PREVIOUSLY

Blair: This isn't going to end peacefully, Todd.

Todd: (Sarcastic:) Oh, don't make promises you can't keep Blair. Now, get out of my office unless it's work-related. We've got deadlines.

Blair: (Makes a huffy noise, turns around and leaves.)

Kelly: I could strangle her some days.

Todd: I wish someone would. More work, less talk. (Sits back down and goes back to work.)

[Scene ends.]

**************************************************************************************************

[Scene: Diner, lunchtime same day.]

Todd: (Entering:) Carlotta, have you seen Tea, yet?

Carlotta: (Icily:) Hi, Todd.

Todd: (A little taken aback.) What'd I do now?

Carlotta: You're still married to Tea.

Todd: Yes, I am. She says I make her happy.

Carlotta: You make her miserable.

Todd: Yeah, but I also make her happy. Look, Carlotta, I don't expect you to see it her way, to see what she sees when she sees me. I can barely see it. I've hurt her, yeah, I've also held her in the night when she's had trouble sleeping, like she does for me. I rub her feet when she's tired. I take care of her. Do you?

Carlotta: I don't live with her.

Todd: My point. You don't know anything about our life together, or about me. You think you do, and you can think what you want about me, but don't keep telling Tea she made the wrong choice in being with me. She chose me. That was her decision. I still can't believe it, but she chose me. She could've had a priest, but she chose me. In fact she did have a priest.

Carlotta: Andrew is still a much better man for my Tea than you'll ever be.

Todd: That's not what she tells me. She tells me she loves me, she even likes me. I think she's about the only person in town who's crazy enough to like me.

Carlotta: Why do you hurt Tea so much?

Todd: I don't.

Carlotta: Yes, you do. You hurt Tea all the time. She married the Town Pariah.

Todd: I wouldn't go quite that far.

Carlotta: I would.

Cris: (Comes to the counter on Todd's side.) Mami, could you just stop this?

Carlotta: Why, Cristian? Are you suddenly sticking up for Todd because of Jess?

Cris: Yeah, actually. Look, Todd, we have plenty of reasons to hate you or at least not like you very much, but Jess, she loves you. Mami, Jess is not stupid, we all know what Todd's done. Jess sees something good in her Uncle, although I have no idea what.

Todd: Gee, thanks.

Cris: I'm willing to set aside at least some of this because I love your neice and I'm trying to see you through her eyes. I wish, Mami, that you would try the same thing. It's what you and Papi taught 'Tonio and me to do.

Carlotta: I'm not nearly so ready to bury the hatchet.

Todd: Except in my back.

Carlotta: (Glaring at Todd:) Maybe.

Todd: How would Tea feel if you hurt me?

Cris: (Looks back and forth between them a moment.) Stop, you two. I don't want this.

Roseanne: (Saunters up to Todd and Cris, her order pad in one hand and some dirty dishes in the other.) What're you doing here? (Sets the dishes down on the counter in front of Todd.)

Todd: (Observing what she's doing:) Oh, great, the Greek Voodoo Chorus has arrived...(looking right in her eyes, voice even and a bit cold:) bearing gifts of filth as usual.

Cris: (Glares warningly at Todd, Looks to Roseanne:) He's waiting for Tea, Rosie.

Roseanne: (Still locking eyes with Todd, coolly:) If I were her I'd stand this louse up.

Todd: (Growling:) If I were you, I'd shut up.

Cris: Roseanne, leave him alone. (She finally looks at Cris.) I don't want Jess coming in here and finding a brawl in the diner.

Roseanne: Poor Little Rich Girl can't stand a few thrown punches near her?

Cris: Not when it's her Uncle, no.

Roseanne: (Looking at Todd, but speaking to Cristian:) This one can take care of himself. He's been to prison. (Snarling at Todd:) Where he belongs.

Todd: And you're pure as the driven snow, that it?

Cris: Antonio's been in prison, too, but you don't treat him this badly.

Roseanne: He's not Todd. Antonio didn't rape anyone.

