Dorian knew Viki would want her to leave, but she couldn't. She honestly wasn't staying out of spite or some kind of power play. She had to know if Timmy was going to be all right. She knew he had sustained, at the very least a concussion and a possible broken wrist. She saw the pain and terror in those innocent eyes. She knew she could not leave. She was not even thinking about the fact that Viki had called her there in the first place or that Viki needed something from her. She was no longer thinking about the papers in her purse. Right now, Dorian just wanted to know one thing. She wanted to hear that, that sweet injured child was going to be all right.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************

Dorian sat quietly outside of Todd's room. She watched as nurses, doctors and technicians came and went. Viki, Sam and Susannah did not come out. Occasionally, when the door opened, she heard Timmy crying or Viki, Sam or Susannah's voice trying to comfort him. Sometimes there was just silence. Dorian felt horrible about what had happened. She reasoned that she certainly did not cry out and startle everyone on purpose, but she also knew that she shouldn't have been there. She looked down at her purse and remembered her reason for being near Todd's room in the first place. Dorian knew that Blair would be furious if she found out what she had been planning.

Now that she was thinking more rationally, Dorian realized that even if she had gotten Todd or an alter to sign away Todd's parental rights, it never would have held up in court. Not in the condition Todd was in. Dorian could not shake the image of Todd from her mind. True, she never liked him. In fact, at times she hated him, but she never would have wished this on him. She certainly would never dream of hurting that pitiful child she saw. A vision of the hurt and terrified Timmy passed through her brain. Dorian shook her head and thought. Sweetheart, I hope you're going to be all right.

Inside Todd's room, Timmy lay in the bed dazed, confused and frightened. He wasn't sure what had happened and who the strangers in the room with him were. Susannah didn't want to sedate him until the neurologist assessed him. He was in a lot of pain. They did their best to comfort him.

Viki had angrily accused the staff of not doing their job, by letting a stranger so close to Todd's room. "For God's sake! Didn't you see her sitting there! You know people aren't allowed to go wandering around this unit!"

They all felt terrible, but explained to Viki that Dorian was questioned and since she was on the approved visitor's list, she was allowed onto the unit. They further explained that since Dorian had showed up an hour before she was due, the woman Viki had spoken with went on an early break to make sure she would be back by the time Dorian arrived. The tech that was manning the nurses station west, when Dorian arrived, was not aware that she was not allowed past the family lounge. She only knew that she was an approved visitor. The tech had called the nurses station near Todd's room and since Viki had not mentioned anything to Terry about Dorian not coming near Todd, she had given her approval. Terry felt horrible and accepted responsibility. She told Viki if she wanted her off Todd's case she would understand.

Viki calmed down and realized she never mentioned anything to Terry and that she should have. Viki apologized to her.

Timmy had thrown up again and was very weak. He was dizzy and his vision was blurred. His wrist and lip were hurting. Doctor Anderson was the first to arrive. He assessed Timmy as best as he could. Timmy was too terrified to stay calm. Sam held Timmy's head and tried to comfort him as four other staff members held him still while Doctor Anderson checked him out.

He agreed with Susannah's diagnosis. Timmy had a concussion. He told them that unless things start to get worse, he didn't feel putting Timmy through CT scan or an MRI was necessary. He told Susannah that it was all right to sedate him, but that he had to be watched very closely.

Timmy was put to sleep by the time x-ray showed up. His wrist was not broken, but it was badly sprained. Doctor Wolpen, the orthopedist, told them to continue the ice packs and to keep it elevated and then to apply a compression bandage. Timmy's lip required three sutures. Sam and Viki looked down at their injured child. Their hearts were breaking.

Susannah stepped out to go to the nurses station. She was surprised to see Dorian still sitting there. She approached Dorian. "Mrs. Hayes, you really should not be here. I'm sure that whatever Viki wanted to see you about will have to wait. She is very upset over what happened to Timmy."

"How old is he?" Dorian asked.

"Timmy?" Susannah wanted to be sure whom Dorian was asking about.

"Yes," Dorian answered.

"Timmy is four years old. Today was the first day he tried walking since he went into cardiac arrest last week. He has had a very hard time of it lately and so has his family. They don't need to be upset any more than they already are," Susannah explained coldly.

"I'm not sure if you are aware of it, but Viki asked me to come here today," Dorian pointed out.

"Yes, I know. I also know you were supposed to wait for her in the family lounge on the West side of the unit."

Well, Dorian thought, Doctor Hanen doesn't pull any punches, does she? "I'm sorry for what happened. I was shocked to see how bad Todd looked. What is wrong with him, I mean beside the DID?" Dorian pressed for information.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Hayes. I cannot discuss Todd's condition in detail with you without Viki's consent," Susannah stated.

"Can you at least tell me if he's going to be all right from the fall?"

