PREVIOUSLY

“Does that mean that maybe I can look forward to a few more coffee breaks with you, Delgado?” asked Todd lightly, not wanting her to know how much her answer meant to him.

She stopped at the gate and called the guard. Glancing over her shoulder, she couldn’t help smiling at the man behind bars. “Sure. How could I resist seeing that look of total ecstasy when you open the coffee cup again, Todd?”

He grinned back. “Next time bring a cookie, too. The food in here sucks.”

“I don’t know,” she teased. “I’m not sure I’m willing to take our new truce that far.” She smiled again as she stepped through the gate.

“Just don’t bring any health food,” she heard him call as she walked away down the corridor. “I get tortured enough as it is.” She laughed out loud as she left with a new spring in her step.

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“Todd, come sit down,” coaxed Susannah as she looked at his back. Early on in their relationship, the psychiatrist had to get used to the fact that her patient liked to pace around the room during their sessions. Perennially restless, he hated reclining on a couch or sitting in an armchair, claiming the movement helped him think better. Things had only gotten worse since his incarceration. Susannah was surprised when Todd complied with her request and sat down in a chair facing her across the conference table. He rested his chin in his hands. “I have the feeling something is bothering you today,” she said.

“That’s pretty good, Susannah,” he said sarcastically. “Instead of just shrinking my head, now you can read my mind.”

“I can’t help you if you won’t share with me.”

“You’re imagining things. I’m messed up enough. Don’t invent problems that aren’t there. Are we done yet?”

“That’s a first. You want to cut our session short today? Usually you’ll do anything to stay out of your cell a little longer.” Todd looked down at the table.

“I’ve been in here a month today, Susannah,” he said quietly. The therapist noticed a sadness to his voice and wondered at the source.

“Doesn’t it make you feel good to know that you’ve completed a significant part of your sentence, Todd?” she asked.

He looked at her with pity. “No, it just reminds me that I’m going to have five times as much torture before they let me go.” He stood up abruptly, went to the door, and held his fist up to knock. He hesitated, staring at the door. Susannah waited patiently, saying nothing. After a long pause, he asked in a barely audible voice, “Have you seen Viki?”

“So that’s it,” thought Susannah. “Yes, matter of fact we had lunch just the other day.” Todd slowly turned around and leaned on the door.

He stared at her, obviously considering his next words carefully. “I’m guessing the subject of her jailbird brother never came up,” he said in an even voice.

“She asked how you were, Todd, she always does when I see her. But Viki knows I can’t talk about your therapy with her.”

“Oh yes, and Victoria Lord Carpenter would never be so rude as to pry,” he said bitterly.

“I’m sensing that you would like to see Viki,” said Susannah.

“She washed her hands of me, Susannah. She left me, just like all the rest.” He turned toward the door again.

“Wait a minute, Todd.” Susannah flipped through her neat notebook, seeking an entry. “You told me Viki said to call her,” she said, referring to her notes. “Have you?”

“Look, it’s not like she doesn’t know where I am! She’s been letting Kevvie plaster his personal dance of joy at my downfall all over the Banner. She could come if she wanted to, Susannah.”

The therapist sighed deeply. “Perhaps she’s waiting for a signal from you.” Todd stood rooted to his spot, looking confused. “This is a good time to bring up something I’ve been wanting to discuss with you. Can you sit down?” He approached the table, kicked a chair and plopped down in it with a scowl on his face.

“What?” Todd would never know why he had been able to open up to Susannah so readily when they had first met, although something in her had definitely reminded him of his beloved mother, Barbara Manning. Then there was her connection to his sister Viki. The loss of his sister’s love and guidance hurt Todd more than he would admit, even to himself, and Susannah helped fill the void for him a bit. He knew that someday he and his therapist would have to have it out regarding her sister Nora and what Todd had done to her during his one-man crime spree when he had broken out of prison many years before. But for now, he deeply appreciated her willingness not to judge him in any way.

Susannah took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking that Viki might really be a great help to you, since she also suffered abuse as a child. I think the time might be right to share your secret with her.”

“Are you crazy?” shouted Todd, shooting to his feet. “I don’t want to talk about that disgusting…I want to forget it! And I certainly can’t talk about it with Viki.”

“Todd,” said Susannah patiently, “you already admitted it on the stand during your kidnapping trial.”

“It was like play-acting to me then, Susannah. I could pretend it wasn’t real, just like all the alters. And now everyone thinks it is a lie, and that’s the way I want it.”

“It’s your secret to keep, Todd, but I really think telling Sam and Viki would be a positive step in discovering the whole story about why the Georgie Phillips murder set off such a chain reaction of psychotic behavior in you.”

“Not that again. I’ve told you I can’t remember anything else about that night…the night of my fourteenth birthday.”

