"No! No! I want to go home. I want my mommy!" Timmy cried out, struggling with Sam and the doctor. Sam and Viki knew that Todd had become the child they had met in the jail cell. Before they had a chance to tell the doctor the problem, Timmy had dislodged his IV and blood spurted from his vein.

"I want my mommy," the frightened child continued to cry.

Timmy, perhaps because of the pain he was in due to Todd's injuries, saw Peter standing over him and felt Peter hitting him. It was as if it was happening right now.

"I won't tell. I promise I won't tell. Don't hurt me! I'll be good, I promise," Timmy cried out as he thrashed about. His eyes filled with pain and fear.

Viki recognized what was happening and said, "Doctor, I know what's happening. He's having a flashback of something that happened when he was a child. My brother has DID."

*************************************************************************************************************

Sam and Viki sat in the waiting room outside the O.R. The last report they had was that the surgery should be over in about an hour. That was more than two hours ago and they were getting concerned. Finally the surgeon came out and said that it had gone well. Todd shouldn't have any permanent damage to his hand and after some physical therapy he should be just fine.

Now that the physical danger had passed, Viki and Sam knew they had to make some decisions about Todd. Viki had called Susannah a while ago and Susannah had suggested that it might be best if Todd were to be kept hospitalized at least for a while, until Susannah had a better chance to evaluate him. Both Sam and Viki knew what being locked in a psychiatric ward would do to Todd. They knew that was one of the things he was probably most afraid of. They also knew he had to be kept from hurting himself.

"He should be able to leave in a few days," Viki said, looking at Sam. "Do I take him back home with me or let Susannah admit him to the hospital?"

Sam, squeezing his eyes shut and covering them with his hands, just shook his head. "I don't know. It seems no matter what we choose, Todd loses."

Viki walked over to Sam and put her hand on his shoulder. "No Sam, Todd will win. It may be hard and painful for him and he may fight it every step of the way but in the end he will win. My father may have given Todd over to Peter Manning to destroy, but I'll be damned if I will!"

Téa rushed to get dressed. She wanted to be with Todd when he woke up. Viki had called Téa and told her there was no point in her coming to the hospital right then, as Todd would be in surgery for several hours. Then Sam called Téa and told her the operation was over and Todd would be all right. Téa knew for her own sake she should sever her emotional ties to Todd, but how could she? Not now, when he needed her so much.

By the time she got to the hospital Todd had been taken to the recovery room and Sam and Viki were already with him. Téa waited for them to come out and then she would go see him. Téa noticed how close Viki and Sam were becoming. The parents Todd should have had,she thought. She wished she had been able to help him last night, she thought that if she hadn't been so afraid of him maybe then this wouldn't have happened.

Viki and Sam came back into the waiting room. "How is he?" Téa asked nervously. "He'll be fine, at least as far as his injuries go. He's still asleep," Viki responded. "I never got a chance to tell you that Doctor Hanen came over to meet with him yesterday, did I?"

"Viki, are you all right?" Téa asked because Viki had stopped talking so suddenly.

"Oh yes, it just hit me that it was only yesterday. So much has happened it seems like the session with Susannah was days ago, weeks ago."

Téa looked away from Viki, she felt so guilty. She knew that as Todd's wife she should be the one responsible for him, not Viki. But she also knew that she couldn't handle it and that her feelings for Todd would get in the way of making the best decisions. Téa was really glad that Viki and Sam had each other.

"Téa, we have to discuss something with you. Doctor Hanen thinks it would be best if Todd were admitted to the hospital for his initial treatment," Sam blurted out.

"You mean she wants him committed?" Téa asked in a shaky voice.

"Not in the way you mean," Viki interrupted. Susannah thinks it might be best if he was in a controlled environment until she begins to understand the alters better. Until she decides what, if any, medications he needs. Until he won't be a danger to himself or anyone else." Téa could see that Viki was close to tears and hugged her sister-in-law.

Téa stood by Todd's bed, she had been shocked to see his wrists and ankles were in restraints and there was a strap around his middle. She had been there about ten minutes when she heard him stir.

"Todd, its Téa. You're okay. The surgery is over and your hand will be fine. Todd can you hear me?"

"Yes, young lady, I hear you. There is no need to shout," this strange voice answered. Miss Perkins looked up at Téa and said, "I did keep him from hurting you. He doesn't really want to, you know. He is just such an angry young man. It's really all he can feel. I want you to know, I have always tried my best to protect you. You're important to us because Todd loves you with all his heart." Then "Todd" fell asleep again.

