PREVIOUSLY

Later, after Todd was settled on the bunk and Doyle was helping him clean up, Bo stepped outside the cell, rubbing his eyes. There would be hell to pay for this, he knew. After what he had witnessed through the gate that day, there was no doubt in his mind that sooner or later either Sykes or Manning would end up dead at the hands of the other man.

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Day after interminable day, Todd served his sentence. Although the time passed slowly, it was indeed passing, and as the midway point of his jail term came and went, the prisoner felt a bit of satisfaction as he got a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. The commissioner had relaxed his security measures, allowing him out of isolation a few times a week, and more liberal visiting and phone restrictions. The extra time with his daughter didn’t fail to lift his spirits, and his sister Viki and old friend Sam did their part in cheering him up as well. An occasional meal brought in by one of his loved ones had at least stopped Todd’s weight loss, although he was still way too thin for his height. Boredom more than anything else drove him to work out in the small jail recreation room, and bit by bit he was getting physically stronger.

His therapy sessions with Susannah continued, and gradually the horrors of the revelation from the past had started to fade. Although he still had nightmares, they were becoming less frequent. He still didn't sleep more than two or three hours at night, but finally he was feeling more rested and less wrung out when he awoke. Todd still liked to grouse and complain about the therapy, but secretly he knew it was helping him. Sure, he had a lot of rage and anger to work out—enough for a lifetime of therapy sessions. But every time he swallowed down a fit of anger, or let himself enjoy a gesture of affection, he realized he was getting a tiny bit better.

He spent long hours in his cell brooding on his latest obsession: John Sykes. The bruises from the beating he had suffered at the hands of the sadistic detective had faded, but the desire for revenge had grown to a point where it was almost all he thought about night and day. Bo had made sure that their paths never crossed again, even during Todd’s frequent treks through the squad room to and from his visits or therapy sessions. But along with his dreams for a future with Starr, or even Téa when he was being honest with himself, planning ways to make Sykes pay for the pain had given him something to live for.

One major disappointment in his life was his relationship with Téa. Driven by his fear for her safety, Todd had demanded she stay away from the tall detective. His ex-wife hadn’t taken any more kindly to orders from him than she ever had, especially since they were no longer married. Without telling her about the beating, which he was convinced could cause her to push Sykes over the edge, the only thing Todd had accomplished was to drive her even closer to the man he hated more than anyone else. He grew more and more frustrated as she failed to see the danger she was in, and the constant quarrels had put a damper on Téa’s visits to the cellblock. In an effort to avoid unpleasantness, they stuck to safe topics like sports and the weather, but Todd found it unsatisfying. He wanted more than anything to have another chance at a future with Téa, and he grew frustrated as they seemed to grow farther apart, rather than closer.

One afternoon in early August, Todd was making his way through the squad room, escorted by Officer Doyle. He had just finished a therapy session with Susannah, and was headed back to his cell, the usual steel bands binding his wrists. Although many other restrictions had been relaxed, he still was forced to submit to the hated manacles every time he left the confines of the jail. Another policeman asked for a moment of Doyle’s time, and Todd waited impatiently while his guard discussed the upcoming LPD barbecue with his fellow chairperson. Bored, he looked around the room and spotted Téa at one of the desks. She was seated opposite a young Hispanic man, whose hands were handcuffed behind him. A couple who appeared to be his parents were standing behind him, and a very young man in a suit and glasses fumbled in a briefcase next to him. Interested in the scene, Todd took a few steps toward them, and leaned against a column so he could listen without being seen. Doyle glanced at him, but figuring that he was waiting for a word with his ex-wife, he turned his attention back to the other cop.

The young public defender was clearly out of his league going up against Téa, and as Todd listened, she aggressively insisted on jail time for the young defendant, even though it was his first felony. Her intimidated opponent tried to use that as a bargaining chip, but Téa rolled over him by citing the kid’s long juvenile record. He flipped through some papers, but the lawyer was obviously inexperienced and over-worked. When the young man’s parents asked a question in Spanish using their son as an interpreter, Téa sat in silence while the non-Spanish-speaking lawyer spoke loudly and gestured to them like they were children.

“So do we have a deal, Counselor?” asked Téa militantly.

“But…but…Ms. Delgado, he just turned 18. Don’t you think jail is a little harsh? How about probation or some kind of restitution?” The young man pushed his glasses back up his nose.

Téa snapped her briefcase closed. “This is my final offer. Accept it or we go to trial.” The public defender blanched, obviously preferring dental surgery to facing Téa in a courtroom.

