PREVIOUSLY

Tea: Who are you expecting?

Todd: It is Bukeland here...

Tea: Oh... (Looks at hands resignedly.) Look, I don't expect Bo tonight --

Todd: (Watching doorway.) -- Not him...

Tea: Can we just have a quiet meal, Todd?

Todd: Maybe. The tall guy just shambled in.

[Scene ends.]

**************************************************************************************************

[Scene: Palace Restaurant Dining Room, moments later.]

Asa: Renee, can we have a nice quiet dinner alone tonight? Say, a couple steaks, some good brandy...?

Renee: I'm on duty, cowboy. (Darts a quick look over at Todd and Tea's table.) Why don't you go have Nigel cook for you and we can have a nightcap when I'm done here?

Asa: Are we still married, woman?

Renee: Asa! Of course we're still married!

Asa: You sure don't act like it these days.

Renee: It's summer tourist season and we've been doing good business. I run this place hands-on, just like you run your company.

Asa: Fine. I want you home, pronto, and in my bed.

Renee: Well, you'll just have to wait your turn, cowboy.

Asa: It's been years since you've said that to me, I hope it doesn't mean what it meant back then.

Renee: Honestly, Asa.

Asa: Does it?

Renee: You're unbelievable. No, it does not. This is my life now, not the other. I will tell you it taught me some things I still use.

Asa: (His eyes have been slowly scanning the room throughout, until he is distracted when he sees Todd and Tea talking quietly at their table. He takes off, crossing to them.) Well, well, well, what have we here?

Todd: Not something you can have, old man.

Asa: Oh, quite the contrary, boy. I believe I can have you anytime I want to now.

Todd: (His body stiffens visibly, his face tense.)

Tea: (Standing up to Asa and looking up at him:) And just what do you mean by that, Asa? It's obviously some kind of threat, just what do you mean to imply?

Asa: I see your woman does your fighting for you still, boy.

Todd: (Slowly standing up, evincing a bland expression but his body seems coiled for attack, quietly:) We are a team. What does your threat aim to prove to us, hmm? That you can push buttons? That you can blackmail? We're here to have a quiet dinner out together, like any other couple.

Asa: What would you know of normality, you little freak?

Todd: (Remaining composed but still ready to strike Asa, coolly says:) I may be a freak, but my child at least knows who her mother is. I never locked my first wife away and told her kids she was dead.

Asa: How do you know --

Todd: I'm a newspaperman, old man, I have sources and a good memory.

Asa: I can take that kid of yours away from you for good, Manning.

Todd: You can't touch her and you know it.

Asa: With my money, your ex-wife can take her from you for the rest of your life. I can bleed you dry or have you sent back to Statesville, but either way, I can make you lose your kid.

Todd: Go ahead and try, Buchanan. You divorced Blair once for nearly killing you, do you seriously want to get in bed with her again?

[Renee, out of earshot because their voices are so far low, watches the exchange from across the room while distractedly taking reservations.]

Asa: I wouldn't bed that she-devil again if my life depended on it.

Todd: But you'd team up with her, thinking that this time she wouldn't double-cross you again, huh?

Asa: Something like that.

Todd: (Coolly:) You're a bigger fool than I ever thought if you'd team up with Blair, knowing what Blair is. Not even the two of you together can take my kid from me, but by all means try.

Asa: I won't try, I'll win.

Tea: Ahhh. The truth comes out at last.

Todd: This is all about me. I guess I should be flattered by all your effort and attention on my behalf.

Asa: About you? Why would I --

Todd: Because the secret is you love sparring with me because if you didn't think I made a good enough enemy to fight with you wouldn't've bothered all these years, and we both know it.

Renee: (Arrives at the table looking worried and uncomfortable.) Asa, is everything all right, here?

Todd: (Drippingly sarcastic:) Big Daddy and me were just having a little heart to heart here.

Tea: Everything's fine, Renee. Thank you.

Todd: (Not looking at Renee but at Asa:) Yeah, no blood on your carpet.

Asa: (Eyes locked on Todd's:) Yet.

Renee: (Hissing tightly, trying to keep her voice down:) Asa, (linking her arm firmly in his) could we have a little talk somewhere a little more private, please?

Asa: (Looks at Renee:) What the hell do you want now? Have you reconsidered our dinner date?

Renee: I'm still on duty.

