PREVIOUSLY

Tea: Me. What does Pete want?

Todd: (Looks down again.) To be me. He said on that stupid tape he's damn good at being somebody else. (Struggling:) You all bought it, you all thought.... (losing his words:) he's not....

Tea: (Quietly:) You.

Todd: (With difficulty:) He's not.

Tea: You can't ignore him. Even you said he's part of you.

Todd: (Looks at her:) A very ugly, angry part of me. He's not the only one inside my head like that.

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Tea: Who raped Marty?

Todd: (Very upset, ashamed:) Me. Todd.

Tea: Why did you never say goodbye to me when you left?

Todd: (Pause. Tries to steady his breathing, breathing through his mouth a few times. A small groan of anguish:) Ohh... I couldn't. I couldn't, if I had I would never have been able to leave you. I would have fallen completely apart and you didn't want me -- y-you needed space from me, you didn't need me crowding around you. (Pauses. Intensely:) All I wanted was to be with you. (Tears, but held back. Works to steady his breathing. Quietly:) Do you remember what I said the night of the opera? What I wanted to do? What I wanted to say to you? How I wanted to just be able to bare my heart to you then! It's not that easy..... How I wanted so much to just hold you until you stopped trembling.... To make love to you. (Nodding:) I remember what Rod said, I heard him.... I love you, Tea. I've always loved you. (Pauses. Quietly again, smiles ruefully a moment, looks at her:) Brave new world, huh? Same old same old.... Why do you believe me now?

Tea: (Sighs. A little calmer:) I guess because you've been trying so hard to reach out, even while protecting yourself --

Todd: (Quietly, understanding:) -- You do.....

Tea: -- I see that now -- I do, yes..... and.... you've been so .... fragile.

Todd: (Defensive:) I am not fragile!

Tea: You have been recently.

Todd: I am not fragile! I'm strong, and-and-and -- (wavering)

Tea: (Calmly confident:) You wouldn't be here if you weren't strong, but these last several months have been a nightmare of their own, on top of your recent nightmares..... (Reaches her hand toward him tentatively.)

Todd: (Recoils, withdrawing away from her.)

Tea: (Sees his response and withdraws her hand.) I don't dare touch you right now. I want to.

Todd: No. Too raw. (Draws his body into itself slightly. Pause. Quietly:) I'd bleed to death without you....

Tea: (Sadly, gently:) I wish I could comfort you.

Todd: (Sadly:) You can't. I have to learn to comfort myself. (Hugs himself tightly, looking miserable.)

Tea: (Quietly:) Sometimes you need someone else's comfort, too.

Todd: (Thinks, looks at her, then quietly:) Do you know what I did the night of our wedding, after Sam took you away?

Tea: (Quietly:) No.

Todd: (Quietly, sinking into a reverie as he speaks:) I walked back in there, shut the door, sat on the floor ....... and put the puzzle together.

Tea: (Alarmed:) In the fire?!

Todd: (Staring into space, seeing the burning cabana again [flashback]:) I was confused, alright? The puzzle was all over the floor by the little table thing, you know? I sat there in that burning room and I wanted to die. If you were dead, I was dead. If you couldn't stand to look at me anymore, I was dead. I was a zombie.... in shock. I put the puzzle together on the floor next to me. I'd kept the heart piece safe in my pocket, safe even from you. That very nearly cost you your life. I started trying to think my way out of it.

Tea: You had the piece the whole time?!

Todd: (Still in the reverie, not looking at her:) Yeah. I kept it safe even from you, and.... and I love you with all of it. Maybe if I had trusted you more? I couldn't let you in. I learned my lesson well that night, but I was shutting down. I didn't even really notice the fire, or how hot the room must have been. All I felt was I'd lost you for good and I was alone, and nothing really mattered anymore. I went in there and I wanted to die at first.

Tea: (A little stunned:) I hadn't known.

Todd: (Still speaking quietly:) No one knew. No one cared. I no longer cared. I felt so lost..... (looks lost again and very very sad, looking off into space, seems completely alone, still hugging himself.)

Tea: (Quietly:) Todd? You're not alone anymore.

Todd: (Quietly:) Yeah, I am. More than you can know. Even with five of us in my head. (Gives a brief, weak smile, not much more than almost a grimace.)

Tea: (Gently:) What brought you out of there?

Todd: (Takes a breath, and looks at her.) I found your ring. I don't know how. I knew you were alive when Sam took you away from me. You'd looked at me when I was still holding you and willing you to live, calling your name, but you didn't seem to want to see me. I wrote you that letter and stuff, and gave them to you in the hospital.