As the man turned to his client and started to explain the deal to him, Todd watched Téa, growing angrier by the minute. He couldn’t believe that she could be so hard-nosed toward this kid. Obviously, he and his family were not getting adequate representation from the public defender, and it looked like Téa was ready to take advantage of that fact, whether the offender got justice or not.

Todd stared in disbelief as he heard the lawyer tell the kid that he should take the deal. His mother became hysterical when she realized her son was facing a jail term, and the young defendant slumped down in his seat, staring in shock. Finally he nodded. Téa’s smug grin is what finally set Todd off. He stepped around the column and stomped to the desk before anyone could blink an eye.

“Don’t do it, kid!” he said through clinched teeth. “Don’t let them railroad you like this.” The young man’s parents were obviously terrified of this wild-eyed convict who had suddenly appeared in their midst, while their son looked up at him in confusion. Téa and the other lawyer were too shocked to react. Todd suddenly snatched a pencil and notepad from the desk and jotted down a number with his bound hands. He tore off the sheet and shoved it in front of the boy. “Call this number and hire Sam Rappaport. Tell him Todd Manning will pay for it.” Todd was suddenly yanked around by Doyle. To say that the policeman was angry would have been an understatement. He stepped up eye to eye with Todd and spoke in a low, barely controlled voice.

“Start walking toward the jail now, unless you want all your privileges revoked for two weeks.” Todd had no doubts that the guard was serious, and he struggled to control his anger. The two men stared into each other’s eyes angrily for a few moments, then Todd put his head down in defeat.

As he walked away, he said, “Make the call, kid.” After two steps he stopped and turned toward Téa. His lip curled up in contempt. “And you, Delgado,” he sneered. “What happened? You used to be so much better than this.” Téa’s mouth opened in shock at the insult. Her face slowly crumpled and she put her head down, eyes filling with tears. Doyle jerked angrily on his prisoner’s arm, hissing in disgust. Todd was pulled roughly toward the door, breathing hard as he struggled for control.

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Todd sat on his bunk, staring into the beady, amber-colored eyes of his daughter’s favorite toy. “Well, Roomie,” he said in a tired voice, “don’t tell Starr that her old man screwed up again.” Hearing the key scrape into the lock on the barrier gate, he quickly shoved the little stuffed rabbit under a pillow and did his best to look relaxed and unconcerned when Doyle planted himself just outside the bars of his cell. The guard fixed Todd with a hard stare, crossing his arms tightly across his chest.

“I think I’ve calmed down enough to let you live,” he said with narrowed eyes, and the prisoner slowly withered under his unrelenting gaze. “Do you know how much trouble you could have caused for both of us?” Todd fidgeted as he continued, “You’re lucky that the lawyers aren’t going to pursue this lapse of control with the commissioner. We have a very simple solution to behavior problems with prisoners—we keep them locked in their cells. I imagine you’d like to avoid losing all rights to visits or exercise.”

Todd climbed to his feet and faced the guard, his expression hard. “OK, you’ve made your point. It won’t happen again.”

“That’s right, it won’t, because I’m going to be on you every step of the way through the squad room from now on.” Doyle flung his arms out helplessly to the side. “I’ve tried to treat you with respect, Todd, and I thought I’d earned a little from you in return.”

“Look, Bill, I’m trying, OK? But….but I’m a screw up and sometimes I just can’t help it.”

“Try harder or you’ll find yourself on 24 hour lock-down again, and I’ll be on meter-reading duty.” Todd nodded miserably, running his fingers through his hair. “There’s more,” said the guard and Todd looked up. Doyle gestured to the open gate and Todd drew in his breath sharply as Téa slowly walked through, her arms folded across her chest and her eyes on the floor. Mentally, he braced himself for the verbal whipping he was about to endure. She looked up at him with her deep brown eyes and Todd could tell she had been crying. For a long moment they stared at each other, then Todd gestured at the cell door, indicating to Doyle that he wanted to be let out as he usually was during Téa’s visits. “Oh no,” said the guard, walking toward the exit. “Not in the mood you’re in today. You can stay right where you are.” Todd opened his mouth as though he’d like to protest, but Doyle had already gone through the gate. He put his head down in frustration, griping the bars.

“Look, Téa, save it,” he sighed. “I know I screwed up. I shouldn’t have…”

“You were right,” she snapped, and he stared at her in confusion. As he watched, her eyes filled up with tears and she brought a hand up to dash one away. “You only said what I’ve known for a long time, Todd. I’ve become a hard, vindictive bitch.” He shook his head.

“Don’t listen to me, Delgado. You know most of what I say is crap.”

