HAZY SHADE OF WINTER - PART TWENTY TWO

PREVIOUSLY

“I don’t…want to hurt you…” he muttered.
She leaned up, teasing his lips with hers, “I don’t want you to worry about it. Right now, more than anything, I want my fiancé to pick me up in his arms and take me into my bedroom and make love to me.” Her voice was smooth and reassuring.
He did exactly that.

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March 1999
Téa’s Apartment…

Téa had gotten up early and left. She had a busy day but had agreed to meet Todd in the judge’s chambers after lunch so they could arrange for a supervised visit with Starr.
Todd let the warm water of the shower cascade over his body. He was thinking of the previous night…
Her lips aggressively teased his body – his chest – she tenderly bit his nipples…
He remembered how a wave of pleasure would shoot through his body every time she did that.
“You’re mine, Todd…” she had said lunging at him, running her fingers over his chest…
He washed the soap off his face.
“Harder Téa… show me… show everyone… that I’m yours…”
With a look so fierce and a grin so sexy, she ran her fingernails over his chest, starting at his neck – leaving marks but setting his body on fire…
He could feel himself get hard in the shower as he relieved their encounter… “And you’re mine Téa…my wife…mine!” said Todd just as fiercely as he brought her body into his, sucking passionately again on her neck… He closed his eyes and leaned against the shower wall, grabbing himself, stroking himself…wishing she was here…the water caressing his body…
Again, he could hear her moans of pleasure and desire as he played with her – fingered her – her lips returning his intensity on her neck.
He moaned as he released into the shower and he leaned against the shower wall, basking in the intensity and sensations that flooded his body but clearly confused. Was he supposed to feel wrong about the aggressive night of lovemaking they shared? Why had it been so different from the weekend?

Carlotta’s Diner

Téa sat in a corner of the diner, drinking her coffee and reading the morning paper. She dressed conservatively and wore a scarf around her neck to hide the three hickeys Todd had given her the night before. Hank would be joining her any minute now. It was early and Cris Vega was the only other person in the diner.
Roseanne walked in and went up to the counter. She had noticed Téa in her booth. She put down her backpack.
“Téa’s over there,” whispered Cris, “What are you going to do about it?” “The right thing, I hope,” whispered Roseanne. She took a breath, turned around, and slid into Téa’s booth. Téa put her newspaper down and stared back at her sister.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I should never have spit on you,” said Roseanne, her voice shaking.
Téa frowned, “Roseanne, I don’t know what to think. Tell me – what kind of a relationship do you want with me?”
“I don’t know,” said Roseanne honestly, “But I do know I want you in my life.”
“What? So I can be your punching bag? I won’t allow that. Never again. And especially not in front of my daughter,” replied Téa.
“No. Look I… keep thinking back to when you were in the hospital for your burns. I didn’t want you to leave me. I still don’t,” replied Roseanne.
Téa allowed herself a slight smile, “So, what do we do know? If you want me in your life you’ve got to accept some basic things about me.”
“Like what?” asked Roseanne.
“Like the fact Anton and I had an affair and we have a daughter who wants us in her life. Like the fact Todd is in my life and I’m going to marry him again,” said Téa firmly.
“Why did you hide your pregnancy?” asked Roseanne.
“I didn’t hide it. You had just left for New Orleans…” added Téa.
Roseanne frowned, unable to determine if Téa was telling the truth.
“I’m not the one with the hang up Roseanne. I accept you for the person you are despite your faults…” said Téa.
“So what? What if…try as hard as I can, I can’t accept yours?” questioned Roseanne.
“If you want me – your sister – in your life – you’re going to have to,” finished Téa.
There was silence between them.
Roseanne stood up, “I’ve got to go or I’ll be late for class.” She walked over to the counter, grabbed her books and walked out.

