OLTL SATIRE-PART THIRTY EIGHT

An OLTL Satire - Part 38 - “You want to plant a stinkbomb in the art gallery?”

This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
1. JFP franticly searches for her TG/KB pics.
2. JSS and Dim have a scene together.
3. Asa and Botrina plot
4. Viki kisses Ben
5. Flo got scoop.

It was early in the morning. Dim walked into her dressing room and saw Flo going over her mail with her personal assistant, Jules.
“Hi Jules,” said Dim hanging up her coat, “What brings you by?”
“Hi Dim,” said Jules putting down a letter and pouring Dim a cup of coffee.
“I’ve had a recent influx of mail,” said FL, “And I need Jules’s help to keep up with it. Seems the fans don’t like Téa and Sykes.”
“Well, Flo, the big question is do you like Téa and Sykes?” asked Dim sipping her coffee. Jules went back to the stack of mail.
“Ah no,” said FL, “I’d rather do Téa and Joey.”
“Eweweweweww….” said Jules and Dim.
“I’m kidding!” said Flo.
“By the way,” said Dim, “I like your new do.”
“So do I!” said Jules.
“Thanks,” said FL, “I just went to Jill and asked if I could try something different and she said she didn’t mind.”
Jules and Dim smiled.
“Mighty big of her,” said Dim.
JFP opened the door, “Girls - have you seen my Tim and Kale pictures?”
“Ah, no,” said FL.
“Damn!” said JFP closing the door.
“She lost her Tim and Kale pics. Don’t you feel sad for her?” asked Dim.
“No,” said Flo and Jules.
Everyone laughed.

The entire cast showed up the scene at Club Indigo. TG picked his nose in an attempt to get into character. Dim was dressed in a leftover 1997 pastel power suit. The director yelled ‘Action!’ and the scene began.
Botrina sat at a table with Asa. Asa was smoking a stogie and just swallowed a shot of nip.
“G.D., I’m going crazy about Bo. You gotta sing my praises to him,” said Asa.
“G.D., in case you haven’t noticed, Dad can be a little stubborn,” said Botrina. They looked at Bo who was flirting with Lindsay at the bar.
“G.D., we gotta get Lindsay out of Bo’s life,” said Asa.
“What do you suggest? You want a mack truck to run her over? You want to plant a stinkbomb in the art gallery? You want to sic Poisonwood Rosie on her ass?” asked Botrina.
“You scheme like me girl. Like a Buchanan,” said Asa, “I like the Poisonwood idea. Now go get me some more nip.”
Botrina smirked, “I am a Buchanan.” She got up and walked towards the bar.
Without looking…she ran into…Will Rappaport. The school homework he had in his hands fell all over the floor. They both bent down to pick it up.
Their eyes met. Dim and JSS tried hard to keep the “chemistry” out of their obvious looks of smoldering desire…
“Hi Will,” said Botrina shyly.
“Ah, hi, Ms. Buchanan,” said Will blushing.
She picked up the last paper and they stood up. She handed it to him. They awkwardly looked at each other. Just then Will reached out and hugged her. Lindsay’s and Asa’s eyes popped out of their heads.
“What was that for?” asked Botrina as they parted.
“It looked like you needed it,” said Will. He walked off and joined Jessica at a table.
“What a sweet, DROP DEAD GORGEOUS guy,” whispered Botrina.
Just then, Ben walked passed Botrina and went up to Viki, Renee, and Carlotta’s table, “Girls, I got your drinks,” said Ben. He passed out the drinks.
“I got your Sex on the Beach,” said Ben giving Renee her drink. Renee blushed.
“I got your Alabama Slammer,” said Ben giving Carlotta her drink.
“Thank you Ben,” said Carlotta smiling at him.
“And I got your Orgasm right here,” said Ben giving Viki her drink. Their eyes met. Ben leaned down and gave Viki a wet, sloppy kiss.
Everyone in Club Indigo looked on in shock.
“Wow,” muttered Viki.
“But you liked that, didn’t you?” asked Ben all proud of himself.
“It was a, pretty, ah, wet,” said Viki blushing. Renee and Carlotta looked on in a jealous haze.
Ben walked off.
“I think he likes you,” said Carlotta, “Wish it were me. I can’t remember the last time I had sex.”
Kelly bumped into Botrina at the bar.
“Kelly, I miss you now that you’ve left Buchanan Enterprises to run the Sun,” said Botrina, “When are we going to hang out?”
RJ gave Botrina her drink, “When are we going to hang out again?”
“Maybe later on tonight?” said Botrina with a gleam in her eye.
“Well, I got time on Friday,” said Kelly. She wore a short skirt and fishnet stockings, “We’ll make it a girl’s night out.”
Botrina turned to RJ and pulled out a small gift wrapped box, “By the way - I know I’m late, but Happy Birthday. It was the 31st of January right?”
“Right,” said RJ blushing, “Ah, Thanks.”
He opened it up. It was a pair of expensive cufflinks.
“I figured you would like them being a GQ kinda guy,” said Botrina.
Sykes walked up to Téa at the bar and Téa gagged.
Max walked up to Kelly and flirted with her.
Kevin and Joey sat a table. Joey was eyeing Téa. Kevin scratched his armpits. Joey rolled his eyes.
Blair, who was sulking by the piano waiting to begin her set turned to Dorian, “Did you just see Kevin? How disgusting he is!”
“So, why are you looking?” asked Dorian.
“Anyone seen my Tim and Kale pics?” yelled Jill over the set intercom.