“And I’ve told you that I’m convinced there is something more that you are repressing.” Susannah looked at her watch. “At least consider calling Viki and asking her to see you. I can tell how much you’re missing her.” Her patient remained with his eyes on the table. “I’ve got a staff meeting and I have to run. I can come back later if you want me to.” He looked up at her with wide, frightened eyes.

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” he asked with a catch in his voice.

“Todd, this is just one of those times when you need to trust in the people who love you. You hurt Viki, and you are going to have to take the first step in healing your relationship.” She knocked on the door and the guard opened for her. She glanced back at her patient, who was staring into space. “Good luck,” she said as she walked out the door.

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Todd sat on his bunk and flipped through the Sun. Having an unquenchable interest in the publishing business and plenty of time on his hands, he read three or four newspapers every day. He threw the Sun aside and picked up the front section of the Banner. Scanning the front page, he flipped to the back to continue an article. His eyes grew wide as he stared at the page. There, in black and white, was a photo of his sister Viki receiving a plaque from the Llanview University School of Journalism. After a long while, he reached up and dashed away a tear. Getting to his feet, he paced back and forth in the small confines of the cell, glancing from time to time at the photo on the bed and running his fingers through his hair. Reaching a decision, he took a deep breath and stepped to the side of the cell closest to the entrance to the cellblock. “Bill, can you come in here?” he called through the barred gate.

“What is it, Todd?” asked Doyle as he unlocked the barrier and faced the prisoner.

Todd bit his lip. “I…uh….I need a favor.” Doyle looked wary, but Todd continued. “I need to make a phone call.”

“You’ve already had your three calls this week,” said the guard somewhat sympathetically.

“Yeah, but I was hoping that maybe you could sort of forget one of them. Or, I could give up one of my calls next week.” Doyle stood staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

“I can only make an exception in the case of an emergency,” he said evenly.

“It is an emergency,” said Todd. “If I don’t make this call right now I’ll lose my nerve.” The policeman considered him for a moment longer, then walked around the corner and unlocked the cell.

“Don’t make a habit of this, Todd,” he warned.

“I won’t, Bill. Thanks.” Todd followed the guard out to the corridor and stepped to the pay phone. Using the quarter Doyle gave him, he dialed in the private number for Viki’s office at the Banner. Her assistant picked up and informed him that Mrs. Carpenter was not taking calls at the moment.

“Look, she has to take this one. Tell her….tell her it’s her brother,” he said in a shaky voice. As he listened to the cloying hold music, he leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Suddenly his sister was on the line.

“Todd?” she asked in a steady voice, “I’m glad you called.”

“And….and I’m glad you answered,” he managed to choke out. He took a deep breath before he lost his nerve. “Look, Viki, I was wondering….hoping that maybe you could come by to see me sometime. No hurry or anything, just whenever you have time.”

“Of course, Todd. I’ll be right down. Can I bring you anything? Reading materials? A special food you’re craving?”

Todd leaned against the wall in relief. “No, just bring yourself Viki. Susannah wants me to tell you something, and you know, it’s not the kind of thing you can say over the phone.”

“I understand. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” Viki hung up. Todd stood staring at the phone.

“No, Viki, you don’t understand at all,” he said, blinking back tears.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..............................................................................................................................................................

“That was quick,” said Todd stepping into the small visiting room. “All this time and suddenly you can’t wait to see your baby brother paying for his sins.” A hint of a grin played along his lips.

“I’m happy to see you, too,” said Viki, flashing a 100-watt smile. She gave her brother the quick once over as he approached the table. He looked too pale and too thin, but his shirt was buttoned up neatly and tucked into his pants. His hair even showed signs of recent contact with a brush. Guessing that he had cleaned up for her, she blinked back a tear. She avoided looking at the handcuffs, as the sight of her proud brother in chains was almost more than she could bear. Officer Doyle pulled out a chair and Todd sat down opposite Viki, resting his hands on the table. As the policeman turned to go, Viki asked, “Officer, could you please remove the restraints from my brother?”

Doyle hesitated. “I’ll need to get special permission, Ma’am,” he said uncertainly.

“I’m sure it will be all right with Commissioner Buchanan,” said Viki smiling brightly at the policeman. “He and I are very close. I was married to his brother for many years and my children are his niece and nephews.” The policeman stared for a minute at the attractive, elegant woman, then shrugged his shoulders and released Todd from the handcuffs. “Thank you so much,” beamed Viki. “I’m so grateful Todd has someone kind taking care of him.” Doyle grinned stupidly, retreating as Todd rolled his eyes.

A long moment passed as Todd and Viki stared across the table at each other. Bit by bit, Todd’s eyes filled up with tears. “I thought you were through with me, Viki. Why did you come after everything I’ve done to hurt you?”

“Simple, Todd. I told you to call if you needed anything. Well, I’ve been waiting and hoping that you would need me.”

Todd looked away. “I don’t deserve your help, Viki. You should just leave me to rot.”

