MAYBE TONIGHT - PART ONE

(Author's Note: I hope I don't try the reader's patience dragging you back into the past and somewhat rewriting parts of history. I admit, I think the past is a nice place to be stuck sometimes! This was last summer's project which I found under the bed covered in dust…For this reason you may be struck with the urge to sneeze as you read…Candyland provides the Kleenex, free of charge! The time is the weeks after the Proposal…the big one….when Todd and Tea suddenly became like two ships passing in the night, without a warning…..)

Maybe Tonight

The promise of Maybe breaks through the fog of doubt

It sees you through to the other side where silent dreams find a voice

It is the wonder of the past that pulls you towards the Future

And the faith that breaks through the chains that hold you bound to Never.

Live in Today, Look to Tomorrow….

And wherever doubt threatens to destroy all that is possible

Always remember…

Maybe Tonight.

~m&m gal

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Tea Manning critically studied her reflection in the mirror that hung over the dresser in her bedroom. Not quite satisfied, she pulled a few wisps of hair down out of her elaborate twist to frame her face. The fashion magazine that lay open-faced in front of her dubbed this "The Look of Romance," Tonight that was exactly what she was after.

"Tonight could be special," she whispered to the butterflies in her stomach that threatened her confidence further with each passing minute.

Todd had mentioned on his way to The Sun that he would see her for dinner. To Tea, this became a rare opportunity of late to spend a little alone time with her husband. Logic argued that dinner was just a small thing, nothing to bring on the high spirits and the nagging feeling of hope that had followed her around all day. Still, every minute held such promise, such potential for them to become everything she knew that they could be, deep down in the very heart of her, where her dreams and wishes could not be silenced.

She smiled wistfully at the image in the mirror as she wondered if she could ever make Todd as obsessed with her as he was with his breaking stories. Lately, it was harder than ever for her to sneak past his walls. Tea wanted so badly for him to let her in, once and for all. She continued to draw on the strength she found every time he let down the defenses….in those moments that she was lost in his eyes and could see right through to his soul.

"Maybe Tonight…" she whispered as if sharing a well kept secret with a special confidante. The girl reflected back at her seemed to be struggling while hope and loneliness battled in her eyes. She let her words trail off with the promise of unspoken possibilities.

She found her earrings lying where Starr had left them after a late night game of dress-up. Would he remember the night that he had presented them to her with all the grace of his usual nature but also with a rare twist of pride and gentleness? She blushed, the memory deeply ingrained in her own thoughts and holding its permanent home in her heart, as it was one of the first times that her heart had shocked her by beating so fast that she was sure he had heard it.

Tea shook her head to break the reverie, and she gasped in horror as she noted the time. She expected Todd home soon, and she wanted to make sure that all of her special preparations for the evening were perfect.

First, she tiptoed down the hall to Starr's room to check on her. She smiled with affection as she found the little girl lost in her own dreams of princes, once upon a time, and happily ever after. She could not remember back to the days when Starr was not such an important part of her life. Tea had never expected to feel so much for another woman's child. Though not the child of her body, she was the daughter of her soul. She tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair from her cheek and left her to her peaceful sleep.

Once downstairs, she scrutinized every last detail of her attempt to create a dinner for Todd that would be subtly romantic and comfortable for him. That afternoon, with some "assistance" from Starr and her grandmother's store of special recipes, she had finally broken in the Penthouse's kitchen and whipped up a meal designed to appeal to all of the senses. Now, she could only cross her fingers and pray that everything was as edible as it appeared. Satisfied that all was heating, boiling and bubbling as it should be, she turned her attention to the ambiance of the dining area.

Tea had created a romantic table for two setting in front of the fireplace, complete with champagne on ice, several aroma-therapy candles whose labels promised a relaxing and sensual evening, and on impulse, a rose or two for good measure. The CD player was cued for a mix of some of his favorites and hers. Looking around the room, she could not resist the urge to close her eyes for a moment and imagine what it would be like to have Todd hold her close in her arms as they swayed together in time to some romantic melody, his heart beating against her cheek….so warm….so safe….so loved. Wanted….She could almost hear the music, and she was sure she could feel his warmth.