Tea: I didn't see you.

Todd: You were asleep. They had that mask thing on your face to help you breathe, but even still, you were so beautiful while you slept it broke my heart all over again to think I'd lost you. I put the ring on your finger, being so careful not to wake you, and watching you sleep as I put it on you. I watched you from the door tear the cheque up and keep the letter.

Tea: You watched me?

Todd: (Inclines his head slightly downward, regards her cautiously from under his brows.) I didn't want you to see me. I had to see your answer.

Tea: I'd've killed you.

Todd: (Looks her in the eyes, searching them intently. Evenly:) I was already dead.

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: A little while later, after things have calmed down somewhat. ]

Tea: (Looks away from him.) Look, I'm sorry.... I'm sorry....

Todd: (Tries to catch her eyes again.) Why?

Tea: (Looks away still.) I was testing you.

Todd: (Takes her face in his hand and guides her to look at him.) Why be sorry? (Shrugs.) I test people all the time.

Tea: (Turns away again.) I nearly tested you to destruction today. (Looks at him.) I apologize for that.

Todd: (Shrugs, affected by this, trying to appear casual.) I've done worse.

Tea: (Contrite:) But you didn't need or expect that from me right now.

Todd: (Looking almost angelic:) Why? Now I know where I stand with you, and how you feel towards me. At least I think I do.

Tea: (Searches his eyes.) Where do you stand with me?

Todd: (Holds her gaze.) You -- you love me. (Touched, his eyes moist again. Holds her chin, strokes her hair gently.) Your eyes don't lie.

Tea: I'm pretty sure now that you love me. Even if you can't show me directly.

Todd: (Quietly nods slightly. Quietly:) Yes. (Rests his hands on her shoulders.)

Tea: (Places her hand against his neck and cheek carefully.) I see how hard you're working to be able to do that.

Todd: (Seems uncomfortable.) But can we take it slow? I think you know by now I need to take things very slowly, at my own pace, in my own time.

Tea: Yes.

Todd: I don't do anything I don't want to do.

Tea: (Smiles at him:) You're very stubborn that way.

Todd: (Wary:) There's a risk in that if lose control, or I get angry, though. If you let me lead things, I mean.

Tea: I know you think so. I don't think you'll hurt me.

Todd: (Firm:) I can't risk someone else taking it over, it has to be at my own pace, or I panic and something bad happens. Something terrible could happen. I mean you, not Pete. I have to do this, not you. (Quietly:) I can't hurt you again.

Tea: (Looks in his eyes:) We will face it together, ok? Everything. I see I've pushed you too hard too often and in the wrong ways and I've hurt you, sometimes badly, in the process.

Todd: (Squirms. On edge:) Don't..... (Moves away from her.) [He turns towards the camera, so she is framed behind his shoulder and his face is visible.]

Tea: No, Todd, I have to say this.

Todd: (Squeezes his eyes tightly closed a moment, composes himself. Turns to her.) [Camera frames them from the side, towards the door.] Why? I've hurt you so much worse.

Tea: I'm no angel, Todd, and you know it. I'm not your saviour, you are. All I can do is love and support you. I've done my share of hurting you, and doubting you, and being cruel. Remember what I did with Andrew? I was the one who goaded you into that awful punch, too. I was the one who hit you with that stupid shovel and held that flame in front of your face.

Todd: (Speechless, but almost unable to contain his emotions, he looks stricken and panicked, almost trapped.)

Tea: (Observing his reaction, but not wanting to push.) We need to talk about that soon.

Todd: (Pause. Crosses to the couch and sits down. Quietly he begins:) I screamed my lungs out....pounded the lounge chair so I wouldn't cry and 'cos I was so mad at myself for breaking my vow not to ever hurt another woman. At least I didn't rape you. (Pauses, catches his breath.) I couldn't believe I'd hit you, lost control like that. I could've killed you, it was so hard. I almost couldn't stop myself from crying, I felt so bad. I knew if I started, I wouldn't stop. (Stops. His face contorting a moment as he struggles for composure. He dissembles briefly:) I had to stay in control and get out of that mess somehow. I was so out of control, stressed well beyond my limits. You know me, I don't cry over anything. (Pauses, trying not to choke on rising sobs, trying to quiet them. Tries get his breathing steadied. Almost to himself:) This wasn't just any old thing. (Almost a whisper, intensely, looking in her eyes from across the room:) This was YOU* .... and I'd just hit you, like my Dad would hit my Mom. (Pauses, tries to steady his breathing, nostrils flaring.)

