TRIALS OF THE HEART - PART ONE

The temperature was predicted to reach the high 90's that day, with the humidity not far behind. The park and pool surrounding the community center in East Llanview were filled with screaming children and sweating adults making use of every square inch of available shade. The shaved ice vendor was doing a brisk business and the air was filled with a Latin beat from a music store across Esperanza Street. A tall, striking woman made her unhurried way toward the swings with her little girl. Heads turned and conversation turned to whispers as they passed by.

They were not Angel Square people, that was easy to see. Whether it was the long blonde hair, or the expensive clothes, who could say? But something about them was hard to ignore.
"Mommy, can I go play on the swings? I see Paco there! He colors with me when Daddy brings me to play group!"
A fleeting look of pain appeared on the woman's face at the girl's mention of her father. "Of course, Sweetie. You go play. Mommy will be right here, so don't go anywhere I can't see you."
The blonde watched her daughter scamper over to the other children, then slowly sat down on a bench, fanning herself with the file of papers she had brought. Her daughter clambered up the monkey bars, giggling. "She's so happy," thought Blair. "At least Todd hasn't messed that up--yet." Her brow darkened again at the thought of her ex. "But how long will Starr stay happy when she finds out about her Daddy?" Her jaw clenched. "Oh, Todd, I could just strangle you!" she said aloud in a strained voice. On the next bench, two heavyset women stared at her and whispered in Spanish. Embarrassed, Blair opened the file with THE SUN logo, took another glance at Starr, and buried her face behind the folder.

Blair tried to concentrate on the editing. She had so much to do since she became acting publisher of the newspaper. It was hard to find the time to take a break with Starr in the park. But she wasn't about to take her time with her daughter for granted. She had spent too many months waiting for her chance at just this: a normal life with her little girl. Sure, Todd had relented a bit in the last months, letting her have more time with the child. But it wasn't the same as having full custody as she did now. Part of her wondered how Todd managed to find the time for Starr with everything else he'd been up to. Well, obviously it took a toll, because something must have caused him to snap.

The file folder slowly dropped to her lap. Blair adjusted her sunglasses and looked toward Starr again. She was now on a molded horse attached to the sandbox with a spring, and she screeched happily as she rocked back and forth. But her mother didn't notice her joy; she almost didn't even see her. Her mind was filled with thoughts of the man who had entered her life like a raging storm years before, and had trapped her in a cyclone of tangled emotions ever since. "He's a murderer," she told herself. "He bashed Georgie's skull in with a baseball bat. He's right where he belongs--locked up like the animal he is." Blair let out a long sigh, slowly closed the file and leaned forward with her elbow on her knee. She supported her chin in her hand and again furrowed her brow. "It's no use," she thought. "I just can't believe he did it, no matter how hard I try."

Blair sat up purposefully and blinked in the direction of Starr. "This is no good," she thought. "I can't afford to be thinking this way. I finally have everything I ever wanted, and sentimentality about Todd Manning is just plain stupid." She flung open the file again, taking satisfaction in the title "Publisher" stamped on the top memo. Todd had fought it tooth and nail, but he had agreed in the end. He had to appoint someone to run the paper while he was unable to, and Blair was the obvious choice. She was the only one he could trust to keep the paper strong for Starr's future. Blair tried to ignore the tightening around her heart that she felt when she thought of the pain it must have caused Todd to sign away the running of the Sun to her. After Starr, the Sun was the most important thing in his life. Blair's eyes locked on Starr, now swinging with her stomach over the seat and her legs kicking behind her. "What must it have been like for Todd when they told him about the decision in the custody hearing?" She jumped to her feet, dumping the file. She held her stomach, fighting down the nausea.