"Maybe Tonight…" She smiled to herself this time, a feeling of hope replacing any doubt. She nervously smoothed the silky material of her new black dress, and then laughed at herself for acting like a nervous teenager waiting for her first date to appear at the door. She perched on the edge of the couch in anticipation and took one last apprehensive glance at her reflection in the back of a steak knife. Her mirror image winked back at her.

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Todd Manning paced the carpet like a nervous cat as Blair looked on with obvious irritation.

"Gosh, Todd, you won't grow roots if you stay in one place, you know."

"Daimler, Cramer…Thorn in my side…whatever you are calling yourself these days….I'm not paying you to comment on my methods of transportation, ok? We get this information, you file the story for the late edition, and then I've got somewhere I've got to be. In the meantime, can it."

"Hot date, Todd?….Ooops, silly ole me. I forgot who I was talking to. My, my….I wonder who has a worse case of freezer burn in that house…you or your wife. I'm not a betting woman, but I think I'll go with the Ice Queen." Blair slyly looked down her lashes at Todd, but she was surprised to see a hard edge and a protective light appear behind his eyes.

"Watch it," he cautioned through gritted teeth.

Blair opened her mouth, another irresistable quip on the tip of her tongue, but all at once she thought better of it. Todd's usual enthusiasm for long nights at the office was missing tonight, as he glanced repeatedly from the clock on the wall to the door. She smiled inwardly if she wondered if Tea had actually put her foot down and assigned Todd a curfew.

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Todd drummed his fingers on the desk and darted a look of annoyance at Blair who looked so much like the Cheshire Cat that he was certain she was amusing herself with her own private jokes at his expense. His eyes fell on the picture of Tea that he had framed and placed next to Starr's. A picture did not do her justice, he thought with a sudden rush of affection. He was sure that a photo dulled the light in her eyes and the soft look of her skin. Still, he loved having it there….her gaze was so penetrating….he always felt as though she was just about to share a secret with him.

Her eyes don't lie……

His thoughts wandered to that morning and the way her eyes had lit up when he had mentioned that he would be home to have dinner with her. He had pretended to merely mention his plans in passing, though his heart had jumped forward at the flush in her cheeks and that shine in her eyes. He almost laughed as he realized how she had struggled to act equally nonchalant about the whole business. Todd knew her to well. Precious little about her, ….the way she smiled, the tone of her laugh, the subtle movements of her body…ever escaped him.

"See you tonight, then?" She had failed at her attempt to hide her smile.

He would not admit to her that he had smiled all the way to the office that day, either Now he thought back to his promise, and he cursed his informant for being late tonight of all nights. He hated to be responsible for crushing that light. He had trouble even admitting to himself how much he was longing for her company---those dancing eyes, her wonderful laugh, her gentle reassurance---He glanced up to see Blair staring at him so hard that she was practically looking cross-eyed.

"What do you think this is, a peep show? Move along, lady. Nothing to see here," he growled.

Blair simply rolled her eyes in response as the tip they'd been waiting on nervously slid in the door.

"Do you want to get your no good keister in here and give us what you got before I grow old?" The slug was throwing a major cog in his plans and he did not plan to let him get away without torturing him to the point of getting him to wet himself.

Soon Tea…I'll be home soon. And heck? Who knows? Maybe Tonight…….

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Tea paced the now familiar path from the couch to the door one more time, and she sighed deeply. She cursed the tears that threatened so easily and which threatened to turn her make-up into two rivers of black.

"He's just late, Tea….girl, what is your problem? He'll be home soon," she said to no one in particular. Looking for something to take her mind off her blackening dinner, she threw herself down dejectedly on the couch and flipped on the TV to the movie of the week.

"Typical," she scoffed, as two no talent actors spouted equally lack-luster dialogue. This soon led to a great deal of clothes ripping and steamy sex. For a moment, she sat riveted; then she snapped back to attention, moved by her loneliness to surf on.