Todd: I'm not here, just carry on as you were.

Cris: (Looks at Todd. To Roseanne:) Before this gets really ugly, Roseanne, why don't you leave early for Class?

Roseanne: We're shorthanded, Cristian!

Cris: And you're short tempered. This is not a request.

Roseanne: Fine. (Goes behind counter to put away apron and pad.) I'm out of here. The air's too thick in here anyway, I can hardly breathe suddenly.

Todd: (Smirks.)

Roseanne: (Leaves, stomping.)

Carlotta: Fine, Cristian. I still think you're all wrong for Tea, Todd.

Todd: She doesn't.

Cris: Todd...

Todd: (Flashes Cris a look, but relents.)

Carlotta: (Goes back to taking orders and cooking behind the counter in a bit of a huff, and keeps glancing back at Todd for a while as she works.)

Jess: (Passes Roseanne in the doorway, Roseanne snarls at Jess unpleasantly as she brushes past Jess. Jess is a little taken aback by the animosity, but rolls her eyes and mouths "whatever!" and walks into the diner.)

Cris: Hi, Jess. (Crosses to her and hugs her close, kissing her briefly.)

Jess: Hi. (Smiles at Cris.) I've really had it with Roseanne.

Cris: Me, too. (Kisses her again.)

Todd: (Turns around to watch them, an impassive expression on his face.)

Jess: (Notices Todd, crosses to him.) Hi, Uncle Todd. Waiting for Tea?

Cris: (Dashes off, working.)

Todd: Yep.

Jess: (Sits in the stool next to him at the counter.) What's wrong?

Todd: How did you know?

Jess: I know you.

Todd: Whatever... Blair wants to keep Starr from me.

Jess: Full custody?

Todd: Yeah.

Jess: You look exhausted.

Todd: Between my nightmares and Starr's I still don't sleep much.

Jess: You have nightmares?

Todd: All my life. I usually barely sleep.

Jess: I'm sorry, Todd... Starr was very angry that you left, you know.

Todd: I know. I know how she feels.

Jess: (Mildly accusatory:) But you left anyway.

Todd: Remember what was happening then.

Jess: (A little sadly.) Yeah.

Todd: I should've stayed. I couldn't.

Jess: I understand. Now.

Todd: I know it's taken time for you to come around on this.

Jess: It has.

Todd: I left you, too. I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, too. You have every right to hate me.

Jess: Did you ever think of who it would hurt when you took off?

Todd: I always think everyone would be better off if I weren't around.

Jess: That's not true, Todd. You're my Uncle, and I love you. I was so worried you'd gotten hurt and that's why no one heard from you for so long. I was so afraid you were dead.

Todd: I kind of was.

Jess: How? Help me understand this, Todd?

Todd: All I can do is try... I'm not sure I really know what happened. I can't believe I'm about to talk about this in public like this. This is not how I wanted this to happen.

Jess: What do you remember? Because you were suddenly just there in our doorway one day, sitting in the snow and running a fever.

Todd: (Looks away, thinking. He tries to keep his voice conversationally low throughout this conversation.) After I left, I touched down at JFK and wandered New York City a bit, then took a cheap, grimy, non-descript little room somewhere off the beaten track. I wanted to hide. I was angry, but I was in so much pain and I hardly understood what had happened.

Jess: I'm not sure any of us really did. I think we all thought we did but it wasn't what it looked like at all, was it?

Todd: No, it wasn't... I know I spent some of that time just crying uncontrollably in my apartment and lying down on my bed when it all hit me. I finally had time to think about it and it just hit me like a train wreck. I think there was about a week when I could hardly get out of bed and hardly, I think, stopped crying. It was just uncontrollable, like it was years of crying all at once. I didn't trash the place, there wasn't really anything there to trash. I thought I was never coming back here, everyone I loved hated me, and it was essentially all my own fault. I mean, I'd really screwed up this time and nothing I could do would fix this this time.

Jess: You could've stayed and talked it out with us.