“No, you were right on the mark this time. When Hank first offered me the ADA job, I thought it would be a chance for something new—to put what happened between us behind me. But I used my power to take my frustration out on all the criminals unlucky enough to draw me as a prosecutor. Sure, some of them deserved it, but others could have used a break I was unwilling to give to them. Like you, Todd,” she said quietly. She held up her hand when he started to speak. “Let me finish. I turned my back on my people, becoming one of the enemy when I should have been trying to help them. I sold out to the power trip more than I ever did when I got the money you gave me.” She sniffed loudly. “Your words today made me take a good look at myself, Todd, and I don’t like what I see.” Turning her back, she walked a short distance away. “I just gave Hank my resignation,” she said quietly.

Todd drew his breath in sharply. He was thrilled, but for her sake he tried to keep his joy in check. “What are you going to do now?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I was thinking about getting back to basics…trying maybe to make it up to the Angel Square community by taking some pro bono or low fee work down there. Maybe I’ll even open up a little office. But it will take some time to earn back their trust. I’ve let a lot of people down.” Todd looked at the floor.

“You didn’t do it alone, Delgado. I know I pushed you in that direction when I lied to you, then ran out. I made you distrustful.”

“No, I did that all by myself. You don’t get the blame for this, Todd.” She turned around and took a deep breath. “Now that I’m not the ADA, I won’t be able to come by here anymore.”

“You can visit me upstairs,” he said hopefully. He felt his heart sinking as she slowly shook her head.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” She braced herself to face the pain she was about to cause him. “I’m confused, Todd. A few months ago I had my life all planned out. But then you came back and suddenly things just didn’t seem so clear. I keep letting myself get drawn back into your life, and….and that’s not what I need.” She turned away so she couldn’t see his eyes. “I care about you, Todd, and I want you to be happy. But I know now that any chance of a relationship that we had died that night along with Georgie Phillips. I understand so much more about you now, and I think I can honestly forgive all the pain you caused me, knowing why you did it.” She sniffed deeply. “I hope in time you’ll be able to forgive me for what I’ve done to you. I want you to know that I deeply regret my part in putting you in here. I should have been willing to show you a little understanding.”

“Then don’t leave me here to rot, Téa! I need you!” he said, barely keeping control.

She turned toward him with a little smile on her lips. “No you don’t, Todd. You latched onto me as your salvation, but you don’t need me. You’re the strongest person I know. Just look at what you’ve endured in your life, and it hasn’t broken you. What do you have left on your sentence? Two months?”

“Two months, two weeks, three days,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You’ll get through it, Todd, and then you can start all over and build a good life for yourself and Starr. But without me.”

“This is about that sick detective Sykes, isn’t it?” he spat. “You’re so hot for him you can’t see what a nut case that guy is!”

An angry spark flared in Téa’s eyes. “I’ll have you know that John and I are friends, not lovers,” she spat, “and our relationship is none of your business.” She shrugged in frustration. “I know he wants more from me, but I’m not ready for anything else yet.” She softened as she saw the pain she was causing the imprisoned man, a man she was trying to tell herself she was over. “Todd, look,” she said quietly. “You and I—all we do is cause each other pain. Whether we are using fists or insults, shovels or jail cells, we hurt each other.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way, Téa. My therapy…I’m trying. Maybe we could get back what we almost had….we don’t always have to hurt each other.”

“I hope you’re right, Todd. Remember when you first were in here and you talked about getting along with each other? I think you said we could be ‘easy’ together? Well, that’s what I want now. I don’t want to fight or deal with tension every time we meet. I’d like to see Starr, and maybe catch up with you once in a while. I want to really put the animosity behind us and be able to move on with our lives.”

Todd looked miserable. “So this is goodbye then?” he said in a barely audible voice.

“Yes, for now,” she said, surprised at how much it hurt her to say it. She swallowed hard, and moved toward the barrier gate. Stopping, she turned and faced him. “I’ll be thinking about you, and I hope the therapy will help you to deal with your past and allow you to have a happy future.”

He swallowed hard and looked up at her through tear-filled eyes. “I want that for you, too,” he said. “A happy future.” She nodded silently, not trusting herself to speak. Turning her back, she moved to the gate and tapped on the bars. When Doyle opened, she stepped through without a backward glance.

Looking closely at his prisoner, the guard asked, “Are you all right?”

Todd turned away so the other man couldn’t see his face. “Don’t worry, Doyle,” he said bitterly, “there won’t be any more emotional outbursts from me." Drawing in a shaky breath he said, “Just leave me alone.” Recognizing that his charge was in one of his moods, Doyle retreated out the door. Trembling, Todd moved to his bunk and sat down. Pulling Mr. Rabbit out from his hiding place under the pillow he crushed him to his chest, staring at the floor with tears in his eyes.

TO BE CONTINUED

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