waking up there?" Todd looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"I haven't been to that lodge! I never want to go back there again!"

Susannah took the plunge. "Todd, you were there the other day. I took you there."

Todd stood up and started to walk to his spot by the window. Afraid he would get tangled in the IV or trip over the pole, Susannah asked him to sit down. He ignored her and continued to the window. Susannah helped him.

Once she had him standing safely by the window, she again repeated, "Todd, you were at Asa's lodge a couple of days ago. Do you have any memory of it?"

"Why would you take me to Asa's lodge? I don't believe you."

"I took you there because I wanted you to remember the night you found Georgie."

Susannah could see his muscles tighten. "I also wanted you to remember the night . . ."

"Why did you do that?" Todd asked, interrupting Susannah.

"Why did I do what?" Susannah asked.

"Why did you turn the lights out? Are you playing some kind of joke on me? Okay, joke's over. I don't like this. Put the lights back on. Is this some kind of test! Okay, you win! Please! I don't like being in the dark. Put the lights back on. Please!" Todd begged. He began to panic. He spun around and tripped over the IV pole and fell to the floor.

Susannah's heart was racing. She ran to where Todd sat. He was totally disoriented. He tried to stand up. "Todd, don't move. Let me see if you've hurt yourself."

Todd struggled in an attempt to free himself but Susannah held him tightly. Swallowing hard, Susannah kept her voice calm. She didn't not want to call for Connie and Carl just yet. She knew that would just add to Todd's panic.

"Todd I know you're very frightened, but I want you to try and calm down and tell me what you see."

"You know what I see! It's dark! You turned the lights off. Why are you doing this? I want Sam and Viki. They'll make you stop doing this. I want Sam and Viki!" Todd cried as tears mingled with the fear in his eyes.

"Todd, listen to me," Susannah spoke gently. She still held on to him tightly. "I want you to try to relax. I need you to answer a few questions. Do you feel dizzy?"

"No," he answered. He was trembling.

"Does your head hurt?" "No," he whispered.

"Do you feel any numbness in your arms or face or legs?"

"No," he wept. He tried to reach out to feel where he was. "Please put the lights on! You're scaring me. I don't like the dark."

Susannah could hear his heart pounding. "Todd, let's get you over to the couch."

"No! First put the lights on," Todd cried out. He tried, in vain, to pull away from Susannah's tight grip.

"Todd," Susannah said softly, "the lights are still on. It's not dark in here. Now, I'm going to help you to get up and sit on the couch." The fear in Todd's eyes turned to terror.

"What do you mean the lights are on?" Todd reached up to feel his eyes. "My eyes are open. Why can't I see! Why is it dark! All I can see is black. WHY CAN'T I SEE!" Todd screamed. His breath came in short gasps.

This page hosted by Get your own FREE Home Page