An OLTL Satire - Part 40 - “Stop the Madness!”

This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
1. Poisonwood visits the VooDoo Lounge in Vegas.
2. Botrina shows up to work in a new power suit. Jill is pissed.
3. Make-up room gossip.
4. Flo got scoop.

EP, dressed as “Poisonwood Rosie” showed up at the VooDoo Lounge in Vegas with Jill to meet with her fan club, “The Big Bad VooDoo Rosies.”
“And I thought Montana BooBee’s fan club was weird,” muttered JFP. She crossed her arms and dragged on her ciggie.
“Thanks for coming Jill. The fans will love you,” said Poisonwood walking into the lounge.
“Right. I’ve got a total of 3,000 pink slips so far,” muttered JFP. They walked into the lounge. Charm bags and chicken bones were everywhere.
Carnival masks and Mardi Gras beads were plastered all over the lounge.
“It’s Poisonwood!” came a cry. Fans surrounded JFP and EP. JFP became claustrophobic.
“Poisonwood, put a hex on my chicken bones!” said one fan.
“Can you sign my picture, Poisonwood?” came another request.
“Hey - it’s Cruella DeJill!” came a cry, “I got a pink slip for you!”
“Poisonwood, is it true you took Tim and Kale’s pictures?” came a question.
“That’s an evil rumor. I’ll have to hex you!” said Poisonwood grinning.
She threw some Mardi Gras beads on JFP. JFP frowned. She was miserable.

The next day:

Dim showed up on the set dressed in one of her new power suits. She took her seat behind her desk. PC showed up with his bottle of nip. So did DJ and FL. The director yelled ‘Action!’ and the scene began.
Téa and Botrina were talking.
“Botrina, I need your help. I gotta figure out this key mystery. All Sykes does is leer at me,” said Téa. She popped a cough drop.
“Gotta cold?” asked Botrina.
“Sore throat,” said Téa.
“Yeah, I’ll help. If you help me. I gotta devise a plan to keep Blair away from RJ,” said Botrina, admiring her new suit.
G.D. walked in.
“G.D., have you seen last quarter’s profits? Hey! What’s Manning’s she-thing doing in here?” asked Asa.
“Screw you, Asa!” said Téa sucking on her cough drop.
In walked Joey, “Cousin Trina! I need your help!”
“What is this? A Madhouse?” asked Botrina.
“G.D., how do you get any work done?” asked Asa.
“I got no clue,” muttered Botrina crossing her arms.
Joey flirted with Téa, “Don’t you look good today, Téa.”
“Thank you,” said Téa.
“Looks to me like you don’t need my help,” said Botrina.
“By the way - nice power suit, Botrina,” said Joey.
“Doesn’t anyone work in this town?” asked Asa.
The scene ended.
JFP walked up wearing her Mardi Gras beads and frowned at Dim, “Got a new power suit I see.”
Dim just grinned.

The usual suspects gathered in the make-up, DJ, GT, RS, DF, JSS, ET, FL, EP, and DW.
“So Robin, what did you do with Tim and Kale’s pics? Jill’s been pretty crabby lately,” said DJ.
“I put ‘em in a new frame. hehehe,” giggled RS, “Poisonwood, can you smuggle the pics back into Jill’s office?”
“There is nothing Poisonwood can’t do…” replied EP.
“Hey, I heard JFP got some barf bags over her new storylines,” said ET.
“Well, if she did Téa and Joey she’d have a hit on her hands,” grinned DJ at FL.
“Right,” said FL popping a cough drop.
“Say, Gina, you like the Kelly and Max thing?” asked JSS.
“I’m having a blast with those boas and fishnet stockings,” giggled GT.
“You can throw a boa at me anytime,” said DF.
“Dim, I heard Jill was pissed when she saw your new power suit,” commented EP.
“What else is new?” asked DW.
“Hey, did anyone see Erika’s karoke version of ‘I-Will-Survive’?” asked GT.
“Erika ROCKED,” said ET all proud of her on-screen mom.
Just then ES walked in. MD followed behind her with the karoke machine and set it up. She led the gossip crew in a rousing version of SmashMouth’s “Walking On The Sun.”

Dim and RS brought JFP the mail. They passed AS in the hall.
“Girls, going to mail call?” asked AS.
“Uh-huh,” said Dim and RS.
“I’ll join you,” said AS.
They walked into JFP’s office. A smoky hazy greeted them. AS gagged on the smoke.
“Jill!” screeched AS, “PUT OUT THOSE CIGGIES!”
Jill rushed to put out her three ciggies flinging Mardi Gras beads all over her office and as AS. AS caught a pair. Dim and RS giggled.
“You’re in big trouble Jill,” said AS putting her hands on her hips.
Jill swallowed.
AS saw red, “Jill - can’t you follow directions?”

Dim, Flo, JSS, TDS, and EP were hanging out in Dim and Flo’s dressing room.
Flo popped a cough drop.
“Hey Poisonwood, did you have a good time in Vegas?” asked Dim.
“I had a blast. My fan club is great. Montana BooBee even flew in for a few minutes,” said EP.
“Has anyone seen next week’s scripts? There’s a big bash at Club Indigo.
RJ and Botrina do a tango…”
“STOP THE MADNESS!!” exclaimed Dim, “You call this love in the afternoon?”
“Don’t you mean, Stop Jill?” asked JSS.
“Hey Flo, got scoop?” asked Dim chugging on some H20.
“Téa leers back at Sykes,” said FL.
There was a knock on the door and FL collected her postcard. She read, “Dear Flo, the show opens tonight. Hope to see you there. Stay outta Jill’ s way. Rog. P.S. I miss you too Flo.”
“What would we do without Rog’s postcards?” asked TDS.
“I dunno - bitch?” deadpanned Dim.
“I miss Rog,” said Flo.

NEXT:
1. The 15th Annual Soap Opera Awards “LIVE” from Universal Studios…
2. Stuttering John dimes out Dim.
3. Dim gets an award - for fifteen minutes!
4. SS and RH cameo.
5. Flo got scoop.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE: Copyright by DimWitt. Originally published on 19 FEB 1999 on “Mediadomain OLTL Topic board”. Copyright owner provides the information on this server to anyone, but retains copyright on all text. This means that you may not: distribute the text to others without the EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION of the copyright owner. You may: print copies of the information for your own personal use, store the files on your own computer for your personal use only, reference hypertext documents on this server form your own documents.