TODD'S NIGHTMARE - PART FOUR

PREVIOUSLY

Todd: (Leaning forward and getting in Blair's face.) Don't you breathe a word of this to anyone, Blair. Or I will take Starr for good.

Blair: You're that serious?

Todd: (Stares at her a moment longer. Quietly:) Deadly serious.

Blair: (Impressed, but not swayed.) He really hurt you.

Todd: (Slowly, quietly, intense:) Damn near killed me more than once. (Todd and Blair look at each other hard, him staring her down, her searching his eyes.)

[Scene ends.]

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[Next day:]

Sam: (Arrives at the Penthouse, knocks on door.)

Todd: (In livingroom, reluctantly stops reading his book, answers door.)

Sam: Hi, Boomer. (Noticing.) Jeez, you look like hell. Are you all right?

Todd: (Sarcastic.) Oh, great. Never better.

Sam: Tea says you're not sleeping well.

Todd: Oh, great! What else did she tell you?! (Starts pacing livingroom floor, looking a bit caged.)

Sam: Just that. (Follows him in, closing the Penthouse door.)

Todd: I thought you weren't speaking to me.

Sam: I wasn't for a long time, no. I didn't want anything to do with you. I love you, though, always have. I see a lot of good in you and I came back for you because I remembered that and how Peter Manning hurt you. I know I said I would stick by you and always love you, and I do. I, of all people, should know what he did to you and stick by you. I'm sorry.

Todd: I thought I'd lost everyone.

Sam: You had for a long time. You know what the worst loss has been?

Todd: What?

Sam: Yourself.

Todd: (Stops pacing and looks at Sam a moment. Resumes pacing:) Look, you're going to hear about this anyway, I'm sure. (Pauses and stops pacing a moment, facing Sam.) Nightmares.

Sam: (Concerned, but anticipating.) About what? Peter Manning?

Todd: Chasing me through that big house we had, down the upstairs hallway.

Sam: The long one?

Todd: (Nods. Pulls hair away from face and holds hair at the back of his head.) He was screaming at me, telling me I was worthless and weak and things. When he caught me he dragged me and beat me. He threw me into my room when he was done. I deserved it.

Sam: (Firmly:) You did NOT deserve what he did to you, Todd.

Todd: Yes, I did. I was bad. (Pacing. Hugging himself a bit. Hair loose.)

Sam: You weren't bad, Boomer.

Todd: Yes, I was. I am bad.

Sam: How old were you when this happened?

Todd: Shorty's age.

Sam: That's pretty little. (Pause. Watches Todd, who seems far away.) Why do you think you were bad?

Todd: (Snaps out of his trance to stare icily at Sam.) I don't want to talk about it anymore! (Stands in front of Sam, arms at sides now, angry, fists balled. Starts to pace again, avoiding eye contact with Sam. Running hands through hair agitatedly.)

Sam: (Blocking his retreat by standing in front of him.) Todd, listen to me.

Todd: (Turns his back on Sam. Looks very upset, struggles for composure.)

Sam: (Quietly, to Todd's back.) Peter Manning told you you were bad, I heard him say it many, many times. I stood up to him for you because he was wrong and you were a child who I cared a lot about. Peter was the bad one, not you.

Todd: (Looking upset and touched, still with his back to Sam.)

Sam: (Moves in front of Todd, so Todd has to look at him. Todd looks vulnerable.) Todd, I love you. You know that, right?

Todd: (Tries to hide his feelings.) SO?

Sam: You know you can trust me --

Todd: (Very angry:) To tell what my father did to me in court!

Sam: (Steady and calm.) To keep certain secrets for you until you're ready for them to be known. To take care of you and do my best NOW to protect you. You do know that, don't you?

Todd: (Touched. Grudgingly.) Yeah. (Unballs fists. Sticks hands in pockets. Pauses, watching Sam's face, his own face openly vulnerable.) Boomer?

Sam: (Watching Todd's face.) Yeah, Boomer?

Todd: Why do you care? About me, I mean?

Sam: I just do. You're worth caring about.

Todd: I'm not. Not really. I don't even care about me.

Sam: (Winces with concern at Todd.) Boomer. (Moves in close and holds Todd's face. Todd closes his eyes. Sam gathers Todd to him and holds him. Todd hugs him back tentatively, eyes still closed.)

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Mid-morning, two weeks later, at Llanfair:]

Todd: (Enters Viki's house unannounced and as he crosses to the 0livingroom to look for Viki, overhears her say:)

Viki: Yes, and that's what Blair says Todd told her, too, Sam.

Todd: (Stumbles in on them in Viki's livingroom. Standing in doorway, angrily.) What is this, "Let's All Talk About Poor Demented Todd Behind His Back Day"?

