PREVIOUSLY

“I know you won’t but Todd, I’m just not ready to make love with you…” she replied.

He closed his eyes, trying so hard to internalize his disappointment.

“I don’t mean to hurt you Todd, I don’t…” she whispered.

Todd opened his eyes and let out a deep breath, “Téa – you’re my wife. And I love you. And I’ll wait until you’re ready. Just don’t leave me. And don’t leave our bed again…let me…help you…”

She nodded her head and reached for his hand, holding it, entwining his fingers within hers…

*************************************************************************************************

June 1999
Llanview General…

Todd walked down the halls of Llanview General. He had just finished talking to Susannah, and was still a little upset about their discussion…concerning children. And what children met to him. His cell phone rang. He reached in his pocket and answered it.

“What?” he demanded.

“Todd Manning?”

“Yes. Who is this?”

“The Clerk for the Family Court. I’m calling to tell you that you’ve been awarded unsupervised visitation rights with your minor daughter, Starr Manning. The Judge wants to meet with you and Ms. Cramer tomorrow at 9 am to settle on the schedule. Is that acceptable?”

“Acceptable? For now it is. I’ll be there,” said Todd hanging up the phone. He smiled. This was good news. Good news indeed.

As he approached DaBeirs’s door his smile drained away. DaBeirs wanted to meet with him to discuss Téa. He’d always felt nervous and uncomfortable around doctors – and although he was all right with Susannah, there was a still part of him that felt…well, uncomfortable. He walked into DaBeirs waiting room.

DaBeirs walked out into his waiting room and greeted a nervous Todd.

“Todd,” he said shaking his hand, “C’Mon in.”

“Thanks, ah…Doc…” he muttered following DaBeirs into his office, “So…ah…how’s Téa? Getting better?”

DaBeirs made a face.

“Téa’s getting better right? I think she’s getting better…” said Todd firmly crossing his arms, “I mean she was a wreak a few weeks ago…the pills help you know…she’s not as moody…you know…” continued Todd.

“Téa’s…well…kind of at a…roadblock, Todd…” said DaBeirs trying to soften what he had to say to Todd.

“Huh? I don’t get it…” said Todd firmly, “You know…I made her smile a few times…”

“Todd, Téa’s very confused about who she is. The miscarriage has only fueled those doubts. She doubts her ability to be a mother right now – very much,” stated DaBeirs.

“She’s been great with Samantha,” insisted Todd.

“Todd, she doesn’t think she’s worthy enough to be a mother! And I’ve tried! I’ve tried every trick in the book! I can’t break this barrier! Only Téa can…and only if she thinks…she has what it takes…only if she can come to understand…she’s not doomed…she still thinks the miscarriage was her fault…” said DaBeirs passionately, “Until Téa – can define herself…we can’t go forward…”

Todd swallowed, looking hard at DaBiers. He began to pace.

“So, what? I know who Téa is. Téa’s my wife! She’s my daughter’s step-mother. She’s beautiful…you know when she’s just…and her eyes tell me things…Téa…she’s smart! And she’s…sexy…she makes me…want to be better…she inspires me, you know… and “I” know she loves kids! That’s who Téa is!” fumbled Todd.

“That’s who she is in your eyes! But she doesn’t know who she is in her eyes!” summed up DaBeirs.

Todd slowly looked up into DaBeirs eyes, his fists clenching, “Téa wasn’t the only one…who lost a child. I did too. And you can’t understand – I want a family. A wife who loves me – and I got Téa for that. And I want kids…Shorty…and Sam’s a good kid…but more than anything I want Téa to be the mom! The mother of my kids and I know Téa’s got what it takes to be a good mother!” Todd stammered.

“But Todd…”

Todd’s face grew pained, “Téa…lost my child. The only woman…I want to have my kid…lost him…”

DaBiers took a breath.

“I lost him too, you know…” muttered Todd sadly.

It was silent between them.

“I will not lose Téa. I will not,” said Todd firmly through eyes welled up in tears.

“Todd, you’ve got to help me help Téa…define herself. Can you help me…push her…to realize she’s got to do this?” asked DaBeirs, “I can’t work with her on her other issues until we get over this…hump…” explained DaBeirs.

Todd took a very deep breath and nodded his head.

**********************************************************************************************************

Later that afternoon,
Carlotta’s Diner…

Samantha Alton walked into Carlotta’s Diner and sat down at an empty booth. She put her schoolbooks down and let out a breath. She kicked her head back resting it on the seat and closed her eyes…

“Dad says you’re nice…”

Her smile…is my smile…

Her eyes…are my eyes…

“I’m Téa Delgado…Manning…your biological mother…”

She’s got my eyes…my nose…

My mother is funny. She makes me laugh.

“I…love Todd, Samantha…

And she’s so smart…like me…

“Don’t be mad at your Dad Samantha…I’m not…”

And she’s sad…so sad…

Why is she so sad?

Does she love me? Does she really want to be my mom?

“Samantha?”

Samantha opened her eyes. It was Carlotta and Anton.

“Hi…Hi…” Samantha said getting her bearings.

“What were you thinking of?” asked Anton.

“Téa. My mom. I don’t…understand…” muttered Samantha, “And I want to…”

“What do you want to understand?” asked Carlotta.

“How come she doesn’t have pictures of her parents? Why won’t she sign the custody documents?” Samantha asked.

