OLTL SATIRE-PART TWENTY EIGHT

An OLTL Satire - Part 28 - "Me and Dim locked JFP in Asa's wine cellar!"

This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:

1. RS and Dim lock JFP in the wine cellar.

2. Bo and Asa fight about Botrina.

3. More make-up room gossip.

4. Flo got scoop.

It was early in the morning. JFP walked into the office after braving the picket lines of the production crew. She wiped the tomatoes off her outfit. She went to polish her picture of KB and noticed something missing. Her intercom was still there, thank goodness! What was missing? Her laptop!

There was a note where JFP's laptop should be. She picked it up and read it, "Help! Jill! Robin and Dim are holding me captive in Asa's wine cellar - come and save me!" JFP thought about calling Montana BooBee but Sonia was in LA auditioning again. Well, hell, she'll just go get the damn laptop herself. JFP walked out of her office to Asa's wine cellar.

Dim, dressed in a Botrina Tran Power Suit, walked onto the Buchanan Enterprises set. PC, RSW, and TDS were all ready there.

"Dim, what are you giggling about?" asked TDS.

"Me and Robin just locked Jill in Asa's wine cellar…" giggled Dim.

"Now why didn't I think of that?" asked RSW.

"Places!" yelled the director. They walked onto the set.

"And…Action!" yelled the director. The scene began.

Botrina sat behind her desk reviewing contracts. RJ walked in. Botrina looked up.

"Hey, aren't you ready?" asked RJ standing in front of her desk.

Botrina stood up, "For? Oh yeah… I've got my doctor's appointment today."

"Yeah…and I'm going with you," said RJ, "By the way - that's a really short skirt you've got on."

"Thanks," said Botrina.

Asa and Bo came storming in.

"You are expecting!" said Asa.

"And RJ's the father!" said Bo.

RJ looked at Asa and Bo and grinned like a proud daddy.

"I'm gonna throttle you Gannon for getting my favorite G.D. with child!" said Asa lunging for RJ.

Bo put the grab on Asa, "Paw, that ain't gonna solve anything!"

"So what? You on Gannon's side now?" demanded Asa.

Botrina stood next to RJ with her head in her hands. RJ was laughing at Asa and Bo.

"G.D.," said Botrina, "I can still run the company. Nothing's changed."

"Oh, G.D.," said Asa softening, "Everything's changed. Is Gannon gonna marry you?"

Botrina and RJ looked at each other, "We hadn't planned on doing that…" said Botrina.

Asa squirmed harder, "You worm Gannon!"

"Paw, you need to calm down. Remember your ticker!" said Bo.

"Hey Old Man, calm down," said RJ, "Trina and I didn't plan on this but we' ll do the right thing."

"Are you o.k. with this?" asked Asa.

"G.D., I'm fine with it," said Botrina, "Now RJ and I have to go." She picked up her winter jacket and put it on.

"You know, that skirt is way too short for a pregnant woman to be wearing…" said Asa.

"Yeah…but it looks nice on me. See you in a bit G.D.," said Botrina. She walked out with RJ by her side.

Bo let Asa go. They stood looking at each other for a few minutes when Wham! Asa punched Bo. Bo fell down.

"What was that for Paw?" asked Bo.

"I had to hit something," said Asa.

The scene ended.

Flo, Dim, and Robin were in Flo and Dim's dressing room for lunch. They were eating salads and had JFP's laptop hooked up to the phone line. Robin was at the controls.

"Let's surf the net," said Flo, "I've only been on-line once."

"Man, Flo, you gotta move into the computer age," said Dim.

"O.k., guys, I'm on a message board called Mediadomain," said Robin. Dim and Flo peered over her shoulder.

"Hey - let's read that Téa bashing post…" suggested Flo.

Robin opened it up. They read it.

"Wow. That shit is ugly!" said Flo.

Robin got out of it.

"I want to see what they say about Botrina. Go into Botrina Bashing," said Dim.

Robin opened it up. They read it.

"Wow," said Dim, "It's worse than Téa bashing."

