Get your own FREE Home PageOLTL SATIRE-PART NINETY TWO
Satire - Part 92 - "Carlotta & Colin have CHEAP, MEANINGLESS sex..."
This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature. Initially published on 02 APR 2000. I’d like to dedicated this week’s satire to SEW and thank him for his wonderful ideas and input. SEW has been with the satire since the beginning in July 1998 and his friendship means a lot. Dim.
WHAT HAPPENS:
1. Will another woman mend SEW’s heart?
2. Poisonwood puts a spell on the wrong guy.
3. Hill, ET, TG, and Woodsy do Regis.
4. NP & PM have the sneak peek.
It was a busy morning at the OLTL Studios. JFP had to be at Regis’s studio at 8:30 with Hill, Woodsy, ET, and TG. Hill, ET, and Woodsy were in the main lobby where they were supposed to be waiting for JFP. Woodsy felt uncomfortable without the Picture Frame Boys and he clutched his coffee mug for dear life. ET was busy looking at the latest fashion magazines and Hill was on her cell phone ordering a batch of heavy-duty chapstick – just in case. Finally JFP showed up followed by two of her minions and puffing on three of her ciggies.
“All right, where’s Tim?” asked JFP.
“I’d bet money he’s in his dressing room making out with Newbie,” said ET looking up from her magazine.
Jill pouted and pointed to one of her minions, “Hey you, go get Tim.”
The minion ran off.
Just then Liz2 walked in with her Nasty Notepad. Buzzy accidentally left his tape recorder in the green room when they had interviewed McT the other day and sent Liz2 to pick it up.
“Hi Liz!” said Hill hanging up the phone.
“Hey Liz!’ said ET putting aside her magazine.
Liz2 walked up to the gang, “Hi guys.”
JFP rolled her eyes as she puffed on her ciggies, “Well if it isn’t Buzzy’s faithful assistant with her Nasty Notepad.”
“Hi to you too Jill. Got any scoop I can take back to Buzzy. Any news on Roger Howarth?” asked Liz2.
“Howarth who? Look, I hired a new stud just yesterday. Ty Treadway is gonna’ be the new Colin and he’s not afraid to take his shirt off,” gloated Jill.
Hill looked at ET and rolled her eyes. Not another buff stud for the show.
Woodsy was shocked, “Jill did you hire another new stud to compete with Bo’s air time?”
Jill grinned, “Let’s just say he passed the casting couch test.”
“What’s the casting couch test?” asked Liz2.
Jill, feeling mighty pleased with herself arrogantly let one of her secrets slip, “If they don’t pass the couch test I won’t even consider them.”
“What’s the couch test?” asked ET again mighty nervously. She hoped David Fumero didn’t have to take the test.
JFP just grinned as she puffed on her ciggies, “The couch test measures one’s kissing ability, muscle definition and tone, and one’s ability to pick the right cheese.”
“Huh?” asked ET.
Liz2 was furiously writing notes. What a scoop! Buzzy would be proud of her.
Hill turned to Erin, “What Jill’s saying is the guy has to be a good kisser, look good without a shirt on and be able to suck up.”
“Oh,” said ET.
Just then Tim Gibbs showed up. He was using one of those aerosol sprays to freshen up his breath. He walked up to Woodsy.
TG got that glassy look, “Five minutes with Newbie and I fell like…”
“Tim!” yelled Hill crossing her arms, “We really don’t want to know.”
Tim breathed on Woodsy, “How do I smell dude?”
“Like roses,” grinned Woodsy.
“But I used breath o’ mint…” he mumbled.
Just then the diaboletical Marlena DeLacroix from “Soap Opera Weekly” walked in with her usual swagger.
Liz2 took some more notes.
Jill blew smoke in Marlena’s face, “You’ll just have to wait like everyone else.”
“Ms. Phelps,” whined a minion, “We gotta’ get going or we’ll be late for Regis.”
“I mean it Marlena. Stay away from the fresh meat,” said JFP walking out the front door. Hill, ET, Woodsy, and TG followed her out.
Marlena turned to Liz2, “Crabby today, isn’t she?”
Liz2 just laughed. She wanted to hurry up and report back to Buzzy her amazing scoop on how the casting couch worked.