Susannah studied Dorian's face. She saw her concern was genuine. "Yes, he will be all right. He has a mild concussion and a sprained wrist. His lip needed three stitches."

"Is he in much pain? I don't hear him crying anymore," Dorian observed.

"Timmy has been sedated," Susannah replied.

"Doctor Hanen, I don't mean to tell you your business, but is that advisable with head trauma?" Dorian asked.

"Timmy was not given a narcotic. His level of consciousness was assessed before any sedation was used. It was the lessor of two evils. Timmy could not stay calm or quiet on his own."

"I see, I'm sorry. Of course you know best," Dorian admitted. She then stood up and announced, "I will be going now. Please tell Viki I'm sorry. She can call me when she is ready to talk."

"That won't be necessary, Dorian. I'm ready now," Viki called out as she came out of Todd's room.

"I was just heading for the nurses station to apologize to Terry again," Viki told Susannah. She turned to Dorian. "Why are you still here, Dorian?" Viki looked daggers in Dorian's direction.

"I wanted to make sure he was all right," Dorian answered, defensively.

"Well, as you can plainly see he is not all right. He may never be all right. Does that make your day! Do you take joy in that, Dorian?"

Dorian tried to stay calm. "No Viki, I don't. We both know Todd is not my favorite person, but . . ."

"Not your favorite person!" Viki interrupted, in a mocking tone. "You hate him! You always did. You will do anything to take his child away from him."

"Viki, I won't argue that with you right now." Dorian took a deep breath and continued. "I can assure you that I would never have wanted this for Todd. I would never have hurt that poor little boy."

"What were you doing here so early, Dorian? Why didn't you just stay put in the family lounge! I asked you to do that! I knew that if you came anywhere near Todd, something bad would happen. Something bad happens whenever you come near anyone!"

Susannah could see that Dorian was more hurt than angry by what Viki just said. "Viki, why don't you go back in with Timmy. Dorian was just about to leave and I know that Terry understands and she is not upset with you," Susannah suggested, trying her best to keep everyone calm.

"No! I want to speak with Dorian as long as she is here. Why should what happened to Timmy today be for nothing?" Viki asked bitterly.

"Mrs. Hayes, is that all right with you?" Susannah asked.

Dorian thought about it for a moment and agreed, "Yes, that will be all right."

"I can stay here with you both, if you prefer," Susannah offered.

"We'll be fine," Both Viki and Dorian said at the same time. They looked at each other. Each slightly embarrassed by any similarities between them.

"Dorian and I will be in the visitors lounge down the hall," Viki informed Susannah.

"All right. I'll be in with Timmy if you need me," Susannah told them and headed for Todd's room.

"Viki, I am truly sorry about what happened with Timmy. I never meant to frighten anyone. It was just that he looked so . . ." Dorian was searching for the right words.

"So awful. So sick! Don't you think I see that, Dorian?" Viki admitted. Tears came to her eyes.

Seeing that, Dorian felt a lump in her own throat begin. "Viki, I know you feel this is none of my business, but we are family. What in God's name is wrong with him? Blair told me about the DID, and that he had pneumonia a couple of months ago, but what is wrong with him? He's wasting away. He is so incredibly pale. Is he anemic?"

"Yes," Viki answered as tears poured down her cheeks. "He is anemic. His heart has weakened. His electrolytes are all messed up. He is in a deep depression and he and most of the alters won't eat."

"Most of them?" Dorian pressed.

"Todd has twenty alters that we know of. Most of them are very young children. There Dorian, is that enough misery to satisfy even you? Todd is suffering every minute of his life. He is in constant pain, mentally and physically. Are you happy now?"

"Viki, I know you won't believe this, but I am not enjoying seeing Todd this way. I am very, very sorry that sweet little Timmy got hurt."

Perhaps it was hearing Timmy's name come from Dorian's lips or the inhuman amount of stress that Viki had been under. Viki started to sob uncontrollably. She put her face in her hands and the tears poured through her fingers.

Awkwardly, Dorian put her arm around Viki's shoulder. "Viki, I am familiar with mental illness, you know. I know the pain of watching a loved one suffer. What is Todd's prognosis?"

Viki calmed down a little and lifted her head. She wiped away some of her tears with her fingers. Dorian took a handkerchief from her purse and handed it to Viki. Viki gratefully accepted it. "Susannah still believes she can successfully integrate him," Viki informed Dorian.

"Blair, mentioned that Todd was abused, quite severely, by his adopted father," Dorian acknowledged.

"Dorian, you could never imagine. Todd was tortured every day of his life from the day Peter adopted him."

"Even when his mother was still around?" Dorian was shocked.

"Yes. She was horribly abused herself and she was an alcoholic. She tried to prevent it, at times, but she was beaten for her effort."

"So, Peter beat Todd too?" Dorian asked, shaking her head.