“Samantha…” whispered Carlotta.

“You know…when I’m with her…I can feel her…love…I know she loves me. But why doesn’t she…sign the documents? Why doesn’t she see me more often?” questioned Samantha.

Carlotta looked at Anton and took a breath.

Anton bit his lip.

“Being a mother is very important to Téa. It is important to her that she is a good one. Her own mother…abandoned her when she was seven. And…she wants to be the opposite of what she has known…” started Anton.

“Oh,” said Samantha, “Her mom…wasn’t a good mom, so she…doesn’t want to be like that?”

“Yeah, something like that but,” said Anton, “Losing the baby…made her doubt she could be…a good mom…”

“I can follow that, I guess,” said Samantha truly confused.

Anton smiled, “Maybe if you saw…firsthand, you would better understand.”

“What do you mean?” asked Samantha.

“I think you can better understand if you see what it was like for Téa growing up. I will talk to your father about taking you to New York when school lets out for the summer…” suggested Anton smiling at his daughter.

Samantha’s face lit up, “I’d like that.”

“Good,” said Anton.

Carlotta just frowned.

*************************************************************************************************************

Rodi’s…

Roseanne walked into the pub and saw Téa sitting in a lonely corner near the jukebox. Téa was dressed casually and sipping water. She appeared to be staring at a necklace in her fingers. Roseanne took a breath and walked over to Téa’s table taking the seat opposite of her.

“Hi,” said Roseanne.

“Hi,” replied Téa.

“What’s that?” asked Roseanne.

“Just a necklace,” said Téa.

“Whose?” asked Roseanne.

“My mother’s. It’s the only thing I have…of hers…” said Téa. Her voice was empty.

“I can’t figure you out,” said Roseanne crossing her arms.

Téa allowed a smile grin to escape, “I can’t figure myself out either.”

“Go figure,” said Roseanne. She ordered some water from the waiter, “So what now?”

“What do you mean?” asked Téa.

“Are you going to stop dwelling on your own mother and start being one to Samantha?” asked Roseanne frankly.

Téa looked genuinely hurt by Roseanne’s question.

“All right – you grew up without a mom. So did I. But does Samantha have too?” continued Roseanne.

“I’m here now for Samantha…” stammered Téa.

“No, you’re not. You’re a million emotions away wrapped up in your own hang-ups. Deal with it now Téa because if you don’t you’ll alienate that girl and she’ll come to despise you like you despise your mother,” finished Roseanne.

“I don’t despise my mother,” said Téa firmly.

“What? You don’t love her do you? Like Samantha loves you?” questioned Roseanne.

“No, I don’t,” said Téa softly, “You’re right. I’ve got to get my act together. I just don’t know how.”

“Figure it out fast Téa…” said Roseanne crossing her arms.

***********************************************************************************************************

The headquarters’ of FutureTech Software…
Downtown Llanview...

Todd stormed into FutureTech’s office building not saying a word to anyone – purposely striding toward one office. With one intention in mind. He blew past Cameron Alton’s receptionist.

“Who? Wait! You just can’t go barging in there…!” exclaimed the receptionist.

Todd flung open the doors to Cameron’s office, stood in the doorway, crossing his arms. Cameron stood facing Blair, holding a stuffed teddy bear and they were laughing.

“Alton, we need to talk. Now,” said Todd, his voice angry.

Cameron and Blair turned to face Todd.

“Is something wrong?” asked Cameron meeting Todd’s tone.

“Mr. Alton, should I call security?” came the receptionist’s voice from in back of Todd.

“No Helen. I’ll see Mr. Manning,” replied Cameron.

“Yeah – something is wrong. You. You and my wife. You have weaseled your way into my life – my wife’s life and made it a miserable hell…” said Todd very deliberately but slowly walking toward him.

Blair backed away and wrinkled her brow, wanting to watch and listen.

“I have every right to be in Téa’s life! I’m her daughter’s father…” said Cameron meeting Todd’s fiery eyes with his own.

“Oh. And is Blair letting you practice fatherhood on my daughter as well? Well, I won’t have it! Especially since I’ve been given unsupervised visits now!” said Todd grabbing the teddy bear out of Cameron’s hands and throwing it at Blair, “I am Starr’s father! Not you!”

Todd grabbed Cameron by the lapels of his suit.

“Stop it Todd!” exclaimed Blair.

“Shut up Blair!” said Todd not looking away from Cameron, “You. You made my wife – doubt. Téa doubts herself – about being a good parent and I despise you for that. I want that woman to have my child – my children – but she’s scared to death now of being a mother…” he paused inches from Cameron’s face, furious – angry, and it felt good to him to finally unleash all his pent up rage.

“Todd…” muttered Cameron, “I’m sorry…about…”

“Don’t lie to me. You’re ruthless Alton. And how do I know? You don’t become rich without being ruthless. You hang around Blair. You don’t fool me with your nice guy routine,” spat Todd shoving Cameron away from him.

“Now give me those custody documents Alton,” demanded Todd.

“What?” muttered Cameron.

“Give me those custody documents giving Téa joint custody of Samantha,” said Todd again – anxious.

“Why?” asked Cameron.

“Because I’m going to remind her about what it takes to be a good parent,” said Todd firmly, not adverting his fiery gaze from Cameron.

Cameron raised his eyes and sneered at Todd.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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