PREVIOUSLY

Dear Journal,
It’s beautiful tonight. The island is beautiful. Roseanne and I met my mother’s brother, José today. He seems nice but I think he’s looking at my mother through rose colored glasses. He says I look a lot like her. I have her eyes, much like how Samantha has mine. He says my mother was full of life. She was smart and loved to dance. I love to dance too. My parents got married because they had too. I think they liked each other but I don’t think they loved each other not how – Todd and I love each other. Maybe that’s the difference. Todd. I miss him. I do. I miss him but when I see him again, I’ll be a stronger person for this experience and I hope he forgives me. I’ll be stronger in every sense of the word. I’ll be stronger…for him.
She put down her journal and smiled.
Todd sipped his drink and watched her every move from the dark corner he was sitting in.

*************************************************************************************************

New York City…

That morning when Samantha woke up, she took a shower and got dressed. She was still feeling a bit shell-shocked from visiting that basement apartment her mother grew up in. After getting dressed, she checked in on Carlotta but the room was empty, however it did look like the bed had been slept in. Samantha called her father and talked to him. She realized that she did miss him – a lot. As soon as she hung up, there was a knock on the door and Carlotta and Anton walked in.

“Good Morning Mija,” said Carlotta smiling.

“Are you ready for breakfast? I know I am…” grinned Anton.

Samantha got up off her messy bed, “Sure.”

They went downstairs to the hotel’s dining room and ordered breakfast. Samantha stuck with cereal and toast.

“So where are we going today?” asked Samantha.

Anton took a sip of his coffee, “I thought I would show you our old hangouts including the community center I just helped to save.”

“Yeah…” muttered Samantha.

“Yesterday really bothered you, didn’t it Mija?” asked Carlotta.

Samantha took a deep breath, “Yeah, I guess it did. How many…people lived in there?”

“Well, when they first moved in it was Téa’s parents, Leon and Anna. Leon’s kids from his first marriage, Del and Rico and José, Téa brother. When Téa was seven, Del and Rico moved out and Téa’s mother left, leaving Leon, José and Téa. Actually, Rico moved out before that,” explained Carlotta.

“What did her Dad do for a living?” asked Samantha intently.

“He…was a janitor. He fixed the building’s leaky facets…” said Anton.

“Oh. And Téa’s mother?” asked Samantha.

“She worked in an alterations shop until she left,” said Carlotta.

Samantha looked confused.

“Anna died of cancer shortly after she left,” added Anton.

“Oh,” said Samantha, “How is Roseanne Téa’s sister, again?”

“Her father had an affair with my sister. My sister was married to Rico,” said Anton.

“Oh. Okay. Did Téa have a lot of friends?” asked Samantha.

“She was friends with my son, Antonio. She had a few friends but no one she was really close too,” answered Carlotta.

“What’s it like…to be poor?” asked Samantha.

Both Anton and Carlotta looked at each other and let out a breath.

“You…I mean for me, I always wanted more. Fame. Money. And I would do anything to get it. I would sacrifice anything for it. And perhaps…I sacrificed too much without realizing it,” said Anton passionately.

“What did you…sacrifice?” whispered Samantha.

“Love,” said Anton, “Your love.”

Samantha swallowed, “And Téa…did she sacrifice that too? Love?”

“Perhaps,” said Carlotta, “Or perhaps she thought…it was unattainable?”

Samantha wrinkled her brow, “How did she get through college if she was poor?”

“She got scholarships and student loans,” answered Carlotta.

“Were you ever in love with her Anton? Was she in love with you? Could we…have been a family?” asked Samantha. She had to know.

“You’re asking some pretty tough questions this morning,” remarked Anton.

Samantha twitched her nose, “I don’t mean them to be tough. Are you going to answer it?”

Anton ran his tongue around his mouth, “I will. Téa was beautiful. I was infatuated with her. She was…sensitive…and I loved her attention. But when she told me she was pregnant – I knew I was not in love with her. And I think it was the same for her. If we had married, I am sure the marriage would have ended…in divorce. As hard as it is for me to say, in a way part of me is glad you were adopted – because you knew the love of two parents – under the same roof.”

“Oh,” replied Samantha looking at her plate. Letting it sink in.

There was an awkward silence.

“Samantha, Téa had to make a lot of hard choices…” said Carlotta softly.

Samantha nodded her head. She understood.

*********************************************************************************************************

San Juan
Puerto Rico…

It was another hot, bright, sunny day. Roseanne wore a skirt and Téa wore another light summer dress to keep cool. They walked down a run-down street until they came to the address they were looking for. They paused and knocked on the door. An older gentleman answered the door, “Do I know you two?”

“I’m Téa…Delgado and this is my sister, Roseanne,” said Téa awkwardly.

The old man smiled, “Yes! Leon’s daughter! Daughter? Daughters…?”

“Delmonico? We spoke over the phone?” questioned Téa.

“Si,” he answered.

They hugged. Delmonico parted from Téa and looked at Roseanne, “You are Leon’s daughter as well?”

“Yeah,” said Roseanne with attitude.

“I don’t understand?” said Delmonico motioning for them to go into his humble abode.