Llanview General…

“Susannah!” bellowed Todd waltzing into her office. She stood up and grinned, crossing her arms.
“My favorite patient!” remarked Susannah. She looked at Todd intently, “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. Why do you ask?” shot back Todd.
“Your neck…” said Susannah, “Did you and Téa have a fight?”
Todd rubbed his neck and then pointed at Susannah, “No. This is what I’ve got to talk to you about…”
“What?” questioned Susannah.
“Is it all right to be aggressive – during sex – with the woman you love?” asked Todd clearly confused.
Susannah got very serious, “What happened Todd for you to ask a question like that?”
Todd wrinkled his brow, “Susannah – I’m confused…”
“I know. Now talk to me so I can help you out,” instructed Susannah.
“O.k. – over the weekend – Téa and I made love and it was…it was, you know, really girly…roses… champagne… strawberries… and then last night… we made love again only it was different…” he struggled with the words trying to explain himself. Was it making love what they did last night?
“How was it different Todd?” asked Susannah.
“It got… I hurt her. I gave her hickeys like some schoolboy and enjoyed it. And she… I told her to go harder – and she clearly enjoyed it. She had this wild look in her eyes – a desperation? Almost? She kept saying I was hers and she begged me not to leave her…”
“Did the events that happened when you got back from New York trigger this aggressive sexual urge?” asked Susannah.
“I dunno. Maybe. Téa’s got this hang up – this fear – I’m going to leave her. I don’t know what else I can do or say to convince her otherwise! I mean I keep saying I won’t leave and I asked her to marry me again…!” added Todd.
“It sounds to me like Téa’s fear is very legitimate to her. Téa’s not here right now but I think she believes everyone who truly loves her eventually leaves her….” said Susannah, “That’s what is behind her desperate pleas for you to stay with her.”
“But Susannah…last night really got to me… I was so… turned on – and so was Téa. Can we be like that?”
“Did you physically hurt her in any other way?” asked Susannah, “Did she hurt you in any other way?”
“No,” replied Todd, “But I could feel myself getting lost in myself – overwhelmed…”
Susannah let out a breath, “Sometimes Todd, there’s nothing wrong with such an aggressive physical expression of your love – but I would caution you, if you have this type of sexual relationship, it might become easy – too easy – for you to cross a line… especially if you’re not comfortable in your sexuality just yet.”
Todd nodded his head trying to let it sink in.

The Courthouse…

Téa waited for Todd to show up with Sam outside of the judge’s chambers. And as she waited, she drifted back to last night…
Todd’s lips were on her breasts…
“I need you Todd… Don’t leave me…”
“How could I leave this? You?” he said between breaths. He hungrily reached for her lips, pinching her nipples with his fingers… she moaned in delight…
“Téa!” came a cry. She turned around. It was Todd and Sam. She made eye contact with Todd. He walked into her space and put his hands on her arms.
Sam could tell they were into each other.
“I’ll be inside with the judge. Just don’t keep her waiting long,” said Sam going inside.
“You left early – we didn’t have a chance to talk about last night,” whispered Todd staring at her neck.
“I know. I’m sorry. I had work to catch up on and I had to meet Hank…” said Téa.
“About last night, I had to talk to Susannah. Are you all right?” he asked intently.
“I’m fine. I can see my fingernail marks on your neck. Are you all right?” she asked with concern. She was lost in his eyes, and he in hers.
“It’s nothing. Look, I…enjoyed last night. A lot,” said Todd.
“So did I,” said Téa bashfully smiling at him.
“So, I didn’t hurt you?” he asked again.
“No!” said Téa quickly, “I didn’t hurt you did I? Because those marks look…painful…”
“No!” said Todd, “I can see a hickey through your scarf…it’s awfully black…”
“I know,” said Téa, “And I really don’t care. The man I love gave it to me.”
“I love you Téa,” said Todd wrinkling his brow.
“I love you too Todd,” she replied.
They turned around and walked into the judge’s chambers. Blair was there with Nora.
“Great,” muttered Todd. They walked next to Sam who was standing just a few feet away from the judge.
The judge, Nora, and Blair stared at Todd’s neck. Todd could feel his face turn red.
“Todd, are you all right? You and Téa get in a fight?” asked Blair. The judge raised an eyebrow.
Both Todd and Téa could feel the sudden burst of color instantly drain from their faces.
“Mr. Manning, I’m interested in the answer to that question. Especially since I’m overseeing the supervised visits for your daughter. Your therapist has assured me that you can deal with that aspect of yourself which is violent. I want to ensure that your daughter will be going into a stable family environment – one without violence,” said the judge.
Todd turned to Sam. Sam just nodded his head. Todd looked at the judge and swallowed.
“It was an accident…” said Téa speaking up, taking Todd’s hand in hers, “You see, we were, a, playing…rough housing…”
“Rough housing?” asked the judge.
Blair giggled.
“We were in an intimate embrace when I lost my footing and fell. I reached out for Todd and caught his neck at an awkward angle,” said Téa firmly and confidently.
“I see,” said the judge.
Blair frowned.
“See, me and Téa are plenty stable,” added Todd, “You know we do couple things…”
Sam put his hands on Todd’s shoulders, “Relax, Boomer… I think everyone understands…”
The judge allowed a quick smile to escape her lips, “Where are you living Mr. Manning? I want to observe you and your wife in your house with Starr.”
“Ah, Your Honor, Téa’s not his…wife…” said Blair quickly.
Téa rolled her eyes.
The judge looked at Todd again, “Ah, who is this then?”
Todd made a face, “Téa and I found out recently that our marriage wasn’t legal. So, I asked her to marry me again and we’re engaged…” Todd took her hand and held it up for the judge to observe the engagement ring.
“That’s fine by me. I understand that Starr is familiar with Ms. Delgado?” questioned the Judge.
“Yes, Starr knows me,” added Téa trying hard to keep the contempt out of her voice.
“Good. Now, where are you living?” asked the judge.
“Me and Téa just bought a house. We move in next week,” said Todd.
“All right. Two weekends from now, after you move in, will be your first visit. Saturday at ten. Is that agreeable to both parties?” asked the judge.
“Fine by us,” said Todd.
“Sure,” said Blair frowning at Nora.
Todd and Téa just grinned at each other.

