OLTL SATIRE-PART FIFTEEN

An OLTL Satire – Part 15 – "Botrina, you've been cursed by the evil Voodoo Chicken"
This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature

WHAT HAPPENS:
Kevin buys voodoo charms from Roseanne.
JFP takes away RJ and Carlotta's story
Dim finds out JFP's secret
Flo got scoop.

Flo and Dim were in their dressing room chugging H20.
Sonia Satra popper her head in through the door, cell phone attached to her ear.
"Hey, did you hear the new rumor?" asked SS.
"Ah, no," said Dim.
"They're trying to get Linda Dano to take over the part of Dorian," said SS.
"Old news," said Flo, "You got anything current?"
SS dialed a number on her cell phone.
"What are you doing?" asked Dim.
"I'm calling dial-a-rumor," said SS.
"Oh, by the way, This is for you," said Dim handing SS a bunch of letters.
"Mail? For me? But NO ONE likes BooBee," said SS.
"Surprise. It seems NO ONE likes Kevin either. A bunch of fans want BooBee to 'off' Kevin with an assault rifle so they're starting up a BooBee fan club. They're calling it, Montana BooBee's Gun for Hire Club," said Dim chuckling.
Just then SS started screaming, "OH! OH! OH!"
"Don't keep us in suspense," said Flo, "Out with it."
"Starr and River are going to come down with SORAS and be aged to sixteen so they can join the Jessie/Will/Roseanne/Cris teen crowd," said SS.
"That's gotta be a rumor. JFP can't be that stupid…" said Dim.
Deep within the OLTL studios, lurking in a dark, damp, corner is JFP talking on a cell phone, "Maggie Anderson? I'm thinking about aging Starr…"
Dim walked onto the set dressed in a Power Suit. Flo and GT were there too.
The director yelled action and Dim walked into Botrina's office at Buchanan Enterprises followed by Téa and Kelly.
"Botrina, you're lucky Nora doesn't sue you for that catfight you had at the Palace," said Kelly.
"Nora won't sue me. She knows that'll piss off Bo and she doesn't want to piss off Bo," said Botrina walking up behind her desk. Téa and Kelly stopped in front of the desk.
"Why will it piss off Bo?" asked Kelly.
"Duh. Bo's my father. And he likes me," said Botrina picking up some papers. Out fell a small felt bag with crazy voodoo symbols on it.
"What's this?" asked Botrina holding up the bag.
"Looks like one of Junior's voodoo bags," said Téa.
Botrina opened the bag and shook it. Chicken bones fell onto her desk along with a note. Botrina, Téa, and Kelly all raised an eyebrow. Botrina picked up the note and read it.
"Botrina – you've been cursed by the Voodoo Chicken god. You will lose in court now. Kevin," read Botrina, "HA. HA. HA. You have got to be kidding me. When are we going to court?"
"Tomorrow," said Téa.
"How's the case looking? I'm not losing to the evil voodoo chicken god, am I?" asked Botrina.
"Kevil – opps, I mean, Kevin doesn't have a leg to stand on," said Téa.
"I know. He's got paws," said Botrina, "Well, bring TinTin on. I'm ready for him."
Just then Asa walked in with a bottle of bourbon.
"G.D., I heard you're suing my grandson, Kevin. Can't you work it out instead of going to court?" asked Asa.
"G.D., I would if I wasn't cursed by the evil voodoo chicken god," said Botrina.
Asa whipped out shotglasses from his pockets and poured the bourbon, "May the best Buchanan win," said Asa.
They all did a shot with Asa.
Dim and LK were walking to JFP's office with the mail and passed PL's office door. PL's door was open. Dim stuck her head in but PL wasn't there. Dim heard noises coming from PL's intercom. Dim motioned for LK to follow her. Twilight Zone music lightly played over the intercom.
"…Pam, I'm thinking about aging Starr…" came JFP over the intercom.
"…NO WAY!" came PL's voice.
"Pam, only you know and I know…" came JFP's voice.
LK and Dim looked at each other. They knew now too.
"…that I'm reusing plots from Guiding Light and Santa Barbara…" came JFP's voice.
Dim and LK bolted out of PL's office and hightailed it to JFP's office.
They burst into JFP's office a bit out of breath.
"Mail call girls?" asked JFP.
"You won't get away with it," said Dim.
"Get away with what?" asked JFP smoking a ciggie.
"If you SORAS Starr and River I'll spill your secret," said Dim.
"I'm TOO young to have a sixteen year old!" exclaimed LK.
"What secret?" asked JFP.
"That you're reusing old GL and SB plots," said Dim, 'That'll ruin you in the business."
"BUSTED!!" said JFP, "How did you find out?"
"I don't tell my secrets," said Dim.
"All right," said JFP, "Don't go anywhere Pam. Give me the scoop on the mail."
"The fans are happy RJ and Carlotta have a story…" said LK.
"Kill the RJ-Carlotta story, Pam," said JFP, "I want more Will and Roseanne."
"Jill, it's not a good idea to shove Will and Roseanne down people's throats…" started Pam.
"Just do it," said JFP.
"Ratings went down with K&T phony smut…" said Dim.
"OH WELL," said JFP, "Give 'em more Will and Roseanne."
"…And Botrina's Power Suit Army wants to Botrina kick Kevil's @$$…in court…" said LK.
"I don't know why the fans don't like Kevin. He's so hot with that rose tattoo," muttered JFP, "Just for that – give the fans more Kevin!"
PL nodded her head in disgust.
It was the end of the day. Flo and Dim were in their dressing room chugging more H20.
"Got scoop?" asked Dim.
"You won't believe this," said Flo.
"Try me," said Dim.
"Tom takes Téa out on a date," said Flo.
"Where to?" asked Dim.
"The petting zoo," muttered Flo.
Dim shook her head in disgust, "You think it will ever end?"
"Got a year?" asked Flo.

NEXT:
Botrina and Kevin in court.
The Montana BooBee Gun-For-Hire club has its first meeting.
Bo becomes Botrina's boss
Flo got scoop