“Your Snickers Wrappers for Robin…”

This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature. Initially published on 20 March 1999.

WHAT HAPPENS: 1. Renee and Cris have a hot scene at the palace. 2. Botrina flirts with Sam. 3. KdP and Dim plot against JFP. 4. Flo got scoop.

It was early in the morning. Dim was in her dressing room drinking coffee and going over her script, nodding her head in disgust. Flo walked in with a smile on her face, happy as a clam. “Hi, Dim,” said Flo pouring herself a coffee. “Hi Flo. You’re pretty happy today…” said Dim. “Yeah. I don’t have a scene with John Bolger today. No leering…” said Flo. “I know. Téa and RJ flirt while Botrina flirts with Sam and Will! Who writes this DRIVEL?” asked Dim. “Jill?” suggested Flo, “But right now I don’t care! I’m just happy to have a scene without John hanging all over me.” There was knock on the door. KdP opened it and stuck her head in, “Girls, I ’m worried. Robin’s not back to work yet.” “C’Mon in Kassie,” said Flo, “Want some coffee?” “Sure,” said KdP walking in. “Robin must have made Jill pretty mad…” said Dim, “We gotta get Jill to get Robin back to work.” “How do we do that?” asked Kassie. “If we steal her snickers wrappers, Jill won’t be able to remember what she wrote - she’ll have to trade with us - wrappers for Robin…” grinned Dim. “Oh, you’re good…” grinned Kassie. They evilly laughed.

TDS, Dim, Flo, JSS, PE, DF, EP, and KB walked on the palace set. The director yelled ‘Action!’ and the scene began. RJ and Téa were eating dinner. “I’m sure glad you asked me out RJ. This is a nice change of pace,” said Téa. “Yeah. It’s nice to see you laying off the cough drops,” said RJ. “So, what’s up with Botrina?” asked Téa. “We’re fighting again. She told me she had to flirt with Sam and learn his secrets and report back to Asa and Bo. And I don’t like my woman anywhere near those FOJ’s - ah, I mean, Rappaports…” explained RJ eyeing Sam and Will who were also eating dinner. In walked Botrina in a gorgeous power suit. Her and RJ exchanged frowns and Botrina walked up to Sam and Will. “Hi guys. Can I join you?” she asked sitting down. Will’s eyes bugged out, “Sure.” “What’s your trick Botrina? A Buchanan hanging with us Rappaports?” asked Sam cynically. “Sue, why not? I’m not your typical Buchanan…” said Botrina grinning at Sam. “You’re sure not. You’re better looking than Asa and Bo,” said Will flirting with her. Botrina smiled at Will, “You know, I’d rather flirt with you than your Dad. He’s no fun.” “Thanks,” said Will. “Is that what you’re doing? Flirting with me Botrina?” asked Sam. “How else will I learn your secrets?” asked Botrina smiling sweetly, “And let’s face it, you’re hiding something…” Sam looked at Botrina and licked his lips, “One kiss and I’ll tell all.” Will frowned. Renee walked up, “Botrina! What are you doing? Fraternizing with the enemy?” “Renee!” exclaimed Botrina, “Asa didn’t tell you?” Cris walked in with Roseanne and spied Renee, “Wait right here,” he said. Cris ran up to Renee who was scolding Botrina and grabbed Renee and they did a passionate tango. Everyone looked on in shock. Sam leaned in for the kill. RJ flew out of his chair and grabbed Sam by the collar, “Why you…!” RJ decked Sam. Knocked him right out. Botrina frowned, “Damn! Now I can’t learn his secrets!” RJ just grinned. The scene ended. KdP and Dim walked into Jill’s office early with the mail. They knew Jill hid her snickers wrappers under her intercom and took them. Every single wrapper. Jill walked in with two ciggies hanging out of her mouth. “What are you two up to?” asked JFP putting her hands on her hips. Ash from the ciggies fell to the floor. Dim held up the wrappers, “Jill, we gotta make a deal.” KdP grinned and sat on Jill’s desk crossing her arms. “This is blackmail,” said Jill. “Yep. We want Robin back. You give us Robin back and we’ll give you your wrappers,” said Dim. Jill frowned. KdP held up a bill, “Look Jill - remember those toilet flushers? Jilly and Bo and Nora fan broke two more. And they’re gonna sue you for $99.95 unless you pay up.” Dim and KdP looked at each other and grinned. JFP frowned so hard her ciggies dropped out of her mouth. “Well?” said Dim and KdP in stereo. Jill reached for her phone, “Who is this?” she demanded. Pause. “All right, look - call Robin and tell her to come into work…” Jill looked up at KdP. Pause. “And cut a check for 99.95 for Jilly and Bo and Nora Fan…” said Jill. KdP and Dim were happy. Dim, Flo, TDS, EP, and JSS were hanging out in Dim and Flo’s dressing room after work drinking H20. “Poisonwood, what’s new with you?” asked Dim. “Looks like a showdown is coming up… The VooDoo Rosies and the Rebel Rousers.” “That oughta’ be a sight to see…” grinned TDS. “So Flo, got scoop?” asked JSS. Flo grinned, “I go four days without a scene with John Bolger.” “Happiness!” exclaimed Dim. There was a knock on the door. Flo got up and collected her postcard. S he read, “Flo, hope you didn’t catch a cold in the rain. By the way - how come you never kissed me like that when I was there? I hear Jill might be casting you a new love interest. He better check out or I’ll kick his ass. Rog. P.S. I miss you too, Flo.” “That Rog. Always looking out for you,” said Dim grinning. “I miss Rog,” said Flo.

NEXT: 1. The VooDoo Rosies and the Rebel Rousers showdown in Jill’s office. 2. More of Renee and Cris’s undeniable chemistry. 3. Robin comes back to work. 4. Flo got scoop.