Later that afternoon…

The judge had recessed the court for twenty minutes. Téa and Hank stayed at their table going over notes. Anton approached the table.
“Téa, can I have a minute?” asked Anton. He put his hands in his pockets and let a casual smile escape his lips.
Téa turned to Hank.
“Go ahead,” said Hank shuffling papers.
Téa and Anton went to a discreet corner of the courtroom.
“What’s up Anton?” asked Téa.
“I got a hold of Cameron. He has agreed to let me have Samantha on Sunday.
He said you had her Saturday. He wanted me to tell you,” said Anton softly.
Téa adjusted her scarf, “Ah, I don’t see a problem with that.”
“Three is a crowd, no?” implied Anton.
“I guess. But it doesn’t mean we can’t all be a part of Samantha’s life.
Look, Samantha wants me and you in her life – only you’ve got it a bit tougher than me,” said Téa.
“How?” asked Anton.
“I don’t have to compete with anyone in the mother department,” said Téa.
“I see. Yes, I guess that is what I feel. How can I be a father when she all ready has one?” asked Anton sincerely.
“There’s two kinds of parents Anton. Biological ones and real ones. What we are right now are biological ones. Samantha’s given us a chance to be real ones but we can’t push it or rush it – we’ve got to go at Samantha’s pace and…we’ll need Cameron’s support along the way…” said Téa.
“How do I become a real parent without feeling competitive with Cameron?” asked Anton.
“I dunno. Look, I have an idea. Do something with Cameron on Saturday while I have Samantha – get to know him… take him to a basketball game or something. Work things out with him,” suggested Téa.
“And Samantha?” asked Anton.
Téa smiled, “You’ve got more in common with her than I do. You’re both artists. Take her to the art gallery,” added Téa.
Anton smiled, “That – is a good idea. I really want to be a good father to her.”
“Ah,” spoke up Téa, “Anton, Cameron is her father. You can’t take that away from her. But you can be her friend. First and foremost – just be her friend. That works. Trust me. I know.”
“I will try my best Téa,” said Anton taking her words to heart.
Téa reached out to him and cupped his cheek in her hand, “I’m sorry. Twelve years ago I took your daughter away from you without asking. The least I can do now is try to give her back to you.”
Anton put his hand over Téa’s and closed his eyes.
“Thank you,” he replied.

TO BE CONTINUED

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