Asa: Then why should I talk to you, I wasn't through --

Renee: Oh, yes you are! You will leave them alone tonight. I run a quiet dining room and I'd just like some peace and quiet tonight. Is that really so much to ask of you? (She drags him off by the arm.)

Todd: (Smirks after them as they go.)

[Cut to: Roseanne's room. Roseanne begins preparing more dolls and collecting related materials into her small sack of magic stuff. There are small bones, small bundles of herbs and twigs, and she distributes some ground powders of various colours into small paper packets she folds carefully closed and ties with strings, and so on. Scene ends.]

[Cut to: Palace Dining Room again.]

Tea: Come, sit down again.

Todd: I'd rather go someplace else.

Tea: Todd, we're here, Asa's had his say and we've had our theory confirmed. I thought you'd be happy about that. Please sit, and let's have some dinner.

Todd: (A bit petulant:) No, I won't sit down.

Tea: You insisted we go out to dinner when we did, now I'd like to have a quiet dinner with my husband. Ok?

Todd: Like hell --

Tea: Are you tired?

Todd: What?!

Tea: Tired?

Todd: What?

Tea: You're acting like a little boy who's skipped his nap. Please sit down with me and we'll order some dinner. I'm starving now.

Todd: You eat. (He sits sullenly, arms crossed.)

Tea: We eat. Do I have to feed you?

Todd: No.

Tea: Look, we can pretend we're out on a date, ok?

Todd: A date?

Tea: A date. I know, we can pretend we're really madly in love. We can fool the whole room. We can feed each other.

Todd: Like with wedding cake or something?

Tea: Sure, we can share our dinners. You can feed me some of yours and I'll feed you some of mine, like that.

Todd: Have you lost your mind?

Tea: I plead the Fifth Amendment.

Todd: You're serious? I mean, first it was clothes, and now food?

Tea: You thought it was a good idea that day I fed you my burrito at the diner.

Todd: Umm...

Tea: It's good PR, you know.

Todd: Huh?

Tea: Yeah. See, if we can make a few well-placed, sincere public displays of affection, when the custody stuff hits the Press we can point to this.

Todd: You think?

Tea: Yeah. Can't hurt. Blair would try to compete with Max once she gets wind of these scenes, but I figure we can play it off as sincere. You game?

Todd: Lemme think about this. (Thinks a moment, staring off into space.) Hmm... Ok. (Leaning in and putting his elbows on the table and opening his menu, he begins to read it, selects something and closes it.) What will you have, darling?

Tea: (Having copied his gesture, looks up from her menu at him:) Oh, I don't know. What are you having, dear?

Todd: Just a steak and potato and things.

Tea: I see, going for the fancy stuff.

Todd: Hey! I eat normal food. You've been known to eat fish eggs on little tiny 'toast points'. Bleah. Normal people just don't eat those things.

Tea: (Laughs.) Who said I was normal? I married you, right?

Todd: You still eat fish eggs. I've caught you at it. (Shudders.)

Tea: I won't argue the point. At least we like the same beer.

Todd: Beer. I should get a beer or three.

Tea: I am not carrying you home tonight.

Todd: Three beers won't do me in.

Tea: They'd do me in. Unless I'd had dinner...

Todd: We're having dinner, ok? Order something, already. Renee's just issued a waiter to us.

Tea: (Turns to look sweetly at waiter.) Oh, hi.

Todd: You know this guy?

Tea: Yes, Rachel and I have had lunch here and he's been our waiter each time.

Todd: You gotta crush on the Gannon kid or something?

Waiter: (Blushing and looking embarassed.) A gentleman never tells, sir. Now, may I bring you a drink before dinner or would you like to order first?

Todd: Beer.

Tea: What he's having.

Waiter: Any specific kind, sir?

Todd: Dark beer.

Waiter: Miss?

Tea: Yes-please.

Todd: Mrs.

Waiter: Oh, I see.

Todd: She's my wife.

Waiter: Oh! Well, you have a lovely wife, sir.

Tea: Todd...

Todd: What?!

Tea: He's paying me a compliment based on meeting me with Rachel. Now that he knows I'm taken and Rachel's single, you have nothing to worry about.

Todd: (Glares at waiter.)

Waiter: (Politely ignores this.) What would Mrs. Manning like to order?

Todd: How does he know your name?!