Tea: (Crosses to stand in front of him, looks down at him.) He did?

Todd: (Looks up at her. Remarkably calmly:) All the time, until she finally ran out on us and left me alone with him.

Tea: (Sad:) I'm sorry.

Todd: (As evenly as he can:) You knew about this, Tea.

Tea: My knowing doesn't make it better, Querido.

Todd: No. (Casually:) It worked. He drove her away. At the time I sort of didn't understand how it works, but over the years I've realized just what he did. I learned to do it, too. He taught me well.

Tea: (Pauses, then:) That shovel blow in the shed could have, should have* killed you. I was so angry at you for punching me and then tying me up when you didn't know my medical status and had already kidnapped me. Then you offered me the strawberries you'd gone out to pick?? Kisses?? You¹ve got a hard head in more ways than one, Manning.

Todd: (A bit stronger:) I didn't know what to do. I'd hit you, punched the woman I love more than my own life, hard enough to knock you unconscious. There you were, lying out on the floor. (Starts to lose control, shaking.) I'm so sorry! I thought I'd killed you. (Puts his face in his hands on his knees and cries. He remains this way until he regains enough of himself to sit up again and show her his face, his eyes still closed, his hair in his face. He hugs himself tightly, staring into space, as if trying to contain his emotions this way, his face contorted briefly.)

Tea: Todd? (Sits on the couch. Pauses while she waits for him.) Todd?

Todd: What? (Still looking into space, not at Tea, his voice controlled and bland.)

Tea: (Moves the hair carefully off his face, he doesn't flinch away, and behind his ear as she talks to him quietly:) What we both did was so wrong that day in the shed, what I said to you in the car. I should never have badgered you like that, it was unspeakably cruel. I was angry at you. I was frightened. I hadn't slept in days. I'm sorry. I should have seen that something was terribly wrong with you, but I didn't realize you were in such bad shape as far back as Niagra Falls. I don't know exactly what set you off originally, but it was big. I guess it was seeing Georgie's body and all that blood the night you proposed to me. You weren't exactly forthcoming.

Todd: (He slowly turns his head to look in her eyes as she talks to him, seems to struggle to orient and remain focused, his expression vulnerable. Quietly, strained:) I'm losing-it, Delgado.....

Tea: (A look of concern flashes across her face briefly. Continues, stroking his cheek:) I need to say this, ok? We were both out of control in the shed.

Todd: (Pauses. Nods, struggling, nostrils flaring as he breathes. Keeps his eyes locked with hers)

Tea: It only got worse. You took us all hostage, and then you didn't sleep for days. I was angry that you had taken all of us hostage and then dragged me to that shed, but even still I have no excuse for beating on a mentally unstable, very stressed-out man with one of his worst, most hotbutton fears and one of the things he carves himself up for the worst inside. To demand that you rape me, like you did Marty?? What the hell was I thinking?! Knowing from the reports how brutal that was?? Well, I was thinking things couldn't get any worse. To threaten to burn you, and to toy with your open fear about that?! I even triggered memories of your abuse!

Todd: (Having great difficulty now:) You didn't know. Not your fault. I never told you. (His voice cracks.)

Tea: God, was that cruel! I regretted that one immediately when I saw how badly it affected you and you told me finally that Peter used to do that to you. I'm so sorry. I should not have done those things. I can't believe I did that, and to you. And then, and then, I turned you in. Not for help, but to the police! How betrayed and angry you were, and rightfully so. I didn't stand by you and get you help, and you had asked for my help, saying if I loved you I should help you. Instead, I tried to get you convicted and sent --

Todd: Stop!! Stop it!! I just wanted it to stop! (Begins crying in earnest, breaking down, burying his face again as before. Sobbing, drawing up his knees to his chest and hugging himself, crying into his knees:) I didn't mean to do it! I didn't mean to hit you! I couldn't stop! (He is nearly hysterical.)

Tea: (Wraps an arm across his back and rests her head on his shoulder.)

Todd: (Leans his head against hers and keeps crying.)

Tea: (Reaches around and holds his face, a protective gesture.)

[Camera pans back to show them huddled together. Todd's sobbing is quite audible and can be heard and seen for about 30 seconds before the scene change.]

[Scene ends]

TO BE CONTINUED