OLTL SATIRE-PART SEVENTEEN

An OLTL Satire – Part 17 – "Did you hear the rumor? RH might sign with Baywatch?"
This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
Botrina posts bail. The winner of Kevin and Botrina's court case is announced.
Botrina gives Max the boot and eyes RJ.
JFP gets a letter bomb from Montana BooBee's Gun-For-Hire Club.
Flo got scoop.

Flo and Dim were in their dressing room chugging H20. There was a knock on the door.
"C'Mon in," said Dim.
It was SS. She handed Dim a memo.
"Well, it looks like me and you are picking up the mail this week," said SS.
Her cell phone was attached to her ear.
"Any new rumors?" asked Flo.
"Drew's gonna die here soon," said SS.
"Old news," said Dim, "Anything new?"
SS started dialing a few numbers.
Dim turned to Flo, "I am so sick of the mail. This must be JFP's revenge for replacing those herbal ciggies."
"Oh! Oh! Oh!" exclaimed SS, "Roger Howarth is not re-signing with OLTL and is joining Baywatch!"
Flo broke into laughter, "Now that's a rumor! Rog would never join such a fluff show."
"You know how I know that's a rumor?" asked Dim.
"No, how?" asked SS and FL in stereo.
"There's too much skin on baywatch!" giggled Dim.
The director yelled action and Dim, as Botrina, started pacing around in her jail cell. Bo and Asa came busting in like cowboys expecting to free the wronged prisoner from the old west jail cell.
"We came as soon as we heard," said Bo.
"How did you find out?" asked Botrina pacing.
"It was on the TV news at noon," said Asa.
"What happened?" asked Bo.
Botrina continued to pace, "Kevin said G.D. wore skirts and I said G.D. was a real man, so Kevin, in an attempt to prove he was a real man, started taking off his clothes and I had to knee him in the…well, you know where…"
Asa whipped out his bourbon and two shotglasses, pouring shots, "G.D. have a shot with me. It'll calm my nerves."
Botrina threw it down but she preferred Ouzo.
"Where's your lawyer?" asked Bo.
"Posting my bail," said Botrina.
"That Kevin will pay," said Asa.
Just then Téa walked in with a cop, "You're a free woman for now. However, court's been postponed for the rest of the day. We go back tomorrow."
"Heard that cheap @$$ old man of yours, Manning took you on a date to a video arcade," said Asa grinning, "PacMan his favorite?"
Téa looked at Asa with a dirty look, "Screw you Asa."
The cop opened the cell and Botrina walked out a free woman.
Sonia Satra was walking down the hall dressed as Montana BooBee with her cell phone in one hand and a plastic 9mm in the other. She walked past TG and DJ.
"Did you hear Rog is gonna' sign with Babewatch?" said TG, "Wish I could get that show…"
SS shook her head. Just then Dim and Flo walked up.
"What's up Montana BooBee?" asked Dim.
"Rumors are everywhere that Rog is going to Baywatch," said SS.
Just then SS's cell phone rang.
"Montana BooBee… ah, Sonia here. Ah, Angela Shapiro? Head of ABC daytime? Yeah, I heard that one. Sure. Bye," said SS.
"Who was that?" asked Flo.
"The head of ABC daytime, Angela Shapiro. Whenever's there's a juicy rumor she always call me about it," said SS.
"Hummmmm," said Dim and Flo looking at each other and raising en eyebrow.
Botrina walked into Club Indigo and waltzed right up to the bar. Max and RJ were inventorying the booze.
"Max you heel!" exclaimed Botrina.
"What did I do now?" asked Max.
"Why didn't you come to see me in jail?" asked Botrina.
"You were in jail?" asked Max.
"That's it. We're through. You are so inattentive!" said Botrina.
"After all that Damn therapy?" exclaimed Max.
"Screw the therapy! And screw you!" said Botrina, "Why don't you go chase after Blair's skirts?"
"Maybe I will," said Max.
RJ started to laugh.
Botrina looked at RJ, "What are you laughing at?"
"For such a small woman, you sure pack a wallop," said RJ smiling.
Botrina started laughing, "I'm not that small. I'm 5'6". Besides, just ask Kevin,"
"Am I missing something here?" asked Max.
"Try the boat," said RJ, "C'Mon Botrina, let's go get something to eat." Botrina left with RJ.
Flo knocked on Rog's dressing room door.
