Viki moved away slowly. She gently resting his head on the pillow and pulled the blanket up around him. She looked down at him and knew he and the others had to be given their chance to heal, whatever it took. If there was a chance that it would help them, it had to be tried. Viki went to see if Susannah was still in her office. She had made her decision.

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Susannah had been surprised to see Viki back in her office so soon. She thought it would be a couple of days before Viki made her decision. She realized how difficult this was for Viki and she knew how frightened Viki was for her brother. Susannah also realized that Sam was probably vehemently opposed to her allowing Todd to be taken to the lodge. She hoped this wouldn't cause problems for their fledgling relationship.

"Do you think I should talk to Asa or Bo about taking Todd to the lodge?" Susannah asked, after Viki told her she would allow Todd to be taken there.

"I think Bo would be your best bet. Asa wouldn't lift a finger to help Todd. Susannah, when are you going to tell Todd what you are planning to do? What if he refuses? If one of the children are out, would you take them? Are you sure he is physically strong enough to go through this? He seems so fragile now. He's so withdrawn. He's not even aware of anyone being with him most of the time. He wants to die. Do you know that? He asked me to help him die. He . . ."

"Viki, slow down." Susannah could tell from this barrage of statements and questions that Viki was in a near state of panic over Todd. Susannah stood up and kneeled in front of Viki's chair. Taking Viki's hand in hers she said, "Yes, I do know how depressed and withdrawn Todd is. I know he feels like dying is his only way out. We need to show him another way. That's what were trying to do Viki, show him another way out."

Viki's chin started to quiver. "I just want to do what's best for him. I don't want to cause him more pain, still I know it may be necessary," Viki admitted, near tears. Susannah knew Viki was still unsure about her decision.

"Viki, to answer your other questions, I'm not sure if Todd will be able to understand or even hear me, but if he's out I will probably tell him just before we are set to go. If I tell him too far ahead, it will only give his anxiety level a chance to increase. Yes, I would take one of the children, actually, it might be better for Todd if one of the alters made the trip out there. I would try to get Todd to come out once we were there. I will check him out before we left to make sure he was physically strong enough to go through this. Viki, as I told you, I will sedate Todd enough to take the edge off his anxiety. You realize he may very well have no reaction at all to being there. I do believe his memories of his fourteenth birthday are closer to the surface then they have been, along with his memories of everything else. I am pretty sure that is why he is shutting down. I think being in the cabin will trigger those memories of Michelle, but as I said, it is possible that he will have no reaction. "

Susannah looked closely at Viki. "Is Sam okay with this?"

"No, I don't think he is. He is afraid for Todd. Sam saw Todd that night. He saw what that night did to him. I think that is why he is so afraid of what will happen when those memories come back and frankly Susannah, so am I," Viki answered, her voice shaking. As Susannah walked Viki to the door she rubbed her back reassuringly and said, "I truly believe we are doing the right thing for Todd." Viki looked at Susannah and nodded. She left the office.

Bo was surprised to hear from Susannah. Nora had told him about Susannah's visit and he knew that things were probably not going well for Todd.

"How'er you doing? How do you like being back in Llanview?" Bo made small talk. He felt a little awkward.

Never one to beat around the bush, Susannah got right to the point. "Bo, I have a favor to ask you. It's about Todd."

"How is Todd? How's he doing?" Bo asked, genuinely concerned.

"Not to good. He's come along, up to a point, but I need to take him further and that's where you come in. I want to take Todd back to Asa's lodge. I think being there will help him remember some things. Do you think you can get Asa to agree to give me permission to use the lodge?"

Bo was shocked by Susannah's request. "Susannah, you really think that's a good idea? I mean Todd was pretty freaked out the last time he was there and what possible association could that place have to his childhood? He was only there twice. Once when he took Georgie's body and then when he took us hostage . . . wait a minute! Are you saying Georgie had something to do with Todd's childhood? I always wondered why he was so obsessed with that girl?"

Susannah didn't want him to get the wrong impression. She knew she could not give him too many details, however. "No, Bo, I'm not saying that at all. As far as I know, Georgie was a stranger to Todd. I really can't get into this in any detail. I just need to know if I can get permission to take Todd to the lodge."

The line was quiet for a moment and then Bo promised, "I'll have the keys sent to you tomorrow morning. Oh, by the way, the code for the alarm is poker. Pa never bothered to change it, even though half the town knows it now."

Susannah thanked Bo and told him to say hello to Nora for her, even though she knew her sister would not be happy to hear it.