Todd: None of you wanted to hear what I had to say. You'd all heard the tape and thought you knew what was what. It's not like I didn't try, and Viki told me she didn't love me, so did Tea and Sam. I couldn't face anyone else after that. The futility of it was just Everest... After I crawled out of bed and got it together enough, I cleaned up just enough to go buy a boatload of booze. I got all this booze home and then I couldn't drink it. I crawled into bed for what seemed days and just slept. Then I went on a killer bender a little while later.

Jess: Do you know how long you were in bed?

Todd: No idea. I'm not sure how long the bender lasted but the comedown was brutal. Spent another few days in bed before I could really cope enough to shower without throwing up. I was so sick I couldn't believe I was still alive. I didn't want to be at that point. I thought, "what's the point?"

Jess: That sounds awful. Why didn't you call any of us then?

Todd: You all hated me.

Jess: Why the bender?

Todd: I wanted it to stop hurting. I wanted to be numb and knocked out. I knew the booze would help and if I took enough it'd take me out for good. I wanted to be drunk enough not to know the difference.

Jess: I wouldn't've believed that at the time, I'd've thought this was just another of your manipulative games at first blush, but if you'd called and made us go see you or made me or Mom listen to you while you were like that and told us where you were, I think we would have come to you.

Todd: No you wouldn't, none of you would've come if I'd called then. None of you wanted to believe anything out of my mouth.

Jess: Could you have called Dr. Boyd?

Todd: Are you kidding?

Jess: Well, he was your therapist then and you were in the kind of trouble he's supposed to help you through.

Todd: I couldn't face anyone then. Least of all some shrink.

Jess: If you had called us, I don't think we would have said no even then. You were clearly desperately messed up and needing the help of your family.

Todd: That's kind of the point: I didn't have a family then, Jess. I didn't have anyone. 20/20 hindsight for you, heavy, sharp reality for me.

Jess: (Firmly, bristling a bit:) I'm not some little kid anymore, Todd, I do have a clue here. I think we would have come if you had asked for us to come to you even then.

Todd: You'd all turned me away, all turned me out, thinking I'd been lying to you. Viki said she didn't love me anymore. Imagine what I felt like then. My sister had stopped loving me because she felt I'd been lying to her about something important. I so wish to this day I had been, Jess. You don't know what it is to live with this. At least the voices are quieter now.

Jess: Yeah, I do, Todd.

Todd: Not from the inside.

Jess: No. They are quieter?

Todd: (He nods.)

Jess: That's good, right?

Todd: (Quietly:) Feels better, anyway. (He pauses a moment, looks away watching Carlotta at the grill, looks at Jess again, looks at the counter.) I love you, Jess. I always have. (Looks at Jess, turning to face her:) See, I said it. I adore you, and I'm really pushing myself to say these things openly, here, even though they're so unbelievably revealing and sappy, and I can hardly stand it. I left you, and I'm really sorry.

Jess: So am I.

Todd: I hurt you, and you have every right to tear me apart for it.

Jess: I could, and maybe I will eventually, but not now. Now you're here and I want us to rebuild this relationship. I can tear you apart in private.

Todd: Oh, goody.

Jess: You're my only uncle on Mom's side, and we've been through a lot together. I don't want to lose you. Not again, ok? I'm an adult now, not the little kid you first knew. We're more like peers now.

Todd: I'm still getting used to thinking of you as a grownup and not a kid anymore. I have to figure out how to deal with that, I liked you better as a kid.

Jess: You've always had a gift when it came to us kids. I know you love Starr very deeply. Blair served you?

Todd: (Heavy sigh.) Yeah.

Jess: Look, Todd, I love you, right?

Todd: Ok...

Jess: Well, maybe you should just let Blair have Starr.

Todd: No way, Jessie! (Looks around, lowers his voice.) No way. Starr's my kid, I'm not letting her be raised by Dorian, Blair, and Max. They hate me. Would you let someone who hated you raise your kid?

Jess: (Flashes back on the encounter in the doorway.) No. No. I would not. Ok.

Todd: I can't let Blair raise her, she'd turn her into a Cramer!