"C'Mon in," said RH. He was eating a sandwich he had brought from home since JFP had revoked his commissary privileges, "What's up Flo?"
"There's this rumor going around that you're signing with Babewatch," said Flo.
RH almost gagged, "Baywatch?"
"Please don't gag," said Flo, "And please don't sign with Baywatch. I'll miss you if you do."
RH stood up, "How sweet."
"Besides, if you leave they'll probably put me with…Kevin…and I've had enough of that to last two lifetimes…" said FL frowning.
RH smiled, "That's a fate worse than death. Rest assured, I'm not signing with Baywatch."
FL smiled.
RH put his sandwich down, "I suppose I should set Jill straight."
He opened his door and him and FL went into the hall, "Besides, if I left, I 'd miss you too Flo."
Botrina and Téa were sitting at the plaintiff's table and Nora and Kevin were sitting at the defendant's table. Both sides had presented their cases and the judge was set to rule.
"Well, after Miss Tran's little stunt," started the judge, "And listening to all the testimony and evidence given, I have concluded that Miss Tran and Mister Buchanan do not like each other."
"Tell us something we don't know," whispered Botrina to Téa.
"However good Mister Buchanan's intentions were to hunt down a legitimate story – he recovered faulty information and printed it in the Banner.
Therefore, I find the defendant guilty of libel and award damages to the tune of five million dollars. Case dismissed," said the judge.
Kevin's mouth dropped.
Botrina smiled from ear to ear.
"I finally lost a case," muttered Nora.
Dim and SS were walking down the hall to JFP's office with the mail.
"Boy, this one letter is pretty heavy," said Dim.
"Does it say who it's from?" asked SS.
"Nope," said Dim. As they approached JFP's office they heard shouting coming from it. JFP's office door was cracked and they saw JFP and PL standing at attention while someone was yelling at them.
"NOW LISTEN UP JILL…" said AS.
"But! Angela!" said JFP.
"DON'T BUT ANGELA ME! YOUR SHOW NEEDS ROGER HOWARTH. I WAS DISGUSTED WHEN I HEARD HE MIGHT SIGN WITH THAT SKIN-O-RAMA BAYWATCH…" yelled AS.
"But Rog said…!" said JFP.
"DON'T BUT ROG ME! Here's what I want you to do. Give Rog and Flo back their commissary privileges and increase their character's clothing budget.
And above all…" yelled AS, " SUCK UP TO ROGER. You have him re-signed to this show. Do something out of character and be nice to him. You have your marching orders." AS turned to leave. Dim and SS ran down the hall and watched as AS left.
JFP was wiping the sweat off her brow when SS and Dim walked in.
"Mail call," said Dim.
"I am not in the mood," said JFP.
Dim handed JFP the heavy letter, "This one is for you."
JFP took in and opened it. There was a picture of a bomb on it.
JFP read, "This is a letter bomb from Montana BooBee's fan club. Kevin Sucks. Have BooBee kill him."
PL, Dim and SS started to laugh.
"I can't kill the show's stud," exclaimed JFP.
"Jill," said PL, "I think it's time to come out of the clouds…"
Dim and Flo were in their dressing room at the end of the day getting ready to go home. There was a knock on the door.
"C'Mon in," said Dim.
RH walked in smiling.
"Hey Flo. Hey Dim," said RH.
"Hi Rog," said Dim and Flo in stereo.
"Flo, we got our commissary privileges back," said RH smiling.
"No way!" said Flo.
"And did you see Todd and Téa's get-ups for the opera? Fancy," said RH.
"They gave us more money in the clothing budget?" asked Flo.
"Jill's sucking up big time to get me to re-sign," said RH. RH and FL laughed.
"Got any more scoop?" asked Dim.
"Téa teaches Rod to dance," said Flo.
RH laughed, "They could have chosen a more romantic setting than the docks. Maybe I'll go say something to JFP and let her suck up some more."
"Romance? Todd and Téa? I can't picture it," said Dim, "Can you Flo?"
"Got a year?" asked Flo.

NEXT:
Kevin takes Botrina to court for Battery. The criminal trial.
RJ and Botrina on a date.
JFP takes the day off and leaves PL in charge.
Bob, Sam, and Dim have one last laugh on JFP before Sam leaves
Flo got scoop