********************************************************************************************************
As Jill walked out the front door followed by her gang, she came across Dim and Tim Stickney who were signing autographs and posing for pictures with Skye_Kevin Fan, Tonya, and BenFan. SEW was there too. SEW and Tim Gibbs gave each other dirty looks.
“Dim! Tim! Let’s have a quickie chat,” said JFP waving a finger at them motioning for them to approach her.
Innocently Dim and Tim walked up to JFP.
“You know I finally got a look at your scenes you taped the other day. Botrina and RJ were suppose to fight and break up. Instead you’ve got ‘em kissing…”
“But Jill…” started Dim.
“Don’t “BUT” me. You two clowns need to play what’s on the script!” said Jill.
“Jill, Botrina and RJ are a popular couple. No one wants them to break up!” said TDS crossing his arms.
“I do. And I’m the BOSS,” said JFP.
Skye_Kevin Fan, Tonya, and BenFan got in JFP’s face, “We love Botrina and RJ Ms. Phelps. Don’t break them up,” they pleaded.
JFP rolled her eyes, “Are you true fans of One Life To Live?”
“Of course!!” they insisted.
“Are you on my fans feedback panel?” continued Jill.
“No,” they answered.
“Didn’t think so,” said JFP. She didn’t pay attention to fans who didn’t share her vision. She turned her attention to Dim and Tim, “Now consider this your warning you too! No more civil disobedience!!”
Dim and Tim looked at each other and exchanged a secret look.
Jill and the gang walked off across the street to Regis’s studio.
***************************************************************************************************************
Later on that morning…
At the ABC Commissary…
Dim, TDS, and SEW were hanging out in the commissary plotting new Dimmian tragedies to rain down on Tim Gibbs’s head when RC walked up. Her newfound shadow, JB, wasn’t far behind.
“Dim! Tim! You guys gotta’ help me. John Bolger keeps following me around everywhere I go. He thinks I like him since we got this red hot sex scene coming up…” said RC, “And all I want to do is get out of it.”
“I’ll save you,” said SEW heroically. He got up and got in JB’s face.
“Has it ever occurred to you that your annoying behavior is disruptive?” asked SEW.
JB looked shocked, “But I’m the show’s matinee idol. Everyone likes me ‘cos of dreamy eyes, studly man-breasts, and I’m an FOJ.”
“Maybe Ms. Christopher doesn’t want you following her around all the time for precisely those reasons. Maybe she thinks you don’t have dreamy eyes. Maybe she doesn’t like your man-breasts and she fines you annoying. I dunno maybe she doesn’t but maybe she does. Why don’t you go find another actress to suck the life out of. One who’ll gladly do an Insta-lust scene with you,” said SEW.
JB looked deflated. He turned around and sulked out calling Bambi his masseuse on the phone to help stroke his ego. SEW returned to the table.
“So, ah…” started RC, “How can I every repay you for your gallant actions?”
“Dinner tonight. At eight. At the Ritz,” said SEW with a devilish, flirtious grin.
“You’re on!” said RC.
*********************************************************************************************************
Meanwhile,
Behind the scenes at Regis…
JFP was dragging on her ciggies while she watched Regis interview her actors. She was proud of them all including TG.
Just then KB, MD, and JB walked up to JFP.
“What’s up Kale?” asked JFP.
“Is it true? Did you tell Liz2 the secret of the casting couch?” asked KB, his eyes wigging out.
JFP looked mortified, “Well, I did let it slip while I was gloating…”
“You’ve got a big mouth Jill!” said JB.
“It was an accident,” exclaimed Jill.
“Well how are we going to stop her from going public?” asked MD, “She wrote it all down on her Nasty Notepad.”
They looked at each other with blank looks on her faces.
“Well Liz is a girl right?” asked JFP.
“Yeah,” said KB.
“One of you go over there and charm that Nasty Notepad out of her. You’re all good-looking, handsome, to drool for guys. Mark you won for HOTTEST couple,” said JFP puffing hard on her ciggies.
MD, KB, and JB looked appalled.
“Liz won’t give us the time of day!!” exclaimed MD.
“Make her,” instructed Jill, “Use that roguish, boyish charm you display on TV.”
MD just rolled his eyes.
********************************************************************************************************
Back at the OLTL Studios…
Patty E., Dim, GT, KdP, EP dressed as Expensive Poisonwood Rosie, and the new chick, DV were hanging out around the coffee pot.
“I heard they cast Colin,” said GT.