Sam had given Viki enough time to be alone with Todd and to make her decision, but he was not surprised to see her still sitting by Todd's bed when he got to the hospital. Sam walked over to where Viki sat. He put both hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head and said, "I thought I'd find you here."

"I told Susannah to go ahead with her plan," Viki informed Sam.

"I figured you would. I know you want to give him every possible chance. How is he doing? Was Todd out at all?" Viki nodded. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Were you able to get him to speak or even know you were there?"

Viki looked up at Sam and brought her right hand to her shoulder. She took Sam's hand into her own. She knew that even though he disagreed, he would support her decision.

"He came back for a few moments. He looked at me. He recognized me. Sam, he asked me to help him die," Viki cried, as tears fell on her cheeks. "He said he doesn't want to be here, on earth, anymore. Sam, he was so confused. He didn't even know I was standing by his bed at first. He couldn't focus. Todd was only able to stay with me for a few moments and then Timmy came out. Those poor sweet children have been hurt so badly. How will anyone ever heal them? Oh God! Sam, I hope I am doing the right thing."

Sam rested his chin on Viki's head and whispered, "You're letting the love you have for Todd guide your decision. No matter what happens you are doing the right thing, the only thing you can do. You're trying to give him a chance. I do understand that and I respect you and love you for it."

This was the first time Sam told Viki that he loved her. Her eyes welled up with tears once again when she realized she loved Sam as well. It had been a long time since she had this kind of feeling, too long.

Viki and Sam were about to leave for the night when they heard a nightmare in progress. Timmy had switched, spontaneously, in his sleep. Tom was screaming out loud and thrashing about. His legs were moving as if they couldn't feel what was under them. His hands grasped at the air. His breath was coming in short gasps. Sam got to him first.

"Tom, it's all right wake up, pal. You're having a bad dream. Come on wake up!" Sam shook him, gently.

Tom's eyes shot open. He was not seeing Viki or Sam. He was seeing and feeling Peter's arms holding him. He was feeling Peter's thumb and knuckle pressing into his throat, cutting off his breath. He was feeling the bed underneath him disappear, as Peter hoisted him into the air.

"No! Get away! Don't! Please stop! I'll be good. No! No!" As Dave came rushing in from his post outside the door, Sam tried to hold Tom, but he leapt off the bed and fell to the floor. Before anyone had a chance to get to him he scrambled up, frantically banging into the furniture and knocking over an IV pole that had been left in the room. Tom's head crashed into a monitor that had been pushed aside. It was apparent that Tom was not seeing the room he was in but a room from his past.

Dave called for assistance.

"It's Tom, he's having a nightmare. We tried to wake him. He opened his eyes, but still seems to be in the dream." Viki informed Marcia, Alice and Jeff as they made there way into Todd's room. They could hear the panic in her voice.

Marcia turned to Alice. "Go see if Susannah is still in her office." She then joined the others in restraining Tom.

"Tom, it's Dave, buddy. I need you to calm down for me."

"I don't think he can hear you," Sam shouted above Tom's cries.

"Susannah's coming," Alice called out, as she rushed towards Tom and the staff.

Tom's face and body were covered with the bruises he got from banging into the furniture, equipment and walls, trying to get away from the hands that were torturing him.

"No, I didn't do it, NO!" Tom shrieked, as they held him firmly.

Sam saw that a huge bump was already forming above his right eyebrow. He knelt down near him.

"Tom, it's Sam. Can you hear me?"

"They're hurting me," Tom whimpered.

"Who's hurting you?" Sam asked"

"The hands! They're gonna burn me! Now they're extra mad because I didn't hold still. I wanted to, but it hurts so much. I can't breath!"

Tom wanted to push away the hand at his throat but he couldn't move his arms because they were being held down.

Susannah came rushing in and knelt down next to Tom. "He's given himself quite a bump on the head," Marcia informed Susannah. She turned Tom's head slightly towards Susannah.

Tom was now starting to quiet down. He looked around and seemed surprised to find himself in his hospital room.

"Tom, do you know who I am?" Susannah asked.

"Doctor Hanen," he replied.

"That's great honey. Can you tell me where you are?" Tom looked around again.

"The hospital," he whimpered. Tom looked at Sam. "Hey Coach," Tom suddenly became aware of Sam's presence.

"Tom, do you feel dizzy or nauseous?" Susannah asked.

Tom shook his head and complained, "My head hurts. It hurts all over."

"How many fingers do you see?" Susannah held up two fingers.

"Two," Tom answered.

Susannah checked his eyes. His pupils reacted equally to the light. "I think he just has a real bad bump on his head," Susannah acknowledged, as she stroked his hair back.

