MI AMADO - PART FIVE

"Tonight we'll build a bridge
Across the sea and land
See the sky, the burning rain
She will die and live again
Tonight" --U2

Standing at the end of Téa's bed, Todd glanced out of the large fourth story hospital room window that overlooked most of Llanview. The street lights were all illuminated in the dark of the night. They shimmered as silver and gold against the black canvas of the sky. The hospital room was dark; lit only by a small florescent light over the head of the bed casting shades over Téa's body as she lay perfectly still in the hospital bed.
Reaching out amongst the shadows of the room, Todd touched the impression that her feet made from under the blanket. Vacantly gazing at the stark white of the blanket, Todd took in a heavy breath.
"Some nights, when I fall asleep, I dream about lying in my bed as a kid and feeling this weight on me" Todd said very slowly as he pulled his hand away from the blanket.
"This pressure, like someone... like he was...again..." he said, fumbling through the sentence. "And when I wake up it's like there's this ghost in the room... hovering over me, pressing onto me" he finally managed to finish as his face twisted from the anguish that overwhelmed him.
"It used to happen every time I'd fall asleep" Todd almost mumbled as he continued to look at the floor beneath his feet. "It was just so cold in that penthouse" he added, glancing out the window once again.
"And then you..." he stated simply as he finally raised his head up to look at Téa's face.
Purple and battered, Téa's left eye was swollen shut. Her jaw line also seemed puffy, cuts and scrapes covered her face haphazardly. Her mouth was only open a crack to let the ventilator tube into her mouth.
Seeing the ventilator for the first time Todd's face cracked with despair. "Ah man" Todd said grabbing his head in an effort to control all the emotions that seemed to tug at his insides
. Pulling the strands of hair off his face.
Todd shifted uncomfortably in his station by the side of her bed.
"Ah, look at this" Todd said raising his hand and gesturing towards the tubes and wires that Téa seemed to be hopelessly entangled in. Breaking his long glance at her Todd moved swiftly around the bed and to the window. Silence filled the empty room as he stood quietly watching the lights, his face seeming strained in the dim light.
"What have I ever given you Téa?" Todd asked, his face contorting in a look of disgust. "Besides pain" Todd lamented as he stared out over the city lights.
"And you, you've given me so much" he whispered, suddenly turning around to look at her.
"You helped me hold onto Starr, kept Dorian and Blair from taking her away from me" Todd stated, his eyes opening wide as he stared at her still form
. "And you gave me.....this feeling" he confessed as he stepped up to her bedside once again, his face stretched in an effort to try and communicate what he was feeling.
"This feeling that never goes away; whether I'm at work or in the car or standing in the kitchen eating over the sink...even when we fight" Todd said as his mouth twitched with a small grin. "I told Sam... and he said that it was love"
Todd breathed and then paused. "But he was wrong" Todd said, letting his words hang heavily in the air for a second before speaking again, "It's so much more than that Téa." Todd exhaled looking down at her, his eyes burning with unshed tears. "You gave me so much more than just a word" he gasped as a tear flowed down his cheek.
Todd suddenly reached out and pulled the lever that triggered the side bar of the bed to lower. Stretching his arm out, Todd carefully brushed his hand against her swollen cheek. His finger traced over her eyebrows and crossed her forehead touching the roots of her hair as Todd leaned forward. Closing his eyes, trying desperately to contain the sudden rush of emotion he felt, he pressed his lips against her own. As the ventilator hissed and pumped in the background, Todd slowly pulled back from her, his stomach feeling more hollow than ever
. A sudden high pitched noise filled the room and Todd's head jerked up to look at the heart monitor. The line was flat. The squealing sound ringing through his ears
. "Someone! she-" he started to say as he yanked open the door but was cut off when Drew shot into the room followed by a doctor and two nurses. Todd was surprised at their quick appearance and stepped back awkwardly.
"What did you do Manning?" Drew accused as Todd tugged his shaking hands through his hair. "Someone get the crash cart!" the doctor said as he started CPR. "Now! quick!" the doctor nearly shouted when neither of the nurses moved.
Overcome, Todd turned suddenly and rushed out of the room. Storming recklessly through the door Todd nearly ran directly into Sykes.
"Why was he in there?" Sykes barked as Drew emerged from Téa's room after Todd.
"What's going on Todd?" Sam asked stepping toward an overwrought Todd.
"Sh-she just-" Todd started to say but stopped short looking caught up in his own maze of confusion and fear.