“That’s nonsense. I’m so proud of the way you’ve taken responsibility for your actions. And you’re working so hard on your therapy with Susannah. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of you and how much you must be suffering.” Viki paused, watching her brother closely. “I was surprised when I heard you had pleaded guilty. Your actions in the past had led me to believe there was nothing you wouldn’t do to stay out of jail.”

Todd shrugged. “Don’t you think I deserve it?”

“I suspect maybe you think you deserve it, Todd.”

“Still analyzing me, huh Viki?” he said in good humor. “Well you can quit now. I’ve got a therapist to do that these days.”

“Yes, Susannah,” said Viki quietly. Something in the quality of her voice sounded strange.

“You’re not jealous of Susannah, are you?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“No!” she said quickly. She looked at his face and saw that he was looking at her sharply. “OK, I’m jealous that she is able to help you and I couldn’t.”

“It isn’t your fault. You did your best for me and I repaid you by hurting you.” Viki looked away, feeling sad. Taking a deep breath Todd asked, “Do you think you could ever trust me again? Can you believe me if I tell you something?”

“It will be hard, but I’ll try.” She looked closely at her brother. “What is it, Todd? What is it you want to tell me?” Todd suddenly lurched to his feet and stood facing the corner like a schoolboy. He looked at his feet.

“I can’t,” he said in a choked voice. “You’ll be disgusted.” A little warning light was going off in Viki’s head, and all the color drained from her face. She stood and walked over to her brother, standing near, but not touching him.

“I’ve stood by you when you’ve done some awful things, Todd, and you’ve never disgusted me. Even when you broke my heart, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t forget you. Now that you’re finally working on your problems and trying to make amends for the pain you’ve caused, there is no power on earth that will drive me away.”

“But this power isn’t on earth, it’s in Hell,” he said bitterly. He crossed his arms and hugged himself. He swallowed hard. “I’ve told a lot of lies, Viki, but I wasn’t lying about how my father…how Peter hurt me,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Yes, I’m quite aware of how abusive he was to you.”

“No, you don’t understand,” said Todd, fighting back tears. “He…hurt me…that way.” He sobbed and turned away. Viki stepped back, closing her eyes tightly against the sudden tears. Slowly, she brought her hands up to her mouth.

“I knew it!” she gasped, wiping at her face. “Somehow I knew that wasn’t a lie.”

Staring at the wall, he sobbed out, “All that stuff I said at the trial about my fourteenth birthday, it was the truth. After burning me and beating the crap out of me, he…he whacked me in the head with a paperweight, he held me down, and then he….he.” Choking on his tears, he began to bang his head against the wall. Viki moved close, tears streaming down her face. She reached out and gently turned Todd toward her.

“I believe you,” she whispered, “and I’m so, so sorry, Todd.” Suddenly, he crushed her to him and wept into her shoulder as though his heart would break. Viki just held him for a long time, softly stroking his back as he was wracked with sobs. Finally, she helped him to sit on the edge of the table. She pulled some tissues out of her handbag and wiped at his tears. As he became calmer, she sat on the table next to him. “I know what it is like, Todd, to be violated in that way. All along, I saw so much of myself in you. I would do anything to wipe it away, but I can’t.” She reached out and stroked his hair. “Todd, why did you let them put you in jail when you aren’t guilty? What you said on the stand wasn’t a lie.” He sniffed deeply.

“Some of it was, Viki, and…and I don’t want anyone to know about this. You and Susannah know, and that’s enough.”

“So you forfeited six months of your life to keep Peter Manning’s secret?” She jumped to her feet in anger. “The man’s abuse continues from the grave!” Facing her brother she said, “You have to tell Sam.”

“I can’t. He blames himself for not helping me when I was a kid. You should have seen the look of relief on his face when I told him it was all a lie.”

“But he can help you! Surely the judge…”

“No! It’s over! No more judges, no more trials. I miss Shorty, but I’ll get through this, especially now that you’re with me again, Viki. It means everything to me.” Viki caressed his chin, looking deep into his swollen eyes.

“I am with you all the way, and nothing you can do will ever drive me away again. But you need to tell Sam, trial or no trial. He deserves to know the truth.”

“It will kill him.”

“No, he’ll blame himself and be miserable for a while, but he’ll come to realize that Peter Manning is the only one who deserves contempt.” Viki sat on the table next to him again. “Have you thought of telling Téa?” she asked quietly.

“Why would I do that when our marriage is over?” he asked in a tired voice.

“Because she still loves you and you love her.” Todd snorted and Viki looked at him sharply. “Lies ended your marriage, but maybe the truth can make a new beginning.”

“I can’t think about it anymore. It hurts too much.” His voice was barely audible. His sister recognized that he was at the end of his rope.

“Shhhhhh, it will be all right, Todd, I promise,” she murmured, cradling him in her arms. He slowly lowered his head so it was resting on her shoulder.

And that is how Officer Doyle found them when he opened the door a few minutes later.

TO BE CONTINUED

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