RS and Dim walked into JFP’s office. A haze of smoke covered the room. JFP had five ciggies burning in the ashtray. A dozen snickers wrappers covered her desk and her intercom was playing Twilight Zone music.
“Jill, I thought Ange declared your office a NO SMOKING ZONE?” asked RS gagging on the smoke.
“What Ange doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” said JFP, “Besides, I’m stressed.
I can’t find my Tim and Kale pics.”
“Well, Jill, want the skinny?” asked Dim gagging on the smoke herself.
“Give it to me straight,” said JFP.
“Ratings are slightly up,” said RS.
“You got another 500 pink slips,” said Dim.
“Rumor has it Laura called Hunter Tylo,” said RS.
“Shit!” muttered JFP. She grabbed a snickers wrapper and wrote a note to herself.
“Jill, calm down. Why are you so stressed?” asked Dim.
“Kale’s gonna kill me if I don’t get his pictures back,” said JFP.
“Well, it could be worse. You could have a lawsuit on your hands,” said RS.
“By the way, Greg Haberny has gotten rave reviews as Pellagrino,” said Dim, “As one letter puts it - he’s a keeper. Give him a contract!”
JFP frowned, “Right. Fire someone else and open myself up to another lawsuit. I don’t think so. I just gotta find those pictures!”
Dim and Robin looked at each other and nodded their heads in disgust.

Flo, Dim, TDS, JSS, and EP were hanging out in Flo and Dim’s dressing room after work chugging H20.
“Guess whose birthday is coming up?” teased EP.
“Whose?” asked JSS.
“Erin’s!” said EP.
“Hey! Don’s is coming up too,” said TDS.
“Flo, what are you going to Don for his birthday?” asked Dim, “You know he’s expecting something slinky from Téa…”
Flo blushed, “Well, maybe Téa might go out on a date with Joey after all.”
A mailman delivered a postcard to the dressing room. It was for Flo from Rog.
“That is so cool - Rog sends you those postcards,” said TDS.
Flo read, “Flo - the rehearsals for the play are going good. I can tell you just aren’t being challenged in your recent scenes. Let me tell you, I know what that’s like. I missed you when you went on vacation last year. I was suffering…Try not to gag too hard when Sykes is around. Have fun figuring out the key. Todd. Ah, I mean, Rog. P.S. I miss you too Flo.”
“So, Flo, got scoop?” asked Dim.
“Téa kisses Sykes on her date,” said Flo frowning, “Then she gags again.”
“Quick! Jason! Take the beer out of the frig!” exclaimed Dim.
“Ah,” said Flo sadly, “I miss Rog.”

NEXT:
1. The makeup room gossip crew gives DJ and ET a birthday cake.
2. Will “Ange” find out JFP is still smoking and broke the rules?
3. Bo and Botrina talk about life, love, and Lindsay.
4. Dim is forced to give an interview to SOD.
5. Flo got scoop.