"Here we go--20/20. A good dose of brain food to get my mind off Todd and whatever stems this new motivation for business he has found." Secretly, she feared that he was running fast and far, however he found the means, from the touching commitment he had vowed to make just weeks before…

Down on one knee, not once avoiding her eyes, Todd Manning had asked her to marry him….the second time….this time for real. He had floored her. Could he really want it as much as she did? That night, anything and everything had seemed possible. Most women want to be promised the world the night the one they love offers her a sparkling diamond ring. All she wanted was a pathway into his heart and a home in his soul. Just hours before he had stopped short of letting her into his "twisted" world and she had given up on him. Later that night she had seen all her dreams coming true in his eyes. For so long she had come up against his demons…so much pain…so much to hide away from….some rooted in the distant past and the horror of childhood that no one should endure, others born in more recent history. She knew that he had truly loved Blair, and that both she and the fate of their relationship as a whole had done a number on him and any sense of trust that had begun to take root in him. It had haunted her for a long time, as well. It was so hard to ever feel truly secure with Todd Manning, and to face the ghost of a past love, one in which the dynamics of a small town and shared custody of the daughter produced by that love continue to force a continuing relationship, made it that much more difficult. In the deepest recesses of her thoughts, she knew that she held a certain level of resentment for the woman who had captured Todd's heart the first time, and her own insecurity often made her fear the notion of finding herself on the outside of things if a woman like Blair ever made up her mind to give it a second go. Disturbed by her own trend of thinking, she forced her mind on the story that was about to begin on the screen.

---"Coming up, …..Affairs of the Heart: What really goes on after hours, behind closed doors, the workplace…one woman's shocking discovery"-----

Barbara Walters took a swift shot to the head courtesy of the pillow Tea hurled in frustration. If the television was trying to mess with her mind, it was a cruel joke. To prevent a stream of ridiculous thoughts from running through her head, she picked up the latest novel she had been nose deep in for the last several days, Hold on to Love. After flipping a few pages, she soon sent that flying as well.

"Can't anyone keep their clothes on anymore?!" She laughed at herself as the silence in the room mocked her. She realized the irony in the whole situation. Todd could teach all these sex-a-holics a lesson or two. So why was she so plagued by visions of Todd and Blair tangoing in every corner of his office?

She couldn't help it. Beside herself, she burned a trail to the phone, convincing herself all the way that she would work on "trust" the next time.

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"I don't PAY you to 'THINK' that that is what he said! A he said it, B , you are full of it and wasting my time! Now which is it?! Pick one! Then, remind me why I have a contract with YOUR name on it!!"

Blair looked on in admiration as Todd made the informant visibly squirm.

"BLAIR! Could you rely on what little talent you have and answer that phone! If it is Tea, please ask her to wait up for me…I'm going home as soon as this weasel sings me a song I can dance to!"

Blair reached for the phone and immediately gritted her teeth as Tea jumped in without missing a beat on the other end.

"Todd? Todd, is everything ok? I thought…"

Blair glanced over at Todd, deep in his late night interrogation, and slyly turned her back to the two men.

"Tea, don't you know better than to interrupt US with YOUR trivial business when we are obviously VERY busy over here?" She was sure to place an extra special emphasis on the us and the busy part of the notion.

"Blair, since when were you promoted to Todd's personal secretary? I certainly didn't sign that contract!" She had responded with an obvious mix of hurt and contempt in her voice, and she silently cursed herself for dropping her calm, cool, and collected veneer to Blair's taunt.

"Hmmm….must be hard to keep track of your husband's affairs when he so obviously keeps you at arms length at all times, huh Tea? Todd and I were wrapped up in something really important, if you must know, and there is no way of telling when it will all end between us…you might not want to wait up…" her double meaning was obvious in the tone of her voice.

"Blair, put Todd on, now!" Her anger was giving way to a tremor in her voice which she cringed at.

"So sorry, no can do! You're already wasting valuable time here playing nanny to Todd. He's a big boy. He'll come home when and if he wants to. Oh, and Tea? Say goodnight to my little girl for me…though its never really the same unless it comes from her real Mommy…" She smirked to herself as Tea slammed down the phone in her ear.

"Mission accomplished." She always liked to have a little fun with that one. This time, Blair had impressed even herself.

Stay Tuned! Part Two coming soon to a Theater….er…web page near you!……….