Tea: (Flashes Todd a look, then:) I'd love the lobster dinner. Oh, and the lovely garlic bread, please.

Waiter: Very good. Sir?

Todd: Steak, potato.

Waiter: Baked?

Todd: Yes.

Waiter: What kind of dressing would you like?

Todd: No.

Waiter: How would you like your steak, sir?

Todd: Medium.

Waiter: Very well. I will be back shortly with the beers, salads and a basket of our garlic bread. Enjoy your meal.

Tea: (Puts her hand on Todd's from across the table, he closes his mouth.) You were going to say something snippy and sarcastic, right?

Todd: I'm never snippy. I'm snarky.

Tea: (Chuckles.) How could I have gotten such a key thing wrong about you?

Todd: (Smirks.)

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Club Indigo, same time that evening.]

Asa: (Enters the club and crosses to the bar.)

RJ: (Trying to sound at least perky but not really thrilled to see Asa, he is after all the Host:) Asa Buchanan. As I live and breathe.

Asa: Maybe not.

RJ: Now, Asa, you seem not in a good mood.

Asa: Don't you patronize me, Gannon. Besides, I'm looking for that she-devil Blair. I got some business to propose to her.

RJ: She's here... with Max.

Asa: (Swivels in his seat to look around the darkened room.) Ah, there's that she-devil now, and her snake. (Turns back around to the bar.) Bourbon and branch.

RJ: Comin' up. (Pours, sets it down in front of Asa.)

Asa: (Sips, reacts to the fire, turns around and heads casually to Max and Blair towards the back of the room with the drink. Slimily casual:) Hi, Blair... (Blair and Max look up, Blair's lip curls into a snarl as she regards Asa.)

Blair: What do you want, Asa?

Asa: I've got a business proposition for you. Could help win you custody of that little girl of yours.

Blair: What's in it for me, other than Starr?

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Palace Dining Room, a little while later. Todd and Tea are eating their garlic bread and salads. Todd, eating with his fingers, offers her a bit of salad. Tea accepts it in her mouth with a smouldering look only he can see and watches his reaction. There is a glint in his eyes as he smirks at her. The rest of their meal arrives. Scene ends.]

[Scene: Diner, about the same time that evening. Jess and Cris arrive.]

Jess: (Finding a booth and settling in:) So, are we ready to talk with Todd and Tea about this?

Cris: Are you going to keep avoiding telling your Dad?

Jess: (Sighs heavily.) Probably.

Cris: Your grandfather took it well, do you think he might already have told your Dad?

Jess: I might think so if I thought they were on speaking terms. Maybe I should call my brother, I know he could break it to Dad gently. If my Dad already knew, wouldn't he have called me by now?

Cris: Your brother? I thought I knew them all.

Jess: Oh, sorry. Cord. Cordero Roberts is my brother, remember?

Cris: How soon we forget. Yeah. Ok. So you haven't even told Cord yet? Don't you think he should know?

Jess: I haven't told Tina, either.

Cris: They all live together, maybe we should tell them all at once?

Jess: They don't share much of a life for siblings, though. Tina used to genuinely hate Todd, I've been really surprised at how supportive she's been of him all summer. Not a peep of her usual hatred for him, not an angry word at him or about him, nothing.

Cris: Do you think she's got something planned?

Jess: That's the thing, she was always scheming but she was always so bad at keeping her plans quiet enough not to screw them up somehow, and again not a peep. Either she's gotten better at it, or she's really changed at least about Todd.

Cris: I don't know her well enough to really know.

Jess: Believe me, this Tina is a softy when it comes to her brother now. I guess I'll have to watch them when we tell them together.

Cris: If we can get them all in one place to discuss it.

Jess: (Looks up towards the door.) Oh, god...

Cris: (Turns and follows her gaze, looks back at Jess.) Just be calm, ok? We're a team, she can't do anything to us.

Roseanne: (Sarcastic and saccharine:) Oh, look, my favourite couple. Hello, you two.

Jess: (Guardedly cool:) Hello, Roseanne.

Cris: What do you want, Roseanne?

Roseanne: Oh, nothing. Just you. (Looking at Cris.)

Cris: Too bad, Roseanne. You're much too late.

Roseanne: No, I'm not. We were married when we were six and we're still married. Nothing can seperate us for very long nor for good. Not even her, Cristian.