"Beat him!" Viki laughed ironically. "He beat him, burned him, mentally abused him, tortured him in ways you can never imagine."

Viki looked down at her hands. She rested them in her lap to try to stop the trembling. Viki went on. "Peter Manning also molested and raped Todd." Viki saw the look of horror on Dorian's face. She continued anyway. "He repeatedly molested and raped him from the time he was just four, possibly younger. Peter would drag Todd out of bed in the middle of the night to torture him. Todd was tortured for everything. If the weather was bad, he was tortured. If Peter had a bad day at the office, he was tortured. If he wet himself or threw up, he was tortured. If he cried from the pain of what Peter was doing to him, he was tortured, and if he didn't cry, he was tortured for that too." Viki did not want to give Dorian all this information. For some reason, she could not stop herself.

Dorian turned pale. She felt slightly nauseated. She thought of the times that she had seen Todd with Starr. She knew in her heart that Todd would never hurt his little girl that way. Yet, a part of her felt afraid for Starr. She found it hard to imagine that anyone abused that badly would have been able to break the cycle of abuse all by themselves. She thought of that frightened and hurt little boy she had just seen. Dorian could see that Viki was upset that she had said too much. She knew Viki was afraid she had given her ammunition to use against Todd.

Dorian took a deep breath and said, "Viki, I'm not going to pretend that Todd is suddenly my favorite person, but I swear to you, I would never have wished that on him." Dorian took Viki's hand and looked deeply into her eyes stated, "I know what it is to be an abused child. Not to the extent Todd was, but I know."

"Then what the hell were you doing here, Dorian? Why did you show up early and why were you lurking around Todd's room?"

Dorian instinctively put her hand on her purse. For the moment, Dorian was sorry for what she had planned to do. Right now she regretted wanting to trick Todd into signing away his rights to Starr.

"I know you want Blair to try to get sole custody of Starr because Todd is sick," Viki admitted, disgustedly.

Dorian did feel regret for that, but not so much for wanting Blair to have custody of Starr. She still believed that Blair and the rest of the Cramer women were better suited to raise Starr than Todd and Viki's side of the family. She felt regret because she tried to hurt Todd while he was so sick, and by doing so she added to Viki's grief. Dorian knew what it felt like to be terrified for a sick loved one. Dorian opened her purse and took out the papers she had brought along. "Viki, I want you to look at these."

Viki took the papers and looked them over. "Dorian, how dare you! What kind of monster are you?"

Dorian didn't answer. She took the papers back and ripped them up. "Viki, I swear to you, I will not try to hurt Todd while he is so ill. Afterwards, all bets are off, but not while he's this ill," Dorian promised with a small, sad, smile on her lips.

Viki told Dorian why she asked to meet her in the first place. Dorian looked shocked. "That man truly was a miserable bastard," Dorian spat out. She shook her head in disbelief. She then quickly said, "Viki, I'm sorry. I know he was your father and a part of you still loves him."

"Dorian, for once we are in complete agreement. He was a miserable bastard. I don't know how my father could have held this incredible little human being in his arms and turned his back on him."

"I do have some of your father's things in storage. I don't ever remember seeing that picture. Viki, I have to ask. Why is seeing that picture so important?"

"Dorian, I really don't know. Perhaps, because its the only baby picture of Todd I will ever have. Or maybe it's that it is a connection between Todd and my father. Or maybe because it is verification of Todd's memories. Perhaps someday that might help him. All I know is I need that picture. I need to see the baby in that picture again," Viki explained as best she could.

"Even my own children know that I love Todd with all my heart. The bond we share is the strongest of my life. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Todd. Dorian, he is so very ill. You just can't imagine. You do know that it is at his request that Starr be kept out of his life?"

"Yes, Blair told me that," Dorian confirmed gently.

"He wants to protect Starr from ever having to see him like this. He thinks about her all the time. At least when he's Todd. There is an alter named Saber. He is the reincarnation of Peter Manning. He taunts Todd that something bad will happen to Starr. Todd would die before he would ever let any harm come to Starr. I promise you that Dorian. No matter which alter has ever been out, Starr has been safe."

"Viki, I know how much Todd loves Starr. I may not believe he should be raising her, but I do know how much he loves her, and if I forget, Blair keeps reminding me."

"Did Blair tell you that Todd is suffering from 'psychosomatic' blindness?" Viki asked.

"No!" Dorian again looked shocked.

"Yes, it's his way of not looking at things and punishing himself." Viki did not trust this new, benevolent, Dorian enough to tell her about the whole Michelle matter.

"Viki," Dorian stood up and straightened out her skirt, "I will go to the storage room as soon as I leave here. If that picture is among your father's possessions, I will find it and I will bring it to you."

"Dorian."

"Yes," Dorian turned around to look at Viki.

"Thank you," Viki said simply.

Dorian just nodded and headed for the doors.

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