“I wonder what he’s like,” mussed KdP.
Dim just rolled her eyes.
Poisonwood held up a charm made out of chicken bones, “This is it guys.”
GT looked befuddled, “What is it Poisonwood?”
“I’m gonna’ hex Kamar with this thing so he’ll be a charming and nice guy,” grinned EP.
“You ever try it out before?” asked KdP.
“Well no, but I’m sure it will work,” said EP.
“You guys are weird,” said DV.
“How long is it supposed to last for?” asked Dim.
“24 hours,” said Poisonwood.
Just then George the Cameraman walked in, “Hey guys, Kamar’s coming…”
“George, you’re a sweetie!” said EP.
“You gonna’ hex him now?” asked Dim.
“Why not?” said EP. She held up her charm. A guy rounded the corner. Poisonwood threw her charm and it hit Mark Derwin square in the chest. Just then Kamar walked in, snarled at Poisonwood and walked off.
MD picked up the chicken bone charm and gave it back to Poisonwood, “Here you go Miss Wood. You shouldn’t throw things at people. It’s not nice.” He walked off.
Everyone looked flabbergasted.
“Poisonwood! You hexed the wrong guy!” exclaimed Patty E.
Just then a male Adonis walked in the room and right up to the coffee pot crew, “Hi. I’m Ty Treadway. I’ll be playing Colin.”
Dim drooled.
GT slobbered.
Patty E’s eyes bugged out.
DV, who was new to the game, passed out. No one cared.
KdP took a double take.
“If you need a dressing room you can use mine…” stuttered Dim.
“That’s mighty nice of you. Thanks. I just might take you up on the offer,” said Ty.
***********************************************************************************************************
It was late in the evening. Dim was in her dressing room drinking H2O with TDS, JSS, and Expensive Poisonwood Rosie.
“I’m pi$$ed. I spent megabucks on that hex and I hexed the wrong guy…” fussed Poisonwood.
“That stinks,” said TDS.
Just then CC walked in, grabbed a box of ciggies, muttered “Hi Dim,” and walked out.
“What’s up with her? She didn’t even stay to be social…” said JSS pointing to the door.
“She’s in love…” said TDS.
“Or lust. I’m not worried. Newbie will come around…” said Dim.
Just then Ty Treadway walked in with his duffle bag, “Hi Dim. I’m here to take you up on your offer.”
Dim drooled, “Make yourself comfortable.”
JSS got jealous, “Should I be worried Dim?”
Dim walked up to JSS, “Of course not but I figured with Newbie hanging out with Tim Gibbs all the time I could use the company.”
TDS took JSS aside and whispered into his ear, “Dude, if I was you I’d be worried. You better start whining and dining your girl if you want her to stick around.”
Just then NP and Patty M walked in holding up a snicker’s wrapper.
“We got the sneak peek,” said NP.
“Does someone else stay here?” asked Ty innocently.
Everyone looked at him. Patty M looked up and even she became weak in the knees.
“CC The Newbie but she’s not around much,” said Dim.
“Ah…” fumbled Patty M as she looked at the wrapper, “Jill plans on having Bo bump nasty with Melanie and Carlotta and Colin have cheap, meaningless sex…”
NP scratched his head. That last part wasn’t in there.
“Who is Carlotta?” asked Ty.
“Me,” grinned Patty M.
“Hey!” said Poisonwood, “Since when does Carlotta have sex on this show?!”
“Since now,” said Patty M crossing her arms.
Just then AngelaB, the trusty and dependable UPS girl walked in with her weekly postcard for Dim, took one look at Ty Treadway and began to feel her pulse quicken and her face got red.
“Ah Dim… here’s your postcard. Who is the new guy?” asked AngelaB.
“Ty Treadway. Nice to meet you,” he said holding out his hand. AngelaB just blushed as she shook his hand vowing never to wash it again.
Finally Dim picked up her postcard. Flo had written Ty’s name on it and a “+” sign “no shirt” the “=” sign and HOT!! HOT!! HOT!! Dim just nodded her agreement.
“So Ty, has anyone told you that Colin is supposed to be Todd’s long lost twin brother?” asked TDS.
“I think Jill mentioned it,” said Ty.
“Jill will pay!” said Dim.