"Blair? Are you all right? What's the matter?" Blair reeled unsteadily, and looked around herself, blinking stupidly. Tea reached out a hand to steady her. "Blair!" she shouted with urgency in her voice. "Here, sit down before you fall down." Tea slowly helped Blair back onto the bench, then sat down beside her. She bent over to gather the fallen papers and put them back in the file folder. As she handed it to Blair, she noticed her shallow breathing, and the sheen of sweat covering her face. "You've got heat exhaustion!"

Tea stopped a boy running by on the path and shoved a dollar bill in his hand. "Enrique, vaya a comprar un agua. Rápido!" As the boy ran off in another direction, Tea spotted Starr perched at the top of the slide.
"Tee!" she shouted. "Watch me!" Tea waved as the little girl slid down the yellow plastic slide and ran around to climb the ladder again. Enrique returned with an ice cold bottle of water, and Tea cracked the top open.
"Here. Drink this," she said as she handed it to Blair. Blair took a couple of sips, then leaned over and put her head on her knees, oblivious to the stares of the surrounding people. Finally, she raised her head and removed a paper tissue from her handbag. She patted her neck and forehead.
"I'm all right now," she told the curious handful of people. She took the water bottle and drank deeply, then fixed her eyes on her savior. "Thanks, Tea," she said. "I guess it was hotter than I thought." Something about the haunted look in her rival's eyes made Tea wonder if Blair was telling the whole truth.
"Why are you here, Blair?" asked Tea. "Llanview Central Park is just 2 blocks from the Sun offices. Why come all the way across town to Angel Square?" Blair snorted derisively.
"Can't you guess, Tea? We're here because no one knows us, and there's less chance of Starr finding out that her low-life father is locked up in jail." Tea opened her mouth, then closed it quickly, thinking better of the hot retort she had planned to make. She looked toward the little girl now making at least her twentieth trip down the slide.
"How is Starr doing?" she asked quietly.
"She's doing great, no thanks to Todd," answered Blair. "She loves Dorian's house. She spends hours in the pool. I still take her to daycare at the Sun, and Jessica has been taking her to the play group over here at the community center."
"What did you tell her?" "Well I couldn't break her heart by telling her Daddy was in jail, so I said he was away for a while. She keeps asking when he's coming back, though, and I guess I'll have to tell her something soon."
Tea chuckled coldly and slowly shook her head. "Do you expect me to believe your Aunt Dorian hasn't taken every opportunity to indoctrinate Starr against her father? She's probably told her he's a monster with fangs!"
"No!" shouted Blair. "I won't allow that, and Dorian knows it. Starr loves her father and I won't have Dorian or anyone else ruining her image of him. Besides, Dorian knows that the bottom line is what is good for Starr. She agrees that we should keep it from her as long as possible." Blair studied Tea's profile as she watched Starr playing and noticed the hint of tears in the large, dark eyes. She turned away and took another swig of the water. Suppressing a shudder, she took a deep breath to steady herself. In a soft voice she muttered, "How did Todd take it? The.....the......custody decision, I mean."

Tea quickly wiped her eyes and turned toward the other woman. "How do you think, Blair? You know him. If Sam hadn't been there to restrain him, I think Todd might have bashed his brains out on the cement wall." Blair flinched and turned her back on Tea.
"What else could I do, Tea? He's been denied bail, and he can't take care of Starr from behind bars. You've been in and out of the penthouse so much Starr doesn't know what end is up. She needs a stable, steady living arrangement, and obviously the judge agreed. It's bad enough Starr will have to live her life knowing her father is a murderer......."
"He didn't do it, Blair! And he hasn't been convicted of anything! Couldn't you have asked for temporary guardianship and waited for the outcome of the trial?" Tea leaned forward and covered her eyes with her hands. "Todd really didn't need any more heartache right now."
Blair shifted her weight. "But that hostage incident...."
"That's an exaggeration! I wouldn't call it a hostage situation, Blair! Todd was a little out of control......."
"Is that the spin you're going to put on it, Counselor?" Blair tossed her hair and fixed Tea with an icy stare. "You try being locked in a cellar for days with nothing but Gummi Bears to eat! And when you finally get out, you come face to face with Todd and a bundle of dynamite!"
"It was fake......"
"We didn't know that! And he was threatening to blow himself and half of Llanview to kingdom come! I really thought he would do it! And all it did was to make him look guiltier. I'll never figure that man out!"
"He was trying to get a confession," said Tea weakly.
"A confession? He really thought that stunt would flush out the killer? As Bo and Drew went over the events of the night, it became more and more clear that the killer had to be Todd!"
"Don't you see, Blair? It was a cry for help. He was desperate, and when he's desperate, he loses control. Deep down, you know the Buchanans have framed him for the murder. I think in his own sick way, Todd thought that threatening them was his only way out. But of course, he is his own worst enemy and he made himself look even more guilty......" Tea's face was streaked with tears and discharge from her nose. She wiped at it furiously with her hands, then got to her feet. "I've got to go," she announced.

