Rebecca Lewis pulled impatiently at a strand of her dark, curly hair as she waited for the light to change. She had promised Helena, the director of the shelter where she often volunteered, that she would be there promptly at 6:00 and it was nearly that now. She hated to be late but couldn't help it. Her recent ex, Gary Samms, had come to her office, eventhough she'd asked him not to on several occasions. He made a scene, insisting that he see her, but she didn't want to see him. Partly because it was undeniably over, but mostly because she felt guilty and couldn't face him. She couldn't lie to him, but she couldn't tell him the truth either.

And the truth was simply this: she didn't love him. She liked him a great deal, and she cared for him very much, but after nearly a year of saying the words, and knowing deep in her heart that she didn't mean them, she couldn't do it anymore. He was hurt and confused. And she had to admit that she was pretty confused herself. And hurt. The more relationships she had, the more her heart felt like an impenetrable wall that no one could break through. She didn't know how she'd gotten that way, but she knew it started with Todd Manning.

Her days with Todd were long past and she had been just a girl then. Her faith shaken by Angela Holliday's betrayal, she wanted so much to believe that she could trust again, that she could make a difference in someone's life. Then Todd came along, and he was more than she bargained for. Much more.

She was as drawn to him, as she was afraid of him, and in the beginning she'd allowed herself to trust in him, believing all of his lies about Powell and Nora Gannon. Until that night. He'd attacked Marty Sayebrooke, killed Suede Pruitt, and took her hostage, making her go on the run with him.

Yet, she'd loved him. She saw behind his rage and menace to the pain that was always bubbling below the surface and waiting to explode. She'd never seen anyone as hurt and desperate as Todd, yet his will to survive was huge. He would and did anything to live, and part of her admired his tenacity, if not his methods. And all he really wanted was someone to stick by him the way his mother and father wouldn't. He was always testing her, and eventually she failed. She'd turned on him too.

When she was with Powell, Todd's former frat brother had committed rapes and tried to pin them on Todd. Todd was innocent, but no one believed him, not even her. She'd thought back on that with real regret more than once, and she sometimes wondered what happened to Todd. How his life came out. Was he happy? Was he in love? Or was he lonely...like her.

She was a woman with a career, a life, and the assurance that she would never be so naive again, never make those same mistakes again. Now, she tried to be careful of who she gave her heart too, but more and more often, she found her heart was closed off to love. Though she knew she would never meet another man like Todd, she didn't know if she could handle anything like that hurt again.

Her whirling thoughts, a mixture of regrets for her past loves, retreated as she pulled into the parking lot of the shelter and was greeted by Helena.

"Hey Helena, sorry I'm late. I--"

"You're not on the clock, Becca. You can come whenever you want, you know that."

Rebecca smiled, "You're right, I --" she sighed, "At exactly what point did I get so anal?" The two women laughed. "So where do you want me?"

"Serving," Helena said and led her to the dining area where people were already eating dinner. She handed her an apron. "Have fun."

Rebecca smiled and started to put her apron on, scanning the room. More people than usual. They needed her help tonight. She started to turn around when a shock of lank, dark-blonde hair caught her eye. The man's back was to her, but something about the set of his shoulders added another point of familiarity to what had to be a complete stranger. She stared at him, trying to figure out what it was about him that stopped her cold, when he turned his head slightly to the right and she caught his profile. And her heart leapt into her throat.

Rebecca felt her legs shaking as her knees tried to buckle under her. It couldn't be. Not after all these years? How was it possible? She simply couldn't believe that it wasn't a trick of her eyes. She expected him to disappear the minute she blinked her eyes. She blinked. He was still there. She stared. It was hard to fathom that the one person she would swear on a stack of bibles that she would never see again was sitting right in front of her. She was afraid that her mind was playing a trick on her. And she was afraid that it wasn't.

She had to go to him, had to be sure it *was* him, but what would she say? Why was he so far from Llanview and what was he doing there in a homeless shelter? She'd spent all those years trying to forget him. The last time she saw him, he was penniless, without home or family. It broke her heart to see that his situation had only worsened in all the between years.

"Oh Todd," she whispered, unable to take her eyes off him now. "Oh my god, Todd." She approached him slowly, mentally commanding herself to take every step until she finally found herself standing right behind him. Her hand fell lightly on his shoulder, gently tapping it.

"Todd? Is that you, Todd?"

He turned to her and she saw the lovely hazel eyes that she remembered in her dreams sometimes. The eyes of the man she once loved, despite warnings from everyone to stay away from him. He smiled slightly at the sight of her, his eyes questioning. But she saw with dismay that there was no recognition in them. None at all.

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