“Call it an affair…of passion…” said Roseanne.

Delmonico looked confused, “Well, you have grown little Téita – into a beautiful woman – as is…your sister. Have you found what you were looking for?” he motioned for them so sit down on his dingy couch. They did.

“Not yet but I think I’m well on my way, she answered honestly.

“What will you do once you find what you’re looking for?” asked Delmonico.

“What will I do…?” questioned Téa.

Roseanne shot Téa a glance. Téa paused.

“Well, I guess…I’ll go back to Llanview…and Todd – and Samantha. And…I’ll do my best to be a good wife and mother.”

“That sounds like a good answer,” said Delmonico.

“So, ah, did you get along with my father when he was younger?” asked Roseanne abruptly.

Delmonico laughed, “You have his fiery spirit, I can tell, Téita is more tempered.”

“Really? I do?” muttered Roseanne.

“Si, you do,” said Delmonico as his rich laughter filled the room.

**********************************************************************************************************

Later, that evening…

Téa and Roseanne were on the patio of the hotel watching the sunset. Both had drinks. Téa held her journal, unopened in her lap. Roseanne sipped her drink.

“You enjoyed today’s visit,” commented Téa.

“Yeah, I guess I did. I think…I think Leon was an extremely complicated man,” said Roseanne.

“Yeah,” whispered Téa, “Tomorrow we do dinner with José and his family.”

Roseanne nodded her head, “Look, I’m tired. I’m going to my room. I’ll see you in the morning.” She finished her drink.

A tall, dark, handsome stranger wearing a floral print shirt and shorts approached their table, “Hello. I’ve noticed you two,” he said.

Roseanne stood up while Téa remained seated.

“We’re not interested,” said Roseanne crossing her arms.

“What she said,” added Téa with a grin.

“I take it that’s a hint,” said the man.

“Ah, Yeah…” said Roseanne with more attitude. She walked off.

The man looked at Téa, “I’m Santiago. Santiago Cruz.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Santiago but really, I want to be alone right now…” said Téa firmly.

“Right. Maybe we can do drinks some other time…?” he asked putting his hands in his short’s pockets.

“We’ll see. Maybe,” said Téa non-commitidly.

“Right. Adios,” said Santiago walking off.

He walked into the lobby and felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around.

“Do yourself a favor and leave those women alone,” said Todd firmly.

“Who are you? Their Guardian Angel?” spat Santiago.

“You could say that. Now do yourself another favor and follow my advice,” said Todd staring at Santiago.

There was awkward pause between them.

“I know your eyes,” said Todd. And with that, he walked off.

Santiago stood there and crossed his arms, “I have no intention of following your advice Amigo,” he whispered.

************************************************************************************************************

Dear Journal,
Roseanne surprised me today. She had a lot of questions for Delmonico but he was patient with her and answered everyone. Actually, Roseanne and I have been getting along well lately which kind of scares me a bit.

Also, while I haven’t found out much, it is interesting to hear how much I have in common with my mother. It’s scary. I don’t want to have so much in common. And the one thing I don’t want for us to have in common is abandonment. I’m not making sense. When I go back to Llanview, I’m going to make Samantha know how much I love and how much I’ll always be there for her. Unlike my mother. It’s funny to hear Uncle José say how much my mother wanted me – a girl. And funny how much she never showed me or told me. I may have given Samantha up for adoption but she’s here now and I’m going to tell her and show her just how deep my love is for her!

As deep as it for Todd. Maybe I should call him…just to hear his voice. He’s probably furious with me and won’t talk to me but I really want to hear his voice. I really do miss him but Todd must be…so…upset with me. I love you Todd. I do…

Téa put down her journal and asked a waiter to bring her a phone. Todd watched intently from his indiscrete corner of the patio. She dialed the phone.

CLICK. “What? Can’t you tell? I’m not home and neither is Téa. Leave a message and maybe we’ll think about returning your call.” CLICK.

“Todd? It’s Téa. Guess I missed you. I’m sorry. I just wanted…I don’t know what I wanted…I love you Todd.”

Téa hung up the phone and hung her head in her hand. Upset. Upset that she missed Todd. Upset with herself thinking Todd was furious with her. A minute or so past as she tried to compose herself.

The waiter walked up to her again, “Excuse me. There is a call for you. We transferred it to this phone.”

Téa looked puzzled and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Téa. It’s Todd.”

“Todd! I just called! Why didn’t you answer?”

“Ah, my hands were full as I ah…walked in the door…”

“How did you know to call me here?”

“Hey? What’s with 20 questions? What’s this stuff about you missing me?”

Téa sniffled, “I do you know.”

“You getting the whatever it is you need?”

“Yeah. And thanks for sending Roseanne. We’re actually making a go of it.”

“What are husbands for? I don’t want to see you upset you know…”

“See me?”

“Téa – look – I miss you too. Come home soon all right?”

“Yeah…Todd…”

“Yeah?”

“Te Amo Quierdo.”

“Right back at you Delgado. Whatever that met…”

CLICK.

Téa smiled.

Todd stepped into the shadows and put his cell phone away.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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