OLTL SATIRE-PART TWENTY SIX

An OLTL Satire - Part 26 - Now PL’s gone, Llanview women can get their brains back.

This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
1. FL has a going away party for RH.
2. Bo thinks Botrina is pregnant (little does he know)
3. The details of PL’s contract leak. SPECIAL SURPRISE!
4. Montana BooBee’s back - killing a few rumors. (she’s good at that.)
5. Flo DOESN’T have scoop!

It was early in the morning. Dim was in her dressing room drinking coffee going over her script. Flo walked in.

“Morning Flo,” said Dim.

“Morning Dim,” said Flo, “I’m having a going away for Rog. Can you help me out?”

“Sure. When is it?” asked Dim.

“Today,” said Flo.

“You’re on,” said Dim.

Flo sat down and filled Dim in on the details.

Dim walked onto the country club set dressed in a Botrina Tran Power Suit.

CR, HBS, RSW, PC, and others were all ready there. The director yelled ‘Action!’ and the scene began.

Clint, Lindsay, (The Goddess of Annoyance) Bo, Nora, Asa, Renee, Joey, BooBee, and Jessica were sitting around the Buchanan table gabbing.

(wasting time.)

Botrina walked in and up to the table, “Am I late for the shindig? What are we celebrating?”

Asa stood up and hugged Botrina, “G.D. your father has good news.”

“Oh? What?” asked Botrina breaking from Asa’s embrace and hugging Bo.

“Trina, Nora and I are going to have a baby,” said Bo smiling at his daughter.

Botrina bit her lip and tried to smile at Nora, “Ah, congrats, Nora.”

“How civil of you Botrina,” said Nora.

Lindsay, in an attempt to be annoying, whispered to Clint, “Don’t Botrina and Nora get along?”

“No, they don’t,” whispered Clint.

Botrina sat down next to Asa.

“So, G.D., how many millions did you make me today?” asked Asa.

“Two or three,” said Botrina.

“Want something to eat?” asked Lindsay sucking up, and flagging down a waiter.

“No, thank you Aunt Lindsay,” said Botrina, “I have an appetite and whenever I do eat, I can’t seem to hold it down.”

Jessie frowned and looked down at the table.

“Nora has the same problem,” said Bo looking at Botrina.

“Oh,” said Botrina.

“Ah, Trina, came to my office the other day and suggested a human interest story,” said Clint.

“What was that Trina?” asked Renee.

Botrina stuttered, “Ah…well…”

“Botrina and Nora have distant Albanian relatives in Kosovo. Botrina suggested we send a reporter over there,” said Clint.

“Do you have a reporter in mind?” asked Joey.

“Kevin,” said Botrina smiling.

“You know Clint,” said Nora hot to Botrina, “You could do a human interest story right here in Llanview.”

“What’s your idea?” asked Clint.

“You could do a human interest story on Botrina’s community service,” said Nora smiling.

Botrina gagged on the bread she was nibbling.

Everyone looked at her.

“Oh, lay off Botrina,” said Lindsay scowling at Nora.

Botrina shot her chair out from under her and stood up, “Excuse me. I gotta go bark again.”

“What’s wrong with her?” asked Nora.

“She almost fainted in my office the other day,” said Clint.

“I think G.D. is pregnant,” said Asa looking at Bo and frowning.

Bo frowned too, “That would mean the kid is…”

“RJ Gannon’s,” finished Asa, “We all know him and G.D. have been quite the item.”

“This is too freaky. My wife and daughter pregnant at the same time,” said Bo.

“Blame it on the Spam,” said Renee.

The scene ended.

Flo and Dim knocked on Rog’s dressing room door.

“C’Mon in,” said Rog.

Flo and Dim walked in. Dim kept her hands behind her back.

“Rog, the cast and crew are upstairs waiting for your going away party I’m throwing for you to start,” said Flo.

Rog stood up. His dressing room was bare.

“That was really sweet of you Flo. You shouldn’t have. You know how people talk,” said Rog smiling at Flo.

