OLTL SATIRE-PART ELEVEN

An OLTL Satire – Part XI – "Flo, you're in cahoots w/Rog!! Where's the bird?"
This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature.

WHAT HAPPENS:
Will RH free Moose from Kevin's clutches only to have Moose return to banishment in the kitchen?
Botrina catches a fish and TP's the millhouse.
Dim and Bob Woods are tasked to pick up the mail and Dim "accidentally" loses some campaign mail.
Flo got scoop.

Flo and Dim were in their dressing room chugging H20 and reviewing their scripts. It was a pretty quiet morning.
"JUNIOR!! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!" came a cry.
Flo and Dim opened up the door, their eyes peering over the doorway's ledge.
EP was hugging the hallway wall while RH was running down the hall with Moose on his shoulder squawking, "On the Left!" "On the Left!"
"Lemme in here!!" said RH busting into Flo and Dim's dressing room.
"What's going on Rog?" asked Flo.
"Tim's on my heels. Let me hide in here. Dim go out there and do damage control with Junior," said RH.
"Not a problem," said Dim walking into the hallway.
"What?" asked Erika walking up to Dim.
TG came running down the hall, "Have you see Roger? I think he stole Moose!"
"Whose Moose?" asked Erika.
"Hang on here. Who stole Moose first?" asked Dim.
"He's in your dressing room isn't he? Rog and Flo are pretty tight…" said TG walking toward Dim's door.
"Tim! Rog went down the hall – that way," said Dim pointing away from her door.
"I don't believe you," said TG looking at Dim.
"Nah, he did," said EP backing Dim up. TG looked at EP and frowned. Then he followed Dim's direction. EP whipped out a voodoo doll and stuck a pin in it, "Habit," she said.
After TG was gone, Dim stuck her head back in the dressing room.
"That was close," said RH. Dim and Erika raised an eyebrow. Flo laughed.
The director yelled action. Dim, as Botrina, walked onto the set. She was wearing a flannel shirt, a fishing hat, jeans, and a pair of hip waders.
She was holding a fish and fishing pole. Bo and Drew were sitting beside a campfire cleaning fish.
"Trina," said Bo, "I see you caught a fish."
"I think it's a carp," muttered Botrina throwing the fish on a pan near the fire.
"It's a trout," said Drew. Botrina sat down next to Drew, "So, you going to give Kelly a job?" asked Drew.
"Kelly needs a clue first," said Botrina.
"Now, isn't this fun? Fishing as a family?" asked Bo smiling, "I'm just happy having my kids here."
Botrina looked at Drew and they smirked.
Just then Botrina's cell phone started ringing. Botrina pulled it out of her shirt.
"Botrina Tran Buchanan here… how much? Well, pay it. I'm going to need some TP. I've got an idea. Leave it at the agreed upon location. Big Thanks. Hershey Hugs," said Botrina finishing the conversation.
"Botrina! We're supposed to be roughing it! No modern day gadgets," said Bo.
"Sorry Dad. I've got… plans you know…" said Botrina with an evil smile. Bo tussled his daughter's curly hair.
Just then TG came running through the set holding Moose tightly with both hands.
"Bad guy!" said Moose, "Bad guy!"
A few minutes later RH came running through the set. Dim pointed in the direction TG ran in and RH followed.
"And I thought I had the market on jokes," muttered Bob Woods.
Dim and SB chuckled as the director yelled action. They tip-toe'd through the woods with rolls of TP in their hands.
"Tell me again what's going in," muttered Drew.
"We're making some childhood memories. Ever TP a house when you were a kid?" asked Botrina.
"I might have," said Drew.
"Well, I thought the millhouse needed some redecorating," said Botrina as they walked up to the millhouse. Botrina and Drew squatted down in the bushes. Just then RH walked out of the millhouse, whistling, hands in his pockets, with Moose on his shoulder.
