As Tom got closer he could see the shape of a paw. Tom's heart started to pound wildly. He was afraid to look any closer but forced himself to. There, on the cold damp floor of the basement was his beloved Randy. Tom picked the dog up and noticed how cold and stiff the animal felt. "Randy, it's me Tom. Are you hurt? Randy, please, please, it's me Tom, Randy?" "Do you see what you've done!" Peter's voice startled the boy. "Do you see what happens when someone finds out our secrets?"

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Doctor Susannah Hanen looked at the young man sitting on the bed. She then thought about the old newspaper articles she had just read about Todd Manning. The incongruity between the two was startling. Susannah could no more picture this boy doing all those horrible things to Marty, or Nora than she could picture herself doing them. Nor could she imagine him taking fourteen people hostage. Susannah was as convinced as Viki that this was an alter and not Todd.

Susannah tried again, "That looks really hard to play. Can you show me how it works?"

Tom patiently explained the game to Susannah. He seemed a little more relaxed. Susannah then walked over to where Viki stood and motioned for Viki to go and speak to her brother. She felt that perhaps he would respond better if Viki were to break the ice.

Viki, trying to choose her words carefully, began by asking Tom if he would tell her the truth about something if she asked. Tom looked at her in his straightforward way and thought about what she had asked for a second. He didn't like to lie to anyone, especially not to Viki. He nodded yes.

"Is Todd here in this room with us?" Viki could see that she had surprised him with her question and she looked to Susannah to see if she should persue this. Susannah nodded. Tom had still not answered.

"I ask that," Viki continued gently, "because some time ago I had all these people who lived inside me and sometimes when it hurt too much for me to be there they would take my place. They would help me. I thought that maybe you were someone who was here to help Todd, because it hurts too much for him to be here. If that is true you can tell us. Really, it's all right. No one will be angry with you. We would be grateful to you for helping Todd. You see, that's what we are trying to do; help Todd."

Viki stopped to see what reaction she was getting. Tom wanted to tell Viki the truth. He knew she was Todd's sister and not really his, but he loved her and thought of her as more of a mom than a sister. He also thought Doctor Hanen seemed nice, even for a doctor. It was very frustrating for Tom to never be able to tell anyone who he was. He hated getting blamed for things that he didn't do.

When he first came he could not understand how anyone could mistake him for Todd. He knew he didn't look much like Todd and he certainly didn't act like Todd. Eventually, he came to realize that pretending to be Todd was an important part of his job and that it was his responsibility to "handle stuff" for Todd, but at least he wasn't alone. There were lots of others who also helped Todd out. Now, Tom had to decide if he could trust Viki and Doctor Hanen enough to tell them who he was. Even though some of the time Tom remembered that Todd's father was dead, most of the time it seemed Peter was still there. Sometimes Tom got confused and Peter was alive and hurting him again.

Like Todd, Tom also had nightmares that plagued his sleep. The only difference was, that unlike Todd, Tom remembered his dreams, and in most of them Peter Manning was very much alive. Tom, sometimes right after he woke up, had a hard time telling the difference between what was and wasn't a dream, so the fear of being punished by Peter for telling secrets still loomed large in his thoughts.

He looked at Viki; her face was so kind and so full of love. Her kids are lucky, Tom thought, I wish she was really my mom. Then Tom made one of the biggest and bravest decisions of his life. He decided to tell Viki and Doctor Hanen who he was. He decided to trust.

Viki asked again, "Is Todd here? Are you Todd?" Tom shook his head. For a moment everyone froze in silence. Then Viki, brushing Tom's hair from his face, asked, "What's your name?"

"Tom, that's short for Thomas."

Viki knew that Todd's given name was Thomas, but had never heard anyone call him that.

Susannah walked over to where Viki and Tom sat and held out her hand. "I am really glad to meet you Tom." He took her hand and shook it.

"Would it be all right if I asked you some questions about yourself?" Susannah asked. Tom nodded yes. "How old are you?"

"Seven," Tom answered.

"How long have you been with Todd?" Susannah asked.

"A really, really long time."

Susannah tried again, "How old was Todd when you came?"

"Seven," Tom answered.

"What was going on in Todd's life when you first got there?" Susannah asked.

She could see the question made Tom uncomfortable and frightened.

"It's okay," she gently prodded, "You can tell me if something I ask makes you frightened."

Then Tom said, "Todd was being bad and had to be puni . . ."