Jess: No, she wouldn't. Starr is very strong-willed, she's so like you it's sometimes scary.

Todd: Yeah, she is Daddy's little girl. That's why I can't lose her, Jess. You're your Daddy's little girl, as much as I hate Clint, so you know what that feels like.

Jess: I know, but Max is around her now, and he's good with her.

Todd: He hates me, how long before he takes it out on my kid? And where are his kids?

Jess: He's never hurt her, Todd.

Todd: How do you know? And you think I will??

Jess: No! But he doesn't have the kinds of secrets you do, the kind of history.

Todd: My life's an open book at this point, Jess. There are no secrets to keep from her.

Jess: What about Marty?

Todd: (Seems to blanch a moment.) I'll -- I'll tell her about it when she's old enough to understand it.

Jess: When will that be?

Todd: I don't know. Her teens, I guess. When she starts thinking about boys -- oh, not my kid, my kid's not dating until she's 30!

Jess: (LOL!) You're fooling yourself if you think that'll work, Todd. I started dating Cris at what, 14?

Todd: (Fairly stares at her.) You're not a good role model then.

Jess: (Laughs again.) I am, if you want her to save herself for someone she's in a committed relationship with, someone she loves and trusts and who loves and trusts her.

Todd: Yeah. Ok. But you dated before 30, that makes you iffy.

Tea: (Arrives but isn't noticed. She hears only Todd's last comment.)

Jess: What would be so bad if Starr were raised a Cramer?

Todd: She'd turn out like one of them. I don't want her taking after Blair, or dumbed down like Kelly lets herself be, or crazy like Dorian and Cassie.

Jess: There's no guarantee of any of that. Starr's pretty independent.

Todd: She's had to be since her Dad left her on her own with those... "people".

Jess: She's growing up, Todd, she's learning to take control of her own life. That's a testament to how you raised her, more than anything Blair did. You had her with you most of her life.

Todd: Um, Jess? Could you do me a favour?

Jess: What, Todd?

Todd: Uhh, the thing you just said to me a while ago? Could you tell your Mom that for me?

Jess: You can tell her yourself, you know.

Todd: (Looks uncomfortable.) I would if I could. I've tried to lots of times.

Jess: It gets stuck?

Todd: Like a very large frog. (Jess laughs. Tea is baffled.) Umm, can you?

Jess: I guess I could, just this once. After this freebie you're on your own.

Todd: Gee, thanks Jess.

Jess: I gotta go meet Sarah and CJ. You ok, Uncle Todd? (Gets up from the stool.)

Todd: Yeah, I guess. Tell them I said hi?

Jess: I will. (Leans over and kisses Todd's cheek. His eyes close as she does so.) Bye, Todd.

Todd: Bye, Jess.

Jess: (Crosses to Cris, kisses him passionately and Cris responds. They get a little lost in it, and then remember where they are and stop. They hug, a little sheepishly, they smile at each other, and Jess leaves.)

Todd: (Takes note of the kiss. He follows Jess through the room protectively with his eyes, and sees Tea watching him near the doorway by the cigarette machine as Jess passes her and they say hi. He looks at Tea, taking her in for a moment. Tea approaches him at the counter.)

Tea: You ok?

Todd: (To Tea:) When you think he'll pop it?

Tea: Who what?

Todd: The big question, Delgado! Jess and me just had this big talk, but we didn't talk about that.

Tea: Oh, Cris? I don't know. It looks like he might ask her soon, though. They're old enough to get legally married now.

Todd: It makes my head hurt thinking of my little neice getting married anytime soon.

Tea: They're practically married already, they've dated so long.

Todd: I wonder if they're married like us, or like normal people?

Tea: Todd, we ARE normal. We're just a different normal from most people.

Todd: You mean I am. I'm a freak. Besides, you're no virgin schoolgirl, and I gotta kid.

Tea: We're both different from other people. Now, it's lunchtime and I want to eat. You gonna eat?

Todd: Pick something. I'll eat just about anything. (He gets up and crosses to an empty booth, Tea following him as they speak.)