Susannah came to the private room where Todd had been moved. She saw Viki sitting vigil by her sleeping brother. "Have you gotten any sleep yourself?" Susannah inquired.

"I'm fine," Viki answered.

"Viki, have you at eaten at least? You have to take care of yourself. You know, you won't be any good to Todd if you get sick."

"Sam and I have taken turns getting some food and rest. In fact Sam is in the lounge now," Viki assured her.

Susannah looked down at her sleeping patient, his hand bandaged, his face cut. She realized he was lucky he hadn't bled to death. She had read his chart and knew when they first brought him in, that his blood pressure was almost nonexistent and he was in shock. She knew he was lucky that no permanent damage was done to his hand. She also knew she had to keep him alive long enough for him to become whole.

This young man intrigued Susannah. Even the newspaper accounts of his life clearly seemed as if they were about different people. The college boy who led a gang rape and who had stalked and attempted to rape her own sister. The same boy, only several months later, giving up his freedom to rescue his accuser and two children. The man who nearly died in Ireland trying to help a friend. Who nearly died again, helping a child get a transplant, a suspect in a bombing, a man who would take fourteen people hostage, a man who would put lilacs on a stranger's body and paid to have her buried properly. Susannah knew she wanted to find out more about this man. She figured that Todd would not be in any shape for therapy for at least a few days, physically, he was too weak. She thought this might be a good time to take a trip to Chicago.

Susannah called Viki aside and asked her how much she knew about Todd's life back in Chicago.

"Not that much I'm afraid. Todd doesn't like to speak about his past. I do know Peter was a cold, abusive parent and that Todd's mother left when he was only nine years old. She died when he was fourteen. Sam is the one you should be talking to. He has known Todd since Todd was eleven years old."

Susannah found Sam in the lounge. He was resting, but not asleep. "Hi!" He said, then in a more concerned tone, "Is it Todd? Is he worse?"

"No, he's all right. Viki is with him. He's sleeping. I wanted to ask you some questions about Todd's life back home, in Chicago," Susannah announced.

"Well, sure, I'll tell you whatever I know," Sam answered.

Sam went on to tell her about how he first met Todd. "So, you're saying Todd was well behaved as a child not a trouble maker or wild in anyway?" Susannah asked.

"Just the opposite, he was extremely quiet and shy, very polite, most of the time," Sam informed her.

"Most of the time?" Susannah asked.

"Well, every now and then he would 'act out', I guess you would call it. Sometimes he would fight with the other boys for no reason. Sometimes he acted, extremely immature, I don't know, like a child much younger than his years. Look, I knew Todd had it bad at home and I just attributed a lot of the way he acted to that. I always got the feeling he didn't want to go home at the end of the day. He would always find some reason to hang around long after the other kids left. I knew he wanted to stay with me a little longer and I would try, you know, I would try. I would take him out for ice cream or for a walk or practice throwing the ball around with him, but I had my own family. I had two kids and a wife who hated my spending any time at all away from the house. At least any time that wasn't bringing in money. I look back on it now and I know the signs were there. I saw the bruises, I saw the burns."

Susannah noticed tears forming in Sam's eyes as he continued.

"He told me he fell down and stuff like that, but I think in my heart I knew and I did nothing. Every day I let that kid go home to a man who was torturing him. Every day I would let any hope he had of escaping die. I knew he wanted to stay with me and I Iet him down. I let him down." By now the tears had spilled over and ran down Sam's cheeks. "And what did I do when I finally had a chance to help him now! I caused this to happen."

Susannah knew that Sam felt immense guilt for not rescuing Todd when he was a child. She did not understand what Sam meant about causing this to happen now. "Sam, what do you mean you caused this to happen? How could you have caused this to happen?"

"I reminded Todd of a night I promised never to mention to him again. I forced him to talk about something that happened when he was fourteen. He begged me to stop but I wouldn't let it go. I wouldn't let it go." Susannah could hear the pain in Sam's voice.

"Wouldn't let what go Sam? I'm not trying to pry or to make you break a promise, but it would really be helpful to me to know as much as I can about Todd, about his childhood."

Susannah did not want to add to Sam's guilt. However, she knew how important any information she could get would be. Sam thought for a minute then took a deep breath and continued.

"On the night of Todd's fourteenth birthday, I stopped by his house to give him a present and when I got there he had his hands around his father's throat. He was trying to kill him. I mean really trying to kill him."