Viki: (Turns to Todd.) Hello to you, too, Todd. I wasn't expecting you.

Sam: Hi, Boomer.

Tea: Hi, Todd.

Todd: Will someone tell me what this is about? No, lemme guess: this really is a pity party about "Poor, Crazy Todd", isn't it?

Viki: No. Although we were discussing you. We were all comparing what you've told us about your recent nightmares.

Todd: (Defensive and angry.) I told you I don't want to talk about them!

Viki: You don't have to, we already did. (Grins at Todd. He snarls at her.) Can you sit and listen to what we've reconstructed?

Todd: No! (Wheels around and crosses to the foyer and the front door again.)

Viki: TODD!

Todd: (He seems to startle a little.) WHAT?! (Wheels around, walks a few steps back towards Viki, warily.)

Viki: (Comes to him in the foyer. Quietly:) You know --

Todd: (Angrily hissing:) I said, I don't want to talk about it!

Viki: Todd..... Look at me, Todd.

Todd: (Looks at Viki.) I'm looking. Now what?!

Viki: You don't have to talk about this if you're not ready, but sooner or later you're going to have to. I can see in your eyes that you're scared --

Todd: I'm NOT scared.

Viki: -- aaand that you feel ashamed about whatever this was about. (Watching his face.) Look at me, Todd. I can see that. You don't have to talk about it right now.

Todd: (Resigned but still defensive.) Fine. Can I go now?

Viki: Yes, you may. One more thing before you go.

Todd: (A little softened:) What?

Viki: (Moves closer to him and carefully holds him. He lays his head on her shoulder and hugs her back. When Viki tries to release him, he can't let her go yet, and we see them almost dance as he holds on and she relents and hugs him again. They seperate. She holds his face.) It's all right, you know. It's going to be all right, Todd.

Todd: Don't start with that. It isn't.

Viki: (Making him look at her.) I won't tell anyone.

Todd: Good. I don't want anyone to think I'm 'touchy-feely'. (Shudders.)

Viki: (She releases his face, chuckling.) Never. (Smiles at him.)

Todd: (He turns and exits from the front door, somewhat calmer.)

[Sam and Tea witness this whole scene from the doorway.]

Viki: Not a word. I think we need to let him come to us about these dreams on his own. He knows we know what happened, and I don't think he's ready to let anyone know what happened. I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks it was his fault because he thinks he was weak. (Sits on couch.)

Sam: He wasn't. He was just a tiny boy. Little boys aren't supposed to have to protect themselves from monsters like this.

Viki: Nor little girls.

Sam: (Shakes head.) No. I just wish I'd been able to stop this. I wish I'd known.

Viki: These things happen in secret, Sam.

Sam: (Morose and concerned.) Yes, I know. I just feel so guilty. Excuse me, I have to go make sure he's ok. (Exits through front door after Todd.)

Tea: I don't know what to do, Viki. I love him, and times like this are when I feel most tenderly towards Todd. And then he does something awful, or we argue, and I feel like I hate him all over again.

Viki: He's not very easy to be with, no. He reminds me of me sometimes.

Tea: No, he's not. He's hard to understand, then again he isn't very. One good thing is he's so unpredictable. One bad thing is he's so unpredictable. I never know what will set him off.

Viki: I'm not sure he knows, either. Does he know how much you love him?

Tea: I think he does. He has said he can't live without me, that he loves me. I don't think I can live without him, either, or I wouldn't stay with him or keep going back. But it's SO HARD to be with him like this, Viki. I never know who I'm dealing with one moment to the next. I do love him, though. He just doesn't love himself.

Viki: No, he doesn't. Yet he can love others with a passion. I see the way he looks at you. He has such a look of longing sometimes when he looks at you and there is such love in his eyes for you.

Tea: Sometimes when he thinks I'm not looking I catch the expression on his face as he looks at me. I know he loves me with a passion. As I do him. It's scary. I think it scares him even more than it does me.

Viki: He's so frightened to let anyone get close to him. He's been badly hurt, suffered abandonment, as well as failed relationships. I think Blair was kind of a "last straw" for him in a lot of ways. I'm surprised he can love anyone after that, except Starr.

Tea: We were both surprised by this. I think it terrifies Todd that he loves me and so deeply. I see that now, how deeply he's loved me this whole time, how hard he's worked to earn my love, how hard he's tried to trust me and to believe that he is worthy of my trust. This whole time he's been so terrified of getting hurt again, of losing me, except I've been here the whole time, even when I would leave him.

Viki: So many times, you come into a room and he just seems to light up. You make him happy despite himself, I think. He says you are his heart.

[Scene ends.]