"Hey - you think you two get dissed hard," said Robin, "You should see what they say about Kevin, Spammy, and Jill."

Flo, Dim, and Robin giggled.

FL, DW, and RS walked into the make-up room. The gossip crew was there - DJ, GT, EP, ET, and some new faces, JSS and DF.

"We were waiting for you," said DJ, "I've got the latest SOD and they've put out their nominations for this year's awards."

"Who got what?" asked Dim.

"Dim, you got nominated for best female newcomer along with some girl from ATWT and PC," said DJ, "And my man! Ugh! Jason! Got best male newcomer."

"Ugh! Ugh!" said JSS.

"The male bonding mating call," remarked Gina.

"What did Rog and I get?" asked Flo.

"Flo," said DJ, "I hate to break the news to you but TnT didn't even get HOTTEST couple. You guys got NOTHING."

"Sounds like a miscarriage of justice, Flo," said Dim.

"Anyone hear what they did with those 1,556 cans of Spam?" asked GT.

The gossip crew turned to EP.

"Why are you looking at me?" asked EP, "I think Jill's still got them in her office."

"Where is Jill anyway?" asked ET.

"He. He. He." laughed RS, "Me and Dim locked her in Asa's wine cellar!"

Kale Browne was lurking in a corner and overheard.

"Hey - how was supersoap weekend, Erin? Jason?" asked FL.

"I went too," said DF.

"It was o.k. Jason and I had to do this big thing about teen pregnancy…I got asked a lot of questions about Roger," said ET. Her and JSS smiled at each other.

"Yeah…they made me pass out condoms and I got asked a lot of questions about Roger too," said JSS.

"Yeah…they even made me pass out condoms and I didn't even sleep with Jessica! And everyone asked me about Roger - all though one person told me they thought I was cute but I need acting lessons," said DF.

"It's a cruel world out there," said FL, "Let me tell you - I know."

Just then JFP came stumbling into the make-up room followed by KB. She hiccop'd.

"Dim…" she slurred, "Robin… You two are on mail call for the rest of your natural lives!" JFP stumbled back out.

"Guess she had too much wine," remarked Robin giggling.

"Hey, Flo," said DJ, "I see you got out of """IT""" happening…"

"Yeah," said Flo, "Rog got pissed at Spam, ah, I mean, Pam, and said he wasn 't going to do """IT""" with me. I mean…he would have…"

"Rigggght," said DJ, "I'll do """IT""" with you."

"Silly boy," said FL making a face at him.

"I'm telling you Flo - you can have your pick of anyone…" started DJ.

"Yeah…my eyes bugged out when I first saw you…" added JSS, "You could have me…"

"I'm spoiled," said FL, "I'll say it again - just to make sure TPTB hear me - If I can't have Rog, I want NOBODY!"

All of a sudden the make-up room grew quiet as Erika Slezak walked in. Everyone's mouth fell and their eyes grew wide.

"What are you all looking at?" asked ES, "My blush needs touching up."

Flo and Dim were in their dressing room going over their scripts.

"I miss Rog," said FL.

There was a knock on the door.

"C'Mon in," said Dim.

A young guy opened the door wearing a mail hat, "Ah, Miss Lozano, this postcard came for you."

Flo took the postcard and dude left.

"Who's it from?" asked Dim.

"How sweet. It's from Rog. Say's he's in LA with BooBee auditioning. P.S.

I miss you too, Flo." read FL.

"He's cool," said Dim, "So, got scoop?"

"Yeah. It's been two weeks and I haven't had a scene with Sykes yet…" said FL.

"That's good news. Who have you had scenes with?" asked Dim.

All of a sudden their dressing room door flew open, "Hi Dim. Hi Flo," said JdP, "Want to go over some lines, Flo?"

Dim looked at Flo.

"You…and JdP??" questioned Dim.

Flo took a breath, "I miss Rog."

NEXT:

1. Botrina gets her wish!

2. Find out what happened to the 1,556 cans of Spam.

3. Dim does press in SOD

4. Montana BooBee is back

5. Flo got scoop.