"You can release him," Susannah informed the staff.

"He did a pretty good job on his arms and legs too," Dave advised Susannah so she would know to check them out as well.

"I'm thirsty, can I have some grape soda?" Tom asked Sam.

"How about some chocolate milk, Boomer? It's better for you then soda."

"Okay," Tom answered.

Sam stood up and noticed Viki standing near the window. She had the look of someone who had just seen an accident. While Susannah continued to check Tom out, Sam went to Viki. He put his arms around her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Viki answered and then stated, "How much more can he take? How long before his body gives out or before he does serious damage to himself?"

Viki turned to look at Tom. He was still sitting on the floor. He was playing with a penlight Susannah had handed him to distract him while she finished examining him. Susannah looked up at Viki. She saw the distraught look on Viki's face. Susannah stood up and walked over to her.

"Tom's not seriously hurt, just some bruises." Viki looked at her and wondered out loud, "Is there any point in putting him through additional torture?"

Susannah realized Viki did not only doubt her decision to let Susannah take Todd to the lodge, she doubted if her brother could be helped at all. Susannah rubbed Viki's arm, not saying anything. She looked at Tom. He had crawled over to where Timmy's stuffed animals were. He was shining the penlight in the eyes of a stuffed rabbit. He was "playing doctor."

Susannah walked over to where Tom sat and knelt down. Smiling, she pointed out, "You do that better than I do. Did you examine Mr. Rabbit? Is he okay?"

"No, his head hurts," Tom whimpered.

"Well, Mr. Rabbit looks very sleepy to me. Why don't we get you and Mr. Rabbit into bed," Susannah suggested while she rubbed Tom's back.

Susannah was pulling the covers up over Tom when Sam came back in with the chocolate milk. Tom was about half way through with it when he looked at Viki and asked, "Are you mad at me?"

"No sweetheart. Of course not. Why do you think I'm mad at you?"

"Because you're standing way over there and you're not talking to me. Are you gonna go away forever? Did I do something wrong?"

Viki came over to the bed. She gently took Tom's bruised face in her hands. "Do you know I love you and Timmy and Todd and all the others who live with you more than anything in the whole world?"

Tom looked directly into Viki's eyes. He shook his head. "Well, I do and I promise no matter what you or the others do I will never leave you and I will never stop loving you. Never, no matter what."

Forgetting he was holding his milk in his hand, Tom accidentally let it spill on the floor. Tom looked down at the puddle of milk. His calm turned to fear once again.

"My dad's gonna be real mad at me! I'm gonna get punished for spilling the milk. He's gonna make me get down and lick it up! Did the glass break! I'm gonna get cut with it if the glass broke!"

They all realized that even for the simple mistake of spilling a glass of milk, Peter had tortured this child.

"Tom, listen to me," Susannah held him by the shoulders and was hoping to prevent yet another flashback. "Your dad is not here. No one is going to punish you for spilling the milk. Tom! Look at me. Tell me who I am."

Tom raised his frightened eyes in her direction. "Doctor Hanen."

"That's very good. Now look around and tell me where you are."

"My room in the hospital," Tom confirmed. He looked around again to make sure he was really there. "My dad's not here?"

"No honey, your dad isn't anywhere near here and he can never come near you again," Susannah's voice was soothing and assuring. "Now why don't you put your head down and try to get some sleep. I think Mr. Rabbit is very sleepy too."

"Can Sam stay with me? I never got to show him the new Game Boy you bought me," Tom asked Susannah.

"Sure I can pal, but first I want you to try and get some sleep and then when you wake up we'll check out your new game, okay?" Sam said, as he gently pushed Tom's head toward the pillow.

Viki was relieved that Sam would be staying with Tom. She knew that she needed to be alone tonight. She needed to think. She kissed Tom goodnight and waited until he turned over and closed his eyes. Then, facing Sam, she lightly caressed the back of his neck and kissed him and said, "Thank you."

"For what?" Sam asked.

"For loving my brother and for loving me." Viki responded and then she gathered her coat and bag and went home.

"Do you think this is too much for her to her to handle? Sam asked Susannah.

"Viki's inner strength would amaze you," Susannah replied and then asked, "Will you be all right? Would you like me to stay for a while?" Sam looked down at Tom, who was now sleeping peacefully. Mr. Rabbit was tucked in his arm and under his chin.

"No, I think we'll be all right, Sam answered. Susannah left but did not head home. She went back to her office to plan for Todd's return to the night Georgie Phillips was killed.

TO BE CONTINUED

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