OLTL SATIRE-PART SIXTEEN

An OLTL Satire – Part 16 – "Montana BooBee for OLTL EP"
This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
Botrina and Kevin in court.
Montana BooBee's Gun-For-Hire club has it's first meeting.
Bo becomes Botrina's boss
Flo got scoop.

It was early in the morning and Dim got off the subway near the OLTL studios and went walking up to the busy New York street. As Dim walked up to the studio, there was a crowd of fans outside the door holding "Montana BooBee" picket signs.
"Look! It's Botrina!" said a fan.
Dim walked through the crowd.
"Say, Botrina, is BooBee on today?" asked another fan.
"What are you? The Montana BooBee Gun-For-Hire Club?" asked Dim.
"We sure are. We don't email. We don't snail mail. We picket. Is BooBee gonna off Kevil?" asked a passionate fan.
"Ah, I can't say," said Dim. They were just as weird as BooBee was. One fan held up a sign that said, "Montana BooBee for OLTL EP"
"Say, do you guys really like BooBee?" asked Dim.
"We'd like her to get rid of Kevil," said a fan.
"Say, Botrina, are you gonna kick Kevil's @$$ in court?" asked another fan.
"Can't tell trade secrets," said Dim running into the studio.
The director yelled action and Dim, as Botrina, walked into her office at Buchanan Enterprises in a power suit. Asa and Bo were all ready there.
"G.D. Paw. What are you doing here?" asked Botrina walking up behind her desk.
"Botrina, you've got a new boss," said Asa smiling.
"Oh? Who?" asked Botrina organizing the paperwork on her desk for Kelly to go through.
"Me," said Bo, "I'm the new President of Buchanan Enterprises."
"Daa…d," muttered Botrina trying to smile, "Ah, do you know what you're doing?"
"I know a little bit about everything. I think we'll make a great team," said Bo.
In walked Téa Delgado Manning, "Botrina, are you ready to do to court? We' re due in thirty minutes."
"So, Téa," said Asa, "What chorus of Stand By Your Man are you on today?"
Téa gave Asa a dirty look, "Screw you, Asa."
"G.D., I really like you and all but how come you have to associate with everyone I don't like. Like Téa. Like Max. That man is BAD for you…" started in Asa.
"G.D.," said Botrina, "I really don't need another lecture on Buchanan ethics and hypocrisy."
"Botrina, why are you going to court?" asked Bo.
"I gotta sue Kevin for libel. He printed some lies about me," said Botrina writing some notes for Kelly.
"What lies did he print?" asked Bo.
"Oh. He just accused me of industrial espionage," muttered Botrina, "I'll call you from court."
Botrina and Téa walked out. Bo and Asa just smiled at each other.
Botrina and Téa sat at the plaintiff table and Kevin and Nora sat at the defendant table. Opening statements dragged on all morning and the judge broke the trial for lunch. As Botrina was walking out she got behind Kevin and "accidentally" on purpose bumped into him so he fell down.
"Did you see that!" whined Kevin, "She pushed me!"
He stood up. There was blood on his lip.
"Oh, Kevie-Wevie, did you hurt your lip?" whined Botrina.
Nora got in-between Botrina and Kevin, "Don't you even think about touching my client."
"I'm soooo scared. The Voodoo chicken spirit really made me afraid," taunted Botrina sticking her tongue out at Kevin.
Kevin made a fist, "You're a coward Botrina. You hide behind Grandfather's skirts!"
"Asa's a man. A real man. Who knows how to ride a horse," said Botrina.
"I'll show you a real man," said Kevin unbuttoning his shirt.
"Ewewewewewew… NO ONE wants to see it," said Téa, "Especially me. AGAIN."
"Kevin, are you sure you're a real man?" asked Botrina.
Kevin lunged for Botrina but Botrina was quick. Her knee went up connecting with Kevin's groin. Kevin fell down like a rock clutching…well, you know what he was clutching…and began to cry.
"Officer! Arrest this woman for assault!" yelled Nora.
A cop, looking like Barney Fife, but not Drew, came running up.
"Can I claim self defense?" Botrina asked Téa as the cop read Botrina her rights. The cop cuffed Botrina and took her to jail. Téa followed.
Dim and LK walked into JFP's office with the mail. JFP put the phone down and smiled.
"What's up Jill?" asked Dim.
"I just found out my TV guide interview was a smashing success. So, did you know Barbara has a fan club? They call themselves the Montana BooBee Gun-For-Hire Club . They almost mugged me as I walked into the studios today chanting Montana BooBee for OLTL EP," said JFP.
"Yeah, they're pretty passionate…" said LK.
"They want BooBee to off Kevin," said Dim.
"But Kevin is the show's stud," said JFP. Just then PL walked in.
"I thought I'd walk in today instead of waiting for you to buzz me on that musical intercom of yours," said PL.
"Hi Pam," said Dim and LK.
"Hi guys," said PL.
"So, give it to me straight," said JFP.
"We got a plea here to give DF some acting lessons," said LK.
"What? He doesn't need any acting lessons with a bod like his," said JFP.
She lit up a ciggie.
"Fans are pissed the RJ and Carlotta story with Mr. Ditty went nowhere," said Dim.
JFP frowned and dragged on her ciggie, "Pam, break up Botrina and Max and hook Botrina up with RJ."
"After all that Damn therapy!!" exclaimed Dim.
"Well, RJ needs a story right?" asked JFP.
"Maybe you need to talk to Erika again about getting some more wacky weed," whispered LK to Dim.
"What are the poll results, Pam? Which love on the rocks couple do the viewers want to see?" asked JFP.
"Todd and Téa," said PL.
"How many votes did Kevin and Cassie get?" asked JFP.
"Only 11%. Todd and Téa got 68%," said PL.
"That's it. Take Rog and Flo's commissary privileges away for a week," said JFP.
"But Jill, they gotta eat!" said PL.
"Pam, just give the viewers more Kevin and Cassie!" demanded JFP.
"Jill, keep this up and you might get a letter bomb," said PL.
Dim and Flo were in their dressing room chugging H20. There was a knock on the door.
"C'Mon in," said Dim.
"It's wardrobe, Miss Lozano. Here's your outfit for your next scene." A pimple faced boy held up a pastel purple looking thing that obviously would hug curves.
FL took it and the boy left. FL and DW looked aghast.
"What happened to Téa's power suits? Why do they insist putting me in colors that do not complement me?" asked FL.
Just then RH bust in holding a pair of really baggie jeans and a no sleeve t-shirt, "I think wardrobe got me confused with one of those newbies… Will or something…Not even "Tom" would be caught dead in this. I'll look like a thug."
"Looks like JFP cut the budget for Todd and Téa's wardrobe," giggled Dim. RH and FL looked disgusted.
"So, what's the scoop? Besides the budget cut? Why are you two in these clothes?" asked Dim.
"Tom's taking Téa to a video arcade for a date," said Téa.
"The video arcade?" exclaimed Dim, "You call that romance?"
"Got a year?" asked Flo.

NEXT:
The winner of Kevin and Botrina's court case is announced. After Botrina posts bail that is.
Botrina gives Max the boot and eyes RJ.
JFP gets a letter bomb from Montana BooBee's gun for hire club.
Flo got scoop.