Tea: I know. When you're eating it's great fun to feed you. When you're not, it's like pulling teeth to get anything in you. (They sit in the booth.)

Todd: Ever think of sending Roseanne off to a convent or something?

Tea: I'm not sure the priests would be safe.

Todd: No, I don't mean them.

Tea: I do.

Todd: Oh. Even a priest??

Tea: Who knows? You know what she's like.

Todd: Creepy.

Tea: More obnoxious than you are.

Todd: Nobody's more obnoxious than I am.

Tea: She is.

Todd: She ripped into me before, right after Carlotta had been clawing at me about you. Don't they ever quit?

Tea: No. I've tried.

Todd: Cris tried to get them to stop, so Jess wouldn't get an earful of how much they hate me... (Reaches toward her side of the table.) Gimme your hand.

Tea: How come?

Todd: Just gimme your hand, Delgado.

Tea: (Puts her hand in his.)

Todd: (Closes his hand around hers and covers them both with his other hand. He takes a breath, seeming anxious.)

Tea: You ok?

Todd: (Looks at their hands. Exhales.) Better now.

Tea: Ok. If you want me to do something, tell me?

Todd: (Almost a little shaky:) This is ok.

Tea: Ok. If you need more please try to let me know, ok? (Trying to catch his eyes.)

Todd: (Looking in her eyes:) I'm anxious enough, I want to calm down. This is all I can take. I want more, but I can't handle it right now.

Tea: I understand. Are you gonna be able to eat?

Todd: (Looking at their hands again:) I'll try.

Tea: (Squeezes his hand.) It's going to be ok, Todd. Ok? Listen to me. Look at me.

Todd: (Looks in her eyes, and flits back and forth from her mouth to her eyes several times.) Yeah?

Tea: (Stands up just enough to lean across the table and kiss him sweetly.)

Todd: That's embarassing, Tea!

Tea: But I felt you respond, so I know you liked it. Did it help?

Todd: (Conceding reluctantly:) Yeah.

Cris: (Appears, in apron and pad, pencil ready.) Hi, Tea.

Tea: Hi. (Sitting back down, tucking her skirt back under her.)

Cris: Can I get you something for lunch?

Tea: I thought you were shorthanded all week, where's my neice?

Todd: She took off early.

Cris: I sent her off, things were heating up, she was joining in on Mami's attacking Todd. I didn't want Jess walking in on a brawl.

Tea: Oh. That bad?

Todd: It was getting there.

Cris: Like I said, it was heating up.

Tea: Give us a few more minutes, ok?

Cris: Sure. Now we're shorthanded. I'll be back later, ok?

Todd: Shoo.

Cris: (Takes off to clear a table.)

Tea: Don't be rude to Cris, ok? He did stick up for you.

Todd: Yeah. Look, there has to be something nice I can do for you, Delgado.

Tea: Spending time with you is a nice thing you can do for me right now.

Todd: I want to.

Tea: Then let's order lunch, got any preferences?

Todd: I dunno. Maybe we should share one of Carlotta's huge burritos?

Tea: You're going to just pick?

Todd: I'm that transparent?

Tea: I've been through this with you before.

Todd: I'm scared. I don't want to lose my kid. I don't want to lose you, either. Where did you go when I went out drinking?

Tea: Carlotta's. I tried to sleep there, but I couldn't, I was worried about you even though I was angry at you.

Todd: I was so sure I'd finally driven you away.

Tea: I wanted you to get a bit of a shock when you found me gone.

Todd: I guess I deserve that after all the times I've been so horrible to you, but I really needed you that night.

Tea: You shut me out, Todd.

Todd: I came home to an empty house except my sister who was asleep. How do you people do that?

Tea: It's a gift.

Todd: Yeah, for girls only.

Tea: You sleep.

Todd: Not without you, these days.

Tea: You said the house was empty. What did you feel when you realized I wasn't home?

Todd: Truth or Convenience?

Tea: Todd...

