OLTL SATIRE-PART FOUR

An OLTL Satire – Part IV – "The Scripts are a little thin Flo…"
This is a work of fiction. This is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
1. Another catfight with Nora
2. Botrina is named performer of the week.
3. Flo got scoop
4. JFP makes Botrina do press with Kevin.

Hilary B. Smith walked into Flo and Dim's dressing room. Flo and Dim were chugging H20
. "Hill. What's up?" asked Dim.
"Dim. Flo. Checked out the script lately?" asked HBS sitting down on a small chair.
"We got another cat fight coming up," said Dim.
"Now we're slinging hay in Asa's stables," said HBS.
"Well, JFP's original idea was to have us fall in a pig sty but Pam talked her out of it," said Dim.
"Well, at least we all have something to do now," said Hill.
"I never did ask," said Flo, "But why don't Botrina and Nora get along?"
"Well, the scripts are a little thin Flo," said HBS, "We'll probably find out next month or so…"
Flo and Dim giggled.
Dim walked onto the set in one of Botrina's power suits. Dim was blocking scenes with Bob Woods and Phil Carey when JFP walked up.
"Dim, I need you to do press… with Kevin," said JFP.
"Me? What about Laura? Sonia? Why me?" asked Dim. Bob and Phil just watched.
"Sonia's doing a sitcom pilot and Laura's on vacation. Be in the pressroom in fifteen minutes…" said JFP leaving.
Dim frowned, "Why is she always sticking me with TG? We like have no story together!!"
"Maybe she thinks you two are cute together," said Phil laughing. Bob sniggered.
"I gotta get out of this…" muttered Dim.
"I gotta plan," said Bob pulling out some 100 mile an hour tape.
"No Bob, no…" said Phil.
Dim's eyes lit up, "Go on…"
Fifteen minutes later Dim walked into the Press room. Instead of Tim Gibbs, Bob Woods was there.
One reporter spoke up, "Where's Tim?"
"He couldn't make it," said Bob Woods, "He's kinda tied up."
In a far away dressing room in a small corner of the OLTL studios JB walked into the dressing room he shared with TG and found TG taped up to a chair.
"What happened?" asked JB.
"Bob Woods and I were playing with the tape…" muttered TG.
Dim and HBS were rolling in the hay for their catfight. It was ugly. Dim had straws of hay all over her. They broke for an H20 break.
"You know, after this I've got a really hot smut scene with Max in this hay…" muttered Dim.
"Gross…" muttered HBS.
Just then JFP walked in.
"Dim you're a hit!" said JFP. Dim and HBS looked up. They looked pretty filthy.
"I am?" asked Dim.
"Yeah. SOD voted you performer of the week…" said JFP waving the issue of SOB around.
"Good for you Dim," said HBS.
Dim couldn't believe it.
"Botrina brings humor to Llanview…" started Jill.
"Mail call!" yelled PL walking in.
"Pam! I'm talking!" said JFP.
"But you told me you wanted to get the scoop on the snail mail…" said Pam.
"Can you say three ring circus?" said HBS, "can we get back to the catfight?"
"NO!" yelled JFP and PL.
JFP lowered her voice, "Mail comes first. Pam…"
"Who runs this show?" muttered Dim.
"Good news. Ratings are up…" started PL
. "Must be all those TnT S&M scenes…" muttered JFP.
"We got letters from Jackie, Island Girl, Violet…" started PL.
"Let me guess… Botrina is fresh, funny, and should be voted best newcomer…" said JFP.
HBS turned to Dim, "Well, ratings are up…"
Dim and HBS started to sling the hay again…
Dim was in her dressing room picking the hay out of her hair when Flo walked in. Flo was looking dishelved. Her hair was tussled and her shirt was untucked.
"Let me guess… another kinky you know what scene…" started Dim.
"I can't wait until the writers get over this kick… why can't I have a normal smut scene?" asked Flo, "You know what my new script called for?"
"Gimme the scoop," said Dim.
"Todd gets a day off from therapy and we almost do it my hotel room. I can' t do it there – it was you know – the same room with the AnT thing and I was having nightmares so they moved the location to Viki's cabin."
"Well, at least it's not Sykes…" muttered Dim.
"Hey, I just noticed. How did you get hay in your hair?" asked Flo.
"After my catfight with Nora I had a smut scene with Max in the same hay," said Dim picking up her script.
Flo sat down and picked up her script.
"Oh man," muttered Dim, "Botrina turns the tables on Max by giving him the money? I'm lost. I thought he was supposed to scam me?"
"Listen to this," said Flo, "required props… ice cubes, flower petals…candles…viagra? Téa gives Todd viagra? And he lets her?"
Dim giggled.
Just then Rog burst into their dressing room.
"Did you see this? Téa gives Todd viagra?" exclaimed Rog.
"Just read it," muttered Flo, "How are we going to get out of this one?"
"Hi Dim," said Rog.
"Hi Rog," said Dim, "Maybe you guys should talk to JFP about getting a new therapist…"
Flo and Rog glared at Dim.
"O.k., bad suggestion…" muttered Dim, "So, got any other suggestions?"
"Got a year?" asked Flo.
NEXT:
1. Botrina and Max get therapy
2. Flo got scoop
3. Dim and Bob booby trap the set
4. Why Botrina and Nora don't get along