“That’s what we got Montana BooBee for. She kills those rumors - DEAD,” said Dim laughing.

“Screw the make-up room gossip crew,” said Flo, “I got you a little something.”

“Oh?” said Rog.

Flo looked at Dim.

Dim whipped out a cupcake from behind her back. In the frosting were the words, “Bye Rog”.

Rog took the cupcake, obviously moved, “How sweet. Thank you Flo.”

“Your welcome Rog. I’m going to miss you.” said Flo.

Rog peeled the wrapper, “I’ll miss you too Flo.”

Flo and Dim sniffled.

“Hey, don’t sniffle. It’s only a leave of absence,” said Rog biting into his cupcake, “Just keep in mind one thing…or two…Flo..”

“What Rog?” asked Flo.

“No matter what drivel the writers serve up, always stay true to your character,” said Rog. He paused.

“And?” asked Flo.

“Don’t take no shit from Jill and Pam,” said Rog finishing the cupcake.

“Ah, Rog, you’ve got frosting on your lip…” said Flo smiling at him.

Rog looked around, “My dressing room is bare. No napkin…”

Flo laughed at Rog and they walked upstairs.

“Well, look who finally showed up. The guest of honor and his co-star,”

sniveled JdP as RH, FL, and DW walked in, “Nobody gave my a party when I left.”

“Hey,” said DJ, “I’ve got the details of Pam’s contract! Anyone want to hear?”

“Is it just as bad as Jill’s?” asked Gina.

TG walked up to RH, “Gonna miss you, man…”

“Riggght,” said RH.

RH and FL exchanged a quick, knowing look.

ES walked up to RH, “I’ll miss you too.”

“Give it a few months,” said RH, “I’ll be back - maybe.”

DJ walked up to ES, “Guess what?”

“What?” asked ES.

“Pam got a bonus every month Viki was on the backburner,” said DJ.

ES raised an eyebrow, “Shrew.”

RH, FL, and DJ were shocked to hear that word come from ES.

RS walked in happy as a clam, “GUESS WHAT?”

The room got quiet.

“What?” asked Dim.

“Ding Dong, the witch is dead…the witch is dead…the witch is dead…” chanted RS, “The span got canned!”

The room broke out in a big “Whoooo-hoooo!”

“Ah, what does that mean?” EP asked Dim.

“It means your buddy Pam ain’t working here no more,” said Dim.< p align=left> EP frowned.

“Rog, you’ve got frosting on your lip,” said TG.

“Oh, I forgot,” said Rog, “I need a napkin.”

“How did that frosting get there in the first place?” asked TG looking to Flo then Rog then back to Flo.

“What are you implying?” asked RH raising his voice.

“Well, the rumor is…” started TG.

“MONTANA BOOBEE!” yelled Flo.

SS showed up in her Montana BooBee outfit and H20 pistol dressed to kill, “Just tell where this evil rumor is and I’ll kill it!”

Rog and Flo looked at TG.

BooBee shot and killed the rumor - DEAD.

Flo and Dim were hanging in their dressing room after the day’s events.

“What a day,” said Dim, “I’m beat.”

Flo smiled, “Now that Pam’s gone, Llanview’s women might actually get their brains back…Téa included.”

“Viki might get a love interest,” added Dim.

“FOJ’s might get less airtime…” said Flo.

“RJ might get a storyline…” said Dim.

“Moose could come back…” said Flo.

“Nah. JFP’s gotta go for us to get Moose back,” said Dim.

“Rog might come back,” said Flo smiling.

“You’re gonna miss him, huh?” said Dim, “We all are…except maybe…”

“Yeah, I’ll miss him. I lost count of all the times he made me laugh while we were actually taping…” said Flo.

“So, got any scoop?” asked Dim.

“Well, this week I don’t have any,” said Flo.

“Oh,” said Dim, “So how many times has Rog cracked you up?”

“Got a year?” asked Flo.

NEXT:
1. Mail call is back. JFP runs out of ciggies.
2. Make-up room gossip
3. Botrina takes the P test
4. Flo got scoop this time.