Before Tom had a chance to finish his thought, he spun around as if someone had just called to him or yelled at him. Looking terrified, he suddenly jumped off the bed. He was looking at someone that only he could see.

"I didn't do anything bad. I wanted to tell them. They're gonna help us. They're nice." Tom paused, as if he were listening to a response. "I want to trust them. Viki is Todd's sister, she loves us." Tears formed in Tom's eyes, as if whoever had just responded to him, hurt him in some way.

Susannah and Viki realized that another alter, one who did not want Tom telling any of their secrets, had interrupted and he or she, was now frightening Tom. Susannah walked over to Tom and stood directly in his line of vision, as if to block his view of whatever he was seeing, she put her hand on his shoulder and said, "It's all right Tom, we're here with you.

"We won't let anyone hurt you. If someone is threatening you now, you don't have to be afraid. We will protect you. We are stronger than whomever is scaring you."

Unfortunately, Susannah had underestimated this alter. Suddenly, the boy that had been in the room with them vanished and in his place was someone who didn't even attempt to hide his contempt for them or his rage with them.

Smirking he said, "If you bitches think you're stronger than I am, you're stupider than I thought. You think you can force your way into our life just like that and make us do what you want. Women! You're all alike, can't trust any of you."

He then started for the door. Susannah moved quickly to block his way.

"I know you're very angry, but can't you stay and talk with us for a while? Tell us what you're angry about?"

This seemed to amuse him and he laughed out loud. Then without any warning, he pushed Susannah out of the way and left the room. Viki started to go after him, but Susannah held her back.

"That wouldn't be a good idea," Susannah advised. "He could be dangerous to someone or to himself," Viki cried out, standing there, with tears forming in her eyes.

"I know," Susannah admitted, patting Viki on the shoulder, "But for now, I think we need to let him be. I think he just wanted to make sure we knew he was still in control of things, and not us. I think he felt threatened by Tom's trust in us. This was probably one of the first times any of them had ever admitted who they were to someone. Probably the first time that any of them gave up the secret of their existence. If this alter considers himself to be in charge, then I would be a major threat to him."

Viki realized what Susannah said was true, but she was still so afraid for her brother.

"What if he tries to hurt Tom, or runs off and doesn't come back?" Viki asked, with a shaky voice.

Giving her honest professional opinion, Susannah replied, "I really don't think that will happen. I think there is a part of Todd that desperately wants help. I believe the fact that Tom was willing to trust us proves that."

Viki prayed that she was right. She also prayed that someone would be watching over them until they came back home.

Although she didn't know it, Viki's prayer was being answered. Someone was watching over them, someone, who had always watched over "her boys," as she thought of them. Someone who had watched over them for many years, and who tried her best to give them the mother they all wanted so badly, who tried to steer them away from trouble, although, she would be the first to admit that she had failed to do this on many occasions. She was someone who tried to keep everything together, all the memories, all the secrets.

Emily Perkins never had any misconceptions about her existence. She never thought about a life for herself. She had always known that her life's work was to care for and protect Todd and the others. Oh, they didn't make it easy, she thought to herself, but realized, sometimes life gives you a challenge and you have to accept it. She had come to help when Todd was nine years old, the day he came home to find a farewell note from his mother and Peter told Todd, "That whore who calls herself your mother won't ever be coming back again. She left you, forever." She knew she was strict with her boys, however, she also knew they needed that structure. She did care for them and they knew it.

The years before Peter died had been especially difficult for Miss Perkins. It broke her heart to see those boys hurt so badly, but she knew she had to stay strong, for their sake. She hated to think ill of the dead. Still, she was glad that monster who called himself Todd's father was gone.

She had always been there for Todd. Even in Ireland, even when Todd didn't know who he was, she had sent him thoughts of encouragement, and saved his memories for him. Miss Perkins was most distressed at the way Viki and that nice Doctor Hanen had been treated and intended to apologize to them as soon as she got the opportunity.

Viki and Susannah didn't know it, but when Tom finally decided to trust them, Miss Perkins, watching from inside, was smiling. She was extremely pleased that Tom would take the chance to open up to someone and she felt that both Viki and Susannah could be trusted or she would have tried to stop Tom herself. She was also relieved that at last someone was there to help her to take care of her boys. It wasn't that she minded or that she didn't love them. It was just that it was so much for one person to handle and she wasn't getting any younger. She was tired, very tired. Now, for the first time, perhaps she could rest.

TO BE CONTINUED

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