NEXT:
1. MD tries to charm Liz2.
2. Dim and TDS replace Jill’s snickers wrappers with 3 Musketeers.
3. Mirror McT drools over Ty.
4. Mail call is back.
5. Bo gets some. Will Carlotta?
6. NP and Patty M have the sneak peek.
WHAT HAPPENS:
1. SEW finds out about CC and Tim Gibbs.
2. JR and Liz2 interview McT.
3. RJ is jealous of Botrina.
4. Patty E and DF bust up the interview.
5. Jill GLOATS.
6. Diva Hickland gives CC diva lessons.
7. NP and Patty M got the sneak peek.
It was early in the morning. Dim was in her dressing room drinking coffee and cussing at her scripts. EP, dressed as Poisonwood Rosie, was learning more voodoo curses to use against the Supreme Egomaniacal Demi-Goddess, Cruella DePill. GT and ET were looking at new fashion magazines to find new make up to try out. Hill was answering fan letters. Patty E was trying to come up with a plan to sabotage Jill’s Colin is Todd’s long lost brother plot.
“Anyone seen CC lately?” asked ET.
“She’s still hanging with Tim Gibbs,” said Dim, “I just don’t understand the power he has over chicks.”
Just then SEW, who used to be dating CC before Tim Gibbs kissed her, burst into Dim’s dressing room. SEW was pi$$ed. He was dressed in his trademark romantic man in black attire. His eyes betrayed how upset he was. His hair was disheveled.
“Dim!” he yelled, “I see the need to rain down a million Dimmian tragedies on Tim Gibbs’s head!!”
Everyone looked at SEW in shock. Usually he was so suave and mild mannered.
Dim looked at her friend in shock, “Sure SEW, whatever.”
“So Newbie dumped you for Tim Gibbs, huh?” asked HBS crossing her arms.
SEW looked sad, “I don’t understand. I’m suave. I’m sophisticated. I’m romantic…”
“SEW you are one hot guy. Newbie’s been smoking too much of my herbal ciggies,” said Poisonwood sweetly, “I’ll try out one of my new voodoo curses on him if you want.”
“You know, we can put some superglue in his hair gel,” said ET and GT.
“I can revoke Kevin’s credit at the Palace if you want,” offered Patty E.
“Aw…you girls are the sweetest,” said SEW.
“SEW, I just gotta’ know – where were you? CC thought you dissed her,” said Dim.
SEW crossed his arms, “I was on a hush-hush secret mission negotiating a contract in a small hick town in Ohio.”
“Cool,” said Dim, “Okay…here’s where we can start. Before Sue left…”
Dim called a football huddle and whispered her plan to the gang.
*********************************************************************************************************
Dim, dressed in a power suit, walked onto the set of Carlotta’s diner. KdlR, DF, PM, RSW, and NP were all ready there. George was making a new bet with the DePaivas about who was going to get their brain back next. The DePaivas had raked in plenty of cash when Blair got her brain back. TDS, looking fine, walked in and up to Dim.
“Can you believe this $hit Dim?” said TDS frowning at his script.
“Believe me, you weren’t the only one cussing at this drivel,” said Dim making a face, “George should be betting on who’s going to lose their brain next.”
“Let’s adlib,” suggested TDS with a naughty grin.
“Okay,” said Dim.
Just then the director walked in and yelled ‘Action!’. The scene began.
Carlotta was serving up flan to Hank. Cris was waiting on tables. Antonio was giving goo-goo eyes to Botrina who was giving Cris her order. RJ walked in and saw Botrina flirting with Antonio. He walked up to Botrina as Cris walked away.
“Hi RJ,” said Botrina.
RJ sneered, “Stop giving my mortal enemy goo-goo eyes Trina!”
Botrina got defensive, “It’s not like that RJ.”
RJ winked at her and started yelling, “Stand up woman! We’re going home!!”
Botrina winked at RJ, “Yes, O Supreme egomaniacal control freak of them all.” She didn’t take orders well.
RJ grabbed Botrina at the lapels of her power suit and pulled her up out of her seat. Immediately Antonio the hero and Bo, who had just walked in, shoved RJ away from Botrina.
“I swear to you RJ if you abuse my daughter, you’ll pay!” yelled Bo. Bo always had to be right.
“Yeah!!” grunted Antonio, “Botrina deserves a real man!!”
“And I’m not?!” exclaimed RJ.
Botrina got in Antonio’s face, “Are you trying to tell me you’re a real man?”