Cris: We were little kids and the ceremony was a play ceremony. We were never married, not for real and not now, so you can lose your little delusion now, Rosie. I wouldn't marry you now if you paid me, not even if you tried to somehow blackmail me into it, which I wouldn't put past you to try. Again.

Roseanne: We are married, Cristian. We've always been.

Cris: Well, then we are divorced now on the grounds of my long-standing adultery.

Roseanne: You can't divorce me.

Cris: I just did.

Roseanne: You can't, you can never leave me, Cristian.

Cris: You're not getting this, Roseanne: We were never married and we were apart for almost 7 years. Sure, we wrote back and forth, but I never once pledged to marry you, or stay by you except as a friend. This constant harassment has cut a serious chunk out of any feelings even of friendship I might once have had for you, do you understand that?

Carlotta: Children, please. Roseanne, you're not on for another few hours, I suggest you go do something else until your shift. Ok?

Roseanne: Cristian, we are married, no matter what you say or do. We always were and we always will be, no matter who else you think you're married to.

Carlotta: (Shoots Cris a look, turns to Roseanne and stands in her way.) Roseanne, please leave until your shift. NOW. If you don't I will see your life gets much harder than it's been.

Roseanne: Is that a threat, Carlotta?

Carlotta: A promise.

Roseanne: Cris and I are married, he can't marry anyone else, especially not her.

Carlotta: GO.

Roseanne: You're all gonna regret this. (Turns on her heels and stomps out of the diner.)

Jess: (Lets out a deep sigh, as if she'd been holding her breath the whole time, and covers her face briefly. She looks at Carlotta and Cris, making barn doors with her hands at the sides of her face.) I'm not nuts, she really is turning into a genuine fruitcake. Married? What is that all about?

Carlotta: When the children were little they used to play house and so on, as I think everyone's done as little kids.

Jess: Yeah.

Carlotta: Well, one day when they were about 6 Roseanne suddenly realized that if they were going to keep playing house they should be married. It was summertime.

Cris: So she got all dressed up and got one of her mother's scarves as a veil, and her mother's shoes even, and got me to get all dressed up and I borrowed Papi's tie and one of his hats. We were sweltering. Suits are hot! Papi's hat was so big it kept falling over my eyes.

Carlotta: They set up an alter and roped in Antonio and Jose for the little wedding.

Cris: There were a couple of the other kids from our block involved, but that was basically the whole thing.

Carlotta: I could see and hear it all from our window. I have to admit it was very cute, but it was a bunch of little kids who still mostly had their baby teeth. Nothing to be taken seriously.

Cris: Except by Roseanne. Apparently she'd been very serious about it and thought it meant something official. She pestered me about it for months, and then we got busy with school and we didn't see each other all the time for a while.

Carlotta: I think it started coming back to her when her mother died.

Cris: I think I kept most of her letters, but I do remember her talking about us being married soon after that from Nana Elba's after she was sent there. I do wonder if she was always a little off and nobody thought it was odd enough then to take notice?

Carlotta: She wasn't really so odd when she was small, actually. She was a good little kid, who liked the usual little girl things. I think the thing that did the most damage was Annarosa's death. After that she was sent away to live with Nana Elba, who she says she thinks hated her and Enrique.

Cris: She does?

Carlotta: I think Roseanne's right about this, I don't recall Elba as too supportive of Annarosa being with Enrique. She never thought he was good enough for her, but Annarosa adored Rick and he adored her. So much would have been different if Annarosa had lived.

Jess: I suppose this would make me feel sympathetic to Roseanne if she hadn't already tried so hard to hurt me and seperate us.

Carlotta: What has she done to you?

Jess: Nothing I don't think we've already told you about. She's probably still trying the little voodoo dolls she thinks have power over people, that sort of thing.

Cris: And fights like this one.

Carlotta: I'll see if I can do anything, I do think she's under a lot of stress and she's lashing out but it doesn't excuse this.

Cris: Are you not telling us something, Mami?

Carlotta: It has to do with the events around Annarosa's death. She's been finding out what really happened, and as you can imagine, it's not going over well with her. I think she hates everyone now.

Jess: And this is a change because...?

Cris: (Guffaws.) Ummm...

Carlotta: Well...

Jess: Uh-huh. I hope she goes to live with Will. They deserve each other.