Todd: Ok, ok. (Takes a breath.) I went from room to room in the dark looking for you. I could barely face Starr's empty room, and when I got to ours the door was closed so I hoped I'd find you home after all.

Tea: I was probably already tossing and turning at Carlotta's in the guest room.

Todd: I almost couldn't go in when I saw you weren't there. I felt I'd earned it, though, so I got really upset.

Tea: Not angry?

Todd: Only at myself. I needed you and I'd driven you away again.

Tea: You didn't let me know you needed me, you shut down on me and then walked out.

Todd: I was too broken up to talk. I walked around on the docks for a while, looked at the boats on the water for a while. Then I started walking and ended up at Rodi's. RJ was there.

Tea: I wonder why?

Todd: He said he got let out of his cage. (Gives a slight smile.)

Tea: Ah, so you were feeling trapped?

Todd: And scared. Anxious, hurting.

Tea: You could have stayed and just sat down with me, let me try to at least help you calm down so we could start planning out a legal strategy so we can keep Starr.

Todd: I really could not talk then. I knew I wouldn't be able to cope, I just needed it all to go away. To not hurt for a little while. I had started to panic, and sometimes drinking helps the panic go away for a while.

Tea: Did it work that time?

Todd: Not much. I just ache all inside right now. I'm certain the court will find me an unfit parent with my rap sheet, and I'll lose her for good this time. It's like I'm all bruised inside over this. My daughter... -- Starr really is my heartbeat, and if I ever lose her it'd probably kill me.

Tea: You'd still have me.

Todd: (Looks in her eyes:) Would I? Look, I've lost one child already and it just brought me to my knees. I almost lost her when she was so sick, you saw how I was just over a fever, remember? I can't go through that again. Cannot and will not lose her again.

Tea: (Smirks. Deadpans:) What will you do when she goes off to college?

Todd: (Winces.) Big help, Delgado.

Tea: We won't lose her, Todd. We won't. Ok?

Todd: We'd better not, or Blair will regret she served me those papers.

Tea: Let's get through the court stuff, ok? Don't do anything rash. If we do our part all above board and play what cards we have right, we will win this. You have to keep a good grip on yourself, all of you, to get through this. I don't want you freaking out in front of the Press or in the courtroom, ok?

Todd: I hope I don't have some sort of flare-up when things get testy.

Tea: Let's work to make sure there aren't any, ok? You, me, Viki, Dr. Boyd, Sam; we all have to pull together and get through this so we can all have Starr back for good. Let's start with making sure you eat at least one good meal a day, ok?

Todd: We could do it take-out and go eat in the park. Would you like that? It does make me feel better when I do something for you you like. I almost feel like a normal guy, like a normal husband.

Tea: You are. We're making our own "normal". Eating our lunch al fresco sounds like fun. We'll find a patch of grass under one of the bigger trees and eat there.

Todd: That would be ok with you? I know you hate the outdoors.

Tea: If you'll be with me, I think I'll enjoy myself.

Todd: Ok.

Tea: (Spots Cristian.) Cristian?

Cris: (Taking an order a few tables over:) In a second, Tea.

Tea: Ok, Cris. (Turns back to Todd, takes his hand and looks in his eyes. She smiles at him.)

[Scene ends.]

[Scene: Park, a little while later.]

Tea: Ooooh, nice breeze, huh?

Todd: Cooling everything down.

Tea: Smell the flowers?

Todd: It is kinda nice.

Tea: How about here? (Sets the bag of food down.)

Todd: Ok. Think we got enough? That's a big bag.

Tea: I am going to make sure you eat a good meal today.

Todd: Yes, Mom.

Tea: Don't you 'Yes, Mom' me, Todd. You need to take care of yourself, ok? I will not have you falling apart during this custody fight.

Todd: Ok.

Tea: Now, let's eat. I'm starving.

Todd: (Stretches out on the grass on his belly, his head propped on an elbow, his cheek in his hand as he watches her every move.) You're beautiful, you know?

Tea: (Smiles at him.) So are you, Todd.

[Scene ends.]