Antonio looked at Botrina like she wasn’t supposed to say that. Hank walked up behind RJ.
“C’Mon little brother, let’s go,” said Hank.
RJ spontaneously looked at Botrina. Botrina smiled at RJ as the magic kicked in. It looked like they were conspiring against the world.
“RJ! Don’t go!” exclaimed Botrina.
They exchanged THE LOOK. Botrina ran into RJ’s arms and they passionately kissed.
“I hate it when we fight,” whispered Botrina.
“Me too,” said RJ.
“CUT!” yelled the director, “That’s not how the scene ends!! RJ is supposed to walk out with Hank!!”
“That’s not what it says in my script,” said TDS.
“Yeah,” confirmed Dim.
The director pouted.
********************************************************************************************************
Jonathan Reiner from TV Guide and his assistant, Liz2 and her Nasty Notepad walked into the Green Room. McT had called JR and Liz2 to give them an exclusive interview about Viki’s breast cancer storyline. (unbeknownst to them, it was really Mirror McT who called behind JFP’s back.)
McT walked in with a devious smile on her face, holding scripts that were pending her review.
“McT!” exclaimed Buzzy, “It’s good to see you again!! I brought you some chocolate,” he said thrusting a box of chocolates at her.
“Buzzy, you sweetie,” said McT, “Thanks.”
“So McT,” said Liz2 with her Nasty Notepad at the ready, “What did you think of Roger Howarth? You want him back on the show?”
“Liz, cut McT some slack. This interview is suppose to be about Erika Slezak,” said JR.
“It’s okay Buzzy,” said McT graciously, “I love Rog. I’d love to write Todd for him. Reminds me of Adam Chandler. Now, let’s talk about Viki…”
“Liz, prepare to copy…” instructed Buzzy.
Liz2 made a face.
“McT, give us the scoop on Viki…” said JR.
“Here goes,” said McT pulling out a note card from her pocket, “The character of Viki has always dealt with enormous obstacles in her life with courage and dignity…Viki’s journey is ultimately a story of love and hope.”
“You sound like Jill,” said Liz2 frowning.
“Really?” said McT, “You know, she gave me this card in the hallway…”
Buzzy frowned too.
Just then Patty E and DF walked in.
“Buzzy! Liz! It’s great to see you guys again…” said Patty E like she was eating cheese.
“Patty! David!” said JR, “What’s up?” he asked standing up and shaking their hands.
McT frowned.
“Dude…like Renee and Cris have a scene together coming up next week,” said DF, “And me and Patty wanted to tell you about it. I’ve been working out at the gym for it too.”
“Cool, let’s hear it,” said Liz2 all excited-like.
“Hey! What about me?!” asked McT.
“Don’t you know Renee and Cris are HOT. They have Undeniable Chemistry…” gushed Liz2.
McT just sulked. She got no respect.
Meanwhile, in Diva Hickland’s dressing room…
CC The Newbie, puffing on a ciggie and in a rare moment when she couldn’t be found in Tim Gibbs’s dressing room walked into Diva Hickland’s dressing room for her first lesson diva lesson from CH. CC looked totally spaced out.
Diva Hickland looked up from her bureau. She was making notes for her new “Product Queen” column.
“Newbie, you all right?” asked Diva Hickland, “You look a little…distracted.”
“Uh-huh,” said Newbie. Her eyes were totally glazed over.
Diva Hickland wrinkled her brow, “Okay Newbie. You ready for your first lesson?”
“Uh-huh,” said CC.
“You sure?” asked Diva Hickland getting up and looking CC in her glassy, foggy eyes.
“Uh-huh…” said CC.
“Okay…” said Diva Hickland, “First rule of thumb…put out the ciggie. Divas are never caught dead smoking…”
“Uh-huh…” said CC puffing hard on her ciggie still.
Diva Hickland put her hands on her hips and stared at CC, “What is wrong with you Newbie? Are you in lust or in love?”
“Uh-huh…” said CC.
“Maybe you’re under a spell? Should I get Poisonwood to see if she can crack it?” mussed Diva Hickland.
“Uh-huh…” said CC.
Diva Hickland just wrinkled her brow.
Meanwhile, in JFP’s office…
JFP was in her office puffing on 3 ciggies and admiring her platinum picture frames. KB, MD, TG, on a rare moment when he wasn’t making out with CC in his dressing room, JB, RC, and RSW were all hovering around her.
