OLTL SATIRE-PART TEN

An OLTL Satire – Part X – "Moose has been in the kitchen – I think." This is a work of fiction. It is meant to be satirical in nature

WHAT HAPPENS:
Bo, Botrina, and Drew go fishing
SOD publishes it's summer best/worst issue
PL sets JFP straight about the mail.
Flo got more scoop
Todd calls Roseanne "Junior".

Dim and Flo were chugging H20 in their dressing room going over some lines.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in," said Dim.
It was EP, "Hey, Flo, want to go over some lines?"
"Sure, come in," said Flo. Erika sat down in a chair.
Just then RH BUST in, "Flo!! Have you seen the latest script?"
Dim, Erika, and Flo looked at RH. RH was upset.
"Noooo," said Flo. RH threw a copy at her and Flo skimmed it. Then Flo began cussing in Spanish.
Dim turned to Erika, "You gotta teach me this Spanish thing…"
"We gotta see JFP!" said RH.
"I agree," said Flo getting up.
"What is it? What's wrong?" asked Dim and Erika in stereo.
"You don't want to know just yet Junior," said RH as him and Flo left.
"Junior?" asked Dim.
Erika grinned, "Roseanne reminds Todd of Téa – you know – the in-your-face thing so now I'm Junior."
"Oh," said Dim. Dim thought it was cute.
The director yelled action. Dim, as Botrina, was sitting behind her desk at Buchanan Enterprises in a power suit. Kelly Cramer walked in and Botrina stood up.
"Kelly, what brings you here?" asked Botrina.
"I need a job and Drew said you would consider me," said Kelly.
"Ah, what can you do?" asked Botrina.
"Well, you need an Admin assistant, right?" asked Kelly.
"Do you have any experience? Any schooling? Can you be down right mean if you have too?" asked Botrina.
"No, but I'll work hard," said Kelly.
"Great," said Botrina, "Look, I need someone with a clue who is sharp and can make good quick decisions…"
"Give me a chance Botrina!" said Kelly.
"O.k., look – come back in a week with a clue. I don't care how you get one – just get one and if you work out, I'll hire you," said Botrina.
"Thanks," said Kelly leaving. As Kelly walked out, Téa D. Manning walked in.
"You called?" asked Téa.
"Yeah, it's time to put the screws to Kevin," said Botrina.
"What's the plan?" asked Téa.
"Any recommendations on how much I can take him for?" asked Botrina.
"How about 5 million?" asked Téa.
"Sure. Here's the job. Serve him w/papers and get on the court docket asap. Find out who all his little snitches are so I can pay them off so he won't have anymore," Botrina wrote something on a piece of paper and gave it to Téa, "This is the electronic company I worked for in California. Find out who snitched to Kevin. And stock up on Voodoo dolls, pins, needles, TP, and rotten eggs."
Just then Asa, Bo, and Drew walked in. Bo and Drew were wearing fishing hats, holding fishing poles, lures, and a box of worms. Bo threw a pair of hip-waders on Botrina's desk.
"What's this?" asked Botrina in shock.
"I'm taking my kids fishing," said Bo, "Suit up."
"Ah, what about that psycho wife of yours that doesn't like me too much?" asked Botrina frowning.
"She went to visit Rachel in jail this week," said Bo.
"Oh. Well, Dad, I'm running a big business here. I can't go fishing," said Botrina.
"G.D.," said Asa, "I'll run the show. You just spend some time with your family."
"What does G.D. stand for?" asked Drew.
"Grand Daughter," said Botrina, "Ah, G.D. can you picture me – FISHING?"
"Trina, you got 5 minutes to suit up," said Bo smiling.
Botrina looked at Téa who laughed her @$$ off at Botrina.
Kassie dePaiva caught up with Dim in the hallway and Dim a memo.
"What's this?" asked Dim.
"Pam finally told Jill where to go with the mail so Jill is tasking us to pick up the mail on a weekly basis and brief her. This week it's our job," explained Kassie.
"You have got to be kidding me," said Dim rolling her eyes. Kassie frowned too.
Later that day, Kassie and Dim walked into JFP's office with a pile of snail mail. Dim dropped the pile on JFP's desk. JFP stood up. A ciggie in her mouth.
"Mail call girls?" asked JFP.
Dim smirked, "Uh, huh."
"Give it to me straight," said JFP dragging on her ciggie.
"Well, there's a campaign going on that demand that Botrina SMACK! Sykes everytime he touches Téa," said Kassie.
"I don't pay those campaigns any mind. Besides, how can you deny the chemistry between Téa and Sykes?" asked JFP.
"Maybe because it's non-existent?" whispered Dim to Kassie.
"Dim, do you have something to say?" asked JFP.
"Well, the KATAC president sent us a year's supply of Kevie-Wevie voodoo dolls," said Dim.
"That Kevin's a pretty hot number, huh?" asked JFP.
"If you say so," said KdP.
"Are the ratings up or down?" asked JFP.
"Jill, it was rough week," said KdP.
"Meaning?" asked JFP.
"Well, ratings are still down. Everytime Sykes touches Téa ratings plummet," said Dim.
JFP pushed a button on her intercom and Twilight Zone music filled the air, "PAM! GET IN HERE!!"
"SOD did a summer best/worst issue," said KdP.
"How'd we do?" asked JFP.
"Dim got best newcomer, TnT got most Tortured Romance and the Georgie whodunit got best thriller," said KdP.
"And the bad news?" asked JFP.
"Well, Cassie/Kevin/BooBee got worst triangle, Cassie got an "F" in babysitting, and the writers got dinged for their lack of time it takes to travel between Llanview and Boston, Niagara Falls, Illinois, and Las Vegas," said Dim.
PL walked in, "You rang?"
"Pam, ratings are down. Do something. Throw out some TnT crumbs to the fans…" said JFP.
"Jill, with all due respect," said PL sucking up, "I think the fans need more than crumbs…"
JFP frowned, "O.k. Pam. Do what you need to do."
Dim walked into her dressing room. Flo was calm and drinking water.
"Flo, got scoop?" asked Dim.
"Well, Rog got upset when the script said that Roseanne got rid of Moose by selling him…"
Dim cut her off, "Waitasec. Moose hasn't been on in months!"
"Well, Moose is hiding in the kitchen – I think. Anyway, it's just not right to get rid of Moose like that," said Flo, "So we went to see JFP to appeal to her nice side."
"What was the result?" asked Dim.
"The good news is we get to keep Moose. The bad news is Kevin's gonna kidnap Moose and hold him hostage until Todd fesses up faking his childlike and desire to please behavior," explained Flo.
"You need Botrina's help on this one?" asked Dim.
"Actually Rog has a great plan to free Moose from Kevin's clutches," said Flo.
"Let's hear it," said Dim.
"Got a year?" asked Flo.

NEXT:
Will RH free Moose from Kevin's clutches only to have Moose return to the banishment of the kitchen?
Botrina catches a fish and TP's the millhouse
Dim and Bob Woods are tasked to pick up the mail. Dim accidentally loses some "campaign" mail.
Flo got scoop.