"What did you do Manning? Turn her ventilator off? Might as well finish the job you started huh?" Drew stated maliciously as he gave Todd a shove from behind. Anger swelled in Todd's chest; turning violently, Todd swung around and punched Drew square in the jaw. As Todd pulled back to hit Drew again Sam grabbed Todd's forearm.
"Todd" Sam pleaded, holding him back with an effort.
Pulling out a portable police walkie-talkie, Sykes spoke almost too calmly into the mouth piece. "I need two more officers down on this end of the sixth floor, Quickly!" Sykes stated as he watched Sam struggle to hold Todd back.
Todd tore out of Sam's clutches as the nurse reappeared with the crash cart. Hurrying by him she pushed into Téa's room.
Todd started to follow when Sykes stepped in front of him. "You're not going to go anywhere near her again. Do you understand me?" Sykes stated going eye to eye with Todd.
"Get out of my way" Todd growled trying to step around him. Sykes pulled his arms up to push Todd back but Todd slapped them away.
"Cuff him" Sykes said as he looked over Todd's shoulder at the rapidly approaching police officers.
Forcefully pushing Sykes aside, Todd tried to reenter the room. The door swung open part of the way and the doctor could be seen giving Téa CPR as the nurse prepared the shock pedals. Before Todd could move any farther Sykes grabbed him by the back of the shirt and with the help of the other officers pulled his hands behind his back.
"Téa!" Todd called out in a strangled voice as the officers pushed his face down onto the linoleum. The feeling of the tiles pressed up against his face made Todd's stomach turn suddenly. A slow rumbling of fear and panic swept over him, like nothing he had ever felt in all his adult years. His heart thudded in his chest as the officers pressed down upon him to try and control his violent outburst. His throat constricted and Todd gasped in a vain attempt to get oxygen.
A swell of memories seemed to creep up on him from out of nowhere. Struggling against the officers, Todd tried to forcefully regain control of his own thoughts as well as the officers restraintment. And then he was out of himself, out of the hospital, out of his 29 years. The 15 years that separated him from that night melted away and suddenly he was 14 again... 14 again as his father pressed down on top of him. Not being able to breath, choking on his own disgust, horror and his brand new feelings of self-loathing.
Squeezing his eyes shut Todd had tried to pull himself out of his body, escape before it was too late to save any part of himself from Peter Manning's violation. Protecting himself as Peter tore him apart both inside and out, so savagely that 15 years later, on the floor of Llanview hospital, it nearly ate him alive all over again.
Sam watched helplessly as Todd struggled against the officers. He stepped forward and was about to try and reason with them when Todd suddenly let out an inhuman scream. Todd's face contorted in a look of ultimate pain, beyond anything that the officers were subjecting him too. Sam stared in shock as Todd's eyes communicated a look of terror that Sam had only seen once before. He remembered itclearly even though 15 years had passed since he had last seen it.
"Stop! Get off him!" Sam shouted snapping into action as Todd cried out again. Sam yanked the officers off and pushed them away and they stared at him as if he was crazy.
"What do you think you're doing!?" Sykes asked heatedly as he started to reach for Sam's shoulder.
"I said stop" Sam stated firmly as he focused his attention on Todd.
As soon as the pressure was relieved Todd scrambled up into a sitting position. Backing himself up against the wall, Todd pushed futilely against it as he tried to get farther away from Sam and the officers. A look of horror was fixated in his eyes as he seemed to look right through Sam.
"Boomer?" Sam tentatively asked as he crouched beside him on the floor. Todd flinched at the sound of his voice and motioned, with body language, for Sam not to come any closer.
"Hey, where are you Todd?" Sam asked quietly, careful not to make any moves toward him.
"Mr. Manning?" A voice said from above both Todd and Sam's heads. Sam looked up to see Téa's doctor standing outside her door. Todd sat still on the floor without acknowledging the doctors presence. Breathing heavily through the fog of his hair, Todd seemed to untwist slightly.
"Todd" Sam said as he gave him a slight nudge. Todd lifted his head, aware of his surroundings once more, and fixed his eyes on Sam's finally. Looking to his left and seeing the doctor Todd struggled to get to his feet.
"Is she?" Todd started and then stopped, feeling a sudden wave of dizziness come over him.
Seeing Todd waver, Sam placed one of his hands on his back "Hey, are you all right?" Sam asked as he watched Todd try to regain his balance.
"Yeah, I'm fine" Todd growled throwing off Sam's touch.
"How is she?" he asked, focusing back on the doctor.
Sighing, the doctors posture seemed to become ridged as he looked Todd evenly in the eye.

TO BE CONTINUED