“Guys!! We did it!! We survived that abominable TnT week and managed to pull off FIVE Emmy nominations!! That will show all those miserable internet posters on Mediadomain who are so negative about the show a thing or two!!” GLOATED JFP sucking back on her ciggies.
“Yeah!! I mean you didn’t even block vote and we still got nods!!” said TG sticking his small chest out so it looked bigger than what it really was. TG and Jill did the “Emmy Dance” to Twilight Zone music.
RSW looked panicked. He couldn’t decide what scenes to send in. He really liked the one with the coffee cup. Him and MD were reviewing tapes in the corner and snickering.
JB walked up to RC and held up a blue periwinkle thong and a florescent glow in the dark green one, “Which one do you want me to wear for our big love scene?”
RC made a face, “How about a set of boxers with the opening sewed up?”
Just then Dim flung open the door and walked in with SEW. NP and Patty M inconspicuously followed them in.
“Jill, where’s Tim?” asked Dim putting her hands on her hips.
“Dim, take a pill and show some respect,” said JFP crossing her arms with a ciggie hanging out of her mouth.
“Yeah. Tim is an Emmy nominee!!” added KB defensively, “I see you didn’t get nominated this year.”
TG strutted in front of Jill’s desk like he was no chicken. He was proud as a peacock and smiled.
NP whispered to Patty M, “If they keep hovering around that desk we’ll never get a sneak peek.”
Patty M. shrugged her shoulders, “I bet if we walk right up to her desk, Jill won’t notice.”
“Okay,” said NP.
They walked up to JFP’s desk. She didn’t notice them.
“Tim, stole my woman!!” said SEW holding up TG’s favorite Hulk Hogan picture. Before she had a left Sue Misner had told Dim it was TG’s favorite picture and Tim admired Hulk very much. Dim held up a lighter.
“And until I get her back, you’re gonna’ pay!!” said SEW.
“No!! Not my Hulk Hogan picture!!” said TG, his eyes growing wide. He didn’t know what to do. SEW was bigger than he was.
Dim lit the lighter and TG’s picture went up in smoke. TG broke down and cried like a baby.
NP and Patty M grabbed a handful of wrappers and walked out. Jill looked shocked.
“I ain’t finished with you Gibbs…” hissed SEW.
SEW and Dim walked out.
*********************************************************************************************************
It was late in the evening. Dim, EP, dressed as Poisonwood Rosie, TDS, JSS, and SEW were hanging out in Dim’s dressing room. Dim was drinking H20.
Poisonwood was ordering special herbs for her voodoo potions off the internet.
TDS was coloring his scripts purple.
JSS was flirting with Dim.
SEW pouted, “I want my woman back.”
“Don’t worry SEW,” said Poisonwood, “Diva Hickland thinks TG put CC under a spell and it’s my job to look into it.”
“What you need SEW is a new woman,” said TDS.
“Robin Christopher is a cutie…” said JSS, “I think she’s not too fond of her and JB doing an Insta-lust scene…”
“We’ve got a few Dimmian tragedies planned for Tim,” grinned Dim.
Just then NP and Patty M walked in holding up a snickers wrapper.
“Guys, we got the sneak peek,” said NP grinning.
“Hook us up,” said Dim.
Patty M read, “Ang, I’m going to make all our nominees give interviews. Erin, Tim, Hill & Woodsy are booked fro Regis next week. Lots of press coming up!! Love, Ciggies, and Cheese, Jill.”
“YUCK!” said JSS.
Just then AngelaB, the trusty and reliable UPS girl walked in and gave Dim her weekly postcard. She rubbed SEW’s shoulder in a show of moral support hoping to cheer him up.
Dim read, “Dear Dim, There’s plenty of fun in the sun out here in L.A. Lots of stuff to do. Tons of auditions. Jill’s planning a big media blitz so beware! Love, your ex-roomie, Flo.”
“Flo is such a sweetie,” said JSS.
“We’ll see Flo again,” said TDS.
“Jill Will Pay,” hissed Dim.
NEXT:
1. Will another woman mend SEW’s heart?
2. Poisonwood puts a spell on the wrong guy.
3. Hill, ET, GT, and Woodsy do Regis.
4. More Diva lessons.
5. Botrina and RJ have another fight.
6. NP and PM have the sneak peek.
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