Cris: I thought you liked Will!

Jess: He's been trying to get between us since he and Roseanne arrived, and before he left early for college he was really just getting on my nerves. I can see the handprint of his having been raised by Lindsay during his formative years.

Cris: Ah. I deal with Lindsay a lot these days about the gallery, but she seems to be careful not to discuss you and her son with me.

Jess: A bit of rare sense from her, I'd say.

Carlotta: Jessie!

Jess: Carlotta, I'm not all sweetness and light and I've run out of patience for both Will and Roseanne.

Carlotta: I don't blame you, I'm about at the end of my rope with her too. I'm hoping she's saving her money, she says she wants to go live with Will, and I gather they are in contact, but I hope she has money saved to live on. Just because his father's devoted to him and makes a lot of money does not mean Will himself is rich or will end up being as rich as Sam. Roseanne's likely to have a rude awakening about marrying into wealth like Tea did.

Jess: Tea did it the second time for love, and my uncle certainly did it for love. I can't believe I'm saying that, but he really is madly in love with Tea and she seems just as hopeless about him.

Cris: I don't think Roseanne is capable of having what we have or what they have.

Carlotta: Like I said, she's probably in for a very rude shock.

Cris: Will might be, too.

Carlotta: Yes, he might. Right now she sees dollar signs and escape.

Cris: Will may end up seeing stars and dollar signs when she's through with him.

Jess: (Laughs.) What an image. Maybe she'll bean him with a voodoo doll?

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Palace Diner, moments later. Tea wears a lobster bib, feeds Todd bits of lobster from her lobster fork, as he offers her bits of steak and potato from his fork. She ends up stuffing lobster into his mouth with her fingers, giggling. He feeds her more food. A few people in the room watch them, seemingly with approval. Todd becomes self- conscious and withdraws slightly.]

Todd: (Fidgeting:) You look really silly in that bib, you know.

Tea: (Sarcastic:) You look really comfortable. (Gently:) What's wrong?

Todd: (Leans in, lowers voice:) Everyone's watching. I feel paranoid enough right now.

Tea: So, ignore them. We're still relatively newlyweds, we have a right to this sort of goofiness and this sort of scene.

Todd: (Withdraws subtly more.)

Tea: Ok. Use your arrogance for this one. Let's show them. Eat. (Gets a piece of garlic bread and breaks off a bite.) Open up, this is the good stuff.

Todd: (Looks at her a moment, bites it out of her hand.) This is the good stuff. I'm glad he keeps coming back and refilling it.

Tea: Ah, a convert. Rachel and I are gaga over this bread.

Todd: We have something in common other than you?

Tea: Seems so. Good taste. Feed me.

Todd: You're ordering me around now?

Tea: I'm still hungry.

Todd: You eat like a horse, how can you be hungry?

Tea: So do you, and I know you're always hungry.

Todd: Shut up and eat. (Feeds her some of his dinner with his fingers. She licks his finger.)

[Cut to: They finish, pass Renee at the entrance, and Tea makes it a point to link arms with Todd.]

Tea: (Under her breath to him:) Let's make it look like we're well-mannered and in love.

Todd: (Squirms.) This is too touchy-feely. I just ate.

Tea: (In her most seductive manner, her hands on his chest and her face close to his:) At least let's hold hands and make it look like we're the happy newlyweds we're supposed to be.

Todd: PR?

Tea: Mhm. (He takes her hand, and she returns to his side. He seems very relieved to hold her hand, letting his breath out before they start walking down the hall out of sight, hand in hand.)

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Llanfair Study, same time. Tina and her children are reading on the couch.]

Sarah: Mom?

Tina: (Reading:) Mmm?

CJ: Can we go see great-grandpa tonight?

Tina: Tonight?

Sarah: Yeah.

Tina: It's a little late.

CJ: He won't mind --

Sarah: -- Once he sees it's us.

Tina: You two planned this out, didn't you?

Sarah: No...

Tina: You're a terrible liar.

CJ: Well?

Tina: What makes you think he'll even be home?

Sarah: I don't know, but let's not call ahead. If he's there it'll be a surprise.

Tina: If he's not there?

CJ: We can see Nigel.

Tina: I see. If I didn't know any better I'd be sure you really wanted to see Nigel. (The children just grin at her.)

[Scene ends.]

TO BE CONTINUED