"Wait!" said Blair, holding up her hand. "You really think Todd is innocent of Georgie's murder? What about the gloves I found in his office? The Gas n Sip receipt? The fact he knew where the bat was?"
"It's a long, convoluted story, Blair, and it will all come out in the trial. Suffice it to say that once again, Todd did some really stupid things in the name of revenge and getting even. But he didn't kill Georgie. You can count on that."
Blair looked at the ground. "So Todd is in a really bad way?" she asked quietly. "He's going to fight the charges, isn't he?"
Tea sniffed and rubbed at her nose. "I don't know if he has the strength anymore, Blair. He thinks he's lost everything. This thing with Starr's custody was the final blow. Sam and I were just wondering if the kindest thing wouldn't be to get the best deal we can out of Hank. Todd needs this to be over."
"But you just said he didn't do it!" shouted Blair. "You can't just let him go off to Statesville for a crime he didn't commit!" Blair shook her head. "And you claim to love him..."
"I do love him, Blair! I love him enough to do almost anything to get him off, but I can't do it alone. If he won't fight for himself, then there's nothing I, or even Sam, can do for him. He's decided there is no way he can get a fair trial, so he's given up." Tea sat down on the bench, once again dissolved in tears. "He won't last a year in there. He's said many times he'll take his own life before he lets them put him back in prison..."

Blair stared straight ahead and let a tear trickle down her own cheek. "Doesn't he care about Starr? He's willing to let her live her life with that hanging over her head?"
"He thinks Starr is already lost to him. He's convinced that she's better off with him out of the picture. If he's dead, she won't have to live with the shame of a father in prison."
"Starr loves him, and she'll love him no matter what! She's a Cramer. She's strong. She can handle anything! But it's unfair to make her go through life thinking her father is a murderer if he isn't! Can't he understand that?" asked Blair heatedly.
Tea wiped away some tears and looked at Blair curiously. "That's not the reaction I expected from you, Blair. I thought you believe Todd is guilty. This is your big chance--what you've always wanted. Todd will be out of Starr's life for good. Why do you care if he did it or not?"
Blair walked a few steps away and spoke with her back toward the other woman. She glanced toward Starr. In a barely audible murmur she answered, "I don't know." She whipped around. "I don't know!" she shouted at Tea. "All I know is that I don't want Starr to have to grow up without a father like I did! I can't even enjoy having her in my life, because every time I look at her I think of the pain it'll cause her when I have to tell her Daddy isn't coming back! If there's a chance he didn't do it, that he could be cleared, well......." Blair eyed Tea, still sitting on the bench. "You're the lawyer. Is his case hopeless?"

"The case comes down to circumstantial evidence, like the gloves in his office. He has an explanation for everything. You heard it up at the lodge. But clearing him means getting a jury to believe him, and there's the problem. The Banner is polluting the jury pool with their constant articles, and yes, I know Todd did the same when Bo was in the hot seat. The prosecution will bring up his record, and put squeaky clean Bo and Nora on the stand to talk about how awful big, bad Todd is. And I'm not even sure we can put Todd on the stand. In the state he's in, he's liable to lose his temper and blow the whole thing. Our only chance is for him to put on an Oscar caliber performance, and he's just not up to it now. He alternates between rage and an almost catatonic state."

