OLTL SATIRE-PART SEVEN

An OLTL Satire – Part VII – "Flo…You're drinking…A BEER?!"
This is a work of fiction. This is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
1. Max tries to get out of therapy
2. JFP's revenge on SS, LK, and Dim for stealing her ciggies.
3. Asa gives Botrina a promotion and Kevin is jealous.
4. Flo got scoop (Flo always got scoop)

Dim walked into her dressing room after a morning filled with blocking.
Usually her and Flo chugged some water and spilt a sandwich for lunch but Flo wasn't there. Dim went to their mini-frig to look for some water but thee was none. How strange. Dim had stocked it yesterday. Dim saw a note on her table.
"Got your H20 hostage. If you want it, come and see me. JFP."
Dim raised an eyebrow. Was JFP trying to put one over on her? The Master?
Just then SS walked in.
"Dim, I found this note in my dressing room saying JFP is holding my cell phone hostage," said SS.
Just then LK walked in.
"You won't believe it but JFP left me a note saying she's holding my favorite eye shadow hostage," said LK.
"Girls, I think this is JFP's lame attempt at getting back at us for stealing her ciggies and Another World bible," said Dim, "I suggest we pay her a visit and show her whose boss."
Dim, SS, and LK left.
Dim, SS, and LK barged into JFP's office. PL was all ready there.
"Girls. Just in time for mail call," said JFP. PL was holding a stack of letters.
"Screw mail call. I want my H20 back!" said Dim.
"And I want my cell phone!" said SS.
"And I want my eye shadow!" said LK.
"Mail call comes first. Pam?" said JFP.
"Since when did I become a mail clerk?" said PL, "I've got a show to write."
"You want to keep writing for that show for another six months?" asked JFP.
"All right," said PL, "Fans are complaining that we've been dragging this therapy thing w/TnT on long enough. They want TnT together. Now. The fans get highly irate when Sykes even touches Téa. I've got a zillion 'SMACK' letters here…"
"AND?" said JFP, "Keep reading…"
"As you know, Botrina is…" started PL.
"Fresh, funny, and best newcomer…" said JFP, "How come all the mail we get is about TnT or Botrina? We don't even get Bo and Nora mail anymore!"
SS, LK, and Dim all clustered around JFP's desk, closing her in.
"I want my H20. Now." said Dim.
"And I want my cell phone. Now," said SS.
"And I want my eye shadow. Now," said LK.
"How does it feel to want girls?" asked JFP.
"Jill. Give. Me. My. Water. Now," said Dim, "Or. Else."
Jill frowned and produced Dim's case of H20, SS's cell phone, and LK's eye shadow from underneath her desk.
"Oh, here, you party poopers," said JFP. SS and LK left with their goods.
As Dim was walking out JdP walked in and took Dim by the arm walking her back into JFP's office.
"You owe me," muttered JdP to Dim.
"Jill. Jill. I'm sick. I'm not feeling well," said JdP.
"Got PMS?" asked JFP with a ciggie hanging out of her mouth.
"What's that?" asked JdP.
Dim rolled her eyes.
"Oh, just look at him! He's flush…" started Dim.
"No. Don't buy it. You two have a therapy session in an hour. Don't be late. Can't have too much of a good thing you know…" said JFP shooing them out of her office.
Dim walked onto the set ready to tape. PC was all ready there.
"How's my favorite high power suit executive granddaughter doing?" asked PC.
"I just got done taping my first therapy scene w/JdP. It was EXHAUSTING," said Dim. Just then TG walked in.
"Hi Dim," said TG.
"Tim. What are you doing here?" asked Dim.
"I'm in this scene. Remember?" said TG.
"Ah no, I've had a lot going on," muttered Dim.
"Now, remember," said the director, "When Asa lavishes Botrina with attention, Kevin gets jealous. This jealously will start the next generation Buchanan feud…"
Everyone nodded their heads and the director yelled for action.
"Botrina!" bellowed Asa as he walked into her office. Kevin followed him in.
"G.D.!" said Botrina getting up from behind her desk.
"I've just looked at the 3rd quarter profits. Profits are up. Way up," said Asa.
"I told you I was…good," said Botrina.
"And because you are, I'm giving you a raise. Executive V.P. I want you to oversee…everything," said Asa.
Kevin was aghast, "Her? But she's a… girl. I thought it was my responsibility as the first born…"
"Kevin. Stuff it. Botrina is a Buchanan after my own heart. She brings in money… lots of money and she's not afraid to back away from a good catfight.
Now, if only she wouldn't go out with that shyster Max…" said Asa smiling at Botrina.
Botrina gave Asa a smirk, "G.D. that shyster Max is none of your business. He's my business."
"But I was the first born!!" pouted Kevin.
"But what have you done lately?" asked Botrina, "I've been adding to the family fortune, unlike you.'
Asa put his arm around Botrina's shoulders, "Now, now, Botrina. Kevin is family. Be nice."
"Want a bone?" asked Botrina.
Kevin sneered, "So tell me about therapy."
Now it was Botrina's turn to sneer at Kevin.
"Kids," said Asa, "Shake hands and make up."
Botrina and Kevin shook hands and Asa left.
"I am going to prove you are a fraud and are playing on Asa's sympathy," said Kevin bitterly.
"I don't mean to bust your bubble Kevin but I'm more Buchanan than you ever will be. At least I know how to ride a horse," said Botrina putting her hands on her hips.
"You just wait Botrina Tran Buchanan," said Kevin crossing his arms, "I'm going to give you a bad write up in the Banner."
"I'm so scared of my big bad cousin, Kevie-Wevie. Write me up. I dare you," said Botrina, "Now get out of my office."
Kevin slinked out of Botrina's office.
It was rough day for Dim. Dim wandered into her dressing room late. Flo was there but instead of chugging water, Flo was chugging…
"Flo!" exclaimed Dim, "You're drinking… A BEER?!"
"Want one?" asked Flo holding up a rot gut nasty American beer.
"You shouldn't drink that. I know a good German beer if you desire to do something so…out of character," said Dim.
She took the beer Flo offered and chugged it down.
"Hypocrite," said Flo laughing. Dim laughed too.
"Well, I don't turn down alcohol when it is offered to me. BUT don't you have any more scenes to tape today?" asked Dim.
Flo nodded her head, "I've only got one scene left."
"And the scoop is?" asked Dim.
"Téa kisses Sykes. And enjoys it," said Flo frowning.
"Ewewewewew…" muttered Dim, "So why are you drinking a beer? To work up courage?"
"No – bad breath. I figure if I gotta do this kissing with w/JB maybe I can convince him I'm a bad kisser w/horrible breath and he'll got JFP begging not to kiss me anymore," said Flo.
"This is not like you Flo. Usually you're friendly, down to earth, bubbly, personable…" said Dim.
"Dim, I'm just not happy right now…" started Flo.
"But Flo, it's not like you to act like me – devious and underhanded," said Dim.
"Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do…"
"Well, I'll help in anyway I can. What can I do?" asked Dim.
"Got a year?" asked Flo.

NEXT:
1. Botrina hangs out w/ her brother, Drew and causes trouble.
2. PL has the mail – again.
3. Ratings go WAY down. Can you guess why?
4. Dim hatches a plot to make JFP paranoid
5. Flo got scoop (Flo always got scoop)