Botrina and Drew looked at each other and giggled.
"DAMN YOU ROGER!" came a cry. RH bolted as TG threw the millhouse doors open and chased after him.
Dim and Bob Woods were in the mailroom.
"It sure was nice of you Bob to give Kassie a break from the mail," said Dim.
"I have my moments. Say what have we here?" asked Bob holding up a stack of mail. Dim peered over his shoulder.
"It looks like a bunch of campaign mail," said Dim reading it, "AH! They want Botrina and Sykes – together??" exclaimed Dim in shock, "NO WAY!" Bob laughed, "Man, that's crazy."
Dim took the campaign mail and dropped it in the incinerator, "Whoops. Jill will never know."
Dim and Bob scooped up the mail and walked up to JFP's office.
"LOOK OUT!" came a cry. TG came barreling down the hall, clutching Moose for dear life. Moose's beak was gagged. Dim just barely avoided being knocked over. JFP opened her office door. RH came whizzing down the hall in full pursuit.
"GIMME THAT BIRD BACK!" exclaimed RH.
"Boys will be boys," said JFP giggling.
"Mail call," said Dim and Bob. JFP let them in.
Dim dropped the mail on JFP's desk.
"Give it to me straight," said JFP dragging on a ciggie.
Bob Woods chuckled, "O.k. – I'll give to you straight. Dim threw out some campaign mail."
"Bob! You narc!" exclaimed Dim.
"Big deal. I pay it no mind anyway. So, Dim, what do you think of Sykes and Botrina?" asked JFP.
Dim wrinkled her brow, "Not my type. So, ah, Jill, ratings are up…"
JFP cut Dim off by pressing her intercom. Twilight Zone music filled the air, "Gotta get that intercom fixed. PAM! GET IN HERE!"
"Ah, Jill," said Bob, "The Botrina Tran Power Suit Army wants Dim to do a fan club lunch."
"Good idea. We need some good press. Send Sam Ball too. He needs some good press," said JFP.
"For a fan club lunch?" asked Dim, "My fan club lunch?"
"Well, maybe you can share your fans with poor Sam," said JFP.
Just then PL walked in, "Jill, I'm trying to write here."
"Pam, ratings are up. What do you have TnT doing?" asked JFP.
"Ah, getting along. I've got some pretty steamy stuff coming up…" said PL smiling.
"Put 'em on hold Pam. We gotta draw out the tortured romance thing some more. Have Téa act like a waffle again…" said JFP.
"Huh?" muttered Pam, "But I thought.."
"Tortured Romance Thing, Pam," said JFP.
"How about something new? Kidnapping? Jail? A vacation?" suggested PL.
"Whatever, Pam. Just draw it out…" said JFP.
PL left. Dim and Bob smirked.
It was the end of the day. Flo and Dim were chugging H20 in their dressing room. Just then TG bust in the room holding a stuffed parrot.
"Tim!" exclaimed Dim, "Don't you know how to knock?"
"Flo! I know you're in cahoots with Rog. Where's the bird?" demanded TG.
"Moose?" asked Flo trying hard not to laugh.
"No. The bird!" demanded Tim.
"Sorry, Tim, I just don't know," said Flo. TG left.
"What's that all about?" asked Dim.
"Rog finally got Moose away from Tim but had to hide him the Penthouse kitchen again so Tim couldn't find him," said Flo laughing. Dim giggled too.
"Got any good scoop?" asked Dim.
"Todd and Téa go to a rock concert," said Flo.
"Cool. Who ya' going to see?" asked Dim.
"Nudgie," said Flo laughing.
"You're kidding!" said Dim.
"Yeah, I am actually," said Flo, "Matchbox 20, I think."
"Man! You guys get to do the cool stuff!" exclaimed Dim.
"Well, Roseanne tags along," said Flo.
"So how long does JFP plan on dragging this out?" asked Dim.
"Got a year?" asked Flo.

NEXT:
Dim and SB do a fan club lunch
Kevin hires Nora as his lawyer
JFP pays a visit to the set
Botrina hires Kelly (Kelly REALLY wants a job)
Flo got scoop.