"So you're just going to let him give up?" snorted Blair in disgust. "Remind me never to hire you as my attorney!" Tea glared at her through her wet eyes. Blair sighed and looked up purposefully. "Look, Tea, you've got to make him fight these charges for Starr's sake! Get him to realize that she needs him. I'm not vindictive." She ignored Tea's snort and continued. "I'll let him see her sometimes, as long as I retain custody, for her sake. She loves him, and I don't want to break her heart."

"You're so generous, Blair," said Tea sarcastically. "But the bottom line is, he isn't listening to me anymore. It's like he's shutting down and cutting everything that is important to him out of his life. Sam can't reach him. He ignores Viki. And me, well, I'm just nothing more than his annoying attorney now...." More tears poured down Tea's face.
Blair took a deep breath. "What about Starr? Surely he wouldn't turn away from her?"
Tea whipped around. "Blair! He's in jail! Locked up! Behind bars! He's in an even nastier mood than usual. You can't be suggesting that you'd take Starr there! She'd be marked for life! You might as well reserve a therapist's couch for her now!"
Blair sneered at her rival. "That isn't what I was suggesting, Tea. You're really slow today." Blair sat down again on the bench and turned toward Tea with an intent look on her face. "Starr has been to the police station before with her pre-school group. Surely there's an interrogation room or an office they'd let us use. We'll make up a story about why Todd is there, and she'll never be the wiser."
"Bo will never allow it. He's made it his personal goal to make Todd's life as miserable as possible. Sam and I get to see him because we're his attorneys. Viki uses her clout to get in, but he's allowed no other visitors." Tea snorted. "Bo says Todd might get too "agitated" and hurt himself or others. He gives the same reason for withholding the newspapers, but I think he's just being mean. Todd's down there all alone with nothing but a little book of meditations and some old comic books. I keep having to bring him new snapshots of Starr, because the guards keep confiscating them as "contraband".

Blair shook her head. "He must be going out of his mind....."
Tea laughed through her tears. "Poor choice of words!"
Blair smiled back coldly. "I can get Bo to agree to this. He's still separated from Nora, isn't he?" She grinned wickedly. "I have a way of getting what I want."
Tea threw up her hands. "More power to you, Blair. If you can get Bo to agree to a visit from Starr, I'm not about to question your methods. You'll pardon me if I'm a little skeptical." Blair picked up her file and her handbag.
"C'mon. Why wait? Let's go over to the police station now." She stopped with a sudden inspiration. "We'll drop by the Banner and run this by Viki. Maybe she'll use some of her clout with Bo to get him to lighten up long enough for Starr to see Todd." Blair started toward the play area, but Tea reached out a hand and held her back. She searched her face closely, as though looking for an answer.
"Blair, are you sure you're doing this just for Starr? Or is it that deep down inside, you know Todd could never do something so horrible as bashing a girl's brains in?" asked Tea quietly. "I think you still have feelings for Todd."
Blair called for Starr. As the little girl came trotting over, Blair turned to Tea. "What if I did? Would it make you jealous?" Tea shrugged her shoulders.
"I've hit a dead end. If you are willing to help Todd get out, then I'll learn to live with it."
"Get out of where?" asked Starr as she came running up.
"Never you mind, Sweetie. Would you like to go see Aunt Viki?" Blair grabbed her hand.
"Can Tee come too?" asked Starr looking at her stepmother.
A weak smile played along Blair's lips. "Sure. Let's go." Tea reached out and took Starr's offered hand. The two women set off across the park at a brisk pace, with the little girl swinging between them, holding each one by the hand.

TO BE CONTINUED