Susannah said nothing for a minute, while she collected her thoughts, then asked. "Do you know why he was trying to kill his father? Do you know what Peter did that night that was so much worse than other things he has done? According to Viki and from what you've told me Peter had always physically abused Todd. Was he hurt worse than usual when you got there?"

"No, at least not that I could see. It was just . . . I don't know. He had changed. He wasn't the same kid. It was his eyes, when I looked into his eyes I knew I was looking at a stranger."

Susannah realized the importance of what Sam was saying. "Sam, please, tell me everything you know about that night. I promise what you tell me will stay with me."

"All I know about that night is that, as I said, it was Todd's birthday. Michelle, a friend from school came to Todd's house to bring him a cake. That is all Todd has ever told me about that night. The thing is, Todd never had friends over. Peter hated for anyone to come to the house, except for his own girlfriends. I do know that Todd expected his father to be out late that night. That was why I came over. Todd told me that when Peter came home to find Michelle there he went ballistic and started calling the poor girl all kinds of names and putting Todd down in front of her. That is all Todd has ever told me about that night," Sam said.

"Do you think that's all that happened that night, that Todd's father embarrassed him in front of a girl?" Susannah asked.

"No!" Sam continued, "I don't think that is all that happened. I know something horrible happened because after that Todd was never the same again. He was a different kid."

"Different how?" Susannah pressed. "He was constantly getting into trouble. He beat up other kids. He set fires, his grades went into the cellar, he disrupted his classes, and he skipped school. He started drinking beer and lying about it. I could smell it on his breath," Sam answered.

"Was he like that all the time now, consistently?"

"No, that was just it. Sometimes he would be the same kid as before, well, almost the same kid,"

"What do you mean, in what ways wasn't he the same kid?" "It was like . . ." Sam was searching to find the right words. "It was like when he was the old Todd he seemed confused by things more easily. He seemed forgetful. I don't know just different, the same but different. Does that make any sense? I don't know." Sam sounded hopeless.

"What about the girl? Did Todd continue to see Michelle?"

"No, actually there was quite a mystery surrounding Michelle Baker. She disappeared that night. She never came back home or at least that's what her parents claimed," Sam answered.

"Disappeared!" Susannah asked in a stunned voice.

"Her parents called the police later that night and reported her missing. As far as I know she was never found," Sam added.

"Are you saying that Todd and his father were the last people to see this girl? Were they questioned? Were they implicated in her disappearance? Are you afraid that Todd or Peter hurt Michelle in some way?" Susannah felt a knot in her stomach as she waited for the answer.

"No!" Sam responded, shaking his head, "Absolutely not! Todd was a sweet, gentle boy, at least up until that night. Besides, a retired judge who lived a few houses away from her saw Michelle. He claimed he saw her leave her house with a backpack at the same time that I was at Todd's house. So we knew she was alive and well after she left Todd's. The police treated it as a runaway case. Her parents swore that she was happy at home and would never run away."

"Sam, do you think she ran away?" Susannah pushed.

"I don't know. I hardly knew the girl. I only met her once when she and Todd were outside the school talking. I kidded him about having a girlfriend and I could see it was a sensitive subject to him so I dropped it. I don't think the girl's parents even knew that she and Todd were friends. They never mentioned her coming to Todd's house that night or that she or they even knew Todd," Sam said.

"Did you? Did you tell the police about that night?"

"No, I mean the girl was seen alive quite some time after she left Todd's house, by a judge no less. I saw no reason to involve Todd. He had enough to deal with," Sam said with a tinge of guilt in his voice.

"Did Todd ever speak to you about Michelle after that night?" Susannah asked.

"Well, I asked him about it the next day and he became very agitated, that's when he got me to promise I would never bring up anything about that night. He said he was embarrassed and never wanted to think about it again. I tried to get him to open up, but he just shut down. I thought about going to Peter to ask him to help his son, then I figured I would just make things worse for Todd if I did that," Sam said, sadly.

"Do Michelle's parents still live in the same house?" Susannah hoped.

"No, they moved away a few months after their daughter's disappearance. There were some rumors that they had something to do with it themselves. I guess they needed to start over somewhere. No one knew where they moved to."

Susannah had never been one to let a door shutting in her face stop her. She would just go around and look for another entrance. She went to tell Viki that she would be going out of town for a few days.

TO BE CONTINUED

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